Chapter 101: Shizun, the Last Flame in This World
Mo Ran said nothing for a long while. Then he smiled brightly.
"A pavilion serving only one master is a good tale, huh. Well said." His shapely feet trod casually across the ice cold surface of the stone floor,
the blue vein on top flexing as he came to a stop in front of Song Qiutong.
Then Mo Ran lifted one foot and tipped Song Qiutong's chin up with his toes,
forcing her to look up at himself.
"You've been keeping all this bottled up for quite a while, hm?"
He looked at her frightened, panicked face with a smile. "Empress Song, you know, there were a number of things in the past that I never asked you about.
Since you're feeling so generous with these words from the bottom of your heart today, why don't we just just it all out, hm? Come, let's have a nice chat." "Let's start with the most recent one. The day I went to Taxue Palace, I clearly remember locking Chu Wanning in the sleeping palace before leaving. So tell me, how did he appear at Kunlun Mountain? Just who let him out and allowed him to come find me?" Song Qiutong's entire body shuddered. She said, "I don't know!" She was in such a panic to explain herself that she even forgot to say "this one", slipping into "I" instead.
Mo Ran said with a smile, "Alright, you don't know about this one. Next one,
then. That year, when I made you empress, I also assigned you to manage Sisheng Peak. And then I had to go to Yin Mountain afterwards to take care of some stuff. Chu Wanning was being disobedient at the time, so I had him locked in the water prison to reflect on himself…" Song Qiutong's face grew pale as he brought up this matter, and her lips began to quiver.
"Using prison inspection as an excuse, you went to visit him, but were thoroughly scorned by him…" "Y-yes," Song Qiutong said hurriedly, "but Your Majesty… A-Ran, I've already told you about this incident back when it happened, Chu-zongshi had told me to get lost in such a disparaging manner, and then even proceeded to insult not only myself but Your Majesty as well. I couldn't hold back my anger at the time…
I…" "This Venerable One knows," Mo Ran smiled faintly. "You couldn't hold back your anger at the time, but Chu Wanning had committed grave crimes, and his punishment couldn't be arbitrarily increased without this Venerable One's permission. So you carried out a minor discipline, had all ten of his nails pulled out and stinging thorns inserted into the tip of each finger." Song Qiutong's eyes were filled with panic as she scrambled to say, "Your Majesty, you praised me for doing well when you returned!" Mo Ran smiled, "Oh...? Did I?" "You… you said that those with a foul mouth should be treated exactly so,
and you even told this one that the punishment was a bit light, that if he speaks rudely again in the future, to… to break his fingers…" Her voice trailed off as she spoke until, in the end, looking at the terrifying smile on Mo Ran's face, she collapsed to the ground with tears in her eyes. "A-Ran…" Mo Ran let out a soft sigh. He smiled, "Qiutong, that was so long ago, this Venerable One no longer remembers what he said or didn't say back then." "..." She had already guessed Mo Ran's intention just now, but her body still shuddered violently at his words.
"This Venerable One's been having dreams lately. Dreams about that day,
returning from Yin Mountain and going to the water prison to find him with both hands festered and covered in blood…" Mo Ran spoke slowly, but his voice suddenly tightened toward the end, and a cold light flashed in his eyes. "This Venerable One was not happy."
Song Qiutong said helplessly, "Your Majesty, Your Majesty… no, A-Ran… let me explain… please calm down and let me explain…" "This Venerable One was not happy." But Mo Ran only continued on as if he had heard nothing, lowering his face,
devoid of any expression, to look cooly at the woman huddled on the floor.
"Indulge me a bit, won't you?" His expression like frost and snow, paired with such a haughty request, gave Song Qiutong goosebumps and made her scalp go numb in spite of all her years at his side with her life on the line like cohabiting with a ferocious tiger. She could smell the scent of the coming storm. Lifting her dark brown eyes, she looked meekly up at him as she crawled over and nestled by his ankles.
"Of course, anything A-Ran says. What can I do to make A-Ran happy? I'll definitely… definitely…" Mo Ran leaned over and grabbed her jaw, forcing her face upwards.
He put on a lovely, innocent smile.
Just like the one he wore back when he first saw her at Rufeng Sect,
showing twin pools of sweet dimples as he pulled at her sleeve and said, "Little shimei, what's your name? ...Aiyah, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. Talk to me,
okay?" She shuddered.
After so many years, with practically the same expression and the same tone, he said something else altogether.
He said, sweetly and gently, "Qiutong, this Venerable One knows you mean it, that you'll do anything to make this Venerable One happy…" His fingertip caressed her soft lips.
The part of her that looked most like Shi Mingjing.
Mo Ran's eyelashes trembled slightly as he stared calmly at that pair of petal-like lips. In the end, he said, "Then go wait for this Venerable One on the road to hell." "!!!" Gently, he asked, "Okay?" Tears welled past Song Qiutong's eyes immediately, not out of sadness, but out of fear. She already knew, as soon as Mo Ran brought up her abuse of Chu Wanning back then, that it wasn't going to end well for her, but the most she thought it'd be was punishment by the rod or losing her title; she never, not even with all of her courage, thought that Mo Ran would actually…
That he'd actually! That he could actually bear to!
He... he…
Madman.
He's gone mad...he's gone mad...
Mo Ran threw his head back and began to laugh in a low voice, his laughter growing increasingly more arrogant and unrestrained. He laughed as he kicked open the door of the sleeping palace, laughed as he strode outside.
He had always tread with abandon, had trampled countless lives, and now it was her turn.
He's gone mad...he's gone mad!!!!
Mo Weiyu has gone mad!!!!
Song Qiutong collapsed to her knees on the floor of ice-cold stone and golden bricks. The passion of intimacy within the sleeping palace had not yet dissipated, but the fires of hell had already began to burn. With her mouth hanging open and she head tilted back, she struggled to look at the sky outside the palace.
It was the break of dawn, and the sky was the color of blood.
Dying red her bloodshot eyes.
In the distance, she heard Mo Ran call, as casual as if he was ordering dinner for the day.
"Guards, take the empress away." "Your Majesty——!" Came the panicked reactions of the retinue outside.
"Your Majesty, this…" "Toss her in the cauldron, fry her alive." Song Qiutong suddenly couldn't hear anything anymore, like she had sunken deep into the sea, couldn't hear anything anymore.
"Fry her alive. Fry her alive, it'll be a lively good time that way.
Haha...HAHAHA…" He walked further and further away, but the sound of his laughter and shouting lingered over Sisheng Peak like an overflying eagle for a long time.
The rising sun cast a long shadow behind him, a lonely figure on the ground.
Slowly, slowly, he walked.
At first, there almost seemed to be the silhouettes of two youths standing with him, and a tall man in white robes.
Then the two silhouettes disappeared, leaving only the white robes to accompany him.
He kept walking, and the white-robed man also disappeared into the golden dawn.
The rising sun was pure and unblemished, and it took away those who were similarly pure and unblemished, leaving only him alone in hell, in an ocean of blood, sinking into the masses of ghosts and fiends.
Leaving only him, all alone, getting lonelier and colder the further he walked.
He walked until he felt like he was already dead, that he had already died…
Becoming more and more deranged the further he walked.
Mo Ran remembered, during the year before he took his own life, that when he looked into the copper mirror, he couldn't even recognize the monster staring back at him sometimes.
He even remembered the night before he died, when he sat inside the bamboo pavilion at the Red Lotus Pavilion, with only an old servant keeping his company.
He had lazily asked that old servant, "Liu-gong, what kind of person did this Venerable One used to be?" He continued on without waiting for an answer, staring at his reflection in the pond.
"This Venerable One didn't used to wear his hair like this when he was young, much less this tasseled crown, right?" Liu-gong answered with a sigh, "It is as Your Majesty said. The crown and hairdo were at the recommendation of Empress Song after your accension to the throne." "Oh, you mean Song Qiutong?" Mo Ran sneered and tipped his head back to take a drink of pear blossom white. "Did I really used to listen to her suggestions?" Maybe because the end was near, and there was no more need to worry about accidentally prickling the emperor's sore spot with a stray word and losing his head, but the drooping old man spoke the candid truth.
With his eyes downcast and his hands tucked into his sleeves, Liu-gong said, "Yes, when Your Majesty first ascended the throne, Empress Song was quite favored. There was a period of time when Your Majesty did everything the Empress asked, did… Your Majesty forget all of it?" "Forget?" Mo Ran chuckled. "I didn't forget. How could I possibly forget…" After he'd married Song Qiutong, someone had leaked her the info that the reason he favored her was due solely to her likeness to the deceased Shi Mingjing.
She was a clever person, so she spared no effort looking into Shi Mei's mannerisms and bearing, subtly exhibiting the same in their daily life as husband and wife, making it seem almost like the dead had come back.
How could he possibly forget.
Mo Ran smiled mirthlessly, then suddenly took the crown from atop his head and tossed it into the pond without even looking. Startled koi fish leapt from the water, and the person reflected in the water became warped and distorted.
Thus distorted, he undid his topknot and let down his inky hair. He learned by the pondside, letting the rippling, sparkling waters light up his face in a mercurial light.
"There we go. The crown's gone, and the hair's down. Old Liu, help me think,
what does this Venerable One still need to return to his appearance before the enthronement?" "Um…" "A hair tie, right?" Mo Ran looked at his reflection as he said. "That blue hair tie commonly worn by the disciples of Sisheng Peak. Are there any left in the palace?" "There is. Your Majesty charged this old one with the safekeeping of the disciple uniform you shed when you ascended to the throne. This old one will go bring it over if that's what Your Majesty wishes." "Excellent. Go on, bring the whole set along with the hair tie." Liu-gong left and returned with a stack of old clothes in hand. Mo Ran sat up,
and when the tips of his fingers touched the cotton and hemp texture, pieces of the past fluttered up like dried leaves to land on his heart that was full of holes.
In a moment of excitement, he picked up an outer robe and tried to put it on.
But the clothing of his youth was already far too small, and it wouldn't fit no matter how hard he tried.
He flew into a rage.
"Why doesn't it fit! Why can't I go back!!!" He paced like a beast trapped in a cage, madness in his expression, eyes flickering with a dangerous light.
"This is this Venerable One's clothing!! Is this this Venerable One's clothing???!!!! Did you fetch the wrong set!!! If it is this Venerable One's clothing, then why would it not fit!!!!!!! Why would it not fit——!!!!"
The old servant was already used to seeing his master in the grip of madness like this.
He used to think that Mo Ran was terrifying like this. But today, for some reason, he felt that he was pitiful instead.
He wasn't looking for clothes—he was looking for himself, the him of the past that could never come back.
"Your Majesty," the old man sighed faintly, "let it go; you're not that young man of the past anymore." "..." Mo Ran was in the middle of raging, and, hearing these words, his head whipped around fiercely to glare at the old man's withered face. But it was as if he was choking on something, unable to get a single word out, only breathing harshly with red-rimmed eyes. A long time passed before he finally spoke, "I'm not…?" "You're not." "...I can't go back?" "You can't go back." For the first time, a childlike helplessness appeared on the face of that thirty two year old man. He closed his eyes, the jut of his throat bobbing. The old servant stood to the side with his head lowered, thinking that, once he opens his eyes, he'll surely snarl with his fangs out and shred everything before him.
But when Mo Ran opened his eyes again, there was a wetness in them.
Perhaps it was this wetness that put out the inferno in his heart.
Mo Ran opened his mouth and, in a voice that was hoarse and weary,
murmured, "I see… I see… I can't go back… I can't go back…" He put down the robe as if exhausted, sat down by the stone table, and buried his face in his hands.
A long while passed before he said, "Then I'll just tie my hair up." "...Your Majesty...why do all this…" "This Venerable One's life will end soon, don't want to be too lonely when the time comes." He kept his face in his hands as he spoke, his expression indiscernible. "I just want to change my clothes and feel like there are still old friends for company." Liu-gong sighed, "That's just make-believe." "Make-believe is fine." Mo Ran said.
"Make-believe is better than nothing." He pulled his long hair back, wrapping the hair tie around it once, twice.
Then he picked up a hair clasp with faded edges from the pile of old clothes,
thinking to clip it to the side of his hair like he used to when he was young, but then, looking at his reflection in the water, his hand stilled.
Which side was it on again, the left or the right?
He hadn't used this hair clasp for so long that he could no longer remember.
Mo Ran closed his eyes, asking, "Old Liu, do you know how I used to wear my hair?" "To answer Your Majesty, this old one only came to the palace two years after your enthronement. This old one does not know." Mo Ran said, "But I can't remember, I need someone to tell me."
"..."
"Where can I find someone to tell me?" Mo Ran murmured. "Who can tell me what I… used to look like." Old Liu let out a long sigh, but couldn't think of a single name. Truthfully, in his heart, Mo Ran also knew that the old man had no answer for him, and so,
uncertainly, he held that black hair clasp to his left, then his right, before settling on the left side and clipping it there.
"That seems right," Mo Ran said. "Let me go ask him." So he walked toward the inner parts of the pavilion, to the side of the red lotus pond where Chu Wanning's body laid, looking like he was only asleep.
Mo Ran sat down on the ground, propping his cheek in one hand as he said,
"Shizun." The breeze carried the faint fragrance of the lotus blossoms. Looking at that man lying amongst the vibrant, intoxicating red within the pond with his eyes closed, he suddenly felt like he had a lot he wanted to say, but at the same time didn't know what to say at all.
Toward Chu Wanning, he seemed to be always full of emotions, but those emotions were too jumbled, contained too many flavors, and amidst the sweet and the sour and the bitter and the spicy, he couldn't tell if he held more hatred toward this person or more of something else. He really, honestly didn't know how to act toward this person.
He had once told himself that the only reason he kept Chu Wanning by his side was to vent his hatred and sate his desires. But then Chu Wanning died,
and he still kept this corpse that he could no longer even entwine with; even the grave had been prepared, but he just couldn't bear to bury him.
What was the use in keeping this cold, unmoving corpse that couldn't speak?
Even he himself wasn't sure.
They've already gone through too much, and that tiny, clean thing at the start had already been completely drowned.
When Chu Wanning was still alive, the two of them rarely had any peaceful,
amicable days together.
But now that Chu Wanning was dead, a kind of cruel gentleness grew between the living and the dead. Mo Ran came to visit him often, a jar of pear blossom white in hand, simply looking without saying much.
Right now, besieged on all sides, he knew that his life was at an end. And Chu Wanning's body was the only one left from his past in this Sisheng Peak that looked no different but held none of the same people, the only one who had stayed with him all this time.
Mo Ran suddenly wanted to have a nice, long heart-to-heart with this cold corpse. Chu Wanning was already dead anyway, he could neither protest nor berate him. No matter what he said, he would have no choice but to lie there and listen.
But when he tried to move his lips, his throat felt tight.
In the end, he only managed to say one thing.
"Shizun, pay attention to me."
Author's Notes:
Depraved 0.5 is in a craze again as he is usually, clutches face...who will drag this dog and get him vaccinated for rabies hahahaha
Big white cat's talking corpse: [thanking jjwxc readers] Crazy 0.5 Mo Weiyu: Did this venerable one not scare you all yesterday? If so, then, [thanking jjwxc readers]