Confusion

Bernard turned to face her. His eyes softened as the corners of his lips slightly raised. The usual stiffness on his face was gone and his shoulders were relaxed.

"You look different, beautiful Isadora," Bernard said. 

"Beaut-?" Isadora's throat closed once again.

Did he just call me beautiful?

Isadora's brain went blank hearing his deep voice. Her throat got blocked with… air. Nothing came out but air. At least, she didn't forget to breathe.

"Yes. You are beautiful. Always," Bernard said as a matter of fact and took a step closer.

Isadora's first instinct was to take several steps back. Once again, his scent and his voice were a deadly combination that made her senses go haywire and caused a deep stirring in her abdomen—a sensation that was painful and yet pleasurable.

Bernard didn't get closer to her anymore. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Ah," Isadora smiled nervously clutching her skirt.

Ah… What was that I wanted to ask again?

Isadora blinked her eyes struggling to remember what was that she wanted to talk about. She couldn't remember anything as if someone had wiped out her brain.

Beautiful… He said I am beautiful…Always!!! Was he always looking at me? Does he really think that I am beautiful?

"Isadora?" Bernard asked, this time he raised his voice a little sensing her blanking out.

"Huh?" Isadora winced, then rushed back inside the room like an arrow shot out of the bow. Quickly, she closed the door.

Bernard looked at the door and his shoulders drooped. "I scared her away…" he mumbled, his voice low and filled with disappointment.

Isadora looked at the door with a frown. She didn't know why she ran inside as if he was chasing her to kill her. All that man said was she was beautiful. She didn't understand her behavior.

"…here… Come here to me, Jaylene… I know you're there…"

Isadora saw Jessamyn calling for someone, standing by the window.

"Who are you calling for, Milady?" Isadora shirked off her feelings and peeked out the window.

*Caw* *Caw*

She heard the cawing of a raven but didn't see any ravens around. Finally, she managed to see the origin of the cawing.

"Do they have mynas here, Milady?" Isadora asked, amused.

"Not really. This one's a pet," Jessamyn said and held out her hand. "Hey, there, JayJay… Come to me… I won't hurt you. You know I can't hurt you. I cannot catch you. You're fast…"

Isadora didn't understand what her lady was doing, talking to a myna. Weren't they planning on going to the town?

 "You won't come to me?" Jessamyn said her voice filled with feigned disappointment.

Her lips curved with amusement for she knew the one thing that bird couldn't refuse for the life of it—the one thing that bird loved more than the one who saved its life.

Jessamyn pretended to pull the window to close it and spoke in a disappointed tone. "Oh, JayJay… I wanted to give you some mangoes, but you~"

"Mango! Mango! Mango!"

Before Jessamyn finished, the bird started screeching. Fluttering its wings, it entered the room.

"JayJay want mango! JayJay love mango! Mango! Mango! My-nah! Give mango! JayJay mango!"

It screeched, circling Jessamyn. Isadora was not pleased that the bird was ruining her lady's hairstyle, but her lady seemed to not care. She casually walked to the bed while the bird chaotically darted around the room like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"My-nah good… My-nah give JayJay mango…Jerry give no mango… Jerry bad…"

Jessamyn sighed seeing the bird shouting with all its might. The bird knew how to brownnose. It had already thrown its owner under the carriage. Hearing the name she was once called by him, and the name she called him once, from the familiar bird—the only thing that connected them to the past, her heart got heavy.

 "I need a carriage to go to the town," Jessamyn shouted above the voice of the bird.

Isadora looked at her lady with bewilderment. Is she bargaining with a bird? How is that going to help us?

"Carriage! Carriage!" Screeched the bird now. Halting its frantic excitement, it flew out of the window leaving a trail of feathers.

"Ah…" Jessamyn stretched herself. 

Isadora was more surprised to see her lady relaxing as if she had already gotten what she wanted. She rushed to the window to see what that bird could possibly do.

"Ready the carriage!" The bird said, this time mimicking the voice of the lord of the castle.

Isadora still couldn't understand how the stable boys would listen to a bird. Even if the bird mimicked the lord's voice perfectly, it still was a bird; not their lord. Everyone knew it.

But Isadora was in for a surprise. The bird had to repeat it only twice before the stable boys rushed to the stable to ready the carriage.

"How did you know this would work, Milady?" Isadora's eyes widened with bewilderment.

Jessamyn shrugged, hiding the pain in her heart. She had a feeling that his pet bird would have some role in his household. It was very much possible he used his talking bird to command his servants when he had a bad leg.

Maybe she still knew him a little. Maybe she misunderstood him in the past. Maybe he never loved her the way she thought he did. Maybe she misunderstood everything. Was there ever a promise of marriage from his side? Maybe it was just friendship and she who was neglected thought he was in love with her.

Her fingers unconsciously ended on her lips.

Those kisses… They meant something. Friends don't kiss each other on the lips, do they?

She took in a deep breath. It was no use thinking of the past. It was hard to move on though. She never had a closure. She built her life over the gaping hole left in her heart thinking the memories would be forgotten.

She did make many beautiful memories with Joar that made her forget the past. But Joar was no more. She had no more good memories to build and the building of good memories got weakened.

A simple wind was enough to shake her foundation, as her foundation was never laid. There was only a gaping hole as she didn't have closure.

"Milady, shall we?" Isadora asked.

"Yes!" Jessamyn stood up with a smile.

She had a feeling she didn't have much time left on earth. Her body had given out. She could feel the weakness growing inside her. She didn't know what the future had in hold for her but she decided to face it with grace.

When they stepped outside, Bernard blocked them. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

"We are going to the town," Jessamyn said. She stood alert ready to make a run for it if Bernard attacked them. 

Bernard scoffed at her, his face stiff. "You cannot leave anywhere until…"

He paused seeing Isadora stepping forward. Jessamyn held her hand warning her not to get too close to the loyal servant.

Isadora didn't listen and stood in front of Jessamyn. Jessamyn's heart pounded and she tried to pull Isadora back.

What are you trying to do? You may think he's cute, Isadora, but he does not think the same! Please, stop!