Chapter 83: This Venerable One Wants You

>>noncon kissing, noncon mention

The unhinged thought made Mo Ran see red. Reason had left him, and he shook uncontrollably as his hand tightened around Chu Wanning's throat, pressing for a response in a low-pitched roar.

If he says the rest of it, if he says "in life or in death." Then definitely...

definitely...

"Ngh!"

A stifled groan sounded by his ear; Chu Wanning couldn't breathe, his face flushed from the lack of air as his struggles grew weaker.

Mo Ran stilled, madness and clarity chasing one another across his redtinted, wide-open eyes before he abruptly snapped out of it and hastily let go.

Chu Wanning slumped heavily back onto the bed, the five stripes of fingershaped bruises stark against his neck gradually calling Mo Ran back to his senses.

"..." He opened his mouth, wanting to call 'Shizun', but it wouldn't come out; he tried to say 'Chu Wanning', but his voice failed him there too, until finally,

hesitantly, he uttered hoarsely, "You..." His throat felt parched, as if scorched by fire; Mo Ran swallowed with difficulty while picking up the scattered pieces of his rationality, scenes from yesterday flashing before his eyes: Chu Wanning has never acted strangely in this lifetime, there's no way he was reborn.

But then why would he say those words—his dying words in the past life, "it was I who wronged you"—now, at this time?

Weren't those words that Chu Wanning had uttered only to save Xue Meng,

to save those sanctimonious cultivators, empty words that he had said only because he had no other choice?

He had never believed, never wanted to believe that Chu Wanning would genuinely admit his wrongs to him, that he would actually say something softly compassionate to him. No matter what, Chu Wanning was definitely lying to him,

he definitely detested him. No matter what, this Shizun of his had always looked down on him, had never treated him with sincerity.

He didn't regret killing him at all.

He didn't regret...

Mo Ran turned away, slowly closing his eyes.

He didn't want to stay here even a single second longer; what did it matter to him if Chu Wanning lives or dies!

He turned to leave.

He wanted to leave.

But his feet refused to move.

It was I who wronged you.

In his memories, that cold, handsome face, covered in blood as it was, had looked gentle in the very end. At the edge of Kunlun's Heavenly Lake, that person, lying in a pool of blood, had slowly lifted a hand and poked his forehead;

his fingers were already ice-cold, yet there was warmth in those phoenix eyes.

But Mo Ran had been sure, back then, that he was only seeing things.

I won't blame you, in life or in death.

Chu Wanning had whispered, even as a trail of blood dripped slowly from his eyes.

"Mo Ran..."   The person on the bed murmured in his dream; just two quiet syllables, and the person being called began to tremble all over. By the time he realized what was happening, Mo Ran was already standing at the side of the bed, one hand braced against the headboard as he leaned over Chu Wanning, staring fixedly at his pale face.

Those thin, lightly colored lips opened slightly in another utterance.

"Mo Ran..." Closing his eyes, Mo Ran drew his brows tightly together as his fingers dug into the cold, hard surface of the quince wood, as if trying hard to restrain something. But he couldn't in the end, and it came out in a raw whisper: "Chu Wanning, did you mean it?" "Everything that you said, did you mean it all...?"   His chest hurt so much it felt like it might burst; since there's no way Chu Wanning was also reborn, then for him to say these words now, it must mean that, at this point in time, he already feels remorse in his heart that he hadn't treated him right.

Did he mean it?

Chu Wanning was only talking in his sleep, of course he wouldn't answer.

But still, Mo Ran waited wishfully for one.

"..." He waited with his eyes closed for a long while, but there was only silence.

Mo Ran sighed quietly and reluctantly opened his eyes.

Only to be met unexpectedly by a pair of hazy phoenix eyes, half-lidded between wakefulness and slumber.

He didn't know when Chu Wanning had opened his eyes, but it was clear from his face that he wasn't truly awake and aware, that it was only a momentary stirring between bouts of torment. That pair of eyes the color of the night sky were vacant and glazed, as if they held eternity within.

Yuheng of the Night Sky was always piercing as lightning; he rarely ever looked so dazed.

Without those habitual sharp edges of his, the person lying there looked so unexpectedly beautiful, the corners of his eyes tinged with a faint redness,

looking at him so unguardedly.

Mo Ran felt a violent tremor in his heart and a tightness in his throat; voice low, he murmured: "You..." He looked much too like the way he had when they made love in the past life; something stirred inside Mo Ran, and for a moment he felt as if he was still at Wushan Palace, and Chu Wanning was his prisoner, his personal plaything.

The thought made his mouth feel dry and his breaths grow heavy.

I can't...

I don't like him.

Don't touch him anymore.

The sins of the bygone life are already in the past; in this life, we're nothing more than master and disciple.

And so Mo Ran stayed as he was, looking down at Chu Wanning with one hand braced against the headboard, holding himself back from crossing that line.

His hair pooled over his shoulder from where it was tied back in a ponytail, the tips brushing against the pillow.

Chu Wanning lay there fully dressed with his long hair spread loosely about him. His expression was dazed and insensate at first, and some time passed before Mo Ran's reflection slowly appeared in his eyes. Chu Wanning hesitated,

and then, as if still caught in the clutches of the nightmare, unable to discern the when and the where, he reached out slowly with a hand, paused in mid air for a moment, and at last touched Mo Ran's brow.

"It was I who wronged you..."   He spoke the words with an uncharacteristic gentleness, the way he had in the past life.

Mo Ran felt something inside him collapse with a thunderous boom.

Blood boiling and head feverish, all the sense and rationality he had worked so hard to retrieve fell apart in a mere instant. Without even thinking about any of it, he had already given in to that familiar desire, leaning down and ravenously capturing those slightly parted lips in his own. Instantly, the past came crashing back like a wave, melting away the surroundings like snow and frost. He felt as if he was back at Wushan Palace, amidst silky red satin, illuminated by the light of candles gilded with dragon and phoenix, and, beneath the red draperies, this person was struggling and spitting curses, panting and humiliated yet unable to get away, helpless against his unyielding grasp.

"Nn..." The noise that Chu Wanning let out between the slide of warm wetness drove Mo Ran mad. All that about not liking him, hating him, and not touching him again, all of it vaporized into thin air.

Mo Ran felt as if he hadn't yet died, that the lightly trembling body beneath his still belonged to him.

He wanted to kiss him, to hold him, to humiliate him and torment him until this lofty, immaculate person is unable to take any more, until he cries and begs and loses himself between the sheets.

"Chu Wanning..." He murmured hoarsely.

A wave of heat rolled through him, washing over his very soul; even the tips of his fingers felt like they were on fire.

Once again closing his lips over those cool, soft ones, still tasting slightly of the medicine's bitterness, the beating of his heart was like the thundering of drums inside his chest as he kissed with abandon, mad with desire. He knew this person through and through; since his rebirth, he had been loath to be intimate with him because of the resentment he held, but, kissing him now, it felt like pure ecstasy, a high so intense it ate away at him, like the first taste of sweet dew on the tongue of a traveller dying of thirst in the desert, like being enveloped in the soft warmth of a fur coat warmed over the fire pan in the bitter cold of a freezing night.

He thought that he would surely have nothing to do with him in this reborn life.

He hadn't expected to lose to his desires in the end, to be driven out of control by just a few words from him, to be kissing him like this.

If not for the fact that he just couldn't get Chu Wanning's robes open, and got pricked by something falling out of his robes while trying, he might have given in and taken his Shizun right then and there without any thought, consequences be damned.

Clang!

Something metallic pricked Mo Ran's finger and fell on the bed, rolling a little before coming to a stop.

Mo Ran was far too turned on to mind the scratch, only throwing an irritated glare at the object before turning back to Chu Wanning's ridiculous robes. It was one thing when he kept his distance and didn't touch, but now that he was on top of him, the feelings from his past life came rushing back, and just the thought of how Chu Wanning's smooth, narrow waist had felt under his hands made him feel unbearably hot and heavy.

But Chu Wanning's silken white robes were impossible to get off, almost like they were enchanted with some kind of spell!

Mo Ran cursed under his breath and slammed his fist against the headboard before resentfully climbing off the bed to go fetch his blade to make short work of that thrice-wrapped belt sash.

As he was sitting up, he saw that metallic object out of the corner of his eyes.

He didn't pay it any mind at first, but then a bolt of clarity flashed suddenly through his arousal-addled mind.

He stilled, then his head snapped around to look at that thing again.

It was a golden hair clasp, vibrantly colorful and decorated with orchids and butterflies. The very same one that he had bought for Xia Sini at the Peach Blossom Springs after days of saving up his feathers.

He had personally pinned it to Xia Sini's ponytail to cheer up his sullen little shidi, saying: "Little kids should wear lively colors like gold and red."   Mo Ran picked up the hair clasp, feeling like he had been doused in cold water, staring at it in a stupor.

Hang on…...what does this mean?

Why would Chu Wanning have something that he gave to Xia Sini?!

Could it be…...

A frightening thought appeared in Mo Ran's mind. He turned around slowly,

and his gaze, still dark with desire, landed on Chu Wanning. His Shizun had passed out again; Mo Ran stared at his face, looking at those lips reddened from his kisses, and his heart skipped a few beats.

No way, absolutely not.

He must be out of his mind...

Was Chu Wanning not just messing with him?

Is, is…...Xia Sini——seriously Chu Wanning's son?

Mo Ran shuddered at the thought, feeling like his head was about to explode!

Author's Notes:

Weiyu 🐟: (raising his hand) Can't have a home run? I protest.

Chu Wanning: Protest ineffective, keep dreaming.

Xue Meng: Protest ineffective, keep dreaming.

Meatbun: Protest ineffective, keep dreaming.

Jinjiang Administrator: Protest ineffective, keep dreaming your impossible dreams.