14

Ali POV 

I closed the door on the hobbit's now bleeding nose and turned to face my raging sister who was just staring at Sheldon who was pulling out one of the tubs of ice cream and three bowls with silverware. He looked up at Pen and said, "Would you like chocolate syrup or caramel drizzle on your ice cream. I would offer a warm beverage but my sister always preferred ice cream when it came to boy troubles. Since I have adopted the Missy survival guide rule book to our interactions I deemed Ice cream as the better option given the scenario that just played out." Penny lost it at Sheldon's blasé tone and the ease at which he pulled out the tub of ice cream in our apartment. She just giggled at the man and said, "You I like, you can stay. I'll take both chocolate and caramel if you don't mind, thanks Sheldon." She turned to me and said, "I'll be back I need to change out of my uniform before we have ice cream." I nodded at her as she turned to walk out of the room. 

Sheldon looked at me and said, "Chocolate, caramel or both like your sister. Although I must advise against that last option but who am I to question an upset female. Missy and Memaw taught me better than to do that again." He shook his head as a shudder ran through him, I just chuckled at him and said, "I prefer caramel over chocolate usually, so caramel will be fine thank you Sheldon." He nodded in a silent gesture and continued in severing up our late night snack while we waited for Penny. It didn't take her long to find her way back into the living room in a pair of her Care Bear pajama shorts and a spaghetti strap shirt, thankfully she kept her bra on otherwise Sheldon would probably freak out slightly. The evening wasn't a complete loss thanks to Sheldon and his ice cream, Pen managed to calm down after the first bite she even let Sheldon pick what show we watched. He has officially created a monster Penny now loves the show firefly, Sheldon has vowed to show her the better side of entertainment because and I quote 'Watching Americas Next Top Model is not a proper use of your time Penny.' It is funny watching them fight over the pros and cons of the show Pen is adamant that it can teach her how to walk and carry herself better allowing her a chance to land a better role in the future. Sheldon doesn't see the value in watching other girls try to succeed instead of her just going out to try for herself. I'm more inclined to agree with Sheldon but I won't be telling Penny that cause he can go home to avoid her I have to share a bathroom so I'm not gonna burn that bridge. 

After their great show debate ended Sheldon said goodnight and went back to his apartment while Penny pulled out the wine and hunkered down to watch old I Love Lucy reruns. I joined her for a while before the day started to catch up with me. I said goodnight to her and went to my own room for the evening. 

Sheldon POV

The last few days has been a tense with Leonard still not accepting his horrendous failure at courtship with Penny. Ali has clued me in even more into Penny's thoughts on Leonard and while I don't agree with all of them I can see why she has drawn some of the conclusions about him. 'Enough thinking about Leonard' I thought to myself 'It's time to watch Dr. Who' I sat at my spot with my cereal to begin my Saturday morning routine when Leonard burst out of his room and stood directly in front of the screen and said, "Sheldon, I need your help in getting the girls to like me so that I can woo one of them." I chuckled at first but then realized he wasn't actually joking with me so I looked at him and said, "I don't think that I am the right person to help you with this endeavor. First of all I am not the best person to ask when it comes to human emotions or interactions. Second of all I am friends with Ali and becoming friends with Penny although she scares me some and her hygiene need work she is Ali's sister and I will not help you in your misguided efforts in attempting to have coitus with either woman. Third and lastly both women have expressed to me a complete and utter lack of interest in you outside of being your neighbor." After speaking my peace I attempted to get back to my now soggy cereal in peace but Leonard must not be in a listening mood because he plopped down on the chair next to me and said, "Why do they like you and not me? They were supposed to fall for me, I'm dependable, nice, and funny. We are supposed to have smart and beautiful babies together. I know I just have to back off for a few weeks and then when they lower their guard I'll swoop in and charm the pants off of Penny." while I was glad his plan didn't directly include Ali, Penny was still in his crosshairs. You would think after she punched him in the face he would have gotten the hint. I scoffed at Leonard and his delusions but went back to my breakfast.

After Dr. Who it was time for my weekly call with Memaw she called right on time like always. "Hello Memaw" She chuckled at me and said "Hello Moonpie how was your week?" I sighed and said, "It has been stressful, Leonard has developed a crush on our new neighbors and this has led to some tension. I have told him his delusions of coitus and future children with either woman is non-existent but he just refuses to listen. Penny has even punched him in the nose because he called her out on a male caller she had over one evening." Memaw was silent for a second before she said, "Well that sounds like a lot to deal with Moonpie. Have you spoken with either of the girls?" I chuckled at Memaw and said, "Yes I have, I am even working with Ali on her new book through the college. She is also a comic book fan and she has an appreciation for organization. Penny on the other hand Is very disorganized and has a lack of any real ambition according to Ali. She works at the cheesecake factory while waiting for her big break in Hollywood, she wants to be an actress. I do feel she is missing her calling I have seen her Jr. Rodeo trophies she is quite talented." Memaw gave a breathy laugh and said, "Well it sounds to me that you are making some new friends Moonpie. I would love to be able to talk to them when they have a chance and get to know them better since they are taking care of my Moonpie."

I smiled at my Memaw's words she is just the sweetest and said, "I will speak with them about a potential video call with you at a latter date when Missy is there to help set up your computer, I have to thank her anyway. Her 'How to Not Anger a Girl' handbook that she wrote for me back in high school has kept me from angering either of the girls like Howard and Leonard. She might not have been the kindest sister but she defiantly taught me what not to do or say to a woman." Memaw laughed at that which brought a smile to my face. She finally managed to calm down and said, "I'm glad to hear you were able to learn something from your sister. I will let you go now Moonpie I know you are a busy man. Love you Moonpie." I smiled and said, "I'm never to busy for you Memaw but I will let you go. I love you too Memaw I will talk to you same time next week, goodbye." and with that we hung up the phone another week under our belts. Hopefully next week will be better and I will have something more interesting to talk about with Memaw than Leonard and his misguided thoughts.