Chapter 37: Sirius's Wedding

Perhaps I should have thrown an opulent wedding, but everything was as simple as possible. Me, the Lestranges, Sirius Black and Alecto Carrow. And one more person…

It was jarring to see an immensely pleased Carrow in purple robe. The woman positively glowed with happiness. She was covered in jewelry, actual jewelry and not some charmed objects. Makeup and dressing up transformed her into a beauty: floor-length robe and high heels gave the illusion of height, corseted waist and other tricks slimmed the figure…

Sirius Black looked accordingly: cheerful and relaxed, shooting adoring, undressing glances at Alecto. He wore a painfully bright lime-green robe, his long hair braided with red ribbons. This outfit wasn't exactly traditional, but Sirius has always been a rebel. It would have looked suspicious if he suddenly decided to scrupulously follow protocol. But if he behaved nearly identically to his real self, everyone would only mildly wonder how these qualities mixed with his loyalty to the Dark Lord.

Black shook hands with Rodolphus, and the two were soon engaged in an animated conversation. Edward watched them from the corner, hiding a smile behind his wine glass. He's done an excellent job. Not even I noticed anything suspicious. The secret included rituals, potions, spells, and artifacts implanted into the body. The most difficult part was making it all work when Black tuned into a dog without killing him. Now, a full scan inside a ritual circle would show nothing but traces of a strange illness. Only an autopsy could reveal Black has long been a puppet. The glassy eyes gave him away, but it was simple to solve with charmed lenses. And to be completely safe, we would not let him out of the house. All their conjugal duties were going to take place here, the manor was large enough…

I wore a dress robe, green to match the color of Avada Kedavra. For the occasion, I even removed all my illusions to look like a mid-thirties man instead of a mutant. Why not? The Lestranges already knew, Black would never tell anyone since didn't even register what he saw, and Alecto would witness an additional proof of my trust in her husband. I finally got an opportunity to use household magic for its intended purpose: styled my hair for the first time in this life. Carrow's surprised face was worth it.

"My Lord, I'm happy you honored us with a visit in your true appearance," said Bellatrix, bowing low.

She looked stunning: tall, good figure, luxurious hair… I never understood Rodolphus. If my wife acted this way, I would have long dragged her to a forced session of legilimency with Veritaserum… Although, the Lord hasn't shown any interest in sex in a very long time, so his apathy was somewhat justified.

"I'm always interested in my followers' lives," I replied.

"My Lord, I don't see any signs of illusions on you," Carrow asked politely, carefully mimicking Bellatrix. Her curiosity must have outweighed the fear of punishment. I haven't tortured any of them without a good reason lately, much less after learning about necroenergy… At this rate, I'd soon start fretting over the right of lobsters to painless death…

"I am happy to see you, Alecto. I don't have any traces of illusions because there are no illusions. This is my real appearance. Only my most faithful are allowed to know this secret. Since Sirius has chosen you, you are now part of the highest circle of trust," I confided. This was a perfect time to play monarchy.

"My Lord… Your trust is a great honor…" Alecto bowed, visibly relieved that she avoided the Lord's wrath at her stupid question.

It felt strange to see fear in her eyes. I've had very little human interaction lately. Material was kept unconscious unless ingredient preparations dictated otherwise. The Lestranges didn't fear me. Snape I could not read. And after I saved Lily from compulsions and monster-Bathilda, then proved I didn't kill her husband, she became much more tolerant. Only killing Peter turned her a little suspicious and and anxious…

"More wine, mistress?" asked a service golem shaped like a house elf.

Maybe I caught Moody's paranoia, but we kept the house elves away from Black. I lost my locket because of a blasted elf! Therefore, the Lestranges made five clay golems that could be broken with a good kick and had no magical abilities. They were the only ones serving us today.

"Yes," my guest answered with infinite disdain, in a voice that could freeze the entire Pacific Ocean. The golem didn't get hit with a torture curse only because it would spill the wine and not feel any pain.

I considered coming to the wedding alone. I couldn't care less about etiquette, I made my own rules. But a number of factors interfered.

First, subtle power plays. They more false information my servants believed, the more it protected my back. Second, I wanted to watch a magical marriage ceremony in Pandora's sight. When I was healing Diana Crouch, I simply concealed her in the corner. But in a place without the same violent clashes of energies, she would be too easy to notice. I went off schedule working with horcruxes and had no time to prepare quality concealment, so I found a simpler solution: told Lily to stay home and polyjuiced Pandora into Elena. Now Elena could escort me without all the troubles of creating illusions for Lily!

Unfortunately, while Tom somewhat knew his way around men's fashion, he knew nothing of women's. After I embarrassed myself burning the Aurors with Fiendfyre in a house robe and started a bloodbath in Diagon in an evening dress, I learned a bit about how women dressed. But judging by the face of Rabastan, who was drinking the most expensive wine and diligently pretending to be a piece of furniture, I again did something wrong. Did I dress her too provocatively? If Pandora were a normal woman under Imperius, I would have simply ordered her to dress as witches usually dressed for formal occasions. But when I tried that, she conjured a dandelion wreath on her head and intended to go barefoot. I was certain I chose the lesser of two evils.

Where did I go wrong? She had the correct robe length, no exposed back, cleavage or legs. I caught Rabastan's eyes… Nonverbal wandless legilimency… A separate dress code for weddings? Earrings from the wrong metal? The color of her ring stone matching the color of my robe was a bold innuendo? Oh for crying out loud! Back to the Time-Turner and studying women's fashion…

"I'm happy your health is returning to normal. I heard you dealt with Peter Pettigrew," Bellatrix addressed Elena-Pandora. Since Pandora was no match for Lily in power, I had to layer her with artifacts and antiscanning charms. As I discovered, it implied distrusting the host.

"The disgusting half-blood showed too little respect when speaking to me and not enough loyalty to the Dark Lord in his thoughts. I slowly roasted him alive like the rat he was. I faithfully serve the Dark Lord, and Alastor Moody will soon die by my hand. Even though my past strength has yet to return, even Rosier recognized my accomplishments in producing homunculi to solve your sister's problem. If the Dark Lord weren't here, I would never bother answering your questions. I don't gossip behind Master's back," said Pandora with rabid fanaticism.

To put it mildly, this was rude. It reminded me of boxers shaking hands before the fight. The Lestranges already knew Elena was working on Malfoy's curse with Rosier, and Carrow had to learn to appreciate high-level intrigue.

Carrow seemed to realize the new weight of the Lord's trust. She linked arms with Black, and they began discussing whom and how they would sacrifice to weaken Malfoy's curse, casually inching away from "Elena."

It was imperceptible without legilimency, but Bellatrix's mood instantly soured. Not from the rudeness but from imagining what the Lord could have been doing with Elena in his handsome appearance. Sensing the changes in his beloved, Rodolphus hurried to console and distract her. It looked like we were going to have a wedding without a fight…

The relationship with Bellatrix would probably have to be rushed. At some point, she was going lose her composure and hit Elena with something, and we'd all be lucky if she chose the Cruciatus. I could forbid her from attacking, but Bellatrix was as clever as she was beautiful. She'd drop a hint, and an eager to please house elf would arrange some tragic accident. Let Nessie out for a walk and leave an apparition-blocking artifact nearby…

After some drinks and exchanges of pleasantries, Black made a fiery speech about how honorable and exciting it was to serve the Dark Lord and how happy he was to be marrying Carrow. Then came the time for the ceremony itself.

Tom didn't know much about wedding rituals, and I always had more important issues on my mind. The easiest option was a civil marriage. A Ministry official, documents, a note in the records book- and the two are legally married. No different from muggles, with all of the same trappings in case of divorce. On this front, the marriage between Sirius Black and Alecto Carrow had been registered in the Brazilian Ministry half an hour ago, under assumed names. Lily married James Potter with the same procedure in England. Technically, wife and children from a civil marriage may be later magically added to the family, but Potter never cared about his heritage or jumping through pureblood hoops. For us, this was unacceptable: the entire purpose was creating a Trojan horse that would let us into the Blacks' home.

I tasked Edward Lestrange with organizing everything, as the head of an old family. The goal of a magical marriage was for one side (usually the bride) to join the other's family. Even if the family source was far away or inaccessible, the ceremony formed a connection that would start working as soon as the they came near. There were hundreds of additional options, such as enhancing health and fertility, repelling certain magical parasites from the couple's home, punishments for infidelity, curses on potential bastard children… We needed none of that and chose the bare basics, yet it still fell within two Ministry bans: blood magic and ritualistics.

Edward launched into a long sermon about "the two loving hearts." His words carried zero magic.

Then came the time for presents. The Lestranges gifted a galore of jewelry, parts of magical animals (nundu fangs and the like) and several rare magical plants.

It was my turn. There should be no mistakes: I specifically researched the rules and symbolism, then consulted with Edward. Three gifts, never purchased, would honor Black as my equal.

"First, a modest Gringotts vault," I said.

I made a one-time transfer of all my drug profits from the last five months. The Carrows… they were not poor, owned a couple of houses. But by Malfoy or Lestrange standards, they didn't have much. Sirius wasn't quite himself, and the goblins would never release family funds into his hands. Then Alecto would have questions: "darling, where is the money?" This way, the Lord paid for the honeymoon. We have to spend it, we don't want to insult the Lord! And after Sirius's death, she'd become the sole guardian of the Black heir.

"Second, allow me to gift you this Horntail egg I earned in a fair fight."

Strictly speaking, Macnair and I needed all the dangerous creature eggs we had for creating a big mean beast to ambush Dumbledore at the inferi cave. But dragon eggs could be bought, even if it was difficult and punishable by prison time. This way, the Lord shared his personal trophies!

"Third, I know of the legendary Black library and would like to gift you a book that will become the star of your collection," I gave them a handcrafted safe with a book in an isolating container. "Be very careful, the book has quite a temper. It constantly tries to kill someone and is very resilient. It is called The Murderous Book of Murders. I created it myself," I said, flashing a charming smile.

I had a good chat with the author of The Invisible Book of Invisibility . I came over while he was asleep and rifled through his mind several nights in a row. The man was a genius of his field. He achieved a resonance effect: if the shape and the behavior of a book matched its contents, adding a series of his proprietary charms amplified the book's effects manifold! A book on cats, for example, would behave like a live cat: meow, scratch, climb trees, run from dogs…

I tried my hand at these charms to create a convincing copy of the diary horcrux. The book's base was Rosier's lab journal. Some more entrees from me, a series of charms, a couple of tortured prisoners - and within a week, I had a hard to kill, extremely aggressive, nearly uncontrollable object. It was originally meant for Albus, until I found a better solution to forging horcruxes.

"But it has one weakness: if you tell it of the kills you made, it temporarily becomes docile. Inside, it contains descriptions of thousands of creative murder methods. And if you describe a true murder, it will be added to the book."

"Your gift is priceless," said Black with the expression of a boy who found his father's porn cache.

Then Edward took out his wand and conjured something resembling a ball of yarn that wrapped around Alecto and Sirius. Literal bonds of marriage… We all walked around the hall, following the sun's path. After the seventh circle, the bride and groom stood before Edward. They kissed on the lips, knelt facing each other and touched each other's body with their wands, chanting the ritual words. It somewhat resembled the unbreakable vow.

"I, Sirius Black, take Alecto Carrow to be my wedded wife. From this day forward, she is a Black, as are all my children born of her body. May Magic be my witness!"

Sirius had been disowned, but that was his personal problem. As the only remaining male Black, any children he fathers would be Black in name and magic. His children haven't been preemptively disowned, so Walburga would get a grandson.

"I, Alecto Carrow, take Sirius Black to be my wedded husband. From this day forward, I am a Black, as are all my children born of his seed. May Magic be my witness!"

Just like a vow, a marriage bond inserted certain conditional triggers into their individual magic. Maybe I could I develop something based on marriage oaths? A general vow or a scanning charm of some sort?

But back to the ritual, which was nearing conclusion. The bride and the groom each received a glass of wine. They drank half, exchanged glasses, and drank half of the rest. Then they cut each other's wrists with a silver knife and dropped some blood into the remaining wine. Sirius drank the wine with Alecto's blood, Alecto drank the wine with Sirius's.

Next came the interesting part. I watched it in my own magical sight and through Pandora's eyes with legilimency. As soon as Alecto finished her wine, she collapsed and started spasming on the floor. This was the exact stage that once wrecked Bellatrix. We didn't step on the same rake twice: Edward and Rodolphus personally calculated their compatibility. After his wife's tragedy, Rodolphus studied the subject to understand what went wrong…

Carrow twitched on the floor, silenced and held in place by Edward's telekinesis, with Black kneeling next to her and whispering words of encouragement. This lasted nearly thirty seconds. The pain may not have reached the level of Cruciatus, but it certainly surpassed childbirth.

Since the ceremony took place indoors, I simply laid down a rug with runes one floor above. I calculated everything - it shouldn't interfere with the ritual, only aid my perception. Carrow connection to her family source was withering and dissolving. The moment it completely disappeared, a new one stated to form. She would have much worsened replenishment until she visits the Black's home. Everything went without a hitch, just as we planned.

In Pandora's eyes, the picture looked startlingly different. It was as if dozens of invisible kittens were playing with yarn and tissue paper, all of it passing through Carrow's body without harming her. I tried to hold the image in my head, but it slipped away. I'd review it in the pensieve at night. "Astral sight" was not a panacea, merely a different spectrum.

This gave me a lot of ideas. Was it possible to attach several channels at once? How would it affect the "necroenegy" clearance? In principle, if connection to one place of power tripled it, several would solve all my problems. Doubtful it'd be this simple- no one has ever drawn from more than one… With Alecto, everything was clear: one channel replaced by another. But what if she didn't begin with the Carrow family connection? Would she have died from pain in the process? Or still form a new one? Could I shake up my own energy system the same way? And how to test it? Have Barty marry a muggleborn?

"How are you feeling, love?" asked Sirius with infinite tenderness and care, helping Alecto up from the floor.

"I'm all right," she rasped.

Wizarding traditions were baffling. Common sense suggested Alecto take a day off to rest. But the tradition demanded they run to fulfill their bedroom duties. I might have found the cause behind the purebloods' procreation issues: a conditional reflex connecting sex to pain…

"Congratulations on the successful ceremony," I said.

Sirius Black carried his hurt wife to the nearest bedroom. He had put the key and papers for the Gringotts vault into his pocket, and a clay golem shuffled behind them with the book and the egg in metal boxes.

Officially, out part here was done. But I, Elena and Edward followed the newlyweds to maintain control over Sirius. We entered a room with a floor drawing that gradually transformed into a mirror. It showed the reflection of Sirius and Alecto having sex.

Not making love, precisely sex. The potions made Sirius Black passionate with absolutely no brakes. Alecto could be most flatteringly described as sluggish, though I'd just call her a log. I was surprised she was even conscious.

This compulsion to have sex right after a pain shock made no sense. I would have blamed misogyny, but witches and wizards were equal. And always have been. Magical power knew no gender, the killing curse didn't discriminate, and the number of methods to prevent unwanted pregnancy approached infinity. In a different world, Sirius could have joined the Carrow family, and the ceremony would remain the same.

They demonstrated nothing interesting in bed. I was getting tired of watching porn: Crouch Jr. regularly turned in his reports and memories of researching "the power of love." So far, the only results were several new methods of healing minor illnesses and repelling weak magical parasites.

Albus often spoke of the power of love. I assumed that High Light Magic required it. But I only ever had one love: the love of life. If sex bore any connection to love, it may be possible to approach Light Magic through sex. Barty would continue trying, good luck to him… Though Albus probably didn't mean sex…

"My Lord, breeding blood traitors is not something I ever imagined myself doing in my sixties," Edward said. "Setting up Black's dates, directly controlling him… I feel dirty. I really wish I didn't have to watch them, but since we fed Black Lust's Folly, and I recently removed the inhibitor… If we left them to their own devices, Alecto would probably end up with a massive bleeding, postponing her pregnancy and interfering with our plans. I must keep watching to stop Sirius in time. And I can't only do it once because then Alecto would wonder why her husband cooled off! I have to endure this on a regular basis as long as Black lives!"

Complaining was out of character for Edward, but no one else had full access to the manor's defenses and could do this job properly.

"I thought of marrying Alecto after Black's death," he continued. "We'd divide the children evenly: half to the Blacks, half to the Lestranges. But now, after seeing this… I can't bed a woman who slept with a blood traitor…"

In my opinion, they all took their bigotry far too seriously. She slept with Sirius, so what? I saw no difference in her before and after… From Edward's point of view, consorting with a blood traitor made her dirty by association. But in Alecto's eyes, Sirius Black was the Lord's most faithful servant who pretended to be a blood traitor so impeccably that even his own mother disowned him. He didn't hesitate to lay down his life and magic for the Dark Lord! Marrying such a man was anything but shameful.

"Truly revolting, my Lord," Elena-Pandora chimed in as I ordered. "After today, I don't want to hear another word about Black, the foul blood traitor!"

As I understood, the purebloods with a family source have always been considered elites. Renouncing it made them blood traitors, despised by the rest. They faced problems with fueling their ancestral homes' wards and, as I recently learned, sharply increased chances of going insane from Dark Magic. But our humanist times made it inconsequential.

"It is necessary," I replied to both of them. "The Blacks' wealth will benefit the organization, we will gain their vote in the Wizengamot. They are bound to have many interesting things in their manor, and I'm not talking about silverware. Family wands to test with Priori Incantatem, a pensieve with memories of their muggle hunts… I'm confident we will learn something new beyond just torture curses."

My main goal was Slytherin's locket… And the private book collection of the Black family head. Hopefully, it included Secrets of the Darkest Art, vol 2. The Dangers of Dark Magic: How to Remove Necroenergy. Extended edition . Dreams, sweet dreams… It will likely only lead to more questions. I've been searching for some magical counterpart of a supercomputer ever since my appearance here but kept finding counterparts of rusty pickaxes.

"I understand everything, my Lord. It truly is an elegant solution, if somewhat unexpected," said Edward. "Still, it's disgusting."

Really, the Death Eaters were so strange. Kill and torture? Easily. Sex with a blood traitor? Oh, the horror!

Elena-Pandora was standing next to me, looking at Alecto and Sirius in the mirror. Neither magical nor ordinary sight registered anything special, but the way she was staring without blinking could only mean one thing: she was following her orders to gather information on the wedding ritual. I immediately focused on Pandora's mind and saw the world through her eyes.

The magic that barely calmed down after the ceremony whirled back into action. This time, the movement was barely perceptible. I didn't initially notice anything, dismissing it as natural oscillations of Pandora's sight. It resembled a nearly transparent kaleidoscope, but a closer look revealed something was clearly happening. I pondered what it might be. Conception? This fast?

"Edward, once the mariage ceremony is completed, does consummating it carry any magical weight?" I asked.

"No, the marriage is considered fully valid from the moment the ceremony ends, as soon as the old channel is replaced by the new one. This is a standard ritual, age or virginity of the partners are irrelevant."

"Then why have sex immediately after the ceremony, when the woman is in no shape to enjoy it?"

"Tradition, my Lord," said Edward. His thoughts said it was no better than asking a Scotsman why they wore kilts.

I was thinking again. Excluding the possibility that wizards jumped straight to sex because they were idiots, this tradition must be necessary. And I only had one guess: necessary for something related to children. Back in her time, Bellatrix got severely hurt by the reconnection. When she thrashed for five minutes with no sign of stopping, they began healing her. It took her a month to recover, and all that time sex was the last thing on her and Rodolphus's minds. It was plausible that her infertility problem stemmed from there.

Should I try healing her? Not according to common sense. A baby would eat up her time, be a liability and potentially an ideal hostage. But it might be worth considering..

Barty Crouch Jr.

Barty Crouch arrived at the summons of his beloved master and was kneeling in front of his throne… erm, chair.

"You may get up, Barty. We need to talk," the Dark Lord said.

"Yes, my Lord."

"How is life on the run from the law treating you?"

"It's bearable, my Lord. I'm being careful."

"I want to discuss your family."

"Their lives belong to you, my Lord. Just like mine. Just like everything in this world, for you are the omnipotent-"

"Enough. So, your father. He is one of my worst enemies. A powerful wizard who did not eschew Dark Magic in battle. I will try turning him to our side, but he is unlikely to fold. This leaves two possible paths: death or life under Imperius. Although, I would prefer something more secure than the Imperius. Either implants in the body or… I'm currently testing something…"

"Anything you wish, my Lord," Barty replied.

"However, your mother…"

"Yes, my Lord?" Barty tried his best to suppress the anxiety. Of course, the Dark Lord always came first, but Barty's mother loved him. He pitied her…

"She never stood against me, and I don't fault her for anything. She can be easily led in the right direction, especially with your help. We will find her a job: brewing simple potions or babysitting."

"Thank you, my Lord," said Barty, relieved.

"There are too few purebloods. I am interested in increasing their numbers. If everything goes well, you can begin getting used to calling Edward Lestrange Father. Any questions?"

"No, my Lord. Edward Lestrange is a worthy man loyal to our cause."

"Wonderful. Now, let us discuss the jobs you've been performing outside of your Death Eater duties."

Barty flinched. He always believed a human ought to have magic, at least some trace of it. To this day, he woke up in cold sweat from nightmares about sleeping with muggles. Luckily, he didn't have to suffer too much before the Lord allowed him to switch to witches. But Barty still failed to understand the why of it. Master's words about "whitewashing the organization" stuck in his mind. What did it mean? Mass murders were all lies, the Death Eaters were just a swingers' club? Avada Kedavra? Ambient green lights. Crucio? BDSM. Masks? Protocol. Muggles kissing our feet? Well, I'm a master! Ropes and chains? Bondage. And Barty Crouch Jr. himself was not a terrorist, killer or Dark wizard but a glamorous playboy. Oh, he really shouldn't have entered that one muggle's head… with legilimency, that is.

"My Lord… I can't keep up with your powerful mind… All the rituals based on sex… They're honestly weak… Most of them are much easier to perform without sex… Except for marriage rituals, but they don't need any additional research…"

"The Dark Lord's orders are not to be discussed, they are to be followed," Master said.

'Got it,' thought Barty. 'The Dark Lord orders me, and I order my balls.'

"You will know more once everything is ready. I need specialists, and I don't care where or how you find them. If you are curious, it will be a novel approach to working with curses."

It turned out Master was not only the greatest wizard but had a sense a humor… albeit a somewhat unusual one.

"Your will shall be done, Master," Barty replied.

"Go tend to your duties," the Dark Lord dismissed him.

I was soon alone in my study. At some point in life, everyone wanted to read others' thoughts. But in reality people's minds held very little worthwhile information: most thoughts were variations of "this hurts, I want that." And knowing Barty's made it very difficult to keep a straight face.

I had a good habit of achieving multiple goals with a single action. Now, I was putting together a plan to leak Barty's brothel escapades to our paid off journalists. Barty, of course, worked under polyjuice, so the print version would read "unknown wizard makes rounds of magical and muggle brothels."

At first glance, hardly important news. But who could that be?

The suspect concealed his identity. The suspect was wealthy. The suspect performed blood magic on himself to achieve rock-hard erection: a couple of prostitutes ended up in a hospital with symptoms usually found after group rape. The suspect often spoke of the power of love and did not discriminate by blood status.

Who was it?

Voldemort? Nonsense! The Dark Lord was a human-crocodile hybrid who could only do a woman with his wand and would throw all three Unforgivables at once if she wasn't a pureblood. Everyone knew that!

Death Eaters? Death Eaters paying prostitutes in gold and drunkenly confessing their love? Nonsense! If a Death Eater slept with anyone, it could only be rape followed by, at best, Obliviate, but most likely by Imperio, Crucio and Avada Kedavra. Haven't you read the papers?

Who loved everyone and constantly praised the power of love? Who was the most fashionable and kindly wizard in Britain? That's right, Albus Dumbledore. Who would have thought: the old man decided to relive his glory days! There was truly no fool like an old fool.

I'd need to give Barty a quality Elder Wand replica… Stupid to expose my phoenix for such a trifle… Visiting prostitutes would not land Albus a prison sentence. He wouldn't even lose any of his posts. But it was a start. This way, at least the children at Hogwarts would steer clear of him…

I was thinking. I had a pseudonym: Tom Marvolo Riddle - Lord Voldemort. I should create a nickname for Albus and have Barty use it.

Albus many names and titles Dumbledore… From this day onward, prostitutes shall know you as Sadomaso von Dom, the great champion of the power of love in action.