In the dark

I believe I opened my eyes, but wasn't sure if I really did or not, for I could not see anything. It felt like complete darkness, to the extent that it didn't matter whether I kept my eyes open or not. I felt like I was lying on my back and I could hear the gentle sound of water from not so far away. I felt very tranquil and I thought I could just lie like this forever. After some minutes, I could see from the corner of my eye there was a source of light on my left side, which seemed to be getting brighter at a very slow pace.

I guess I died after that fall. Is this what people talk about when they say 'light at the end of the tunnel'? I suppose I should go through that. But as I tried to get up to head that way, I felt a bolt of pain shooting through my body.

Whoa, it hurts like fuck.

I always imagined, and people say, there would be no pain after you die. But this felt extremely painful. I tried one more time to get up, but started to feel anxious because who knows? If I don't get to that light I may not be able to transition through to the afterlife – or at least a blissfully permanent end of existence.

But it didn't work. It was so damn painful to move my body that I couldn't help but let out a scream.

"Oh you are up now"

A voice spoke in the dark.

"You recognize my voice?"

I was confused for a bit, not because I was unsure that this was Miya's voice, but because I was trying to make sense of how I was hearing Miya's voice when I was dead. Then it all clicked.

"Miya?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry you died with me... I didn't mean to bring you into this"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You jumped to save me, but we fell together, and now we are both dead"

Miya giggled instead of answering anything.

"Where are we now?"

"In my lodge"

Huh?

"You didn't die, you fool. You just hurt yourself badly and fell unconscious, I dragged you all the way back to my lodge. Man, that was troublesome"

"Oh… so you are saying, I just passed out?"

"Yup. I told you it's most likely you won't die from falling off that bridge. You are most likely to just hurt yourself and suffer with nothing gained"

"Ah fuck. You are right. My whole body hurts"

"As you know, I have no money to buy you food, let alone any medicine"

"I'm sorry to be a burden for you. I will leave as soon as I can get up again"

"I don't think you can, at least not for a while. Brace yourself because you will be here for a long time with me"

"Er… maybe, you could call an ambulance or something and get me to a hospital?"

Miya giggled.

"You want to live that bad?"

That stumped me for a bit.

"Actually, no. But it hurts. And I realize pain isn't nice"

"Yup. You have learned a valuable lesson. People talk about how painful something is when they are sad, but there is nothing, I mean really nothing, worse than physical pain. Crush some bones of someone having a heartache from a break-up and see what they find more painful"

"That sounds pretty harsh but you are probably right"

"See? There is more to life and death than how you feel in your heart. Killing yourself is not just about putting an end to your mind and heart. It's about turning your physically alive body into a lifeless meat. People talk about killing themselves, but technically it's about killing your body – it is a murder and most sane people are not so good at stomaching murder"

"A lesson learned, thank you, master"

Miya then said nothing and just patted my head. I was sure she was making some version of a satisfied face in the dark.