40: Trust

Xavier's POV

My hands move in a series of delicate movements within the frame of space in front of me. Celeste watches, her hands raised and ready as my statement comes to an end. "Now you," I instruct. She tries, her hands moving in directions similar to mine but not quite matching. She also skips a few movements, making her sentence much different to the one I had repeated back to her. A laugh escapes my lips as I take her hands in mine, stopping her before she went any further in her sentence. "Stop, stop."

"What? What did I say?" She pouts, leaning into me briefly before pulling back. I press my lips to her bottom lip, pressing again to her nose and forehead before pulling back.

"A lot of nothing, don't worry. Try again. Watch me." I took my movements slower this time, stopping halfway through. She copies the slowed down movements, getting them mostly correct. I sign the second half of the statement. She repeats it. I smile widely. 

"What does it mean?"

"It means," I start slowly. I scoot myself closer to her, beginning to repeat the motions in the same slow manner. "I am so incredibly happy to be here, with you." She blushes, scooting a few inches away from me on the blanket. "Hey," I scrunch my nose at her action. "Where do you think you're going?" I pull her back to me by her arm. She trips over herself and falls fully into my hold. I quickly wrap my arms around her, not letting her try to move away again. "You're mine," I mumble into her shoulder, pressing a momentary kiss to her neck. 

She pushes me back, tucking her hair behind her ear, settling back into a seated spot on the blanket. It was probably one of the last okay-weather days of the year. We both had on long sleeves. She wore a beautiful red sweater with a skirt and leggings in complementary colors. That green necklace she had bought in the human town hung around her neck. My eyes kept darting to it. She stared out over the cliff into the expanse of trees beyond the pond. You could still hear the waterfall this time of year but soon the snow on the mountains would freeze its water path. The pond will freeze over slightly, no source to keep the water stirring, but not frozen enough to skate on. Though I remember asking my mother about skating here as a kid every year, as if one year the ice levels would thicken enough. She would eventually laugh me off before taking me to the seasonal rink in the human town nearby. 

Celeste shivered as a gust of wind blew through the air. I took the scarf she had discarded upon arrival and wrapped it back around her neck, taking the green gem of her necklace and making sure it was visible beneath the warm black fabric. "Hot chocolate?" I picked up the thermos and she nodded eagerly, taking it from my hold. She had drank most of it by this point and I was happy to let her have the rest. 

In the distance, I could see wolves running in the forest every here and there. It must be later than I thought it was if that's where the patrol is at. I looked up to the sky, my eyebrows furrowing as I notice the position of the sun in the sky. 

"You okay?" My eyes found hers again and all was lost. All was good. 

"Yeah." I leaned back, my hands supporting me in my position. "Everything is perfect." 

And it is. Celeste has practically moved into my room at this point. She only goes to her room to switch out occasional closet picks, though I've given her half of mine, and to take the occasional mid day nap. I start and end every day with her in my arms. I do wake earlier than her, having returned to my routine of training with Jacob and/or Jared before the day fully starts. Then I go back to her. Sometimes I make her breakfast, bring it to her in bed. Other times, I find her in the kitchen already. She'll give me a bright smile, telling me what she's making. Sometimes she'll hand me a bowl of berries and tell me to wash and cut them. I'm happy to oblige. I'm happy with her. 

I love her. 

Goddess, I love her.

That's all I can think as I stare at her.

Still haven't had the guts to tell her while she's awake but that will come. I was actually planning on taking her out later this week. I've continued to be caught up in the rogue problems and, while our time spent together is more than it was before her heat, I still feel like I never get enough of her. So I planned a nice drive up the mountains. There's a small collection of shops up there, including a really nice restaurant that looks over the forest down the mountain. From there I just want to drive. Drive with nothing but her, the road, and the stars in the sky. With her and my continuous growing love and admiration. 

I love her as she joins me in training, always pushing herself every day a little bit more. 

I love her as she studies in my office, biting her lip as she gets too lost in her concentration. 

I love her as she cooks, a dance in her every step as she glides from cabinet to cabinet. 

I love her as she sits across from me, a disgustingly sweet coffee in her hand. 

I love her as she talks to her friends, my friends, our friends.

I love her as she talks to the pack members, a caring intrigue in every word they exchange. 

I love her yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

"I was thinking about paint colors!" I raise a brow. She was finally deciding to take up my offer to redo my, our, room. 

"And what are you thinking?"

"Brown," she said simply. 

"The room is already brown." She rolls her eyes at me, reaching for one of the lemon cookies she had baked with Lesa yesterday. 

"I was thinking," she takes a bite, continuing through a mouth full of cookie, "a lighter brown." She swallows her bite, handing me the second half of the cookie which I take gently from her fingers, our skin ever so slightly brushing. "With a take on a mural behind the bed. Same brown but with some deeper tones and a white to make some kind of floral scene."

"Sounds good. We can pick out paint samples later today, if you want?"

"You don't have work to do after this?" I shrug. 

"I do but I don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I take in a deep breath, not wanting to worry her by reminding her of the issues at hand. "The rogues," I say simply. 

"Still no leads?"

"We're trying to track their direction based on the other week's events."

"But?"

I run a hand over my face, not wanting to talk about this. "But there's not a lot of leads beyond we know they came through the mountain paths. No scents, no discernable foot or paw prints. No proof of life anywhere." My voice turns more gruff. I shift my position, reaching for another cookie.

She goes quiet for a minute and I hope for a change of topic.

"Douglas and Ivory are leaving tomorrow." Not the topic change I was hoping for. Douglas and Ivory are Autumn's parents. They'd been staying here the last few days, having arrived the same day as the Passing Over Ceremony. I tried my best to remain positive around them. Respectful and as positive as is appropriate. 

I lean away from her in what I try to make as a playful action, "I don't want to talk about that right now." I roll my head around before cocking my head at her. 

"Xavier. . ." I raise a brow. "You can't just not talk about it. It's okay."

"It's okay," I press, "to not want to talk about it. Not right now, Celeste." She tilts her head. "Please." She huffs. 

I look out over the small cliff, taking in a breath of the crisp air. Another small gust of wind blows. My eyes water and I think I'm seeing more wolves running far off in the distance. A quick swipe at my eyes brings me back to the clearing. Celeste is still quiet. I turn back to her, a pout on my lips. She sighs, rolling her eyes. I lean over, shifting my hands, and reaching up to tug gently on the necklace. I simply stare up at her, pout still on my lips. She sighs, rolling her eyes again before giving me a long look. A small smile tries to crack at the corner of her lips. She raises a brow, tilting her own head. I continue to pout and she sighs again, leaning forward to press her lips to mine. 

"I think you should talk to me," she whispers, pulling back just a breath away from my lips. 

"Since when did you get to be this wise?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see it again. I turn towards the view. My eyebrows furrow. 'Jacob, did you change the patrol routes?'

"Xavier?"

'No route changes are scheduled until next week.' I squint my eyes, trying to spot the wolves again. 

'Check status reports and double patrols, right now.'

"Xavier, what are you staring at?"

'Alpha.'

"Xavier?" Her hand settles on my arm. I turn to her, her eyes confused. 

'There's been a breach at two of the borders.'

'Initiate protocol three, lock down the pack in the safety bunkers and alert all warriors.' 

"Xavier, you're scaring me." I put my hand on top of hers. 

"We have to go now." I try to keep my voice as calm as possible but her brows furrow.

'All non-warriors, quickly report to your nearest safety bunker,' Jacob's voice cuts through the pack wide link. 

"Xavier," Celeste presses. "What's going on? What's Jacob talking about?" 

"C'mon." I push myself up, extending a hand to hers and pulling her up with a small sense of urgency. "We have to go." I pull her away from the blanket, away from the small cliff side, away from our little moment. She follows one step behind me, hand in mine, as I walk quickly back towards the path towards the pack house. 

"Xavier," she huffs. 

"Celeste," there's an urgency in my voice. A warning tone I've never used towards her before. She stops in her tracks, pulling her hand from mine. I reach back for her. She dodges me but our pace never stops. I give her a small glare that she returns. I stop in my tracks, turning to her. She bumps into my frame and I steady her by her shoulders. "Do you trust me?"

She searches my eyes, a frustrated look in her own. "Do you trust me?" 

"Of course, I do." There's almost a scoff in my voice. 

"Then tell me what's going on." Despite the urgency running through my blood, I feel a small defeat go through me. She's right. Of course she is.

"There's been a breach at two of the borders."

"Rogues?" I nod. She furrows her brows before giving a determined nod. She takes my hand back in hers, continuing her pace. I follow, squeezing her hand. We don't talk the rest of the way back, an urgency in our steps. 

As we get closer to the pack, pack members move around with urgency. There's four bunkers on the pack grounds for purposes such as this, though I've never seen them in use. Some go towards the pack house, the same direction as us. I pull Celeste closer to me in the chaos. 

'Alpha, there's rogues taking over the south west side of the pack. At least thirty, forty of them.'

'Send the first ranks there. I'll meet you there. Secure the other borders.'

'Yes, Alpha.'

'Was that part of the pack able to get to the bunkers?'

'Not everyone, Alpha. We're working on getting everyone there safely, Third ranks are on it.'

'Good.' I open the link to the guys. 'Josh, Jared; are your positions secured?'

Someone pushes past Celeste, pushing her closer to me. I can hear her heartbeat increasing. I pull her closer, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. We're maybe fifty yards from the pack house now. 

'Secured, Alpha. Stationed at the East border, on lookout but it's clearer over here.'

'Xavier,' Jared's voice hits me with a panic in it. 'I can't find Delian.'

"Fuck," I curse under my breath. Celeste looks up at me, our pace never stopping. 'Where was she this morning?'

'She went off to find Celeste this morning, at the pack house.'

'Celeste has been with me all morning. We weren't at the pack house.' 

"Xavier?" 

"Delian is missing." Her brows furrow. She can't use the mindlink yet, she's too young to have made the necessary connection with her wolf. "I'm hoping she's at the packhouse." I curse under my breath again. Celeste nods, a new determination in her steps. Twenty yards now. 'We'll find her, don't worry.' 

The crowd starts to thin as we get closer to the pack house. Yet I pull Celeste to me as we near the glass doors. "Go to my office and lock the door." She nods, coming to a halt and turning to me. 

"What about Delian?" 

"I'm sure she's somewhere in the packhouse. Jared said she went to see you this morning." Her eyes widen. 

"Then I need to go look for her." She pulls away from my hold. I grab her wrist, pulling her back to me. 

"No, you need to go to my office. Press the button on the bottom of my desk. It will deadbolt the door as well as the windows. And close the blinds."

"Xavier."

"Celeste." 

"If Delian went to find me then it's only right that I find her."

"If you get hurt then you can't help her. The only way for you to be safe is to stay here."

"I've been training," she protests. "I'll be fine."

"You haven't been training enough," I push back, probably a bit too harshly. She flinches, pulling out of my hold. I let her. "Celeste." I run a hand over my face. "I don't have time for this right now. Can you just -- go to my office? Wait for me there. Lock the door, press the button. I'll find Delian, okay?"

'Alpha,' Jacob's voice comes through. 

"Xavier, I-"

"Not now, Celeste." Her brows furrow and she studies me. "Please." I reach back for her hand, bringing her clenched fist to my lips. "Please?" She nods, turning to the glass doors. "Celeste!" She turns back to me. I didn't mean to call out. The words sit on the tip of my tongue. I bite them back. Not now. Not here. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

Her hand grabs the door handle. She nods but doesn't say anything else before she turns back and slips into the pack house. I run a hand through my hair. 

'Jacob, status report.'