A Mother's Misfortune...
Devi Kripi's P.O.V,
(A day before present)
I am Kripi, the wife of one of the greatest warriors among the Brahmin, Shri Drona. I am also known as the adopted daughter of late emperor Shri Shantanu of Hastinapur with my Agraja ( Big brother) Kripacharya-the council member of Hastinapur.
When my brother married me to my Parmeshwar (God) Shri Drona, I was overjoyed and gave him the same place as that of the supreme god.
Despite the years of poverty, I was not bothered by it. As a brahmin, It is only natural to live on alms. Even when we didn't have a child... My husband impressed Lord Shiva to get us a great son, whom we named, Aswatthama.
At that time, I wasn't bothered by not being able to feel the joy of being a mother by giving birth to a child, It is the thinking of wretched beings.
To acquire a child from the blessing of Lord Shiva gave me the ultimate pleasure. How many mothers are so-blessed to take care of a child like my son-a partial incarnation of Lord Shiva?
Not many, right?
So, as a mother, I completed my duties to the best of my abilities. Despite our poor conditions, Me and My respected husband tried to give our celestial child everything we can!
Though, due to the shining blue gem adorned on the forehead of our dear child, he does not feel hungry or thirsty. Furthermore, he is unaffected by any disease, providing us with supreme joy for his welfare.
Although, enshrouded by poverty, we were living with a little bit of joy as we observed the growth of our kind child.
Until....
This afternoon, I saw my beloved child, who was playing with his friends. Having just finished my chores and My respected husband had left for work, I decided to observe him from afar.
He was enjoying his game with other children from the Ashram, before one of the children's mothers came and took him away by pulling his ears.
It was nothing serious, She just wanted to feed him some milk but the little child sneaked away before she could.
Half an hour later,
That little kid came back running and joined the play. When the game finished, those children decided to rest a bit before resuming their game of catch.
As they were getting bored by simply resting, Soma, one of the child asked the naughty kid named Kalpesh, "Kalpesh, why did your Maa take you back?"
"It's nothing serious. To arrive early today, I skipped milk and sneaked behind her back." Kalpesh replied.
Hearing this another kid said, "Kalpesh, how can you do that?"
"Were you scolded my Chachi (Aunt)?"
...
While sitting on the platform made of mud, Chabutra, the children chatted for a while before my precious child said something that almost brought me to tears, "Is milk a dish?"
The group of children looked incredulously at my child as they couldn't believe their ears!
After recovering from their shock, they attacked my child with their barrage of questions!
"Ashwathama! You don't know what milk is???"
"Don't you know milk is sooooo delicious?"
"Aswatthama, haven't you seen milk?"
...
I know...
Those naïve children did not mean any harm, they were just expressing whatever came into their mind...
HOWEVER! Their every question made me think about our poverty!
For the first time in my life, I doubted my husband! I doubted our capabilities as parents!
When my lovely child was unable to reply to the questions asked, I felt my heart-breaking into many pieces...
The mother inside me waged war against the wife! When sadness c-covered my child's face, I wanted nothing more than to provide my son with some milk!
Thinking that, I hurried back home. I headed straight to the kitchen to find any amount of milk for my child!
I wanted to treat my dear child with some milk...
I just wanted to bring back the previous smile on his face...
Sadly, even after rummaging through the whole house, I couldn't find milk or anything that can be traded with milk...
Thinking of my child's downcast expression when he will return...
For a moment, I thought to mix some rice flour in water and present it as milk...
However, how can I deceive my child! I can never do something like this!
If Arya saw this, he would be very sad...
In the end, I couldn't do anything more than wait for my d-dear child... when he will return... he will ask for m-milk...
Something I couldn't give him...
Having nothing to do, I prayed to Lord Shiva so that Arya will get some milk as Alms, at-least for today...
...
In the Evening,
When Arya returned, I eagerly observed Arya to find any milk on him, Unfortunately, he didn't have it....
"Devi, The home's that I want to ask for alms today, were of farmers. They gave me two bowls of wheat and a glass of rice."
Arya said that as he left to wash himself and perform evening reciting of prayers along with other Brahmin, not daring to face me as aware of our poor conditions.
As he left, I silently provided everything he needs and saw him to the door. When I saw that his back had disappeared from my view, I went inside the hut and wept in silent...
Unsure how to face my child...
...
"Maa, I have returned!"
"Devi, I have returned!"
Two hours later, after the sunset, Chandra dev slowly rose in the sky. Following which, Arya and Our Child returned together.
Much to my confusion, Our son didn't even mention anything related to milk, unlike curious nature. Instead, He gladly played with Arya.
Because of the fear of taking away his smile, I didn't mention anything and served him two plates of salted rice, 10 chapatis (Roti), two mango pickles and water. Emptying every grain in our house...
Arya and Our Son ate the food without complaining about the bland food or lack of spices. After eating their fill, there were four chapatis left for me.
Deliberately left by Arya and Ashwatthama, to let me fill my belly...
Their warm act did nothing more than bring my tears outside, whom I forcefully stopped. I really don't want to worry Arya anymore.
When our son went to sleep beside our bed sheet, on the ground beside us, I laid beside Arya and forcefully closed my eyes.
Despite the smile on Ashwatthama's face, How can I not feel his inner turmoil?
Thinking about our situation, I was lost in self-doubt and self-denial...
O' great lord Shiva...
Show me the right way...