Chapter 26

Father, his siblings and their direwolves rode for King's Landing. Jon saw as mother tried not to weep in front of grandfather and uncle Tyrion. The black haired man went to the kennels; Ghost and Land, the other pup would be there. The youngest wolf was wilder, did not have a master. Mother would pet him once in a while and he took a liking to her. She named him after their old ancestor, Lan the Clever. Father had not liked it but her remained quiet when mother glared at him.

Winterfell felt empty without all his siblings and the direwolves yapping. He did not feel comfortable returning to the castle yet. Grandfather did not like him much, that was plain evident. Father did not like grandfather. Tywin Lannister was a man to be feared, respected and held at bay. Mother did not seem to love her father. Uncle Tyrion hated him and uncle Jaime did not care for him either. Well, he did not know Jaime Lannister much. The knight was aloof and did not engage with any of his older nephews. He spent most of his time with Bran or in the Kingsguard. Jon did not believe his uncle liked the King much.

Jon was glad the royal party had left. He liked Gendry; he would make a good king, unlike his father who was but a drunken fool. Jon kept his musings quiet. He thought to the past two days. Arya would be queen. Jon did not know whether he liked the notion or not. He always thought Joanna would make a good lady not little Arya. She would not marry and stay in Winterfell with him. He had not been present when father gave consent for the prince to marry Arya but him and Robb had heard the King say, "You owe me this Ned. She was to be mine. I should have taken her before Rhaegar took her. I should have never listened to you."

Father had come out of his solar and with a frown on his face accepted the royal engagement.

Robb had been adamant in his wishes to know why Lord Stark acceded to such demands from the king. Father had not said anything. Robb had wanted to know what the king meant with his words. Jon understood, mother told him about aunt Lyanna and King Robert. All the Seven kingdoms knew about the King's devotion to the dead woman. Sometimes Robb was oblivious.

Jon laughed and walked the path to Winterfell, perhaps the next time he saw Robb he would be married man. Mother was to choose a wife for him. Jon was not so good with girls. He would miss his younger brother who always seemed to know how to break the ice and make sure the girls paid him as much attention as they paid Robb.

Lan and Ghost followed him inside the castle. Now that the princesses and the queen were gone mother would have no problem with the direwolves inside the halls. Queen Catelyn thought their direwolves were dangerous and wanted them away from her princesses. Jon nodded and made sure the direwolves stayed

"Jon." Uncle Tyrion drank wine with Rodrick by one of the hearths. "Come here boy." Jon meekly sat by his uncle. "Did I ever tell you when your uncle Jaime and I found those whores by Lannisport?" Rodrick laughed Jon listened and drank wine too. His uncle was funny and so full of stories. The perfect distraction for him now that Robb was on his way to King's Landing probably to fuck as many girls as he could without angering father and mother by default.

He was on his cups when he finally made his way to his quarters. Jon passed mother's quarters to wish her goodnight. He heard a disrupted conversation and his name.

"Jon is the heir apparent to Winterfell. My son will do very well, thank you very much father. I raised him to b e Lord." Mother hissed. Jon did not dare enter or make any sound. He listened attentively.

A man laughed derisively, "He is not your blood Cersei. He is not a Lannister." Jon's drunkenness evaporated, his heartbeat sped up and he felt an uncontrollable pain inside his belly. This had to be a mistake. He was her son. Jon leaned on the walls and waited to hear something that contradicted Tywin Lannisters words.

"He's a Stark. He is my son." Mother said as response.

Tywin Lannister laughed again. "Robb is your firstborn, as unfit as he is. He should be the heir to the North, not that boy who is nothing but a legitimized bastard."

"You shall not speak about Jon in that matter. He will be Lord of Winterfell. It does not matter if I am not his birth mother. He is Eddard's son, legitimized by king Robert and the rightful heir to Winterfell." The woman said with a hint of hostility in her voice.

"It was your duty to produce an heir. I thought you were smarter but you have failed at a simple task." Tywin said harshly. "I had many hopes for you and Jaime yet both are disappointments."

Jon was stunned leaning against the wall when mother left the quarters in a huff. They looked into each other's eyes. "Jon." She gasped and tried to touch his arm. Jon shrugged her off and walked opposite to his quarters.

"Jon, you must understand." She walked behind him trying to catch up with him but her skirts did not permit her the same skills.

Jon did not say a word. He was seething. He was not hers, it was clear and everything made sense then. He did not look anything like her. Even Arya had her cheekbones and expressions. Jon was said to be the same image as his father when he was young. Jon wanted to punch something, to let some of the anger out.

"Jon, please let me explain." She cried while trying to reach him. Jon pushed her without meaning to. The woman cried and stumbled to the floor. He crouched and tried to determine if she was hurt. Cersei Stark cried, real tears of anguish ran down her face. He remembered the last time he saw her like this.

Jon's first memory was of mother holding him close when father had gone to fight the Greyjoy rebellion. He remembered her sweet words and her cries. She had been pregnant with Robb and held him each night, her big belly between them. He kissed her face and her tears away. He felt an urge to cry and have her tell him lies. They had all been lies. He was not hers.

"You must get up Lady Stark." It was as if he had slapped her. The blonde woman gasped.

"Sweetling, don't call me that. I'm mother." She cried and hugged him tight.

He did not want to push her again but gently tried to keep away from her but the woman held onto him. They were by his quarters, the direwolves paced around them. Jon managed to push her back but Lady Stark would hug him again and ran her fingers through his hair as when he was a boy and had nightmares.

"I was pregnant with my first boy, Joffrey. Your father received a letter from Dorne. He went to get you. You were so little. He brought you here to raise." She said and her voice sounded rough.

"Joffrey was a stillborn, he never breathed. I cried for weeks and lost two more babies. You were a sickly child and cried every night. I refused to meet you when your father brought you but one night I was thirsty and came down to the kitchens. Your father does not know but I had had a miscarriage and I was desperate. I followed your cries. You were alone and crying your lungs out. I fell in love with you." She kissed his forehead. They were the same height now, or almost, mother was taller. Jon shook his head. She was not his mother.

"I nursed you. Jon, you are mine, my boy." Cersei Stark sobbed.

"I am not. Goodnight Lady Stark." He said roughly, she gasped and he was able to disentangle from her. Jon, with Ghost at his heels left to his quarters and did not heed any of her words.

Jon needed to be out of the castle. He needed to punch something. Do something. He left the castle and went to the nearby brothel; under normal circumstances Jon would have not entertained the idea of going alone but tonight he needed to pick a fight, to fuck a girl or do something equally distracting.

Ros was there. She had been his first; he had been hers too. She had been the baker's daughter until he sold her to the brothel. Jon drank two skins of wine before wrenching her from someone else's lap. "Fuck off boy." A big man said. Ros gasped. Jon tightened his hold on her arm. "My lord Stark." She said in an audible voice. The man backed down. "Forgive me m'lord."

Jon growled at the man, trying to goad him to a fight but Ros cupped him through his breeches and smiled at him. He would use her tonight. Jon Stark followed the red-haired whore to her bedroom and proceeded to fuck away the anger he felt. Ros did not seem to mind. She smiled at him and enjoyed herself but one never knew with whores.

He did not leave the brothel. He drank, he fucked her, he drank more, he fucked Ros some more. He paid the brothel's owner for Ros exclusively. It was the second day when uncle Tyrion burst into the room while he had Ros underneath him.

"Get up boy." Tyrion Lannister thundered. Ros startled but did not move from underneath him.

Jon saw as the dwarf handed Ros a pouch of coins. "We will appreciate your discretion. Leave." The man said kindly. Ros curtsied and left with the money.

"You have no right to barge in…" Jon started but did not get to finish.

"Wash and prepare to leave. We are going to Winterfell, as much as I would love to see the distaste in her face when she sees you in such state I prefer you clothed and clean.

"I don't have to do as you say." Jon said angrily.

"But you will because I am your elder and your uncle." The young man frowned. "You are not my uncle. I am a bastard; Lady Stark did not give birth to me."

Tyrion laughed cruelly. "She is your mother. My sweet sister is beside herself with worry. Imagine my surprise as we saw father off yesterday morning and you were not there to see your grandfather off. Cersei supposed you were sulking in your quarters as you are prone."

"I do not sulk." Jon scowled.

Tyrion smirked, "Your uncle Benjen and I are to leave in a few hours. Cersei finally admitted to me that you were missing. She tearfully explained the events of two nights ago. She has a bruise in her left cheek, an ugly one if I say so myself. I doubt your father will be happy when I write to him and explain that his heir hurt his mother and managed to make her cry and hug her dwarf brother." The little man said.

Mother hated uncle Tyrion. "My beloved sister hugged me and implored I returned her boy to her. So you will bathe, dress and we will leave for the castle within the hour."

"No." Jon said simply.

Tyrion then slapped him on the cheek. Jon was surprised and taken aback. "Your father should have put more sense into you. Get up, bathe and dress. I will wait outside. Do not make me slap you again. I rather like you nephew."

Jon did as he was bid, more out of shock than anything else. He blinked and followed his uncle out of the brothel and into Winterfell. Jon patted his horse and they galloped to the castle.

Tyrion remained quiet as they made their trek to the castle. Lady Stark was in the great hall. "Oh Jon." She said with tears in her eyes. Uncle Benjen was by her side, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Tyrion we must part now that Jon is safe and here." Tyrion nodded. "Well then dear sister."

Cersei kissed Tyrion's right cheek. "Thank you baby brother." She said. Jon saw the Imp's surprised face.

Jon blinked. "I'm going with you. I'll join the Night's Watch." He said convinced that it was his only option. He was not the rightful heir; he was a bastard. This was not his place it was Robb's place. Robb was supposed to rule Winterfell, not him.

Uncle Benjen frowned and looked at him. "This is not a decision to take lightly. Once you make your oath the only thing that releases you is death."

"You will not. Jon, stop this nonsense. You are the heir to Winterfell." Lady Stark announced.

Tyrion laughed. "This is nothing but a hissy fit thrown by a green boy. Let him march to the Wall and come back with his tail between his legs when his father sends back for him."

"Forgive me Lady Stark." Jon hissed and left to his quarter. He was a man grown and could forsake all his tittles if he so wanted.

His first thought had been to ride and reach father. Jon had wanted explanations, he wanted to confront honorable Ned Stark and ask him about his real mother and the circumstances of his conception and birth. He would go North instead with uncle Benjen.

Uncle Benjen strode in. "The Night's Watch is not for you. You are an heir, bred like one. Can you really see your brother in charge of Winterfell?"

Jon hurriedly bundled clothes into a rucksack. "People must have said the same thing about father. He was a second son after all. There is no place for me here. I cannot stand to look at her."

Uncle Benjen tried to get his attention. "Cersei is not a soft woman. Your mother…"

"She is not my mother." Jon growled.

Benjen Stark made him look at him. "You would have died without her." He did not want to hear it. He did not want uncle Benjen to convince him to stop.

"You were the smallest babe I had ever seen. I came home to get some men your father wished to spare for the wall. Your mother had lost a second babe; a girl. You cried all the time and did not drink any milk, not from cows, goats or any woman. You were wasting away. It was such a surprise when not half a year later I came back for more men and I saw you toddling around Cersei behind you worrying and trying to keep you from falling."

"It was the first time I had seen Cersei smile with such delight. She presented you as her son Jon. I met with your father that night and he explained that Lady Stark proclaimed you her son and the Seven Kingdoms believed her. No one dared contradict King Robert and his decrees. Young Eddard Stark married your mother and she gave you. Your mother died in childbirth. Of course all the Seven Kingdoms, including the queen believes you to be Cersei's blood."

"She's groomed Robb to have Casterly Rock. He will be able to handle Winterfell." Jon said with some conviction. He needed to switch the topic back to Robb and his new status as firstborn.

"Your uncle is the rightful heir and if he desires Robb will be his heir. You are Eddard's heir. I will not take you to the Wall, not because I do not think you'd do well but because you are choosing to make an oath out of spite. You want to hurt your mother and father, as you are hurting. You were bred to rule these lands. Robb does not love these lands as you do and why would he? He is not the heir, you are. Your father left this castle to you. You were to take care of your mother and Winterfell. Do not take the easy way out Jon. The Wall is not for you."

Jon dropped his clothes. If he left there would not be a Stark in Winterfell, not one by blood. He was a man grown, not a child and this was nothing but a hissy fit, his uncle Tyrion was correct.

"I apologize nuncle." Jon then walked out of his quarters, Ghost in tow. He went to the stables and mounted his steed. He left for the Godswoods. He needed space to think and put everything in order. His head ached from the wine.