The Broken Armor

It had been about two weeks since I'd been assigned to guard Lya. Two of the soldiers who'd stopped by to check on me had reported that the guards in the lower compartment of the ship were often neglecting their duties and abusing drugs. Especially the slithes: those guys are stoned from morning till night, and the women they guard are using with them. They've lost their nerve, and they can hardly keep track of anyone. 

— Yenel! Are you out of your fucking mind?!

- What's all the fuss, chief? Would you like some of the good stuff?

Therefore, the very next day a mass inspection was carried out, and the amount of dope was drastically reduced, along with a collective reprimand. It was the fault of the new head of security: when I was in charge, they were afraid to even step away from the post to take a piss. Although drugs, no matter how strong, do not affect the body of the skroge, the mental dependence of many is still present. For about five days now, I've been going through withdrawal, much to Lya's delight. I just can't get the drug due to my work regimen-the fridge is always empty, and I can never get the drug in time. I was lying on the cold floor, curled up like a man with a knife wound, not sure what to do with my drugged brain.

- That's what you should do, - the girl clearly enjoyed watching me suffer.

She sat on the floor with her arms around my legs and never took her eyes off me for a second.

- You're such a bitch. You can't imagine what it's like when you can't even get a cigarette for five days straight! - I couldn't control my emotions at all, and every word I said to the girl, I snapped and yelled.

- As you call a girl, so she will behave, - she did not stop giggling, as if she found in me some scapegoat.

- Shut the fuck up, you hear me?!

- You know what's funny about all this? - she was looking down on me, even though she was behind glass.

- There's absolutely nothing funny here!

- No, it is funny. In the last two weeks, you've threatened to cut me to pieces, claw my stomach, smash my face, give me to the brutes, and, the cherry on the cake, - put your claws in the tenderest, wettest place, - But he didn't lay a finger on me.

In fact, I was more bad-mouthing her than actually wanting to do her any harm. She was already getting a lot of abuse from the soldiers who experimented on her on a daily basis. It's hard to admit it, but I felt more and more sorry for her each time.

- So you want me to enforce it?! - my scream must have been heard by the whole sector.

- You know... I've stopped being afraid of you this week, - she looked down at the floor and twirled her long, liquidy blond hair around her finger.

- You should be!

- No, really. I'm even starting to think you're cute.

- Just cute?!

To be honest, her wording hurt my male ego. I'm used to having whores flowing from me, but here I'm just cute. Okay, six out of ten.

- You expect me to think you're the first handsome man in the galaxy?

- That's what Earth women say.

- The ones who entertain you on the ship? Not a very reliable source of information.

- You think if we don't have women of our own race, I'm blind?

- Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not used to scales and tails and no eyebrows. Or the vertical pupils. 

- What's wrong with scales? If you must know, you'll have one soon.

- What?!

- I'm serious. In my experience, under the influence of the injected drugs, the skin of the test subjects often changed and became scaly like ours.

- Oh, no, that's terrible! Am I gonna be green like you? - she laughed like it was a bad thing to have an olive skin tone.

- I'd like to see that.

- Then maybe you'll like me better, and you'll finally be merciful?

- What makes you think I don't like human women?

- I mean, do you find me attractive? - Lya leaned against the glass and stretched her smile to her ears, as if she was waiting for a positive answer.

Actually, I did find the girl quite pretty. Not my type, but she had a pure, virginal beauty, unlike the order of vulgar whores on the deck. And I found that sexy as hell. But that wasn't what I said out loud, of course.

- You wish. There are, you know, better ones here.

She looked down and turned away from me.

- You could have lied for good measure.

- Fuck you.

- I'd expect nothing less from you.

- It took you a whole week to realize that?

- You'll talk differently when you find out what I can do to cheer you up.

- Will you blow me?

- I'll pretend I didn't hear that, - she pulled some kind of baggie out of her pajama pocket.

As soon as I saw it, I opened the door to her, and like a madman, I threw her to the floor, pinning her with my knee.

- Where did you get that?!

- Take it, I took it for you! Get your knee off me, you're hurting me!

I ripped the bag out of her hands. There were a few pills in there, usually in this form of Cayan dope. Without waiting another minute, I swallowed the contents in one gulp.

- You're welcome, don't choke on it.

I was about to walk back out when she yelled at me.

- Hey.

- What do you want?

- Where's the least bit of gratitude?

- Thank you.

- No, that's not what I meant.

- What do you want?

- Just let me stay behind the glass for a while. I'm not going anywhere, you know that.

After some thought, I said yes:

- Okay, - I left the door to my room open, and for a while it was as if Lya couldn't get past the psychological barrier.

She stared at the doorway for a moment, then took a step.

- If you touch anything in here, I'll throw you back in.

I sat down on the bed, and felt myself let go for the first time in five days of withdrawal: the anxiety and irritability were gone, but euphoria and a pleasant sense of relaxation had set in. The girl walked back and forth across the small room for a while, touching the walls as if she'd never seen them before. Eventually she sat down next to me, clamped as if in a vise.

- Mind you, you'll have to go back as soon as they get here.

- They won't be here for a while.

- How do you know?

- I've learned their schedule... so they won't be here soon, - she answered as if on automatic, not really thinking about what she was saying.

When you don't take a drug for more than three days, the next time you take it, it's much more intense. And I felt it to the fullest, literally flying away to paradise from the rush of the high.

- You're not so useless.

Lya pressed her lips together, as if she were pouting at me for something.

- Okay, I'm sorry. I was a little hasty when I said that about... you know, - I was afraid I'd offend her even more, feeling grateful to her.

- Apology accepted. I was right about you, though.

- Right about what?

- You know, you're kind. Unlike them. You've never hurt me once. When I was being led to the ship, the other guards, or soldiers... I don't know their rank, but they kept kicking me in the back and hitting me like I was a sack of garbage instead of a living person.

- Yeah. They are. Rough guys.

- Tell me... are the skroges completely incapable of showing... you know, tenderness, caring? Or affection? I don't know much about you. I really don't. I lived in a shelter, and all I was taught to do was cook, clean, and occasionally go hunting for game. I was told you were a race of heartless lizards, not much like humans. But with your example, I can see that's not true.

- Ha, I don't even... I don't know what to say. It's not far from the truth, what you've been told. The thing is, here on this ship, we're not exactly ordinary skroges. We're an elite, a special warfare unit involved in taking over alien planets. We have a full range of feelings, but they're not welcome. Many of us suppress them because we don't need them in a killing machine.

- And you?

- Me? Sometimes I feel things I've never felt before. Or didn't want to feel,' I was more open under the drug.

- Like what?

- Like when they hurt you.

- Hurt me?

- Don't ask me, - I clenched my fists, it was hard for me to admit it to her, - I know exactly what it is. The most pain I felt was at the stage of my creation. And at times like this, I wish I could put them in front of bullets and keep you out of it for a while, because I think I know how you feel. Too bad it's useless... they don't care.

- It's compassion, - she looked at my neck from under my fringes, as if she didn't want to or couldn't make eye contact.

- Call it that if you want.

- We humans can be insensitive, too. But sometimes we feel other people's pain as if it were our own.

- It must be terrible to experience it permanently and so acutely.

- Tell me, why do you take drugs?

- It's one of the few recreational activities for the guards here on the ship.

Yes, that's true. But I've left out another reason that's hard for me to admit, even to myself. They make me more susceptible. I feel, however briefly, alive. Feelings that for thirty years I had been used to hiding deep in the dark basement of my subconscious were coming out, allowing me to see things with different eyes.

As I thought about it, I felt Lya... groping me.

- What the...?

She touched my arm, from shoulder to elbow, moving down to my chest.

- They're... they're so strong, - she was mesmerised, literally pressing her whole body against me, 'I've never touched a man's body before. So... strong.

I've never felt anything like it. Whether it was stupidity or long abstinence, her awkward touches gave me an electric shock. Every time she touched me with her hot hands. She didn't do anything the whores on this ship wouldn't do to me, but she was the one who brought me some kind of unearthly bliss, knocking my breath away and making the blood rush to my head and...more.

- Uh-oh... what are you... doing? - I said, going into a deep, guttural growl.

It was as if she didn't hear, and continued to touch me, running a fragile hand over my abs, moving to my ribs. Was she... on purpose? Knowing I wouldn't risk doing anything to her in the workplace? If she even realised what she was doing. But instinct took over, and I grabbed her hand, placing it on my straining cock. She yanked it away sharply, as if she'd touched hot metal.

- Oh, I... I just wanted to... touch your muscles and... skin.

- You did?

- I'm sorry, I... if you want me to leave, - she blushed, as if she felt guilty about something.

I could acutely hear that sweet, captivating scent coming from her. I could feel the warmth of her hot body, hotter than mine, which I could feel even without being close to her. I could hear her heavy, laboured breathing. But the drug, and the desire that poured over me like boiling water, was really blowing my mind. And the thought that she was probably not taken, I just flew away. I grabbed the girl by the collar and jerked her against me, gripping her clawed hands tightly around her waist.

- No... let me go! - She tried to pull away, clearly terrified of this, but she couldn't do it.

I ran my split tongue along her neck, leaving saliva mixed with venom.

- Stop, no... I... I... I don't want to.

- Come on, - I said in a rough tone, - You'll love it, you'll never get fucked like this in your life, - I clawed the buttons of her shirt, exposing part of her not-so-lush breasts.

But the girl was shaking like a leaf in the wind, unable to move.

- Kserd, don't... please! - she started crying and lashing out, fearing that I would take her by force.

I wanted her more than I wanted to breathe, but my principles wouldn't let me rape her. She'd be a mess if I'd given in to my instincts. And I was used to giving human women orgasms, not pain and psychological distress. Not to mention that for twenty minutes of my cock in her hot and wet vagina, I was looking at fifty days of my carcass in a cold and dry punishment cell. I pushed her away so that she fell to the floor. Collapsing onto the bed, I turned my back to the wall, trying to push away the violent wave of intense arousal that had come over me.

- I didn't mean to, really! I... how could I make it up to her?

- Change my mind.

She was silent for a while, not knowing what to say, but then she spoke:

- I... do you want me to get you more drugs?

The offer was tempting, and I realised that it might be the only way I wouldn't go through withdrawal again. Lya probably got it from the lab before the scientists saw it.

- You'd be doing me a huge favour.

- You're not mad at me?

I wasn't mad at her. She probably didn't even know what she was doing. I mean, she was, what, like. Sixteen?

- Are you... stealing dope from scientists while they can't see? - I was struggling to get my mind in a different direction.

- They gave me some pills from that cabinet, and it didn't hurt as much during the experiments...

- So you decided it would be a good idea to take some more for... me? - I grinned.

- I... I just...

- Well, go ahead and have the baby, - I snapped.

- I haven't always enjoyed watching you suffer, actually.

- Liar. You've been torturing me all week, with only occasional breaks.

- Did it hurt you? - she huddled in the opposite corner, covering her breasts with a shirt that was now impossible to button.

- You won't, honey, - I was starting to let go, - And by the way, you'd better get back behind the glass. Otherwise I'm gonna get in trouble.

She didn't argue, just hurriedly did as I said. I knew better, because two minutes later, none other than the new head of security, Grote, walked into the observation room. A whacked out idiot who is out of place. He doesn't even know a map of the ship, let alone how to manage his subordinates. But it would be foolish to blame my own failure on others: I wouldn't be demoted if I kept my ambition in check and my mouth shut.

- Kserd, it's for you, - he said in a commanding tone.

- What business is there with a regular security guard? - I made it clear that he was in the wrong place.

However, he was persistent...

- If I came to you, then there is business. That's an order!

I nodded my head towards Lya.

- What about the girl?

- Forget about her.

What does he want with me? You're in charge now, you're the problem solver. But if he's going to do that, there's no way out. We left the room, I locked the door and Groot led me down the corridor.

- I'll keep this short and quiet so no one will hear. There's someone in the tail section of the ship.

My face twisted with anger. I pinned him against the wall.

- Grote, don't mess with my head. This is the third time you've run to me, can't you do something on your own?!

- I got it. You really want to go to the punishment cell.

I loosened my grip, letting him go. Grote, though he had the authority to punish me for insulting a superior officer, seemed to be afraid of me. Or he wanted to persuade me to do what he wanted.

- You know the map of this compartment better than anyone here.

He was right about that. Before I was assigned to this sector, I was the tail section.

- And you want me to deal with this spy?

- That's right. No one can do it better than you.

No, Groot. You're just an idiot who can't handle the simplest of tasks - organising your guards to keep spies out during your already short stays on other planets.

- What's in it for me?

- That's an order! - he raised his tone, tossing me an access card.

Without waiting for a reply, Grote hurried away. If it were up to me, I'd smash him into the wall. Fuck you, arsehole. I'll take care of it. With a glance at him, I got into the lift. 

The way to the tail section was through the technical room on the ground floor. A spy... in a place like this? What do guards do in this sector anyway? I ask myself the most idiotic questions. Bosses are bosses and subordinates are subordinates. I entered the technical room, and a long corridor appeared before me, followed by a fork in the road. I turned to the left, and another, even longer corridor, with different technical rooms in it, appeared before me. It was lit only by a faint red light. I tried to walk quietly, to listen for various suspicious sounds, but I heard nothing. The first place I went into was the room with the medical supplies. An acrid chemical smell hit my nose. It was cooler than anywhere else, and there were boxes of drugs, ampoules, and first aid supplies everywhere. But I didn't sense a stranger. Next was the ammunition depot. Right near it I could smell the enemy. Figuring that whoever was in there was unlikely to harm me, I opened the door to it. It was pitch dark, I couldn't see a damn thing. When I pressed the switch, I couldn't see any better: the warehouse was lit by the same faint red light as the corridor. 

How do they manage to see anything in here? No wonder they missed him. The warehouse had crates of weapons against the wall, and was otherwise empty. But I was pretty sure I'd sensed the stranger: skroges are great at smelling odours, but they don't emit them themselves. Absolutely not. Just as I reached the middle of the warehouse, my train of thought was interrupted by a knife stabbing me in the back. What the hell?! I reacted instantly. Pulling out the knife, I turned around. What I saw stunned me: standing in front of me was a skrooge, a viper like me. But he had an odour that wasn't ours.

- Come to Daddy, - I said to myself, kicking at him.

But he managed to dodge and run away from the warehouse. You want to run, don't you? Let's go for a run. He ran straight down the end of the corridor to the engine room. I ran out of the warehouse after him. When I opened the doors, I found no one again.

- Come on out, you fake. I'll get you from everywhere.

Somehow I had the feeling that this spy was someone's crooked attempt to recreate a member of our race. I padlocked the door so he wouldn't escape. Raising my head, I saw him on the wall: he instantly jumped at me and took an attempt to wound me again. However, I blocked all his blows, one after another. He still succeeded in stabbing me: but I was neither cold nor hot about it. He made a slash, knocking me to the ground. Without slowing down, I kicked him in the stomach, and he flew off, crashing into the wall. I picked up the dagger he'd dropped. Without wasting a moment, I grabbed him by the neck.

- Who are you? Where are you from?

There was no reply, as if he couldn't speak at all.

- Speak!

He was silent again 

How did they let this misunderstanding into such an important section of the ship?! Grote, you're the son of the filthiest whore. I stabbed him several times in the stomach with his own dagger, and he slid down the wall, holding his wound and coughing up blood. What is this travesty of a skroge? He can't even survive this. To hell with him. I heard a ticking sound - is there a bomb in here too?! I started looking everywhere for anything that looked like an explosive. I've looked everywhere. I've looked in every drawer, inside and out. I just don't have time for this. Even if I did find a bomb, it would hardly solve anything: I'm not a sapper, and there was an extremely small chance of coming across a primitive bomb that I could defuse. Suddenly, my hearing picked up a long squeak. Shit, we've got to get out of here before it's too late! I rushed out of the engine room straight down the corridor and to the right. Before I reached the exit to the second corridor, there was an explosion, and I was thrown forward about ten metres. I looked behind me: there was a big fire, but I couldn't stay here any longer. 

I received a serious burn. The skroge can withstand many wounds, including knife wounds and some gunfire, but fire, especially from an explosion, is devastating to us. My body was weakening, a hellish pain piercing through my entire body. It felt like hell, I couldn't even touch it, it felt like there was no skin there. Coughing and panting, I barely made it to the exit. As soon as I got out of there, I tried to catch my breath, but my eyes were blurry and I felt dizzy. Trying to stay on my feet, I eventually dropped dead. Before I fell into unconsciousness, I saw the soldiers running towards me.