Nightmares

Jessamyn was sitting while hugging her knees on the bed. She glared at the maid in front of her holding a set of clothes—pastel-colored clothes. She had a splitting headache and looking at the green color churned her stomach. 

Even at first glance, Jessamyn could say that those clothes were used, apart from the obvious fact that they were not her clothes. 

"I do not want that woman's leftovers! Bring me my clothes!" she shouted for that man to hear. 

She knew Jerrick was standing by the door. 

The maid took an unconscious step back, shocked by Jessamyn. After all, Ladies don't behave this way. Judging by the maid's age, she must be serving in the Theodulf household for long and the lady of the castle wouldn't have raised her voice like this. 

Jessamyn didn't give a f*ck.

She might look petty and childish but she didn't care. She was not there to prove her worth. She didn't want to be there. 

 Jerrick waved his hand and the maid rushed out of the room. The door closed once again. A few minutes later, another maid brought her a set of new maid's uniform. 

"These are not my clothes either," Jessamyn glared at the young maid. 

"Your clothes are in the wash, Lady-uh-Mis-Mrs…" the young maid stuttered not knowing how to address her. 

Jessamyn let out a deep breath. She cannot stay naked for long. "Leave it. I can dress myself."

The maid gave a curtsy and after checking the temperature of the water, left the room. The door locked once more.

Jessamyn walked to the basin of water and the washcloth neatly folded beside her. In the silence, the happenings of earlier settled. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her hands shook.

Sitting on the chair, she scrubbed the filth off her. Her skin reddened with her scrubbing. The wound on her neck stung but it was nothing compared to the disgust she felt.

She scrubbed her lips to the point of breaking. No matter how much she scrubbed, she couldn't get rid of the crawling feeling on her skin.

He thought she was open to take whenever he wanted and did that to her. Scoundrel!

Ah!! Why do I not feel clean?

She scrubbed and scrubbed. 

She had to stop when there was a knock at the door. 

"One moment," she shouted. 

Dashing to the bed, she put on the clothes. It could be him at the door.

"Come in…" she said composing herself. 

Thankfully, it was the young maid from earlier. She placed the tray of food on the table. Another maid followed and took away the washbasin. 

The maid was shocked when she saw Jessamyn but she said nothing. 

"You can take this away. I am not hungry," Jessamyn waved her hand.

She truly wasn't hungry. Her head hurt. She couldn't feel anything as her whole body stung. 

"Feed that maid after the lady finishes her food."

Jessamyn gritted her teeth hearing Jerrick's voice. She had to agree to stay there in exchange for Isadora's life, but now she had no choice in any matter. 

"I am not a lady and she's not a maid! Her name is Isadora!" Jessamyn shouted although she didn't have hopes for that man to listen to her. 

He peeked his head inside and stared at her for a few seconds. He then nodded at the maid and walked away. 

The maid stood with her head bowed and one hand over the other. Without speaking, she revealed that she intended to obey her master's command. 

Jessamyn looked at the porridge on the table. The maid picked up the tray and brought it to Jessamyn. She couldn't taste anything and yet she finished it all. 

Isadora can't miss a meal. That girl loved to eat.

"Isadora likes meat and wine," she said passing the tray to the maid. She didn't want them feeding porridge to that poor girl.

If he held her hostage, the least he could offer was good food for Isadora. 

The maid bowed her head respectfully. 

"What is your name?" Jessamyn asked.

She was intrigued by this maid's attitude. She had an air of awareness and sincerity around her. She also seemed unfazed for someone so young. 

That was why she needed to be wary of her. 

"It's Lynae," the maid said. 

"You too are named after a flower like me…" Jessamyn said. "I am Jessamyn."

Lynae blinked her pretty eyes a couple of times. She understood that Jessamyn was asking her to call her by her name in an indirect way. 

 "You can call for me if you need anything, Milady," she politely said with a curtsey. Jessamyn leaned on the headboard watching Lynae leave. 

What a loyal maid!

She heard the door lock. She was exhausted but she shouldn't fall asleep. She needed to come up with a plan to escape this hellscape.

She remembered leaning on the headboard, forcing herself to stay awake. But then everything went blank.

And then there were nightmares. 

In one, she was running toward the sound of hooves, but she could never catch the horse. 

In another, Isadora was getting chased by a gigantic bear. Isadora was screaming for help but Jessamyn couldn't even move. Isadora fell down a cliff, still shouting for her help. She couldn't move an inch. 

She was then standing in the council with the elders all sitting around her wearing their purple hoods. She couldn't see their faces but they were all mumbling among themselves. She could feel the hostility around her and her chest hurt as her breathing got heavy.

Everything went blank once more and only pain remained. Sometime later, gentleness covered her. She felt something cold in her mouth. It warmed her chest as she swallowed. There was relief; albeit for a short time.

This time she had a dream. She was sitting peacefully under the cocoa tree. She heard someone talking to her, soothingly, like a distant songbird singing the most peaceful tune she had ever heard. Listening to the song, she embroidered jasmine flowers. It had been a long time since she did embroidery. She hadn't embroidered after she started working for the council. 

That dream was peaceful as it took her back to the time when she was happy. She used to embroider her husband's kerchiefs as he loved it. The gentle breeze brought the scent of delicate autumn flowers. She saw her brother's silhouette in the distance. Her lips curved to a smile. 

Ethan was one other person she loved. 

 She stood up with a pleasant smile. As his image drew closer, she noticed that her brother no longer was the boy she knew. He was a man, and he was wearing armor. She dropped the embroidery hoop seeing the longsword in his hand. The surroundings turned gloomy and dark.

'Forgive me, Jessamyn. I have no other way…'