Chapter 78: This Venerable One's Shizun Has a Nightmare

Chu Wanning and Mo Ran spent the night in the same room. Mo Ran,

heedless, fell asleep on the floor in no time, but Chu Wanning's thoughts were restless and erratic, tossing and turning for a long time before finally dozing off into fitful slumber.

His eyes were closed, and he could hear the howling of wind by his ears.

Chu Wanning opened his eyes to find himself kneeling in the snow.

…...A dream?

But why did it feel so real, as if he had actually lived through it at some point.

It was the middle of winter, the sky dark and grey and heavy with clouds that stretched to the distant horizons and covered the land. The snow had piled up past the ankle, freezing the very ground itself, and even the thick cloak draped across his shoulders couldn't keep out the wintry bite.

Looking down, he saw a sky blue cloak lined with fur, sewn with intricate patterns in silver thread; it looked familiar somehow, but the feeling slipped away between one moment and the next.

"..." Chu Wanning tried to get up, unsure why he was having this kind of harrowing dream, but it was as if his body was not his own—he continued to kneel motionless on the ground, even when snow covered his shoulders and specks of ice stuck to his eyelashes, he still showed no intention of moving.

"Chu-zongshi, it's getting dark, His Majesty surely won't be seeing you today,

let's go back." The quivery voice of an elderly person came from behind.

The him in the dream didn't turn around, even as footsteps approached,

crunching through the snow, and an umbrella appeared above him.

Chu Wanning heard himself say: "Thank you, Liu-gong[3]. You're getting on in age, so please head back to the pavilion first, I'll be okay here." "Zongshi..." The elderly voice still wanted to say something, but Chu Wanning said: "Go on." The feeble voice sighed and heavy steps walked a few paces away, but then turned back around, and the umbrella reappeared over him.

"This old one will keep Zongshi company." Chu Wanning felt his eyes close in the dream, and nothing else was said.

It all seemed so strange, this ridiculous dream of his. The words they uttered were absurd, incomprehensible.

What was all this "His Majesty" and "Liu-gong" nonsense? These phrases of inner palace politics didn't belong in the cultivation world he knew.

He tried to look around at the surroundings of the dream through the lowered lashes of this body. The place looked Sisheng Peak, but some things were different.

The structures were more or less the same, but much more lavishly decorated. The corridors around the courtyard were draped with lilac-colored veils dotted in embroidered stars, and bells carved into the shape of dragons holding pearls dangled from the roofs, clear, crisp jingles dancing faintly through the air whenever a gust of wind blew past.

He was kneeling facing the main hall, where a row of guards, in uniforms that he had never seen before, was stationed in front. He wondered which sect they were from.

The sky gradually darkened, and a line of palace maids, with their hair done up in the traditional style, filed out from a side door to light the standing lamps on either side of the palace gate with fair, slender hands. The lamp was as tall as a person, with nine layers each including forty-nine haitang-shaped lamps hanging from slender copper branches. Candles at the centers of the haitangs glowed brightly, light scattering on the ground like the starry sky from above, illuminating the front of the palace in dazzling radiance.

Finished with her task, the head maid shot Chu Wanning a glare, malice in her voice as she smirked coldly: "It's freezing out here tonight, who are you putting on that pitiful act for? His Majesty and the Empress are currently delighting in the revelries, you can kneel there for as long as you like, no one is going to care."   How impudent!

All his life, no one had ever dared to speak to Chu Wanning like that. He opened his mouth angrily, but although the voice that came out was his own, the words spoken were not.

"I did not mean to interrupt his leisure, but I truly have important matters to discuss. Please inform him."   "Who do you think you are, why should I play messenger for you?" The head maid sneered, "His Majesty and the Empress are quite enjoying themselves right now, who would dare disturb them? You can stay right there if you really want to see His Majesty, maybe he'll spare you a glance in the morning, hmph." The old servant behind Chu Wanning couldn't take it anymore, saying in a quivery voice: "Yes, His Majesty favors your mistress, but shouldn't you still look at whom it is you're speaking to? Take at least some care in your words?" "Whom I'm speaking to? Who here at Sisheng Peak doesn't know that His Majesty hates him the most? What need is there to be respectful toward him!

Bold of you senile old fool to lecture me!" The head maid's eyes were wide with rage, ordering angrily, "Guards!" "What do you mean to do!" The feeble old man, back hunched from age,

stepped forward to block in front of Chu Wanning.

The palace maid glared at him and said coyly: "Extinguish the fire basins." "Right away!" Guards immediately went to the basins in the courtyard and put out the fires burning within.

Chu Wanning thought to himself that the maid had a sharp tongue, but she wasn't dumb after all. With the temperature being this painfully cold, she had no need to argue with them or do anything directly. She only had to put out the fire,

and the courtyard would be as an icy cavern, too cold for even the hardiest people to tolerate.

The night grew deeper, music and song drifting without cease from the warmly lit palace.

Chu Wanning was still kneeling. His legs had gone numb long ago.

"Zongshi... go back..." The old servant sounded like he was about to sob.

"Please go back, your body can't take this. You know how His Majesty is, if you fall sick from this, he probably won't even send a physician. You have to take care of yourself." Chu Wanning said softly: "This ruined body is hardly worth anything. I'm willing to die if I can just stop him from attacking Kunlun Palace."   "Zongshi! W-why go to such lengths..."   The Chu Wanning in the dream was already greatly weakened. He coughed a few times, but his eyes were still clear and bright: "Everything that he is today,

all of it was my fault. I... cough cough." He couldn't finish speaking before being overtaken by an alarmingly violent coughing fit. Chu Wanning covered his mouth with his sleeve, tasting iron in his throat. His hand was covered in blood when he pulled away, crimson against the snow white world.

"Chu-zongshi!" "I..." Chu Wanning still wanted to say something, but black washed over his vision and he collapsed into the snow, unable to hold on any longer.

There was a confused racket by his ear, a sudden chaos; but it also seemed so far away, as if separated by layers of fog, oceans apart, and he could barely hear the commotion around him.

Hazily, he heard the old servant yelling in a panic, but could only catch a few scattered words.

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty——please..." "Chu-zongshi, Chu-zongshi can't hang on much longer, please grant him an audience, this old one will gladly die——"   The disturbance grew and spread; footsteps came from all around, lights turned on.

The melody of instrumentals and the sweet voice of songstresses came to an abrupt stop. The palace gates seem to have been flung open, and there was a gust of warm, fragrant air from the inside. Chu Wanning felt himself being picked up and brought into the warmth of the palace hall. A large hand touched his forehead then immediately flinched away, as if stung.

A low, familiar voice bellowed dangerously.

"Why was this Venerable One not informed?" No one answered.

The man flew into a rage, and there was a loud crashing sound of something heavy being smashed. He continued to roar, voice booming like thunder inside the hall.

"Are you trying to defy me? He is the master of the Red Lotus Pavilion, this Venerable One's Shizun! And not a single one of you came to notify this Venerable One that he was kneeling outside? Why was this Venerable One not informed!!!"   Someone fell to their knees with a thud, trembling all over—it was the head palace maid who was flaunting about earlier.

"This lowly one deserves death, this lowly one saw that Your Majesty and the Empress were in good spirits, and dared not disturb..."   The man paced briskly back and forth a few times, but rather than subsiding,

his anger only grew worse. His black robes, trimmed with gold, billowed across the floor like a dark cloud before finally stilling, and his voice was twisted when he spoke again.

"His constitution is poor, can't take the cold. That you made him wait in the snow without informing me, and even... even put out the fire in the courtyard..." His voice shook with rage, and he drew in a deep breath before continuing.

The words he spoke next weren't loud, but his tone carried a killing aura that chilled those present to the bone.

"You wanted to kill him."   The maid went pale from fright, her head banging repeatedly against the ground until her entire forehead was blue and purple, voice pitches higher through her trembling lips: "No! No! This lowly one wouldn't dare! Your Majesty!

Please have mercy Your Majesty!"   "Take her to the Platform of Sin and Virtue and execute her." "Your Majesty! Your Majesty——"

The shrill voice scratched along the inside of his ears like blood red nails as the dreamscape began to shake and fall apart under her terrified shrieking, the scene scattering and disintegrating like the drift of snowflakes.

"Do you have any idea how much effort it took this Venerable One to drag him back from the gates of death. Aside from this Venerable One, no one is allowed to hurt so much as a finger on him..."   That hoarse voice was perfectly calm, that very calmness framing the frightening madness beneath.

Chu Wanning felt that person come closer and stop in front of him.

A hand gripped his jaw.

Blearily, he opened his eyes, trying to get a look at that person. Under the bright, dazzling lights, he saw a blurry face with strong, pitch-black brows, a straight nose, and eyes dark like the blackest satin, with a faint tinge of purple in the light of the candle.

"...Mo Ran?" "Shizun!" The voice was in sharp definition all of a sudden.

Chu Wanning's eyes flew open; he was still lying in the room at the inn, it was still dark outside, and a lone candle flickered on the table.

Mo Ran was sitting at the edge of the bed with one hand pressed against his forehead and the other braced on the bed, looking at him worriedly.

"What did I..." He felt all out of sorts; the dream had been far too real, and he couldn't quite break out of his daze for a while.

"You had a nightmare. You were shaking so much." Mo Ran said, tucking him in more, "You looked like you were freezing. I was worried you might be running a fever, but thankfully not." Chu Wanning uttered a quiet "oh" and turned to look at the slightly opened window. The sky was still dark outside, the night deep still.

"It was snowing in my dream." He murmured, but said no more.

Chu Wanning sat up, burying his face in one hand and taking a moment to steady himself before exhaling slowly: "Must've been too tired."   "I'll go make some ginger tea for Shizun." Mo Ran looked worriedly at the paleness of his face, "Shizun, you look terrible."   "..." Chu Wanning didn't respond, so Mo Ran sighed and, without really thinking,

instinctively pressed his own forehead against Chu Wanning's cold, sweatdrenched one.

"If you don't say anything, I'll take it as a yes." Startled by the sudden closeness, Chu Wanning reflexively leaned backward a little: "...Mn." Mo Ran, not quite awake, offhandedly stroked his hair like how he used to in the past life before pulling on his outer robe and going downstairs to borrow the kitchen. A little while later, he returned with a wooden tray.

Mo Ran wasn't heartless—Chu Wanning had rushed to the Peach Blossom Springs to save him, and had also gone to great lengths to protect him; no matter how much resentment he held toward this person before, right now, he was grateful.

The tray held a pot of steaming ginger tea and a small jar of brown sugar. He knew that Chu Wanning didn't like things with overly strong flavors, but quite liked sweet foods.

And, besides the ginger tea, he also got a mantou from the kitchen, sliced it into thin pieces, soaked in fresh milk then fried until crispy, and finished with a sprinkling of powdered sugar to make for a plate of simple light snacks.

Color gradually returned to Chu Wanning's face as he held a cup of ginger tea in both hands and sipped slowly from it. He picked up a piece of the sweet crispy mantou between porcelain-white fingertips and contemplated it for a while before asking: "What's this?" "I just threw something together, it doesn't have a name yet." Mo Ran scratched his head, "Try it, Shizun, it's sweet." Chu Wanning disliked fried foods, thinks them greasy, but hearing the word "sweet", still hel one to his lips and hesitantly took a small bite.

"Mm..." "Is it good?" Mo Ran asked experimentally.

Chu Wanning glanced at him and said nothing, but picked up another piece to eat with the ginger tea.

The pot of tea and plateful of snacks quickly disappeared, the remnants of the nightmare also dissipating like smoke in this warmth. Chu Wanning yawned and lay back down: "I'm going back to sleep." "Hang on." Mo Ran lifted his hand to wipe at the corner of Chu Wanning's lips, "You got some crumbs there." "..." Looking at that open smile on his face, Chu Wanning's ears felt a little warm despite himself. He turned his face away with a "mn" and paid no more heed to him.

Mo Ran collected the dishes and went downstairs to return them. When he came back, he saw Chu Wanning lying on his side facing the wall, perhaps already asleep.

He walked up and quietly put the curtain down, but Chu Wanning suddenly spoke: "It's cold at night, don't sleep on the floor anymore." "Then..." Chu Wanning, with his long eyelashes lowered, really wanted him to stay, but the words "sleep up here" just wouldn't come out, even as the tips of his ears kept getting warmer and warmer.

He cared for him and so didn't want him to sleep on the floor, but he also liked him and didn't want him to leave.

But his face was so thin, and he well knew that even if he did manage to get the words out, he will surely just be rejected, and then both his dignity and his veneer will be forfeit; even just thinking about it made him feel pathetic.

Things were so much easier as Xia Sini; little ones were allowed to be a little willful.

——But Mo Ran had been good to him today, even remembering that he liked a lot of brown sugar in his ginger tea. Was it okay for him to think that,

maybe, Mo Ran actually does care for him a little bit...

The thought made Chu Wanning's chest warm, and he blurted it out in a moment of hotheadedness.

"Come sleep up here."   "I'll go see if they're done yet, and go back to my own room if so." They spoke at practically the same time, and Mo Ran didn't fully process Chu Wanning's words until after he had already finished speaking. His eyes widened slightly when he did.

"Sounds good." Chu Wanning concurred instantly, as if rushing to cover up what he had just said.

"Go on." "Shizun, you..." "I'm tired, you can leave." "...Alright. Rest well, Shizun." He left, the door creaking open and then shut.

In the darkness, Chu Wanning opened his eyes. His heart raced in his chest,

and his palms were covered with sweat, humiliated by his loss of self control just now.

He really had been alone for too long, to mistake just a tiny bit of kindness and care from someone else as sincere tenderness.

Like an idiot.

Irritated, he turned over and buried his face into the pillow, sinking into a bottomless self-loathing. He was well aware that Mo Ran liked Shi Mingjing, that there was nothing between them but the distant politeness of master and disciple, yet...

That person from the dream appeared unbidden in his mind.

The same exact face, only older.

The way he had looked at him with a surly expression and eyes too deep to read.

The door opened again with a creak.

Chu Wanning froze immediately, his entire back going stiff, like a bow stretched taut.

Someone came over to the bed. There was a moment of silence, then he felt that person sit down at the edge, bringing with him the light scent of freshly laundered clothes.

"Shizun, are you asleep?" No response.

So Mo Ran continued, voice even like he was discussing the weather:

"They're still at it." He chuckled softly and lay down next to Chu Wanning with his head propped up on one arm, gaze sweeping over the other person's back as it  very obviously and visibly tenses several degrees more.

"Is Shizun's offer from earlier still open?" "..." "Shizun sure likes to ignore people. If Shizun doesn't say anything, I'll just take it as a yes again." "...Hmph." Mo Ran's eyes curved into little crescents, black-purple and flickering with amusement at the cold hmph that came from the other side of the bed.

If doting on Shi Mei was his habit, then teasing Shizun was a game he never tired of.

He never could figure out just what it was he felt toward Chu Wanning; all he knew was that this person made his heart itch, made him want to bare his fangs and bite him until he either starts crying or starts laughing——although it was just wishful thinking for the most part.

But whenever that face, ever cold and impassive, showed some slightest bit of emotion because of him, Mo Ran would get fervently excited.

"Shizun." "Mn." "Nothing, just felt like calling you."

"..."

"Shizun."

"Out with it if you have something to say, shut up if not." "Hahaha." Mo Ran laughed, then suddenly thought of something and asked,

half joking half serious, "I was just thinking, but Xia-shidi and Shizun really are far too alike. Shizun, is he your son?"   "......" Chu Wanning had gone through far too much emotional turmoil for one night,

and was in a sulky mood. To suddenly have Mo Ran make fun of him like this, he couldn't help feeling irritated.

"Pfft, I was just messing with Shizun, don't min——" "Yes." Chu Wanning answered cooly, "He's my son." Mo Ran was still grinning: "Oh, that's what I figured, so he's your son—— WAIT!! SON???!?!" His eyes flew wide open as if he'd been struck by lightning, mouth hanging open in disbelief.

"S-S-S-S——SON?"   "Mn." Chu Wanning rolled over and pinned Mo Ran with a deadpan gaze, his face deadly serious and without the slightest hint of jest.

He had blundered too much tonight, and worried that his facade might not hold. Since Mo Ran wanted to make this joke, he might as well take the chance to muddy the waters, whatever it takes to make sure Mo Ran doesn't find out that he likes him.

Thinking so, Chu Wanning calmly picked up the pieces of his dignity that he had dropped earlier, and said with all seriousness: "Xia Sini is my illegitimate child, even he himself doesn't know about this. As of right now, this is a secret known by the heaven, the earth, you, and me. If ever a third person were to find out, I will absolutely end you."   Mo Ran: "..."

Author's Notes:

Meh QAQz It's so cold of late, don't catch a cold, comrades.

So let's look at how everyone keeps warm~ 0.5 Mo Ran: Chu Wanning, come here and let this venerable one hug you for a while.

Chu Wanning: Don't you have a queen?

0.5 Mo Ran: Men, drag the queen away and fry her alive.

Chu Wanning: ...

0.5 Mo Ran: It's only you now, come here and warm this venerable one up.

Chu Wanning: Cold-blooded demon, scram!

1.0 Mo Ran: It's so cold, I want to be warm, why is no one looking after me…

I'll drink more hot water, then.

2.0 Mo Ran: It's nothing, I can bear it.

Xue Meng: Cold? Nothing of the sort, I'm young and virile.

Shi Mei: It's so cold...you should wear more layers, Young Master and A-Ran *huff...*

Chu Wanning: ［This person is extremely afraid of the cold, and is hiding in his blankets, refusing to come out ］....Whoever said that the lower cultivation realm provided warmth is a shameless liar!

[3] A 公公 gonggong, suffix -公 gong, is a court eunuch