Chapter 107: Shizun's Portrait

Once the scholar got going, he went on for four whole hours, prattling incoherently and ceaselessly, all Confucius and Mencius and over Mo Ran's head. It made Mo Ran's head spin and his eyelids grow heavy, but he still had to feign interest—hard work, to be sure.

When it came to faking attentiveness in lessons, Mo Ran was quite skilled.

Start with a "oh?" paired with furrowed brows, as if not quite comprehending or convinced.

Let them talk for a bit, then go "oh…" and relax the brows a bit to give off the impression of slowly beginning to understand.

Then it's important to remember to open your eyes wide and make them sparkle, and go "ohhh~" to let them know that you've gained new insight and understanding thanks to their brilliant guidance.

He had applied these three "oh"s liberally in Chu Wanning's lessons.

But Chu Wanning never fell for it, always only looked at him coldly and told him to shut up.

But the little bookworm had certainly never received such "courteous" treatment before, and his eyes were practically glowing by the end of it. He was so exceedingly delighted that he only wished he had met Mo Ran earlier, and all of his earlier reservations and haughtiness vanished into thin air.

"I understand now," Mo Ran said with a smile. "Looking at this landscape painting again after listening to your talk, I can see that it's truly invaluable,

beyond what money can buy."   If the little bookworm was still alive, he'd definitely be red by now, but other than the flush, he was excited in all the other ways, so delighted that he hardly even knew what to do with his hands and where to put his legs, only beaming like a little kid, skinny face all lit up.

Mo Ran had never seen such a happy ghost before.

That should do, then. He got up and made a gesture of respect as he spoke,

"It's getting late, I'm going to go look around a bit more and find some place to stay. I'll come again tomorrow, if the professor isn't too busy." Suddenly getting called "professor" out of the blue, the scholar beamed even brighter, half freaked out and half ecstatic as he disclaimed, "Nonono, I'm hardly a professor. I took the exam several times, but didn't even pass the county level one to qualify as a Xiucai[19] in the end, I… sigh…" Mo Ran said with a smile, "The depth of one's knowledge is measured not by titles and ranks, but by what's in the heart." The scholar was shocked, "To… to think you were actually capable of such eloquence." "It's something my Shizun said once, I'm just lending his words." Scholar: "...Borrowing his words."

"Oh, is that how it went? Hahahaha," Mo Ran laughed and scratched his head. "I remembered it wrong again." Seeing as how it was getting rather late and there probably won't be anyone else coming by for paintings, the scholar started putting away his boxes and pouches, saying, "I'm pretty free myself, and it's not every day I hit it off so well with someone. Though the saying goes that friendship between gentlemen is light as water[20], it is also said that when meeting friends over wine, a thousand cups is too few, so I say…"   Mo Ran hurriedly cut him off with a smile before he could spew even more scholarly ink, "Were you gonna say something like, it's getting late, how about we go for a drink somewhere?" "Ah, yes, that's right, some wine to lift the spirits, how about it?" "Sounds good," Mo Ran nodded. "Professor's treat."   Scholar: "..." The greasy little table had a small plate of about a dozen-odd scattered peanuts on it and two cups of wine that were barely even half full. There was only a single dingy candle lit in the entire tavern, and the sly-looking boss of the place was wiping a cracked bowl behind the counter.

"The place is a bit shabby," the scholar seemed a little uneasy. "But I never really got any paper money, and I've only been to a couple of places, this one's the most passable of the lot…"   "It's fine," Mo Ran picked up the cup and looked it over carefully. "Do ghosts still eat?" "It's all fake, works like offerings," the scholar popped a couple of peanuts in his mouth, but none of the peanuts disappeared. He explained, "See, basically like this. Just for a taste." Mo Ran calmly put down the cup of wine he was holding; he wasn't actually dead, he'll get busted if he eats something.

Three rounds of wine later, the scholar seemed to cheer up a bit from his despondent mood earlier. He chatted with Mo Ran for a while, then asked, "Mogongzi wanted me to draw a portrait of someone earlier, is it a lover?" Mo Ran hurriedly waved a hand, "No no, it's my Shizun." "Ah," the scholar seemed surprised. "I've been doing my business down here for many years already, and people have come to me looking for paintings of beauties, but I've never had anyone ask me to draw their shizun. Is your Shizun good to you?" Weighted with guilt, Mo Ran said, "Yes, he's very good to me." "No wonder, then," the scholar nodded. "What do you want a drawing of him for?" "To find him." The scholar ah'd, looking surprised, "He's in the Underworld too?"   "Mn," Mo Ran replied. "I heard that the deceased stay here at Nanke Village for eight to ten years. I'm worried about him, so I wanted to try looking for him to keep him company."

The scholar didn't doubt him in the least, and was even rather moved. He mulled it over for a moment, then finally sighed, "Such devotion is hard to come by… alright! Mo-gongzi, I'll do you this favor!" He got up and opened his box to take out his drawing tools even as he spoke.

Mo Ran was overjoyed, thanking him over and over and asking for his name,

thinking to burn this poor bro lots of money once he gets back to the living world.

The two of them gushed back and forth emotionally while spreading out the paper and grinding the ink.

But then it all screeched to a halt as soon as they set to work.

"My Shizun… he uh…" Mo Ran clenched his hand into a fist and tapped it against his knee several times, but didn't manage to tap out any inspiration whatsoever. He hesitated for a long while, straining through his pitiful bank of vocabulary, then finally managed to squeeze out, "He's beautiful. Please draw him." The scholar stared at him.

Mo Ran: "Well? Draw." "...Beautiful in what way?" "Isn't it obvious? Just, beautiful, you know. So draw him beautiful." "I know, draw him beautiful, but… you know what, nevermind. What kind of face does he have?" "What kind of face?" Mo Ran stared blankly. "...A face is a face." The scholar was beginning to get irked, "Oval heart square round, at least give me something?"   "I don't know these things! Anyway, he has a handsome face." Scholar: "..." Mo Ran: "Forget it, if you don't know then just draw it like my face, our face shapes are pretty similar anyway." Scholar: "..." Next were the eyes.

"What kind of eyes?" Mo Ran was about to open his mouth, but the scholar stopped him to add.

"Do not say eyes are eyes." Mo Ran waved his hand, "I know I know, his eyes look… hm, how to say?

Scary but… charming? And cold but gentle." The scholar threw his brush and declared in a rage, "I quit! You can go find someone else!" "No wait!" Mo Ran grabbed him hastily. "No one else draws as well as you do!" The scholar tried to hold down his anger as he glared at him, but there was only sincerity on Mo Ran's face, so he relented and said, stiffly, "Then you have to give me proper answers."

Mo Ran felt a little wronged, he thought his answer just now was perfectly fine? How was it not a proper answer? But beggars can't be choosers, so he could only nod obediently while hugging the Soul-Calling Lantern closer to himself.

The scholar said, "So, the eyes. Leopard eyes? Round eyes? Almond eyes?

Phoenix eyes? Or…"   Mo Ran's head spun from all the terms being thrown at him. He shook his head, "Slit eyes[21]? No that's way too small, his eyes are upturned, I don't know what they're called, but they uh… they swoop upwards, really prettily…" "That's what phoenix eyes are." Mo Ran opened his mouth, but seeing the thundercloud on the scholar's face, closed it again. "Alright, slit eyes then, whatever you say." The scholar continued the questioning, "Nose, high or flat?" "High." "Lips, thin or full?" "Thin."   "Eyebrows, dense or sparse?" "Dense." "Thick or thin?" "Average I think… oh, this one I know, he has sword-straight brows." "Alright," the scholar put down a couple of brush strokes, then asked, "Any birthmarks on his face?" Mo Ran tilted his head as he thought, and then his reddened as he mumbled, "Yeah…" "Where?" "On his left ear," Mo Ran said haltingly. "A tiny, light-colored mole, and…" And he's so very sensitive when kissed there.

The scholar quirked a brow, "And?" "N…" Mo Ran's head shook like a rattle-drum as his face turned even redder,

"nothing." The scholar shot him a questioning glance, but luckily the light was dim enough in here that he couldn't see how red his face was. He dipped his brush in the ink and asked, "Usual attire?" "He likes to wear white, with his hair done up with a jade crown, or else in a high ponytail," Mo Ran thought for a moment, then added, "he also wears his hair down sometimes, and when he does, he looks really…" "Don't say beautiful again!" The scholar was at the end of his rope.

"Okay, handsome then."

Scholar: "..."

After that overly arduous ordeal, the drawing was finally done. Mo Ran blew the ink dry and lifted it to examine, deciding that it wasn't as handsome or beautiful as Chu Wanning, and didn't really look completely like him, but it was passable for his purposes, so he smiled and said, "Many thanks, professor. It's great."   "I've just about drawn Pan An, Fan Li, Xi Zi, and Diao Chan[22]."   "Hahaha," Mo Ran laughed and said, "after I find Shizun, I'll be sure to thank you again properly." They drank and chatted for a while longer, then parted ways in front of the tavern, and Mo Ran set off with Chu Wanning's portrait in hand. According to the scholar, there was a place on the fifth street called "Tailwind Hall" that specialized in looking into all kinds of information for the new arrivals of Nanke Village.

That's where he was headed.

Outside Tailwind Hall, a banner depicting a black serpent floated lightly. Mo Ran pushed open the door and walked in, and the sight that greeted him was that of an elongated counter stretching across the main hall. About a dozen ghosts dressed in ocher red robes sat behind the counter, each wearing a wooden mask painted with an enraged face concealing their real face from view.

In front of each masked ghost was a long meandering line of deceased people with an assortment of expressions and varied requests.

Hundreds of white wax candles floated in the upper part of the building,

casting overlapping lights on the overlapping dead. The place was very busy,

ghosts coming and going without stop.

"Sir, can you help me look into where my younger brother is? His name is Zhang Bayi, from Gusu, twenty-one years old when he died…" "You have a portrait?" "N-no." "That's fine, but it'll cost you ten times as much." "Lad——" The masked ghost cleared her throat, voice clear and crisp.

"Ah, sorry, dinnae know you was a miss. Missy, it's like this, so, when I died,

that wifey of mine said she definitely won' remarry, but I been seeing her and me lil' bro makin' eyes at one another for a while now, n' I just really can't accept that, so can you help me check and see if she's actually bein' a proper widow up there or if she done ran off with me lil' bro!" "Here's the list of prices for looking into matters in the living world, please take a look."   "Excuse me—I liked a girl when I was alive, but she was from a wealthy family, so there was no way she'd even look at some poor scholar who couldn't even pass the imperial exam like me, and I didn't have the guts to confess to her either. She got married eventually; I was happy for her at first, but it turned out that the guy was already married… sigh, there was an accident, and she… passed on before me. I want to ask about two things; the first is her current whereabouts, and the second is… if we will be fated in our next life…" "We can certainly look into things in the next life. However, the cost will not be money, but years of your lifespan from your next life. As for the lady's whereabouts, please provide me her name and portrait."   "Oh, okay, okay. I have her portrait, here. Her surname is Yao, given name Lan…"

There were ghosts chattering away at every counter; though their bodies had long rotted away, they still could not put down their worldly attachments.

Mo Ran walked around the place, hugging his lantern and looking left and right. He noted that in exchange for answers, the people of Tailwind Hall would take either money or years of lifespan in payment.

He didn't have money, but if he were to let them take from his lifespan, they might find out that he was a living person who had infiltrated the Underworld. His apprehension grew, and he couldn't help but curse Master Huaizui for not thinking ahead and giving him some paper money for a situation just like this.

But taking a look at the price list, the cost of inquiring after someone didn't seem particularly expensive. Mo Ran made up his mind and ran back towards the tavern. It took some searching before he found the scholar again, and all his persuasive power to talk him into lending some meager few silvers, and then Mo Ran returned to Tailwind Hall.

He waited in line for a long while before it was finally his turn.

Mo Ran said urgently, "I'm looking for someone. Here's his portrait." He handed Chu Wanning's portrait over. He was about to say more when,

unexpectedly, the person only took one glance at the portrait before chuckling and folding the painting scroll back up. He said, "Why are you looking for him?" "Ah?" Mo Ran was taken aback. "You can tell where he is just by looking at the painting?"   "Of course. But first, tell me, why are you looking for him?"   "He's someone I know."   The other person shot him another look and then said, "Wait here a moment." He then leaned over and had a whispered discussion with the colleague next to him. When he turned back to Mo Ran, his tone had warmed up considerably.

"Since you're Sir Chu's acquaintance, payment won't be necessary." The person rose to his feet and waved Mo Ran forward. "Come on then, follow me upstairs."  

Author's Notes

The three at the beginning originate from their respective Weibo texts and shorts, and are not original. But because they're used so often, when I wanted to look for the sources, I couldn't find them…..the earliest appears to have appeared on the Spring Night skit? Shocked, does it have such local festiveness? Stated here to avoid misunderstandings QAQ

[19] 秀才 xiucai - someone who's passed the county (lowest) level of the imperial exam system

[20] 君子之交淡如水 friendship between gentlemen is light as water - two interpretations: 1) between gentlemen, i.e., learned individuals of high moral caliber,

friendship should be easy and natural, clear as water; and 2) maintaining a certain distance in friendship is healthy, and frequent interactions are not required to be good friends who are there for one another in times of need

[21] 凤眼 [phoenix eyes] and 缝眼 [slit eyes] sound exactly the same: feng yan

[22] 潘安范蠡,西子貂蝉 Pan An, Fan Li, Xi Zi, and Diao Chan Pan An, aka Pan Yue - poet and politician, known as "the most beautiful man of ancient times" Fan Li - businessman and military strategist, Xi Shi's lover Xi Zi, aka Xi Shi - one of the Four Legendary Beauties Diao Chan - another of the Four Legendary Beauties