Chapter 61 – From Now On (2)

We cleaned up the remaining food before continuing our conversation.

"Alright, let's continue…"

"Mm…"

After taking a quick gulp of her coke, Umi opened her mouth to speak.

"Umm… To start. I confessed to you impulsively, but I didn't regret it. After all, my feelings for you are genuine."

"Then, is it safe for me to assume that you want to go out with me?"

"…Mmm. Our tastes in food are similar… If I were to ignore your appearance, you're fun to hang out with."

"Oi."

"Haha. Well, as long as you dress up a little, you don't need to worry about your appearance, really. "

"Is that so?"

"Yep. Believe me, I fell for you, didn't I?"

"Alright…"

Mhm, as expected, she loved me.

Rather, her feelings seemed to be stronger than mine.

But she still felt uneasy about going out with me for some reason.

"I might be overthinking things… You see… I got scared that if I were to go out with you then I'd end up like before… Even though I'm supposed to trust you, I can't help but think that some girl would take you away from me…"

Who would even do that? I refrained from interjecting and let her continue.

I guess the trauma of being deceived by her friends was still there.

Even if her friends apologized to her, I doubt that the scar in her heart would disappear.

"In other words, you're afraid of me betraying you… That's why you're so hesitant, am I right?"

"Yeah, something like that… I know that I have to deal with that feeling someday, or else I wouldn't be able to move on, but… I just don't know what to do…"

Umi laughed weakly.

This girl had rejected countless confessions, but when it came to her own confession, she became like this.

It was supposed to be a simple matter. If you like the person, you'd just go out with them. If you don't, then you don't. It's that simple. But unfortunately, it wasn't that simple of a matter for either of us.

"Well, that's it. My honest feeling. Like I said, I'm a troublesome woman…"

"True."

"Muu…"

"Don't pout. It's true that you're troublesome, but I know what I'm getting myself into. I fell in love with this troublesome Umi after all."

"…Idiot…"

I understood her worries.

If she was feeling uneasy about dating me, then all I needed to do was to get rid of that feeling for her.

It shouldn't be difficult.

I could hold her hands, and tell her pretty words to ease her mind.

"Umi, um… Your hand…"

"Eh? A-ahh… Okay…"

I gently grasped Umi's hand and she responded by grasping mine back.

This was our routine, our way to comfort each other.

Except this time, I wanted to go a step further than this.

"Also… close your eyes…"

"Eh? …Why?"

"…Do you want me to explain?"

"…Uhm…"

She was puzzled by my sudden request, but she seemed to understand my intention as her face turned bright red.

"…!"

"Hm? What's wrong, Umi?"

"U-uhm… D-Do I really need to close my eyes?"

"I mean, it would be awkward if you don't…"

"I-I don't want to…"

She turned her face away, but I wouldn't back down easily.

"It might hurt the first time, Umi, but don't worry, I'll be gentle."

"W-what are you talking about, idiot?!"

She tried to shake my hand away, but I had a firm grip on her hand, so her attempt was useless.

"J-Jeez! I love you, Maki… But this is all so sudden! I'm not ready! …At least set the mood properly first!"

"Just accept it, Umi. You can't run away anyway."

I cornered her to the edge of the couch while slowly approaching her.

"B-be gentle, please?"

"…Well, don't worry about it, I'll be careful…"

"I-Idiot! Maki, you're a pervert!"

She eventually gave in, but her body was still tense. She squeezed her eyes shut while putting her pouty lips forward."

"Then, here I go…"

"M-mm…"

I held her hand while moving my face closer to hers.

"Ora!"

"Ouch!"

I flicked her forehead with a moderate amount of force. 

"Idiot. I'm not going to force myself on you like that. Anyway, sorry, that hurted a little, no?"

"Uu… I-It's fine. I was just surprised, I didn't expect that…"

"Also, I misled you, sorry. But there's no way that I'd tell you honestly that I'm about to do that. Also, the opportunity to tease you was too good to pass up."

"So, that was intentional… you jerk…"

"…Sorry…"

"It's fine. I teased you a lot in the past too, so I'll call it even. Anyway, I assume that head flick was a punishment of some sort?"

"Mm… Something like that."

Now that this matter was settled, it was my turn to tell her properly about my feelings.

"Hey, Umi, when you said that you were worried about going out with me, were you wishing that I would comfort you?"

"Ugh…"

"Don't worry, it isn't like I'll be upset with you even if that's the case."

"…J-just a little…"

"Just a little?"

"…N-no, I wanted you to comfort me! I was anxious, okay? Go easy on me…"

I figured that was the case. 

"…Well, truth be told, I want to comfort you. Saying cheesy words like 'I'm not going to betray you', or quelling your anxiety with an 'I love you'…"

"…Then, why didn't you do that?"

"Because that wouldn't solve anything. Those words will ease you temporarily, but your anxiety won't go away just like that."

Maybe if I were to soothe her with my words, her feelings for me may deepen, and we might progress our relationship further.

But, I didn't do that because I knew better. I knew a certain couple that fell in love with each other the same way, but in the end their relationship became irreconcilable. 

"Umi, would you like to hear about my parents?"

"…Are you sure?"

"Mhm…"

"…"

This wasn't a good story or anything, but I wanted her to know about it.

"…I got it. Let me hear your story, Maki…"

"Thank you, Umi…"

It was winter during my third year of middle school, right around the time when Umi's friendship cracked.

Trouble was brewing inside my house.