Phantom Pain

Lila gasped as she jolted upright, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her breath came in short, and her fingers trembled as they clutched the sheets beneath her. Cold sweat clung to her skin, and yet her body felt unbearably hot—burning from the phantom pain of a wound she had never received in this lifetime. 

She reached up, pressing a hand against her damp cheeks. Tears. 

She was crying. 

A dream? A nightmare? 

No—it was too real. 

She could still feel the weight of the sword in her hands. The sharp sting of cold steel piercing her skin. The suffocating agony of betrayal. The warmth of Axel's arms wrapped around her as the life drained from her body. 

Lila's breathing hitched as she swallowed back a sob. 

What was that? 

Why did it feel like a memory rather than a dream? 

She turned her head, her gaze landing on Axel, who was lying beside her, his back turned. His breathing was steady, as if he were deep in sleep, but something felt off. 

Lila reached out hesitantly, her fingers barely grazing his shoulder. "Axel…" she whispered, her voice raw. 

For a moment, there was silence. 

Then, Axel tensed. 

Lila's heart lurched. 

She could feel it—the shift in the air between them. The heaviness. The weight of something unspoken. 

Had he seen the same nightmare? 

Or worse… 

Did he remember?

Lila's day went by in a blur. Despite going through the motions, her mind was plagued by the haunting remnants of her dream. No—her memory. The images of blood-stained hands, of Alexander's tear-streaked face, of Axel's piercing, tormented gaze—everything felt too vivid, too detailed to be mere fragments of her imagination. 

She spent the morning distracted, barely registering the conversations around her. Even as her attendants dressed her, fixed her hair, and brought her tea, her thoughts spiraled. 

Was it just a nightmare? Or had she truly lived that life? 

By the afternoon, the gnawing curiosity became unbearable. Summoning her personal assistant, Lady Elise, Lila leaned forward in her chair, her fingers gripping the armrests as she carefully asked, "Have you ever heard of a Duke named Axel Ardent and a Duchess named Lila Veritas?" 

Elise tilted her head, surprised by the question. "Axel Ardent… Lila Veritas…?" she repeated thoughtfully. Then, after a pause, her eyes lit up with recognition. "Ah, you must be referring to that old urban legend." 

Lila's fingers tightened slightly. "Urban legend?" 

Elise nodded. "Yes, it's an old tale. Some people believe they existed centuries ago, but their history was erased because they were despised by the people. No one truly knows what they looked like—there are no portraits, no records. Just whispers passed down through generations." 

A chill ran down Lila's spine. "Why were they hated?" she asked, barely managing to keep her voice steady. 

Elise hesitated before answering, "From what I recall, the Duke and Duchess were known for their tragedy. Their only son, Alexander, was… a murderer. The rumors say he killed children from the village, and when his crimes were discovered, the Duke himself gave him poison to put an end to the bloodshed." 

Lila's breath caught in her throat. 

Elise continued, unaware of her lady's internal turmoil. "The Duchess, devastated by grief and betrayal, took her own life using the Duke's sword. After that, the Duke disappeared. Some say he was executed, while others claim he simply vanished, never to be seen again. The tale is often used to warn nobles of the dangers of ignoring their children's sins or the consequences of power without morality." 

Lila swallowed hard, trying to process everything. 

It was true. 

Everything she had seen—everything she had felt—it had all happened. 

She had been that woman. She had been Lila Veritas. And Axel… 

She clenched her fists, her mind reeling. 

Why had fate allowed her to remember this now?

Lila felt an unsettling nausea creep up her throat as Elise continued speaking. Her hands trembled as she gripped the fabric of her dress, her breathing shallow. The room suddenly felt suffocating, the air too thick to inhale properly. 

"I—I need a moment," she mumbled, pushing herself up from the chair. The dizziness hit her like a wave, and she barely made it to the nearest basin before doubling over, retching. 

Elise rushed to her side, alarmed. "Empress! Are you alright? Should I call for the physician?" 

Lila wiped her lips with the back of her hand, her mind spinning. The weight of the memories, the horror of reliving that cursed past—it was too much. She felt sick, not just from the overwhelming emotions but from something deeper. Something unsettling. 

A cold dread settled in her chest. 

Moments later, a maid entered the room hesitantly, her expression nervous. "My lady," she said carefully, "the palace physician is requesting your presence." 

Lila furrowed her brows. "Why?" 

Lila's breath came in short, uneven gasps. The room blurred around her as she clutched Elise's arm for support. 

"The Empress—" The physician bowed deeply, hesitant. "Your Majesty, your body has shown all the signs. You are with child." 

A deafening silence filled the chamber. 

Lila's grip on her abdomen tightened. The word "pregnant" echoed in her head like a curse, her heart slamming against her ribcage. 

Her child. Axel's child. 

No. 

Her nails dug into the silk of her gown. The memories—the nightmare—clawed at the edges of her mind. The son they had before. His small hands drenched in blood, his wails ringing in her ears. The way Axel had looked at her before he made their son drink poison. 

The suffocating grief. The hatred that burned through her like wildfire. 

She staggered back, her ruby eyes wide in horror. 

"Your Majesty?" Elise's worried voice barely registered. "Shall I call for His Majesty? The Emperor should be informed—" 

"No." Lila's voice came out hoarse, barely a whisper. "Not yet." 

Not until she understood what this meant. 

She turned away, pressing a trembling hand over her mouth. This child… will it be different?

Or was history already set in stone? 

Would this child, too, be cursed? 

Her pulse pounded as she forced herself to breathe. She was no longer the foolish duchess from the past. She was Lila Veritas, the Empress of the Northern Empire. 

She would not let the past repeat itself. 

But how? How could she protect her child from fate itself? 

Her vision darkened at the edges as another wave of nausea hit her. 

And for the first time in a long while, Lila felt something she had sworn she would never feel again. 

Fear.