CHAPTER 8 (THEN)

There's a country song that goes something like, "Heaven, something..." 

…,by a guy named, what's his goddamn name, Kane Brown or something like that. 

Anyway, two weeks had passed, and guess what? 

I had already asked Kate out on a date, a real one. 

It seemed like she was interested in me, but maybe she was just playing her girly games. My thinking though.

Anyway, Billy was pretty mad about his damn car, but that didn't matter much to me because on that Sunday, I really did enjoy watching Kate do her cheerleading routine. 

That memory is what keeps me awake at night after I leave her room. 

Yes, I visit her every damn evening after my classes and I have the clip of that day's cheerleading. 

First, I need to know what she's doing and how her day was.., reason for visiting her daily. A phone call is never enough. I wonder what kind of love grows just from text messages.

I always buy her her, favorite ice cream. 

The first day, I bought her something random. 

Apparently, it wasn't her favorite, but what got me was that she accepted it anyway. Her favorite flavor is vanilla, with strawberry being the second favorite. I bought chocolate flavor or something; I wasn't sure if it was always branded, so I apologized a thousand times for that. I was just nervous, anyway. 

However she wasn't like the queen bee who would rant for twenty minutes about how I should know her favorite flavor just like she knows my favorite color. Or like her weird friend who would back her up, saying that's why I'm single because I can't remember important things about my girl. Now, if they know I have someone, those two beautiful girls will be so jealous…, hell jealous.

But note this, I had distanced myself from the queen bee. I dared not desire Kate... oh, I called her Kate. Kate is a beautiful name, isn't it? Yes, answer yes. Anyway, I dared not entertain the queen bee because, first, I desired Kate not thinkingthat we had something and second, as I mentioned earlier, she had started making unwanted advances. My interest in her was barely there, if not the least of my concerns. Saying "least" implied she was still a thought, no, she was barely even on the list. The only girl I wanted to really speak to was this... this Kate.

So, I write because today is the date... the real date. 

I wanted to wear something casual yet expensive. 

So, beige trousers made of high-quality material, white sneakers... I barely wore them anyway, they seemed too good to wear for a medicine class because as of now, practicals were more common than any theoretical classes. A white shirt, and a black hoodie just in case…, in case she is cold.

I locked my room, ensuring my wallet was hefty, and headed to the outside of her room. Hell, I was nervous.

Ta, ta, ta... I was nervous. 

I couldn't even knock. 

She might still be deciding. 

I just couldn't knock, so I waited outside. 

The click of the door, the opening of the door, and there she was. 

She was there, guys. 

Damn, she was there. 

I'd love to state all the amusements but anyway.., she was….,

Not dressed. 

Bruh, what the heck? It was a freaking something… it was a date.. you forgot or what? My mind raced and asked questions that dared not to come out of my mouth.

"You look good," she stated.

"Oooh..." was all I managed to say. I couldn't let my mouth speak what my mind was stating. I'd say a lot of disrespectful words, like 

"bruh, we had a deal," 

"what the heck, you ain't even dressed?" 

"what's wrong with you? 

I've been thinking about this forever, and you're wearing a random t-shirt and some sweats; 

you look more like a bro."

"Where are we going?" she asked, and I just eyed her. This was a waste of an outfit; she should have told me to wear anything. "Don't men bring women something to wear for a date? Isn't that how it should be?" she added, maybe realizing that I was taken aback by the way she was dressed. "But I forgive you for that. Next time, just be a good date," she finished and smiled.

Damn... yeah... the movies. I thought love in the movies was a bit off, and this was a first date. She should have at least worn a tennis skirt; make an effort. 

The only effort was her well-done makeup and hair; she was a ten in that, but the sweats and t-shirt weren't as bad; she still looked good…, anyway.

"Am I overdressed? Should I change into something more casual?" I asked. If it was going to be more casual and simple, then I had sweats too, but this would feel more like a movie night.

"No... you look just elegant. You took your time to shave... how beautiful," she added.

"Okay... should we leave?" I asked. I had borrowed Billy's car again; we had started hanging out and being buddies. I didn't tell him who I was going out with; it was wrong to tell men about your date. They always had ideas, not cool, and I would never do such a thing. But I knew they would; they really would,

Anyway, I led her to the car steadily, opened the door as the gentleman I was needed to be, and entered my door right after making sure she was comfortable.

"Are you mad?" she asked as I started the car.

"No," I stated with a smile. 

I would say I was mad, but anyway, I was with her, and that was all that mattered. 

But she should have made an effort anyway, even though I had brought her no dress. I just... I just, anyway, I really did not... what am I saying? 

Anyway, let me focus on this date. I wish not to be mad.

The hotel was quiet, with little dim light and some jazz music. I wanted it to be an elegant date; I really did. 

I was the type of man who envisioned perfection in everything I did, and I just wanted to provide perfection in this, even though it was perfection on my side.

She ordered her set of food, as I just requested some Italian spicy meat and a coke. I was no drinker, and I knew she was, so I just ordered whisky for her.

"Zen, why don't you drink?" she asked after an icy silence. Yes, she knew my name, but stated it was long... 'Hayzen..., Hayzeyyy..., Zen..., I love Zen,' was what she stated, and I loved the nickname too, Zen. Cute.

"No, there is nothing to drink about," I stated.

"Or is it about taking care of your health... you are learning to be a medical practitioner in future.., at some point?" she stated. I never expected the date to start off with career things, but anyway, I was taken aback by her dressing that I had no idea what to expect of her. Most women would go the extra mile when asked for a date. I just felt heartbroken, like I did not do enough to make her see me. If she wore a tennis skirt for a goddamn tournament, what would she gain if she wore the same for me? Am I not worth being dressed up for? I dressed up for her.

"...Zen??" She stated again, but I had already zoned out.

"Yeah, yeah... health issues," I lied. I don't know, I was feeling uneasy, I was mad at her... anyway, that's how I get when I'm conflicted... but I needed to enjoy the day and the date. I had waited for this; I needed to enjoy it.

"So, what do you think about this?" I asked. "I mean... I asked you out, and I've been visiting... what are your thoughts?" I added, feeling my breath becoming heavy. One thing I feared most was rejection, and according to me, I figured this girl had rejected quite a number of men. And if it meant rejecting me, I would be somewhere not even in the least of her concerns. I hated rejection, I really did.

"We're hanging out," she stated. 

I wanted to ask if we were hanging out as friends, or if she wanted more, but I just kept quiet. I didn't want to overload her with my desires for a relationship. 

But note, I wanted to know her feelings towards me. I once wasted my time chasing around a woman who saw me as nothing but a friend. However, that was my fault since first, I didn't engage or directly tell her I wanted her. The thing was, I wanted her to like me first before I told her I liked her. I feel it's worse when you overwhelm a girl with "I like you" and "I want you" on the first date. This means it might not last... or it might end as fast as it started.

"We're hanging out," my head replayed... hanging out... hanging out.

"Do you hang out with other boys who are like me?" I asked. 

I wanted to state if she hung out with boys who were just friends, but I felt like that meant I was putting myself in the friend zone. Not cute. I needed to run away from the friend zone as fast as possible.

"And who are you like?" she asked as I saw her finish off her whiskey, and I asked for another for her.

"I am... umm... I am... how do you like the food?" I asked, changing the topic. I didn't want to scare her away, and again, I had no idea what I was saying. 

I was really nervous; 

I really was. 

I had thought of this day, 

I had dreamt of it, if not awake.

"What I mean is... I'm into you, Kate... I'm into you," I stated, brushing off everything I said earlier and laying down all my feelings. I needed to really tell her this, for her not to have any ideas of friendzoning me.

"When you called me Zen, I liked it. 

When you grabbed my leg, I was scared, but I liked it. 

When you accepted this, I liked it. 

I love everything about you... 

You don't have to feel any pressure. 

I shall be waiting for an answer. 

Waiting is damned, but I wanted you to have an idea...

 the reason why I brought you here... you know."

I stated these things with pauses and observation, and she just looked at me with those angelic eyes and smiled a bit. 

My heart pounded a million times, attacking while defending, the best tactic a man would use for a woman. 

And this was better than a tactic. 

And I refer back to the artist; 

heaven could never be better than this.