"Don't deny it. You want it." Killian said to me, stroking the nape of my neck with his thumb. His face is so close to mine and I forgot to breathe. I gasped when he pushed my dress higher, revealing my thighs to him and let his hands rest between my thighs. 

I tilted my head to the side to avoid his lustful gaze, penetrating deep into my soul. 

"Your body craves it." He said, firing kisses down my neck till his lips touched my hard, naked nipples. That sent shivers down my spine. My body erupted with goosebumps and I exhaled sharply. I want to speak, but I can't. He has that much effect on me. His tongue played with my nipples and I mewled. That felt so good. 

"You want me as much as I want you." He whispered with his lips pressed on my skin. I shouldn't be doing this. I know I should stay away from this man but how can I when he invades my thoughts daily? When he's the only one my body wants. It's frustrating because no matter how hard I try, I can't say no to him. And I am this close to making the worst mistake of my life. I swallowed, trying to fathom the words out.His fingers brushed my core and I jerked forward, pressing my body on his. 

"I don't want you." 

"You're lying." He said, playing with the strap of my thong with a lazy finger. My eyes rolled back in my socket with pleasure. I am lying but he's making it so hard.

"We shouldn't be doing this, Killian." Killian? Do I really have the right to call him that? 

"Give me one reason why and I won't touch you."

"Because you're my best friend's Fiance."

SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ

Nothing seems interesting. Each day, I’m getting closer and closer to losing my mind yet I’m trying to get my act together. 


No one really talks about how overwhelming it is to have to hide a part of you you’d love to talk about so much. How miserable keeping to yourself actually is. It’s saddening, hoping someone would be your shoulder to lean on but realising you’re all alone in this, having to fight it yourself. 


It’s not new that I’m being threatened and going through the worst break up in my life. These past three days, today included, has made me realise that wearing the depressed face on does not matter when you can’t utter a word, so I try to appear as sane even when I’m not. Nothing is sane around me and I can’t even deny it. 


CHAPTER 176