48: I Don't Know

Lycer's POV

Every day. Every goddamn day.

I'll have just got Celestial back to me. Every day, she comes back to me with a slur in her words and a nausea I try to get her to breathe through. It doesn't always work; the smell of vomit and bile fills the air around us. We get maybe several statements out between the two of us before Malum and Christopher waltz through the door to the cell block. Christopher occasionally seems gleeful to do his assigned task. Celestial often cries. She always begs for him not to. For him to let her go. Sometimes he seems annoyed, angered even. He'll make quick work of extracting the wolfsbane and injecting her. In those times, he always grab her roughly. I can see the bruises formed on her arms from those moments, the exact shape of his hand in shades of browns and yellows. 

I have a feeling he and Malum don't hold the best working relationship. In his moments of rushed anger, Christopher will blow past him. Malum occasionally gives it no mind but I can sometimes find him shooting harsh looks or tapping his foot as he waits for Christopher to unlock Celestial's cell. Otherwise, he watches me. 

I've stopped begging. Stopped yelling. 

That's what they want. To see me helpless. To see me wanting. I refuse to give them that. 

For the moment, she's alive. And all I can hope is that her mate will find her, find Malum, before they can kill her. They will kill her. That much I feel certain of. If not on purpose, then by a slip of action as they don't have much restraint, if the scars on my own body say anything. 

She's sleeping now. They never gave her a mat or anything to sleep on. So I no longer sleep on mine. If I could fit it, I would shove mine through the bars and give it to her. If she could reach through I'd try. She can barely lift her arms still, her right more so, the injury in her shoulder seeming to cause her great pain. Her left arm is a bit better but still painful, she says. I thank the Goddess that they haven't repeated the actions from the first day. 

The experiments wander in and out. I break my rules of silence when it comes to them. Any time they get so much as near her cell, a growl rumbles its way through my chest. Despite the drugs in my system, they still heed the warning. They sneer still; back to throwing insults my way. I hate the way they look at her. Like she's a meal to eat or a ragdoll to throw around. They can throw as many insults they want at me but one peep about her and I'm at the bars. I've vowed that if I can get out of here then they will pay. 

"Lycer?" The door had squeaked open and shut. Someone really needed to oil that. 

My eyes drifted from where they were watching slow unsteady breaths in Celestial's chest to the door. Ian, the kinder of the experiments, shifted on his feet. 

"You didn't tell me." My words are cold. I look back to Celestial. 

"I didn't know." His steps get closer to where I am. "If I knew, I would have told you. Only a few of us were told and they were instructed to keep quiet about it until the plan came to fruition." I don't respond. His steps stop right outside of her cell. He looks at the lock. "I can let you in with her." Now my eyes find his, cold and fully grey. I never asked if his vision was all there and I wasn't very certain. He never really seemed as though it was impaired. "Just for a few minutes. They'll be coming by later to. . ."

"To drug her? Me?"

"Probably both." 

"Let me in." He nods, walking over to my cell and pulling the keys out of his pocket. Standing up, my legs and back ache. They always do, especially after they've tortured the living fuck out of me. My spine pops into place and I pop my shoulders, allowing them to do the same. 

The second he opens her cell, I'm barging through. Stepping past the corner of vomit, I scrunch my nose. There's dried blood in the middle of the floor to accompany it. "I'll get something to clean that up." I nod in thanks. 

My steps slow as I approach her, kneeling down. She's grown and yet, she's still the small girl I once knew. My hand hesitates to rest on her arm, avoiding the injury to her shoulder. 

"Celestial," I whisper, running my hand up and down her arm. 

"Xav-vier," she slurs, her head against the wall. She asks for him often, especially in her sleep. I hope to one day meet this man that's filled her heart. I just don't know how realistic that hope is. 

"No, I'm so sorry. But it's me. I'm here." Her eyes flutter then widen. 

"Lycer," she croaks. 

"Hey there." I give her a small smile. Her eyes drift around. 

"My head-"

"Yeah, I know. It's the wolfsbane. It'll get better with time." She nods. "I've missed you."

"I -- you too." Her words sound difficult to get out, like they're heavy on her tongue. 

"I'm so sorry. It's my fault you're here."

"Were. . . were. . . we-" she huffs, taking several deep breaths. 

"I don't know where we are," I confess. "Inside some mountain or cave or something, I'd assume." Her eyes trail around the rock walls and floor. "If I could just --" I click my tongue. "If I could get us outside. At night? Then I could read the stars."

"Xavier?"

I nod. "Yea, back to your mate would be safest." For the first time since she's come, I see a small smile break on her lips. I see her eyes shift, trying to make that connection again. "Please don't, Celestial." She stops. "It won't work with the wolfsbane in your system. You're just going to make yourself feel worse." I brush back some hair from her forehead. 

The door creaks back open. A light dragging sound accompanies the familiar footsteps. Ian comes through, hose in his hand. It's attached somewhere outside the door. "You're going to want to move. You can come out if you want." 

I give Celestial my hand, she hesitates before reaching up. Gasping, she quickly drops her arm, biting her lip. "Are you okay?" She nods, still biting her lip. She gives me her left hand instead and I help her to her feet. She wobbles, leaning into my side. "Go slowly." Her steps are slow and small but she manages to step outside of the cell. Ian turns on the hose and begins to clean the cell. 

My eyes drift to the partially open door. I know there are many passages out there filled with many experiments on guard. Yet my mind still swims with ways I could get Celestial out through there. My main issue is I don't know the passages. Anytime I'm taken out, they take me different ways to the same destination. I don't know how far outside is. Second issue being the experiments on guard. I know when they take me out, there's a decent few. Who knows how many are on the way to the exit. I'm sure more than I've personally seen. 

"Ian," I start. He turns the hose off, exiting the cell as he begins to loop the material in his hand. He eyes the door I'm still eyeing. Celestial leans heavily into my side now, her eyes closed. It's been so long since I had physical contact that wasn't immediately followed by a beating or some other kind of pain. I almost want to close my eyes. To bask in it. 

"I can't Lycer," he answers my unspoken question. "I have my own people to protect."

My eye twitches. "So you'll let her," I look at the small woman almost falling back asleep standing up against me, "suffer? You'll let them hurt her?"

"I don't know her," he dismisses. 

"No. But you know me." He says nothing, continuing to wrap the hose back up. "How long do we have?" 

He eyes her then the door. "I don't know. Malum doesn't tell me much of anything." I nod. Of course not. He keeps people in the dark; that's who he is. Until he feels them useful, everything he thinks will stay to himself. 

"I want to give her the mat." I nod over to the pathetic lump of fabric they gave me as a bed. He shakes his head. "It's the least you could do."

"I already help you more than any of the other experiments would ever." I say nothing because he's right. He brings me food and water more than I get from Malum's orders. He's letting me be with Celestial right now. 

"Please," I whisper. "It's what you would do for your sister." He sighs and I know I've won. 

"I don't like when you bring her up," he mumbles. He sets the hose down and goes to my cell to grab the mat. I eye the door again. 

"How is she?" The mat drags across the floor as he lugs it into her cell. I slightly worry for the water it might take on from the rinse he gave it. Luckily there's a drain in the middle of each cell. Luckily for this. I hate them in general. I think of the handful of times they've blasted me with the very hose Ian just used. I even got a cold at one point that I struggled to shake for what felt like months. Maybe it was months. . . 

"No better than usual. I hate what Malum did to us, if only for how it affected her." I hum. "She barely even talks to me, let alone recognizes me as her brother." 

"You could always leave." And take us with you. 

"You know that's not true." Probably not. "If we leave, we leave to a grave. That's the rules." He plops the mat down in her cell. "You two should probably go back now." He eyes the door. "I really don't know when they're coming." I nod. He holds open the door and I guide Celestial back to her cell. I help her to lay down on the mat. She hums, closing her eyes. "When was the last time they brought you two food?"

"I don't know. A while." I brush back her hair from her eyes. 

"Lycer?" Her voice is small but clearer. 

"Celestial?" My tone is slightly teasing, just trying to bring a smile to her face. It works, the corner of her lips lifting as she lets out a small huffed laugh. She says nothing after that.

"I'll see what I can do." I look back to Ian, giving him a small smile. 

"Thank you, Ian." He gives the smallest of smiles that quickly fades. 

I go to stand back up but her hand finds mine. Her eyes, always so wide, stare at me. There's a slight fear there. I squeeze her hand. "I'll be right over there." I nod towards my own cell.

"Don't let -- them," she struggles to say. 

"I'm so sorry, Celestial." I bring her hand to my lips, dropping it and standing up to my full height. 

"Lycer?" She tries to push herself up, succeeding with some difficulty. 

"I'll figure it out, okay?" The look she gives me breaks my heart. "I promise." The words feel bitter on my tongue. Will I? Can I? "How are you feeling?"

"Shit," she grumbles. "A lit-tle clerer no," she struggles to get out. 

"That's good," I assure her. 

"They're only giving her the wolfsbane to keep her from linking her mate." I figured. "Lycer, you should go back now." I nod, helping Celestial into a seated position and squeezing her hands in mine. 

"I'm right over there," I remind her. "I'm not going anywhere." 

She whispers just as our hands separate, "Thank you." I walk back to my cell, a weight having both grown on my shoulders and also lightened in my heart. 

"Thank you, Ian." He nods as he closes me back in my cell. 

"I'm going to go find you two some food. She looks thinner than when they brought her here." 

"How long has she been here?"

"A week? Maybe a little more?" I nod. They've only brought us food a few times. She must be hungrier than I thought yet she hasn't said a thing. 

"Thank you," I repeat. He nods awkwardly and leaves the cell block. 

I lean against the bars. Celestial leans against the wall. 

The door slams. My shoulders square. Malum's steps and a few others echo through the room. Malum steps in front of my cell, three experiments on his heel. He eyes me up and down before glancing at Celestial in the other cell. "Who was on rotation this morning?"

"Ian, sir," one of the experiments say monotonous. 

"Hm." He turns back to me. "Remind me to have a word with him later about opening the cells," he says lowly. 

I say nothing to this. But Celestial. . . "Leeavve hem," she murmurs. 

He turns back to her with a chuckle. With a snap of his fingers, the keys are in his hand. I'm back at the bars. Celestial shuffles back into the corner as far as she can but he's already in her cell. He crouches down in front of her, putting a hand on her cheek . She flinches, closing her eyes as he runs a thumb over her cheek. "You think you matter?" He tilts his head, continuing to stroke her cheek. He stands back up. My hands are hurting from how tightly I'm gripping the bars now. "Grab her."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Two of the experiments take his place in the cell as he steps back towards me. He merely watches as I stand and the experiments grab a pleading Celestial. 

"Lycer! Lycer!" She pleads and pleads as they yank her up. One of them digs its grubby fingers into the wound on her shoulder. She lets out a yelp as the blood begins to flow for the first time in awhile. 

"Let her go," I spit the words. 

"Where is your father, Lycer?"

I glare at him. 

He snaps his fingers. The experiment with his hands on her injured shoulder digs two of his fingers straight into the wound. The scream she lets out is harsh. 

"I don't know!" I yell past the screaming. "You fucking know that!" She's still screaming. Her knees have buckled as she gives way to the pain. She pleads my name every few seconds and I tune out my bond to her, already too overwhelmed with her external pain. "Fucking bastard!"

"If I remember correctly, you're the bastard here." He snaps and the screams turn to gasps. 

"I don't know where the fuck my father is!"

"And the other lycans?" I stay quiet, nostrils flaring. He snaps and she screams again.This time the experiment had pulled out a knife. Just a little pocket knife but he had it wedged into the existing wound on her shoulder. 

"Fuck! I don't know!" He watches me, not saying a thing. 

"Lycer!" She begins to cry. The experiment twists the knife counterclockwise as she begs it to stop. 

"I don't fucking know! Europe! America! Asia!" He snaps. My teeth are clenched. I sneer, "I haven't seen those fuckers since I last saw my father more than 60 years ago. They're all gone to the wind now."

He tilts his head, a smirk crossing his features. "Now was that so hard?" 

"Fuck you," I spit. 

"How do you contact your father? A bond?" He holds up his fingers, showing he's ready to start back his experiments. The knife is still lodged in her shoulder. She bites her lip so hard that blood is now trailing down her chin. Her eyes find mine, a desperate look in them. 

"I don't."

"Now why don't I believe that?" He snaps again and the experiment twists the knife clockwise. She doesn't scream this time but her tears fall hard, her teeth sinking harder into her lip. 

"I don't! I fucking don't! Fuck you!"

He snaps again, giving a 'hm.' "You don't appear to be lying."

"I'm not! Fuck you!" He says nothing. There's a distinct sound of the knife being ripped out of Celestial's shoulder followed by her gasp. 

"That's all for today, boys." He turns back to them. "Give her the wolfsbane but leave him be. I have plans for him tomorrow." He gives me a smirk over his shoulder. He can torture me all he wants but this? Hurting Celestial? For that, I'll make sure he pays. He turns on his heel, walking down the cell block with a whistle. 

Celestial begins to plead again as a needle is prepared by one of the experiments. "Celestial, Celestial." She just stares at the syringe being filled, pleas accompanying shakes of her head. "Celestial! It'll be okay! It's okay!" The one who had stabbed her inserts the needle into her arm. If it were any brighter in here, I'm sure I'd be able to see the shitty way it improperly goes into her skin. She's fighting. I'm both proud of her and worried. She's going to hurt herself further. Her fighting stops as the wolfsbane enters her system, her pleas getting quieter and less frequent. They practically throw her to the ground. They leave, exiting her cell with a loud slam. "I'll kill you for this," I sneer as they walk away. They don't respond and the door creaks shut behind them.