Happily ever after

I lay on the hospital bed, my eyes closed as I took deep breaths through the nasal cannula. It had been so long since my glory days- now I was nothing but an old woman, living in the past and missing all my friends and family. My time had passed, I had lived a happy life- I was in a beautiful hospice now, with plenty of care and visits from my children and grandchildren. They all loved me dearly and I loved them just as dearly, loving watching them grow and thrive in their own families. I had spoiled my grandchildren plenty, but I never spoiled them rotten. Grandma was all of their favorites, of course- I wouldn't settle for anything for less, but my secret to earning their endless love? My secret recipe for chewy chocolate chip chunky cookies. The thought of their big smiles when they bit into one made me crack a small smile- oh, how I loved them all. It was hard, really- Suna barely got to know his grandchildren, having gotten into a car crash at the age of 53. It had broken my heart, curled into his side with millions of tears in my eyes, whispering our never ending love to each other with his last breaths. I had cried for weeks after that, my heart aching with unforetold pain.

Suna had admitted to me at one point that he didn't want to grow old, to watch his body deteriorate and fail him- I took a small comfort in that, but it hardly helped. I forever lost a part of my soul that day, watching his last breath and knowing I had lost him. I was lucky to even say goodbye, I knew it- but it had so much to let those words slip past my lips. It even made my lip tremble in these moments, a tear slipping down my cheek at the thought of losing him. I had never been the same- of course, I still had Kuroo, Kozu and our children after that- but nothing could take away the hole, the pain that had been left in my heart. It took months before I could smile again, years before I could laugh and even longer before I could even accept that he was gone. Having been able to be held in his arms, his love for me and all of us on his lips as he slipped away, surrounded by the love and support of our family… it was a good death, though uncalled for. I would have traded anything for him back in those days, but nothing could ever bring him back. With a heavy heart and an even heavier mind… I was able to place a flower in his casket and toss a handful of dirt into his grave, saying my final goodbye with love.

Kozu and Kuroo had really stepped up in those moments, offering me comfort and accommodating me all they could. I knew they were hurting just as much as me- after all, Suna had been one of us. We had raised our children together, been there for the births of each other's grandchildren and always supported one another. It left a hole in our lives for all of us and while I tried to be strong… I really broke down a lot. Years passed and that hole was never filled, though I was able to live with it. Kozu had been next- he had caught a fever when he was 67, one he couldn't seem to shake. I had been curled into his side when he left, whispering our love and past to each other when he finally let go. It hurt just as much as the first, leaving me broken for the second time- and I had cried for weeks again, ached for months and mourned for years. He had been surrounded by our family, loved and departed peacefully in my arms, holding me tightly. Kuroo and I both hadn't been the same since then, us being the two left behind. We still loved, we took great comfort in each other and had lived many years together. I was able to hang on to a small piece of my heart, in the end- the part he owned.

"You still with me, Kitten?" Kuroo croaks and I slowly open my eyes, looking over to my left. "I am." I say softly and he hums- he was looking at me with those loving, adoring golden eyes. "What are you thinking?" Kuroo asks and I press my lips together, another tear sliding down my cheek. "Life, really… Suna, Kozu… you. Our children, our family…" I admit, Kuroo humming softly as he looks up at the ceiling. "We had a good life, didn't we?" Kuroo asks and I look up at the ceiling, sniffing lightly. "Yeah, we did…" I croak, my tongue feeling thick with all the emotions I was feeling. "I only have one regret." Kuroo admits softly and I look over, seeing him looking at me again. "That you couldn't be in my arms right now, so I could comfort you." Kuroo says, making me smile as I choke up a bit. I slowly pull my frail body up with a trembling, deep breath- I pull off my cannula, sliding off of my bed. It takes all of my strength to walk to his bed side and crawl on, curling into his side. He wraps his arm around me, giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead as he gently rubs my shoulder. "That's better- it's okay, Kitten." Kuroo says, making me smile as I feel the emotions flowing through me.

"I love you, Kurooster." I whisper on a trembling breath, tears flowing down my face as I cling tightly to him. "I love you too, Kitten." Kuroo chuckles softly, sharing a soft kiss with me as I feel my chest thicken with emotions. "Kuroo… I'm scared." I admit softly and he hums, his other hand sliding to my hip and gently caressing it. "I… I'm scared that you'll go first. I'm scared that I'll be left alone with a broken heart and no one that could really soothe it. I'm scared that out of all of us, I'll have to say goodbye and be left broken again… and I'll be alone. I don't want to be alone- I really don't. I don't want to die alone, I don't want to be left behind… but I don't want to wish that upon you, either." I whisper and he's quiet for a moment, gently caressing me as he takes a deep breath. "No matter who goes first, Kitten- I'll still be by your side. I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. No matter when or where… when your time comes, I'll be there. If you go first, then… I won't be long to follow. We'll go together- after all, you're the love of my life, my one and only. Without Kimiko Suzuki… Tetsuro Kuroo will simply cease to exist." Kuroo says, gently laying his forehead against mine.

"I remember the moment I first saw you- I knew then that you had to be mine till the end of our lives. I wasn't wrong, either- if you're scared… don't be, for my sake. I know that it'll hurt, I know that you'll be left with nothing but tears… but I'll be waiting. I'll still be by your side, in your heart- it's not goodbye, my love. It's simply 'I'll see you when I get there'." Kuroo says and I let out a soft sob as I cling to his chest. "I know, I do- I've just… it's always been my fear, you know? I don't… I don't want to be last…" I whisper, though Kuroo gently caresses my cheek, giving me the softest, sweetest kiss. "I know, my love… but… take a deep breath, relax…" Kuroo whispers and I take in a shuddered breath, slowly letting it go. I curl tightly in his arms, clinging desperately to his heat and slowly relaxing. "It's okay if you let go, you know? Just… think of all the love, think of all of our time together and just… let go. I won't be long after you, I promise. We can go together, thinking of all the good times and… we can see the others. They're probably waiting for us, you know?" Kuroo says and I sniff softly- I feel it deep down in my bones, an old, familiar feeling as I let out a soft, shuddering breath.

"I… I love you, Tetsuro Kuroo." I whisper, slowly leaning up and giving him a soft kiss, pouring in all of my love as he holds me close. "I love you too, Kimiko Suzuki." He whispers, kissing me back and giving me all of his gentle love and affection- we kiss the whole time as I feel the feeling settling in, a slow peace coming over as he soothes my soul. I think- I think of everything and everyone, all the happiness they've given me, all of the love I've given and been given. I think of all the good and bad I've done, all the things I've felt and all the feelings I've caused. I feel it all with Kuroo- like floodgates we open up to each other one more time, sharing our lives and love with each other. My fear, my insecurities, my love and passion- he soothes it all with his heat, washing it all away and just leaving love. I could feel his fear and insecurities, too- more than anything in the world I could take them away, that I could sooth them and give him the peace he was giving me. I wrap my arms fully around him, gently deepening the kiss and feeling him slowly relax. The slow numb feeling comes, taking over as I slowly feel myself fading away- and I let go, feeling Kuroo do the same.

My life flashes before my eyes, all the good and bad that I've ever done on display. It happens in the flash of a second, followed by a white light. Suddenly I'm on a cloud, standing before a podium with a man behind it. "Kimiko Suzuki- wow, you've had quite the life." The man says as I glance around, confused- I was just at the hospital, wasn't I? Where was this place? Where was Kuroo? "I see… your childhood was quite exciting… there was a bad moment in your youth, however. But… after a while you softened out, you even became a great person." The man says, confusing me as I look back up at him. "Oh, wow. You've done a lot of good as an adult- donating your salary to charity, helping those in need, donating your eggs… You were loved, adored and treasured by many, you loved and adored your children and grandchildren… very admirable." The man says, flipping to the next page and sighing softly. "Unfortunately, you did that one bad- even in the circumstances… killing another is unforgivable." The man says and I swallow thickly, feeling a lump in my throat. "If I may, sir…" I say and he hums, lifting his head to look at me- and I feel like he's staring into the depths of my soul.

"I am dead, correct?" I ask and he nods his head, slowly closing the book. "I am destined for hell." I ask and he nods, pushing the book to the side. "May… May I make a request?" I ask with a trembling voice, tears gathering in my eyes- but nothing comes. "You may ask." he concedes and I take a deep breath, looking up- a beautiful, clear blue sky. "I know my loved ones are beyond that gate, I know I'm not allowed to see them as I am destined for… eternity alone… but… With all of my life and sincerity, I wish to thank god for giving me… for giving me everything he has given me, for giving me a good life and… I don't expect him to see me, but if perhaps you could pass on word that I am forever grateful for what he's done for me… for giving me the loves of my life, my children, my wonderful family and friends… I wish to thank him for bringing them to life, for blessing me with them and… just… thanks." I say, the man humming softly as he sets his hand on the podium. "You are a peculiar soul, indeed." The man mutters before taking the phone to the side, lifting it to his ear. "Hello, sir- Kimiko Suzuki would like to personally thank you." The man says, slowly nodding his head as he hums softly.

"Well… it looks like you get your chance, Mrs. Suzuki. I'll guide you." The man says as he sets the phone down, gesturing his hand to the big golden gate behind him. I bow my head, quickly following after him as he guides me through. I keep my head bowed in respect, hearing soft whispers and seeing people around though I don't dare look at them. I didn't deserve that- I was damned, after all. I didn't want to disgust or defile them by casting my gaze on them. They were in paradise for eternity- who was I to stop and envy them when I had a good life? I committed a sin, I was to pay the price and it was simple as that. It was too late to repent- I could never take that back. "Pudding?" I hear a soft whisper over the crowd, my non-existent breath catching as I feel my heart soar- it made me so happy to know he was here. It did. My lips curl into a relieved smile, my eyes shutting as I feel a little piece of me at peace- I had cut our bond long ago, when I had abandoned those powers. "Almost there." The man says and I nod, quickly catching up with him as I feel a soft warmth settle over me. Was this the power and comfort of God? Could you really feel it at this distance?

We walk for a while longer before the man stops- "Kimiko Suzuki." A powerful voice says and I crumble to my knees, prostrating myself as I feel a lump in my throat. How could I speak? How could I even express this? Did I dare let my words find his ears? "I know what you want to say, child. I've seen and heard it all." The voice says and I feel my whole being tremble before him, not knowing what to say or do. "Raise yourself, child." He says and I slowly stand up, keeping my gaze on the ground. "Raise your eyes." He says and I swallow thickly, lifting my gaze up to him. When they say he glowed with glory, they weren't kidding. I couldn't even see him past the brilliant glow- must be something only the blessed could see. "Speak what you wish to say." He says and I suddenly feel the lump and worries go away- "Thank you. Thank you for everything- thank you for giving me my friends, my family, my life- I will forever be grateful for the many blessings you have given me, even though I am damned. Thank you for giving me love and letting me love, for letting me come here and tell you this personally. I can go in peace, now." I say, the glorious glowing man standing before me listening to it all.

"My children tell me a lot about you, Kimiko." He says and I can't help but give him a halfhearted smile, feeling myself soften. "They tell me all the good you've done, how your heart and soul is pure and passionate." He says, fully turning to face me- the warmth he emitted was a lot. "But we both know why you do not belong here, Kimiko." He says and my smile falls as I nod my head. "Because I commited murder, I am damned for eternity, my lord. I know this, I hold no shame. I will pay the price." I whisper and he hums, though a familiar voice pipes up. "Bullshit! You've saved more than you've killed- besides, he deserved it." A familiar voice says, making me laugh at the familiar voice of my closest, dearest friend. "And if she had not, I would have." Another familiar voice says, though I dare not look at them- I was just glad they made it here. "If she is damned- well… So am I, my lord. I will accept her punishment as my own." Judas says, my heart filling with so many emotions- "Me too!" Multiple voices sound in, though I quickly shake my head. "It is my sin and my sin alone. I will not allow you to damn yourselves." I say firmly, looking straight up at the lord himself.

"It is my sin and my sin alone. I accept my fate and I'll pay the price for it- alone. I hoped to make amends, I lived my life knowing my sin and hoping that my actions would repent it- but I didn't do it for salvation, because I do not deserve salvation. I do not regret my sin for many reasons- but mostly for the opportunity of the life and people I met and that it made it all possible. I saved my friend from damnation, I avenged my sister and I will gladly pay the price. I lived my life with no regrets, except one- that I will not get to spend eternity with the ones I love, but that is the price I pay." I say firmly, God humming softly as the guy from before flips through the book he held. "Um, sir…" The guy whispers, pointing to the book as God chuckles, nodding his head. "But you have already paid the price, Kimiko Suzuki." God says, confusing me as I furrow my eyebrows. "I'm sorry, what?" I ask and he points to the book as the guy holds it out to me. "This isn't the first time you've died- you've paid your price and you've more than earned your salvation. Welcome to heaven, Kimiko Suzuki- You're here to stay." God says and I jerk my head back, completely flabbergasted-

"Kuroo?" I ask in a trembling voice as God gestures behind me- I quickly flip around, seeing Kuroo standing there with a wide smile on his face. "I told you we'd go there together, Kitten." He says as he opens his arms out to me- I sob, jumping into his arms and holding him tight. I never felt so good in my life- "Finally, no offense, God, but heaven was boring without you, Sunshine." Suna says as I feel more arms wrapping around me- they- they were all here. "Pudding!" Kozu says as he crashes into us, making me laugh- we were all here! We were- oh, thank God. "You're welcome." God muses, making me laugh as I feel whole again- I was complete. "Can I please get in on this?" My father asks, making me choke as I quickly dash over and dive into his arms. "Daddy! Oh my gosh, I- you wouldn't believe it!" I say, though he wraps me up in a tight hug. "I know, Kiddo. I've seen and heard it all- after all…" My dad chuckles, gently pulling me back as I see my mother there. "You had some wonderful grandchildren, baby. Absolutely adorable." My mom says, opening up her arms as I dash over. "Yeah, they were pretty dang cute." Ukai says, making me laugh- they were all here.