11 The Real Miss Fifer

Weighed down by her guilt over Miss Fifer, Eva's wanderlust for the archive all but vanished.

Instead of perusing the endless isles for more knowledge, she sat down at the long desk, rested her head in between her arms, and fell asleep. The only useful thing she learned during slow weeks was that if she fell asleep in the library, she would truly lose consciousness. When she woke up again, she would wake up in Ardenshore, a few hours having passed.

It was a similar but different pain than what she went through when her father and mother died. Im that situation she had all the mind to pity herself, blaming her family's downfall on the cruelty of fate. She was the victim. But I'm this case, it was Eva who had done something wrong, perhaps even unforgivable.

Consequently her thirst for knowledge was replaced by thoughtless repetition.

It was a sunny day on the roof spent dyeing peonies a variety of different colors, when Eva turned around and caught Dylan staring at her, again.

"What!" She tossed a black poppy at him, the flower bounced off his pale skin.

Dylan abashedly looked down at his elegant long fingers, not the hands of a working man, but no less skilled. With his eyes full of earnest determination he said, "Let me paint you."

His handsome face was painted in a golden hue by the sun, his eyes were like glistening pools. If she was being honest with herself, she had fallen in love with him. But if she was being even more honest with herself, they didn't stand a chance. Perhaps the old Eva, the third child of the wealthy Hartley family could have been his match... but she was long gone, never to return. So she chose not to acknowledge her feelings. After all, If she kept them locked away for long enough, they would shrivel up and die.

"Alright," she nodded, a resolute smile on her plump lips.

"And..." he hesitated.

"Yes?"

"Let me follow you around today."

Eva's bright smile dropped into confusion, "What, why?"

Dylan's eyes twinkled with sincerity, "If I'm really going to capture you in paint, I need to live a day in your life. I'll become your shadow and helper for a few days. What do you say?"

Eva frowned, trying hard to picture this cultivated young man following her to scrub the floors of the pub. Truthfully, she didn't want him to see her like that. She was about to refuse but Dylan abruptly stood up and covered his heart with his right hand, a display of the utmost sincerity and earnestness in Ardenshore.

"Please, Eva," he said,  his eyes sparked like the sun glistening on the waves. Eva could only sigh; he'd won her over, again.

"Fine."

Delighted, Dylan gave her a grateful bow.

"But first we need to do something about your clothes." Eva shook her head at his pristine cream suit and crisp white shirt.

A while later two young men left Eva's building. The shorter boy, had a scruffy look to him with his fingers dyed black, and his dark unruly hair barely kept presentable under an old cap. Strapped on his back was a wooden barrel with a cloth covering the top. The other boy was two heads taller. He was very neat despite the patchy trousers and stained shirt he wore. If one watched him for a while, they would quickly discover his superior posture and gentile style of walking that stood out compared to the other residents of Saltspindle.

Dylan was surprisingly calm about Eva's sudden transition into a boy. She guessed that he must have seen her leave before in her brothers clothes.

"I can't believe no one is staring at me," Dylan scanned the people around them.

Despite being older than her, Dylan seemed naive and innocent to Eva, "It's because you blend in now that you're dressing a little worse."

After an hour, they arrived at Miss Gwendolyn's shop in Falkirk. Finn, Miss Gwendolyn's nephew, was the first to see them arrive.

"Evan!" he called waving an uprooted tulip bulb in his hand, "Auntie is waiting for you inside with Miss Fifer!"

Eva froze on the spot, her breath caught in her throat. Seeing the happy boy beckoning her in, she didn't think it could be a lie. She starting running toward the shop, leaving the confused Dylan to trial after her. Pushing through the entrance, dashing down the hall, finally she burst through the living room to see Miss Tess Fifer seated on the sofa.

Stricken with equal parts relief and guilt, Eva couldn't help but marvel at the sight of the beautiful woman, primly seated on the quaint sofa, not a hair out of place. Wearing a sublime purple gown embroidered with blue and silver cornflowers, Miss Fifer had transformed from a humble women to a gorgeous Madam.

Seeing that Eva was frozen in place, Miss Fifer beckoned her over with a smile, "Little Evan, come, take a seat."

Eva soon found herself on the couch beside Miss Fifer, still somewhat not believing her eyes. Realising that she had to apologise for what she'd done, Eva scrambled to get down on one knee and give a gentleman's apology with her right hand over her chest, but Miss Fifer caught hold of her arms.

"Stop that," she gently urged Eva back onto the Sofa. "I came here to thank you."

Puzzled, Eva barely managed to form a response, "But... I—"

"I think it's better if I explain it from the beginning first," Miss Fifer's ocean blue eyes traveled across the room to Miss Gwendolyn's face, a trace of worry flitted across her calm eyes. She glanced between Evan and Dylan.

Realising that Miss Fifer was about to disclose something important, perhaps private, Eva gestured to Dylan, "This is my good friend, if it's uncomfortable for you, I could ask him to step outside for a while?"

Miss Fifer elegantly shook her head, "If he's a friend of yours, he's a friend of mine."

Eva and Dylan settled into the room, both taking seats on the opposite sofa while Miss Gwendolyn settled in front of a desk and busied herself with some flower arrangements. Although, it was impossible to miss the perturbed expression on her face.

"My mother and aunts were governesses for wealthy families, after completing my studies, I was sent to live with the Fowler family in Urmvale to be the governess for their young children."

Eva's eyes flitted to Dylan's hands which were tightly clenched over his knees, straining the weak fabric.

Though Eva didn't know the name Fowler, she recognized Urmvale as a wealthy suburb on the other side of the hill. She vaguely recalled that some of her father's important clients lived there.

"Although the children were unruly, the lady of the house was pleasant enough, and I enjoyed the high standards of living," although she said that, her eyes seems void of any reminisce or glee. "It wasn't long before Mr. Fowler took interest in me."

Eva's shoulders instantly stiffened, glancing back at Gwendolyn, a clue as to the sour look on her face.

"He was very handsome, and passionate. So different than the studies I'd devoted my life to this far, but of course, he had a terrible reputation. Then again, I suppose a creditor can't have a good reputation." Miss Fifer remarked, a soft chuckle escaping as she delicately brought a lace handkerchief to her lips.

"Young and ambitious, I threw away my virtue and fell in love with him. A year later, I was with child," she continued, her head held high as she recounted what should have been a shameful story. "It was around that time that Mrs. Fowler realized what was going on between us. As expected, she was furious..."

Who wouldn't be? The young woman she hired to teach her children ended up having an illicit affair with her husband, and got pregnant. Even in the liberal society Katherine lived, such an act was deplorable.

"She gave me a choice. I could either be with Mr. Fowler as his mistress by ending my pregnancy, or I could leave the kingdom by her arrangement and give birth to my child somewhere else, never to return."

Eva followed Miss Fifer's hand as she placed it over her flat belly.

"I refused to make a choice. I was determined to be with my love and have his child, all my own way." she said, gently shaking her head as if rebuking her own naivety.

"She told Mr Fowler that I ran away. In reality she imprisoned me in an apartment near the harbour. She had a doctor visit me, he killed my unborn child. Then a mage paid me a visit. He bound me in magic so that I could never return to the Fowlers or my family, or even try get in contact with them. I was stuck there for many long months, until I met you, Evan."

Everything slowly fell into place for Eva.

"Yes, I gave you that lace on purpose." She confirmed Eva's suspicions, "You were such a poor child, how could you not sell it? And when you sold it, he caught wind of my precious lace square being used in a transaction. So he was able to find me. And he did."

There was a tightness in Eva's chest, it was not painful, but it was uncomfortable.

"Then, that man in the carriage was Mr. Fowler?" Eva asked.

Miss Fifer nodded, "Yes, he found me thanks to you." Glancing at Eva's face she quickly added, "He told me what happened in the carriage ride... After I scolded him, he hoped he could beg your forgiveness by placing a weekly order of black roses."

Eva found it difficult to believe that fearsome man could beg anyone for forgiveness. And she felt uncomfortable taking Miss Fifer's money in this situation.

"I thought I had gotten you killed..." Eva couldn't  shake off the lingering sin.

Miss Fifer shook her head. "No, you helped me. Thanks to you, he found me."

"I've been settling down in Urmvale these past weeks, but I came back to thank you for your help, and to get you to accept my order of black roses. Let me appease my guilt for lying to you and using you."

Miss Fifer placed her slim hand over her heart in earnest.

Miss Gwendolyn abruptly stood up, "Don't take the order through me, I don't want anything to do with this." She strode out of the room, her pride and disappointment written all over her face.

Eva remembered that despite what had happened to Miss Fifer, by Ardenshore standards, she was the definition of a scandalous woman. The type that married woman guarded against, and the general public took pride in wagging their tongues at. Although Miss Gwendolyn was by no means the feminine archetype seeing as she was running a business and unmarried, she had strong principles. It made sense that she was unwilling to continue her association with Miss Fifer. But knowing how close they use to be, Eva felt this friendship could be mended with time.

"I'm relieved that you're alright," said Eva. Of all her messy feelings surrounding this situation, that was a truth she was sure of. "Since I've been lying to you too, I can't take you generous offer."

Miss Fifer blinked in surprise, "You've been lying to me?"

Eva nodded, she glanced up at Dylan who had been silent this whole time. "Actually, I'm a girl. My name's Eva not Evan."

The always polite, always composed, Miss Fifer burst out laughing. Her laugh was bright, sunny, and refreshingly honest. "I suppose we're a both a pair of fibbers."

After some light chatting and persuasion, Miss Fifer persuaded Eva to accept her order for one bunch of black roses each week. Since the transaction was not going through Miss Gwendolyn, Miss Fifer raised the price to 10 shills per bunch. She would send a servant to collect the flowers directly from Eva's lodgings every week.