Chapter 45 Explanation_1

Zhang Zhentian didn't go straight home after leaving Xia Jing's place; instead, he sneaked off to drink. He drank glass after glass, finishing bottle after bottle, as if he could never get drunk no matter how much he consumed. The pain in his heart was unbearable. He was angry but also felt helpless. When Xia Jing said those things, he was so furious he wanted to hit her. Still, he ended up just scolding Xia Jing and didn't lay a hand on her. He couldn't bear to, even though many times he knew she was being unreasonable, knew she couldn't let go of her pride, yet he still loved Xia Jing. He couldn't bear to see her suffer the slightest grievance, but sometimes his patience would run out, and he would lash out at her. After every outburst, he would be overcome with regret.

With glass after glass, Zhang Zhentian wondered: Xia Jing, oh Xia Jing, how should I treat you to be right? I can't bear to hit you, but when I give in to you at every turn, you never seem to restrain yourself...