Chapter 15 The Kid Wants a Wife

"Uncle, have you been fighting with Auntie again?" Yan Moshan asked.

"Who's been fighting with your Auntie? Do I look like I have that much energy to spare?" Xu Fusheng raised his voice.

"Then why are you here so late?"

"I came to check on you, it's not been peaceful in the village lately, don't go out wandering at night." Xu Fusheng entered the yard and rolled up some dry tobacco.

"What's not been peaceful? Uncle, don't you look all calm and collected coming over here?" Yan Moshan asked again.

"Are you cursing me, kid?" Xu Fusheng raised his foot and kicked Yan Moshan's butt, "Your Auntie is resting right now, I took the opportunity to come see you."

"Not going back tonight?"

"I will, I'll go back in a while, I need to teach your Auntie a proper lesson, so she stops bossing around all day and calling me useless!" Xu Fusheng boasted with an air of bravado in his tone.

"Uncle, does that mean the dried eel really works?" Yan Moshan asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"You rascal, why are you asking about this! What are you thinking about all day long?" Xu Fusheng tilted his head, "Moshan, tell Uncle, are you starting to think of getting a wife? If it's true, I'll set you up with someone over the New Year. Look at you, all anxious like a bear, flailing like a frosted eggplant."

"No, I..." Yan Moshan opened his mouth, not knowing what to say and feeling embarrassed to say it.

"What about you." Xu Fusheng blew out a puff of smoke, "Moshan, living requires patience, you can't just follow your impulses. I didn't discipline you enough before, and you lack patience. Take the time you were expelled from school, wasn't it because you peeked at a girl's butt? If you had patience and didn't peek, wouldn't you also be a middle school graduate by now? Maybe you could have gotten into a key school like Fan Zaoni."

Mentioning Fan Zaoni made Yan Moshan's teeth itch with hatred, "That stinky girl, one day I'll get her back!"

Hearing this Xu Fusheng laughed, "Haha, you little stinker, so you fancy Fan Zaoni, the secretary's daughter huh! But you should take a good look at yourself in the mirror, think whether she'd fancy you back, heh."

After hearing this from Xu Fusheng, Yan Moshan got even more agitated, "Uncle, I don't fancy Zaoni, I just hate her!"

"You kid, don't think I don't understand because I haven't been to school. Isn't it always said on TV that love is as deep as hate? Look at how you grind your teeth when you talk about Zaoni, it means you like her!" Xu Fusheng enjoyed a good puff of his dry tobacco, "Moshan, be realistic. Don't set your sights too high. When I'm free, I'll keep an eye out for a girl from an ordinary family for you. Drop the idea of the secretary's daughter, don't waste your energy."

After being lectured by Xu Fusheng, Yan Moshan lost his temper. To be honest, he actually did like Zaoni quite a bit, but he could feel her indifference towards him, which made him feel very inferior and totally lacking in confidence in her presence.

"Alright kid, just focus on growing up for now. Think about the wife business in a couple of years." Xu Fusheng walked out of the yard saying this and closed the door behind him.

"Uncle, you're not staying for a while?" Yan Moshan was actually quite eager for Xu Fusheng to leave, but he tried testing the waters anyway.

"Stay for what? By now your Auntie must have come to her senses, I have to go and strut my stuff again!" Xu Fusheng strode off, his footsteps thudding on the earthen ground.

Yan Moshan scratched the back of his head and muttered to himself, "So eating dried eel is really effective, I'll have to try it sometime." Thinking about pleasant things, he went inside, threw his fish spear into a corner of the wall where it stuck firmly in the ground, and then climbed onto his bed, quickly falling asleep.

"Woof woof woof..." Big Old Hei barked excitedly. Yan Moshan rubbed his eyes and climbed out of bed reluctantly. It was a rule he had set for himself, to check things out whenever the dog barked loudly because it definitely meant something was up. Yan Moshan got out of bed in a daze and went to the courtyard gate to take a look, but all was quiet. "Old Black, if you keep barking, I'm going to neuter you!"

Yan Moshan turned to go back inside when a small voice reached his ears, "Moshan, Moshan!" The voice gave Yan Moshan such a start that he nearly fell on his butt. Could it really be a female ghost?! The bachelor, Cao Xiong, had once told him that living alone out in the wild, one might get visited by a female ghost at night, a ghost that sucks the life out of men.

"Who's there!" Yan Moshan asked timidly.

There was no answer, only a white figure that stood up from across the peanut field and started walking towards the gate.

"Ghost! A ghost!" Yan Moshan cried out in alarm and with a "snap" shut the wicker gate, unleashing Iron Chains. "Big Old Hei, guard the door! Don't let the ghost in!" Big Old Hei, having received the command, barked twice more.

There was no more movement outside, and Yan Moshan's eyes bulged.

"Yan Moshan, you little bastard, open the door!"

Yan Moshan's mind went blank; the female ghost even knew his name. But after tasting the sound carefully, he realized it was Zhang Xiuchin. Yan Moshan hurried to open the door, "Auntie, what are you doing here so late at night?"

"Auntie missed you, didn't she? That Second Fool ruined things this afternoon, but I've been thinking of you all the same." Zhang Xiuchin darted into the courtyard and without a word, she reached for Yan Moshan's thigh, "Moshan, your auntie keeps her word. I said I'd let you touch me this afternoon, and I didn't get the chance, so here I am to make up for it now."

Yan Moshan was naturally pleased to hear this, but his uncle had arrived suddenly and without a sound, so now he felt very nervous, "Auntie, considering how late it is, perhaps this isn't appropriate?"

"How is this not appropriate? I think it's just perfect. No one will know, no one will see. I refuse to believe that Second Fool would come here in the middle of the night!" Zhang Xiuchin pulled Yan Moshan towards the house.

"What about Uncle Fugui... Isn't Uncle Fugui at home?"

"Him? Drunk as a skunk and out like a light," said Zhang Xiuchin as she headed straight for the bed, "Moshan, don't you want to touch your auntie?"

"... I do," Yan Moshan stammered.

"Well, come on then, your auntie is letting you touch." Zhang Xiuchin had already lain down and started to unbutton her white checkered shirt.

Yan Moshan was somewhat afraid and didn't dare to move forward.

"What are you afraid of? Your auntie doesn't have teeth all over her body, she isn't going to eat you. And even if she does, she'll spit you back out, guaranteeing you'll enjoy it!" Zhang Xiuchin said while reaching for Yan Moshan's thigh.

The night wind tumbled down from the mountain, causing the leaves of the orchard's trees to rustle. Yan Moshan's mood was like the leaves, swaying back and forth, unable to settle down. "Auntie, let's do this another time, I'm really feeling all jittery inside, can't focus."

A duck quacked outside the window, and Zhang Xiuchin chuckled, "What are you scared of? A duck is scared but can at least let out a quack, how come you don't make a peep? Besides, it's normal to be nervous the first time. It's just a moment, like when you first went to learn swimming in the river. You must have felt your heart pounding, but once you dive in, what's there to be scared of? Now, I'm your river, come on in."

Inspired by Zhang Xiuchin's words and with his blood pumping, Yan Moshan finally mustered up the courage and stepped towards Zhang Xiuchin...