Lost souls: Improving to triumph
Author: To_not_lose
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'Why...? why!why!why!why!why!why why!why!why!why!why!why!why!why!why!why!why!why!why!?'
Familiar pain coursed through Veren's body, causing his eyes to turn bloodshot.
A devilish mask adorned Veren's face, as if laughing at his pain.
Being reborn to the world of a novel named - 'The Rise of the holy empire'.
Veren found an unremovable mask on his face, which belonged to a familiar God. which made him doubt whether his rebirth was as simple as it appears.
Furthermore, it seems his fate to attract misfortune hadn't gone away.
......
The image used in this novel doesn't belong to me. If the owner wants to take it down, please comment.
(Author note: For the readers who are not interested in the MC's past, start reading from chapter 5.)
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لماذا اقفلت الفصول بهذه السرعه لقد كنت اريد ان اقرأ فصولا أكثر ولكن ليس معي عملات وبعدين هذه روايه جديده انت تريد أن يكون لها متابعون فلماذا اقفلت الفصول
I think the author needs to explain more. On that note, if you're a fan of a fantasy, realistic, slice of life story, then 'Just like a dream' is definitely a book you should read. Go ahead and try it, you'll definitely love it
I have only read upto ch 14. Thus, these are just some of my suggestions and first time thoughts. 1. The Story is well better than most isekai stories present on this platform(I expect nothing less from a lovecraftian story) 2. The world has not been introduced much yet and I expect it to be above average. 3. The writing quality is below average but there are not many grammatical errors. It is really simple and feels like it is thrown right to your face. I suggest you try to explain some of the scenes more vividly using examples and add more impact using vocabulary( use in moderation ) 4. It's been 14 chapters and yet I have no idea, how the mc's room look like. Try to explain the background more. It will increase your word count. 5. You can also add some philosophical ideas here and there to increase the word count. If you work on some parts, it can turn into a pretty good novel. I can guarantee it and please don't drop it
When reading this novel, I had a huge number of negative emotions, I am not saying anything more specific, because the author, like others before him, will write to me that my criticism is not constructive, or will insult me in response. There would be no problem if you did not put #злодей, because I did not read this, if I did not read this mood of mine would not be spoiled, and accordingly there would not be such a review. (if anything, this is a hint that you need to remove the #villain, and add that the MC is a sissy with a traumatic experience, I was always sick of such a tycoon).