Chapter 9: This Venerable One Is Not An Actor

Chu Wanning's tastes were truly terrible.

Dry, tedious, despair-inducing.

Just look at the crappy books this shelf was stuffed with!

"Catalog of Ancient Barriers","Illustrated Archive of Unusual Flora",

"Linyi Rufeng Sect Zither Music Arrangement","Plant Collection". There were only a few books that counted as acceptable reading material, like "Bashu Regional Travel Guide" and "Bashu Recipes".

Mo Ran picked a few of the newer-looking books, the ones that Chu Wanning likely wouldn't read often, and doodled a bunch of porn on the pages.

As he drew, he thought to himself, heh, there are at least eight, if not ten thousand books here, who knows how long it would take for Chu Wanning to discover that a couple had been modified into forbidden books. By then, there would be no way to tell who had done it, and Chu Wanning would be stuck seething. He was really so unbelievably clever.

Thinking about it, Mo Ran couldn't help but snicker as he hugged the books in glee.

Mo Ran vandalized more than a dozen books without stopping, letting his imagination run wild and unconstrained, all kinds of erotic scenes appearing under his hand. His brushstrokes were alluring and elegant; the fabrics now clinging to the figures as if just rising out of water, then sweeping as if windblown. If someone were to borrow books from Yuheng Elder and just so happened to pick these, one could easily imagine the kind of rumors that would spread——

"Yuheng Elder is truly a two-faced beast, to insert erotic paintings of men and women between the pages of "Art of Meditation"!"

"Yuheng Elder is a fraudulent master who hides comics of homosexual obscenity in his sword technique manuals!"

"'Beidou Immortal' my ass! He's literally a beast in human clothing!"

The more Mo Ran thought about it the funnier it became, until he was rolling on the floor with laughter, holding his stomach and kicking his legs in glee. He was so absorbed that he didn't even notice when someone appeared at the library doors.

And so, the sight that greeted Shi Mei as he approached was that of Mo Ran, rolling in a pile of books, laughing as if he had gone mad.

Shi Mei: "…A-Ran, what are you doing?"

Startled, Mo Ran sat up in a hurry, frantically covering up all the lewd drawings and putting on a more presentable face. "W-wiping the floor."

Shi Mei held back a laugh. "With your clothes?"

"Ahem, I couldn't find a cleaning rag. Anyway, moving on, what are you doing here so late, Shi Mei?"

"I couldn't find you in your room, so I asked around and was told that you were at Shizun's place." Shi Mei stepped inside the library and helped Mo Ran clean up the books scattered all around on the floor, a gentle smile on his lips. "There wasn't anything else that needed doing, so I came to see you."

Mo Ran was overjoyed and overwhelmed. He pursed his lips; for some reason, his usual smoothness and charm were nowhere to be found, and he couldn't actually think of what to say right now.

"Then…um…then please have a seat!" Mo Ran spun excitedly in place, then said, a little nervously, "I-I'll go get some tea for you!"

"No need, I snuck here, there will be trouble if Shizun finds out."

Mo Ran scratched his head. "I guess…" Chu Wanning, that freak! I'll topple him sooner or later, and get out from under his thumb!

  "You probably haven't eaten yet right? I brought you dinner."

Mo Ran's eyes lit up. "Wontons?"

"Pfft, you're really not tired of them huh. Red Lotus Pavilion is a bit far, I was afraid the wontons would be all stuck together by the time I got here, so I didn't bring any. Here, see if this stir-fry is to your taste?"

Shi Mei opened the food box he brought, revealing the red-colored dishes inside. A plate of shunfeng pig ears, a plate of yuxiang pork strips, a plate of kungpao diced chicken, a plate of chopped cucumber, and a bowl of rice.

"Ah, you added peppers this time?"

"Just a little, so you don't go into withdrawal," Shi Mei said, smiling. They both loved spicy foods, of course he understood the concept of no spice no joy.

"But your wounds haven't fully healed yet, so I only put a little bit, just to add some flavor. Better than not having even a hint of red."

Mo Ran chewed on his chopsticks happily, dimples sweet like honey in the candle light. "Wah! I'm going to cry in gratitude!"

Shi Mei suppressed a laugh. "The food will be cold by the time you're done crying. You can cry after you've eaten."

Mo Ran cheered, chopsticks flying with impressive speed.

Mo Ran always ate like a starved dog; Chu Wanning hated the unseemly way he ate, but Shi Mei wouldn't mind.

Shi Mei was always so gentle, laughing and telling him to eat slower, while offering him a cup of tea. Before long, the plates were empty; Mo Ran patted his full belly with a content sigh, eyes happily squinted. "That hit the spot…..."

Shi Mei asked with an air of nonchalance, "Which tastes better, wontons or these dishes?"

When it came to food, Mo Ran was dedicated in the same way he was to his first love. He tilted his head, clear black eyes soft and fixed on Shi Mei as he grinned. "Wontons."

"..." Shimei shook his head, smiling. He spoke again after a while, "ARan, let me help change your bandages and apply new medicine."

The medicinal salve was made by Madam Wang.

Madam Wang had been a disciple of the medical sect "Guyue'ye"[18]; her martial aptitude was low and she disliked fighting, but she was fond of studying medicine. Sisheng Peak had an herbal medicine garden, and she had personally planted many precious herbs there, so the sect's supply of medicine never ran low.

Mo Ran took off his top and sat, back facing Shi Mei. The scars on his back still faintly hurt, but as Shi Mei's warm fingers gently rubbed in and spread the ointment, he gradually forgot about the pain, and started getting frisky thoughts instead.

"All done." Shi Mei wrapped new bandages around Mo Ran, and carefully tied a knot. "You can put your clothes back on now."

Mo Ran turned his head around to peek at Shi Mei. Under the dim yellow light of the candles, Shi Mei's skin was pale like snow. Mo Ran's desire flared up even more. His throat felt dry and he really didn't want to get dressed, but after a moment of hesitation, he still lowered his head and quickly draped his outer robe over his shoulders.

"Shi Mei."

"Mm?"

Just the two of them in this library, secluded and hidden. This mood was quite good. Mo Ran originally wanted to say some earth-shakingly romantic poetry, but unfortunately he was the kind of illiterate who could make even his own era's name something like "Cock". He choked on his words for a good while, until his face turned red, but only managed to choke out three words: "You're really nice."

"Don't mention it, it's just a matter of course."

"I'm also going to be really nice to you." Mo Ran carefully controlled his tone to be calm, but his palms were sweating non-stop, betraying the stormy waves in his heart. "When I become strong, I won't let anyone bully you. Not even Shizun."

Shi Mei didn't know why he was suddenly saying these things. He hesitated for a moment, but still gently replied, "Alright, then, I'll be counting on A-Ran from now on."

"Mhm…"

Mo Ran mumbled a response, but grew increasingly fidgety under Shi Mei's expressive gaze. He didn't dare to keep looking, and so lowered his head.

He was always meticulously careful toward this person, determined in his dedication.

"Ah, Shizun asked you to clean this many books? And catalogue them overnight too?"

In front of the person he liked, Mo Ran absolutely had to save face. "It's not too bad, I can do it, just gotta pick up the pace a little."

Shi Mei said, "Let me help."

"No way, if Shizun finds out, he'll punish you too," Mo Ran spoke resolutely. "It's getting late, you should go back and get some rest, we have class tomorrow morning."

Shi Mei held his hand, laughing softly. "Don't worry, he won't notice. We'll be super quiet...…"

He didn't even finish talking before an ice-cold voice spoke up.

"And what exactly are you doing super quietly?"

Without them knowing, Chu Wanning had come out from the machine room. His expression was cold, and his phoenix eyes were filled with endless frost. He stared at them without any expression on his face from where he stood at the door to the library in a thin layer of white robes. His gaze paused on their clasped hands for a moment before moving away.

"Shi Mingjing, Mo Weiyu, you've got some nerve."

Shi Mei's face paled instantly and he abruptly let go of Mo Ran's hand, saying in a small voice, "Shizun…"

Mo Ran also recognized that the situation was bad, and lowered his head, "Shizun."

Chu Wanning stepped inside, ignoring Mo Ran to look down instead at Shi Mei, who was kneeling on the floor. He spoke coolly, "There are barriers set throughout the Red Lotus Pavilion. Did you really think I wouldn't know if an unexpected guest came in?"

Shi Mei lowered his head to the floor, frightened. "This disciple was wrong."

Mo Ran panicked. "Shizun, Shi Mei just came by to help me change bandages, he was just about to leave, please don't scold him."

Shi Mei also panicked. "Shizun, this has nothing to do with Mo-shidi. This disciple was wrong, and is willing to accept punishment."

"..."

Chu Wanning's face was starting to turn blue.

He'd barely even said anything, and these two were already hurrying to try and cover for one another, as if he was some kind of scourge they had to band together against. Chu Wanning was silent for a while, managing to suppress the twitch of his eyebrows with some difficulty. He spoke in a detached manner, "Such compassion between fellow disciples, how touching. Looks like I'm the only bad guy in this room, then"

Mo Ran: "Shizun…"

"…Don't call me."

Chu Wanning shook out his wide sleeves, unwilling to keep talking. Mo Ran wasn't sure why he was so mad; maybe it was because he'd always hated people being touchy feely in front of him, no matter what kind of touchy feely, all of it dirtied his eyes.

The three people were quiet for a long while.

Chu Wanning suddenly turned to leave.

The rims of Shi Mei's eyes were red when he looked up, helpless and confused. "Shizun?"

"Copy the sect rules ten times. You can go back."

Shi Mei lowered his eyelashes, paused for a moment, and softly replied, "…Understood."

Mo Ran remained kneeling in the same spot.

Shi Mei stood up, glanced at Mo Ran, and hesitated. After a long while, he knelt back down to plead with Chu Wanning.

"Shizun, Mo-shidi's injuries have only just healed. Might this disciple be so bold as to beseech you to go easy on him."

Chu Wanning did not respond from where he stood alone under the lantern's flickering candle light. After a while, he turned his head toward them suddenly, sharp eyebrows lifted and eyes scorching, angry rebuke on his lips.

"Aren't you just full of nonsense. Still not leaving?!"

Chu Wanning was exceedingly handsome but completely lacking in gentleness, and even scarier when mad. Shi Mei shuddered fearfully and quickly left with a bow to avoid further provoking Shizun and bring Mo Ran even more trouble.

With only the two of them left in the library, Mo Ran secretly let out a sigh before saying, "Shizun, this disciple was wrong. This disciple will continue the cataloguing immediately."

Unexpectedly, Chu Wanning said, without even turning his head, "You can go back if you're tired."

Mo Ran's head snapped up.

Chu Wanning continued icily, "I won't keep you."

Why would he let me off this easily? It must be a trap!

Mo Ran thought himself clever. "I'm not leaving."

Chu Wanning paused, then smiled coldly. "…Fine, suit yourself."

Saying so, he swept his sleeves, turned, and left.

Mo Ran was stunned——it wasn't a trap? He'd thought for sure that Chu Wanning was going to give him another round of lashings with the willow vine.

It wasn't till well into the night that he finished. Mo Ran yawned, and left the library.

The night was already so late, yet a dim yellow light could still be seen from Chu Wanning's bedroom.

Eh? That pesky demon still hadn't gone to bed?

Mo Ran went over to bid Chu Wanning goodnight before leaving. Once inside, he noticed that Chu Wanning had already fallen asleep, it was just that the forgetful man had neglected to put out the candles before going to bed.

Or maybe he'd passed out from exhaustion in the middle of making something. Mo Ran figured that that was probably what had happened when he saw the prototype Holy Night Guardian pieced together by the bedside, the metal gloves that Chu Wanning hadn't taken off, and the half piece of mechanical clasp still tightly gripped in his hand.

Chu Wanning was not so harsh and cold when asleep. He was curled up on the bed that was stacked with machine parts, saws, and axes. There were too many things spread out everywhere and not much space left to accommodate a person, and so he was huddled up tightly, body hunched, long lashes lowered. The sight was unexpectedly lonely.

Mo Ran stared at him blankly for a moment.

Just what…had Chu Wanning been so angry about today?

Was it just because Shi Mei had trespassed on the Red Lotus Pavilion, and had tried to help him organize the books?

Mo Ran approached the bed and rolled his eyes. He leaned down near Chu Wanning's ear, and with a very, very quiet voice, experimentally called out, "Shizun?"

"…Mm…" Chu Wanning groaned softly, and hugged the cold machine parts in his arms even more tightly. He was in a deep slumber, breaths even. The sharp metal glove still on his hand lay next to his face, looking quite like the claws of a cat or leopard.

Seeing that he probably wouldn't wake up anytime soon, Mo Ran felt a jolt in his heart and narrowed his eyes, the corners of his lips curving into a mischievous grin. He hovered over Chu Wanning's ear, testing with a low voice, "Shizun, wake up."

"..."

"Shizun?"

"..."

"Chu Wanning?"

"..."

"Heh, he's really asleep." Mo Ran was delighted. He propped his arm next to the pillow and looked at him with a grin. "Perfect, I'll take this chance to settle the score with you."

Unaware that someone wanted to settle the score with him, Chu Wanning remained fast asleep, handsome features appearing quite peaceful.

Mo Ran assumed an imposing posture. Unfortunately he'd grown up in a pleasure house and didn't have much in the way of formal education, instead being more influenced by street arguments and folk stories. The phrases he cobbled together were thus especially lame and laughable.

"Chu Wanning, you audacious radical, you treacherous liar, you dare look down on your Honored Emperor, you…hmm, you…"

He scratched his head, having run out of words. Even when he'd become the emperor, the words that had came out of his mouth were either this bitch or that bastard. But these words seemed ill-unfitting for Chu Wanning.

He racked his brain for a good while before suddenly remembering something a big sister back at the pleasure house used to say. Although he wasn't too sure what it meant, it seemed ok enough. Brows twisted, he snapped:

"You fickle, ungrateful, despicable little donkey hoof, do you acknowledge your misdeeds?"

Chu Wanning: "..."

"If you don't speak, this venerable one shall consider it a confession!"

Chu Wanning let out another groan, perhaps disturbed by the noise, but continued to sleep while holding onto the machine parts.

"Your transgressions are grave; according to the law, this Venerable One sentences you…hm, sentences you to Zuixing[19]! Liu-gonggong[20]!"

Only after calling out of habit did he realize that Liu-gonggong was already a person of his past life.

Mo Ran contemplated for a moment, and decided to lower himself to act out the gonggong's part. So he responded in a flattering tone, "Your Highness, your old servant is present."

Then he cleared his throat and said solemnly, "Carry out the punishment immediately."

"As you command, Your Highness."

Alright, done with the formalities.

Mo Ran flexed his fingers and began to "carry out the punishment" towards Chu Wanning.

This so-called Zuixing didn't actually exist; Mo Ran had made it up on the spot.

Then how should this improvised punishment be carried out?

The once-tyrant emperor Mo Ran solemnly cleared his throat. Gaze cold and wicked, he slowly pressed in close to the face that looked frigid as a clear spring in a snowy valley, and gradually drew near that pair of light colored lips.

And then…

Mo Ran stopped. Glaring at Chu Wanning, he cursed, enunciating each word slowly,

"Chu Wanning, fuck you and your peerless pettiness."

Pa. Pa. 

Two slaps in the air.

Hehe, punishment complete!

Fuck yeah!

Mo Ran was in the midst of rejoicing when he felt a sudden prick in his neck and a change in the atmosphere. He looked down abruptly, and was met by a pair of cold and lofty phoenix eyes.

Mo Ran: "..."

Chu Wanning's voice was like the shattering of ice, hard to tell if it's more elegant or frosty. "What are you doing."

"This Venerable One…puh. Your old serv…puh puh puh!" Fortunately Mo Ran had spoken softly. Chu Wanning frowned a little, but seemed to not have heard. Struck by a sudden idea, Mo Ran reached out and slapped the air near Chu Wanning's face two more times.

"..."

Faced with his Shizun's darkening expression, the once-emperor of the world gave a mollifying grin. "This- this disciple was killing mosquitoes for Shizun."

Author's Notes:

Mo Ran

Courtesy Name: Weiyu

Posthumous name: His honorable big radish deity, homosexual purple longevity saint, squeaky spirit shizun thruster, certified shithead top thespian, general manager five thunder pinnacle big steamed man, stinky no shame realm, Taxian Emperor[21] Career: Emperor (dead)

Societal Image: Illiterate

Current Fav: Shi Mei

Fav Food: (hand crossed out) Chu Wanning (hand crossed out), Spicy Oil Wontons Dislikes: Being abandoned by others Height: 186 before death, this venerable one became a lively youth after reincarnation, maximum height has yet to be reached, why should it be announced publicly? Hmmph Hmmph!

[18] 孤月夜 Gu Yue Ye - Lonemoon Night [19] 嘴刑 lit. mouth punishment

[20] 公公 eunuch; royal servants were typically eunuchs in ancient China.

[21] 太上大萝卜天仙基佬紫长生圣吱昭灵捅师尊证王八攻戏精总管五雷轰顶大蒸人臭不要脸境界踏仙帝君... it's a multitude of puns on the taoist name of JiaJing Emperor