Courage.

Next day, she woke up in the same way. She woke at 4:30 and started cleaning, like nothing has happened, nothing has changed, like it was a dream.

She started cleaning the house, and soon washed the clothes, and made food for her family, her head getting lower and lower, her hands trembling, and in his part, she was also. She immediately made food, and ready herself to leave, she wanted to leave as soon as possible . She went to her room, and started packing her stuff, ready to leave the house as soon as they said to leave, it was suffocating.

She sat on her bed, her packed beg on the left of her facing door, she was waiting for someone to enter, and told her to leave as soon as possible, and like they forgot about her, nobody came. The day ended, and she sat on the bed without moving. She starts to think they won't gonna come, when it happens. Her mother opened the door, and the way she was, she was unhappy, angry and drunk.

" Come out. " She said, and left the door open. And she took her time to get out, and she built her courage, and slowly opened the door and enter the hall area, where his mother was sitting drinking and smoking.

" Sit. " She ordered, and she immediately tried to sit on the ground, when she stopped him.

" Sit here! " She said pointing beside her. She hesitated.

" SIT. " He said in a serious tone. And she immediately rushed, and tried to sit beside her, when she stopped her, and grabbed her arm.

" Sit on the ground. " And she did, and looked at the ground, sitting near her feet. And for a moment nothing happened, and Ushma felt her mother stroking her head. She has never done that, not at the time she could remember. A level of fear arose in her heart she couldn't understand, her body started to tremble, she couldn't understand why, but she knew something was wrong.

" You know, I was happy. " She said still patting her head,

" I was happy that your sister is going to marry , I was happy that she was going to marry a very nice and good guy. He owns and manages four malls in the city, isn't it great? " She asked, and grabbed her forehead,demanding an answer. And she nodded vigorously, her hands trembling .

" He liked your sister the moment he saw her. And they decided to fix the marriage then and there, isn't it good? " And she nodded .

" We decided to conduct the engagement in a few days, and sent invitations to all close friends and family." And her grip on hair tightened and she started to pull it.

" Everything was perfect, the hotel was lavish, guests were in prestige, everyone was happy. " And she stopped pulling his hair.

" He has several and has several restaurants in this city. " And a sinking feeling starts to fall on her heart.

" And you know what's funny, guess what's funny? You know, you work in one of them. " And she laughed.

" And this even isn't the funniest part, my dear. You remember that day when your sister was crying because your boyfriend insulted her and her friend. You remember that right? Now see here. Your manager there was a friend of the groom, and she recognized your sister and her friends immediately. " And she kept patting her head

" It wasn't a big deal right? If a young girl isn't gonna party ! So who is gonna ? You! " She said, forcing her head to look at her.

" And that he knows, she is a party girl. But you know what's the matter, the matter was that . YOU! An elder daughter of out family works at a chip restaurant, but that's not a big problem. " And she grabbed her hair.

" You let people touch you. " And she slapped her. She stood up, snd sits quietly, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, as her mother enters the room with a venomous glare*

" You little tramp! How could you do this to your sister? You've always been nothing but trouble!" And her heart pounding in her chest, unable to comprehend the sudt feeling she was having.

"Don't you dare look at me like that! You know exactly what you've done! Flirting with every man who crosses your path, just like a harlot just like a slut. " And she pulls her hair, she struggles to find her voice, to defend herself against the cruel words being hurled at her, but all she can manage is a strangled sob.

"You're a disgrace to this family! Your sister's engagement fell apart because of your slutty behavior!"

"You have no idea how much shame you've brought upon this family! If you weren't such a burden, your sister wouldn't have had to deal with the embarrassment of her broken engagement!" And she pulled her hair so hard that blood started to flow from her scalp.

" They broke the marriage in front of all those people that were once beneath us, they are now laughing at us, BECAUSE OF YOU. " She yelled out.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you! Look at what you've done! Your sister's happiness is ruined because of you!" She tries to speak, but no words come out, only a faint whimper.

" I'm tired of your pathetic excuses! You're nothing but a useless, good-for-nothing burden! I wish you were never born." And Ushma retreats into herself, wishing she could disappear.

"That's right, run away like you always do! You're spineless, go hide your ugly face somewhere, you useless turf. " And she slapped her hard.

And then sat back on the table, and looked at her.

" You ruined her life. " And she looked at the blood drops on the ground . And a sympathetic look came to her face.

"Oh, darling, I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. But you know, sometimes life throws us these challenges, born with such a ugly face, and fragile body with so many shortcomings. You were never good in studies, never good in socializing. You have always been so disappointing. " And she sits hunched over, her shoulders weighed down by the burden of her mother's accusations, her eyes cast downward in defeat.

"Look at you, sitting there like a pathetic excuse for a daughter. You're nothing but a failure, a disappointment in every way. " And Usham just kept her head lower.

"You can't even speak up for yourself! What kind of daughter are you? You are the elder daughter of mine, a woman who dominates the media. Atlestet stand for you, if my mother has something like that, I would have stabbed her in the stomach. " And she remains quiet, looking down on the ground at her hand covered in blood.

" Say something good for nothing, waste of space . " She yelled. And pushed her on the ground.

" You can't hold down a decent job, you can't keep a man interested, you can't even take care of yourself! What use are you to anyone?"

"I've wasted so much time and energy on you, hoping you'd amount to something. But it's clear now that you're just a lost cause."

"I don't know why I bother. You'll never change. You'll always be a worthless, good-for-nothing burden on this family." And she looked at her waste of space, and grabbed her with gentleness, and put her head on her lap and started petting it. She looked at her cigarette, and dropped the ashes on her neck. And saw the red marks of her disease. A look of disgust fell on her, and she without thinking burned neck with her cigarette. She felt her trembling a bit , but even after getting burned, she didn't move a bit, and even her trembling stopped, and seeing her not crying and not doing anything, she burned her again, again and again. And like the first time, she did not react at all , and even the cigarette went off. And she threw the useless cigarette away in anger, and looked at several burn marks on her neck, but she still didn't react.

" Did you like that trash? " She asked, and didn't get a reply. And seeing this she sighs.

" You see, not everyone is strong enough to handle these kinds of situations. Some people, well, they just can't bear the weight of their mistakes." And she starts petting her head again.

"And when they can't bear it anymore, they might start thinking that there's only one way out. One way to end the pain and the shame they've brought upon themselves, and for their family. " And she gave a smile, but Usham kept her head down, but she understood what her mother was doing.

" Of course, I'm not saying you would ever do something like that. But I just want you to understand the gravity of the situation. Actions have consequences, dear."

" I love you, you know that, right? I just want what's best for you. And sometimes, what's best might seem like the hardest choice to make. " She knows what she was doing, but her stupid daughter doesn't understand anything, it looks like she had to spill it out to her.

" You know, you should - "

" Commit sucide. " And she looked at her with surprise which grew when she saw her eyes. Her eyes were blank. She couldn't decipher anything from them. But she felt a sense of unease from them, and the way she answered, she felt something different. She has never talked to her before.

" you know, a year ago I didn't even know what suicide even means, I never thought of killing myself, I don't know if it was even an option, i never think that i can kill myself. I was afraid, I was afraid what would happen if I survived. " And she looked at her mother with cold, dead eyes. And her mother immediately felt fear .

" Mother, I know you never loved me.

" You want me to end my life ? You never loved me in the first place. You never saw me as a daughter , for you I was just a mistake, and you know it. " Taken aback by her daughter's sudden assertion, her eyes narrowing with anger.

"How dare you! I've sacrificed everything for you!" And she just stared at her blankly.

"Sacrifice? Is that what you call it? Using me as your punching bag, blaming me for every disappointment in your life? That's not love, Mother . " sputters with indignation, her face flushed with rage.

"You ungrateful little—"

"You know what, Mother? Maybe you're right. Maybe I am a burden. You called me ugly, you think I'm hideous, But In reality, I'm not. I'm not hideous, I'm not ugly, I'm beautiful. " she said, believing every single word she said.

" I'm gonna leave this house, and I'm never coming back. " She said , getting up to leave, when her mother stopped her.

" Who wants you anyways, go leave you useless trash, no one loves you anyway, go die in a ditch somewhere." And she throws the whisky bottle on her head, which broke after falling on the ground, and with a large amount of blood flowed out from her head. And her mother, seeing the amount of blood, immediately got worried. She rushed to get a medical kit.

" Move you ungrateful child, and find something to close your wound, if your father sees that. " She yelled when she noticed Ushma was looking at her, her face covered in blood, but this time, she looked different, her aura was different, she was silent, but this silence was filled with a sense of untold coldness that seemed to fall on the hall. And when she was searching for it, ushma had enough.

" Mother. " She heard her calling her. And when she looked at her, she saw an expression that she hadn't seen in her face. And it was disgust.

She spates on the ground , and moves. She grabbed her bag and left the house immediately.

She went out wiping her eyes. She reached the bus stand , and waited for something, when her stomach aches, saying she is hungry. She looked in front of her, and checked her money's sake, and found it was good, but not enough. She went to her morning part time job and asked for money. And like a good boss, he gave her the salary of 3 months, which she hadn't get, he asked why did she get it in her account, which she didn't reply in full answer, and after getting the money, now she was rich, and she decided to leave the city as soon as possible. She reached the bus stand and started to think where she wanted to go?

Her mind wasn't working, she was just grabbing her forehead and looking down on the ground not thinking a bit. Her mind was in turmoil, and she sat there silently crying. And while she was sitting in the chair, the scorching evening happened, and she had to go somewhere cold. She entered a good looking and well furnished restaurant . She sat there and ordered a cheeseburger, and lit a big cigarette from her lighter pen, and sat there drinking a cold drink when the waiter came saying she couldn't smoke here, and when she looked around, she saw it was a family restaurant. She looked at the waiter with blank and raised eyebrows, and looked at the cigarette in her hand. She sighs and put it on her cigarette pen, the cigarette that fits on the pen wasn't cheap at all, the store owner recognize the pen in her hand, it was a limited edition pen that holds a special cigarette, which was the correct length to put it in, and that special cigarette wasn't cheap. And after putting it aside, she eats the cheesiest burger and fries with thumbs-up ( a beverage) and start eating like no tomorrow. And after eating half, she couldn't finish it full, many fries where still left, and she spend quite a time there, and after finishing the fries, she looked at the half eaten burger, and decided to finish the cold burger, and after eating and paying she left the restaurant, and looked at the bustling city and the setting sun. She decided to take a stroll in the city, and reached near the pond where it all begins. She sat in the same position, and lit the old cigarette, and started smoking, and looked at the starry sky, and saw how small this world is, and how beautiful it can be. She felt the pain in her head, and she applied medicine on it.

And while she was smoking, she felt people coming at her direction, and it was nothing new, this place is popular after all. And it was a couple, and she didn't like there lovey dovey situation, and she decided to leave, and throw away the used cigarette, and insert another in the pen to use, and while she was doing that, she saw her sister standing in front of her, and she was angry. She stopped and looked at her sister without any emotion. And Ushma decided to leave her alone, but when she was about to leave, her sister heard her saying something.

" It was all your fault. " She heard her sister yelling. And when she turned to look at her, she heard a loud bang. And she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. And when she touched her stomach, she fell down. And clutched the wound in her stomach, and the people nearby heard the gunshot and saw a fallen woman and a woman holding a gun. They screamed and ran away, and the girl who shot the fallen girl, started to run. And soon police and ambulance came to the scene. And Ushma, who was fallen on the ground, looked at her hand which was covered in blood, and her eyes were hazy, and she began to lose consciousness, and she was now remembering her childhood.

" I'm,,,. " and a small smile graced her face, and she didn't finish her words and her hand kept grabbing the pen.