Chapter 114: Shizun, Say You Will

Thump, thump, thump.

A slow, steady heartbeat.

Chu Wanning blinked, surprise, joy, awkwardness, and embarrassment flitting across his eyes in an instant. But Yuheng Elder was Yuheng Elder after all, calm and cool as ever, more adept than anyone else at schooling his features into one of unruffled composure, sweeping those excess emotions under the rug in no time at all like the one that was admonishing Mo Ran in despair just now wasn't him.

"What're you doing down here if you're not dead." Chu Wanning regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

It was obvious that Mo Ran had come to save himself. But Chu Wanning was afraid his heart might beat right out of his chest if Mo Ran were to actually say that to him.

He was so nervous that he completely forgot he was already dead, and had no heart to speak of.

But Mo Ran only gazed at him without saying any such thing.

He probably knew that Chu Wanning would be embarrassed if he were to say "I came here for you".

So he thought for a bit, then pressed his lips together and asked gently with lowered lashes, "Shizun, take a guess why I'm down here?" "...You came looking for trouble."   "Since when did Shizun change his name to trouble?" Mo Ran grinned.

"Should've told me."   Chu Wanning jerked his hand back, as if stung by this gentleness that he's never had before, snapping in embarrassed anger, "What nonsense, how impudent."   Mo Ran had found out a secret.

He had found out that Chu Wanning's anger was a mask. He was just so awkward that he'd rather wear that menacing, colorful mask to hide all of the gentleness, happiness, joy, embarrassment, and sadness beneath.

What a dummy.

Chu Wanning was a dummy, wearing that mask all his life like it's not exhausting.

He was a dummy too, taking two whole lifetimes to figure that out.

The mood was a bit lighter now, after that. And rebirth was finally within reach now that he had found all four of Chu Wanning's souls.

Mo Ran was in high spirits. He grabbed Chu Wanning's hand again, not letting go as he rambled on and on, telling him about why he had come down to the Underworld, about Master Huaizui, and when it came to certain things, he had to stop and wait for the tightness in his throat to go away before continuing with red-rimmed eyes. And as he explained, the words that appeared the most were "I'm sorry".

Chu Wanning didn't know what to say.

He was good to others, but he didn't do it to get anything out of them, and he was also afraid that they'd feel troubled or indebted to receive his goodwill.

In truth, he was afraid that he'd offer up his warm, beating heart to someone,

only for that person to casually set him aside to cool.

That was why he would always hide his kind deeds, though he was otherwise an open and straightforward person.

He had worn a mask his whole life.

But one day, the person he liked suddenly reached out and took that vividly drawn anger right off his face, leaving him like a crab without its shell.

He stood there in a daze, at a complete loss for what to do.

Mo Ran knelt down before him while he stared blankly, one hand still holding onto his, as if afraid he might disappear.

For a split second, ridiculous, shameful thoughts raced through his mind.

This disciple of his had always been brazenly audacious with no regard for common sense. For Mo Ran to suddenly take his hand and treat him like this, he couldn't help thinking the other was about to pull something.

"..." Startled by his own thought, his face darkened even more, and, not knowing what kind of expression to wear, he could only fall back on the cool detachment he was so used to.

But Mo Ran didn't pull anything. He only continued to hold his hand, like he was holding a treasure, once lost, now regained.

This person whom he had tossed aside like a worthless piece of junk in his past life.

"Shizun."   Having set down all that hatred, he knelt before him now, earnestly,

respectfully, full of warmth.

"I was wrong before. From now on, I'll go left if you say left, right if you say right; all I want is for you to be happy." Maybe it was too many emotions all at once, but Mo Ran's eyes grew watery even as he kept smiling. "So come back with me, okay?"   Chu Wanning said nothing; his face was expressionless like still water, but his heart burned like a beacon of fire.

"Shizun." His voice was gentle and soft, with a touch of lingering youthfulness.

When Mo Ran hated someone, it was with unadulterated vehemence.

But if he were to cherish someone, it was with his whole heart.

He had always been extreme like that.

"Come back with me, say you will, okay?" Chu Wanning was still not responding, only staring blankly at him as if thinking about something or another.

Mo Ran worried that he might be upset, so he forced himself to keep smiling despite the dejection he felt, tried his best to hold it together so as to not make Shizun uncomfortable. He swung their joined hands a little, coaxing, "Or Shizun can just nod." "..." And then, afraid he might not nod, Mo Ran thought for a bit and added, "I'll count to three, okay?"

"..."   "If Shizun doesn't say anything, I'll take it as a yes, 'kay?" Mo Ran said,

nervous but still gentle, and paused before slowly counting off.

"One, two, three."   But Chu Wanning was like a person frozen for too long; to be suddenly put into warm water, what he felt wasn't warmth, but pain.

He had never been wanted before, so he didn't feel anything, even frozen.

But now that there was someone to treasure him, to surround him with warmth, it was as if he finally had the right to feel pain, and suddenly every inch of his body hurt, and every inch of his skin cracked.

Only now did he feel the pain.

The tips of his fingers trembled faintly in Mo Ran's palms that were getting more and more sweaty.

Mo Ran grew even more anxious when he didn't reply, afraid that he had lost heart and did not want to return to the living world.

But he didn't dare move, afraid that Chu Wanning would disappear and leave him behind if he moved so much as a single muscle. He smiled warmly and tried again, "I counted too fast, you probably weren't ready yet. I'll count again." "One, two, three." Chu Wanning: "..." Mo Ran's throat moved. He started trembling as he forced himself to keep smiling, saying, practically begging, "Shizun, did you hear me?"   There finally seemed to be some focus in Chu Wanning's phoenix eyes, but they were still mostly blank, fixed on Mo Ran's face without any expression.

"I'll count again, slower this time in case it's hard to hear," Mo Ran said.

"One, two, three." "..." "I'm going to count one last time…" "One, two, three." "This time's really the last." "One, two, three…"   Chu Wanning stared, as if emotionless, at that person kneeling in front of him counting one-two-three, one-two-three, again and again like a dummy, as if repeating it over and over like that could make time flow backwards, could make a withered tree bloom again, could bring back the dead.

The disciple before him counted with all that he had, clumsily and stubbornly,

like he was counting his own sins, counting all the ways that his Shizun had been good to him.

Counted until his voice trembled and his smile was one of panic.

"Shizun." Mo Ran looked up; the rims of his eyes were red, but he had already done Chu Wanning so much wrong that he'd ended up like this, so he didn't want to cry in front of him when he could see and hear, didn't want to cause Shizun any more grief.

So he swallowed his tears and kept smiling, talking in a light, easy tone, as if bargaining.

"I'll count again; pay attention to me, won't you?" Chu Wanning felt like his heart was being stabbed by his pleading.

He tried to pull his hand from Mo Ran's grip, like he was frightened.

But Mo Ran held tightly onto him this time, refusing to let go.

With a dog-like persistence, the young man gazed steadily, unblinkingly at him.

He said, "One, two, …"   Suddenly, there was the sound of rapid footsteps from the outside, along with yelling and cursing. Chu Wanning's head snapped up; he saw a sea of lights swarming in the distance as a vast army of ghost soldiers closed in,

headed straight for where they were.

Rong Jiu had found a chance to snitch on them, after all.

"There! Upstairs! Upstairs!' "Grab that thief!" "Who does he think he is!"   Everywhere was tumultuous, frenzied chaos, the flickering shadows of ghosts and torches rolling in like a tide from afar to devour them, obliterate them,

plunge them into the Infinite Hells for the rest of eternity.

But Mo Ran didn't even turn around; in that moment, holding Chu Wanning's hand, he felt at peace.

Chu Wanning was not his lover, but he was his beloved, respected person,

was someone who loved him and was good to him. His heart was calm, looking at him.

Chu Wanning admonished him, "Have you lost your mind?! What're you doing still sitting there!" He turned his hand to grip Mo Ran's and pull him up as he spoke; his eyes were bright in the light of countless torches, looking just like they had in life. Chu Wanning snapped angrily with a scowl, "Let's go already!" Mo Ran seemed surprised. "We're going?" Chu Wanning was getting really mad. "Who else?!"   Trembling, Mo Ran closed his eyes, opened them again, and then suddenly smiled. It was a brilliant smile, eyes brimming with tears like beautiful, dew-laden blossoms.

He finally, finally let out the breath he'd been holding as he clasped their hands tightly together.

Fingers interlocked.

Pressing his forehead against Chu Wanning's, he whispered quietly,

earnestly, "Three." "What do you mean three! Hurry up!"   The countless ghosts outside were drawing close; only then did Mo Ran turn around to look, letting out a somewhat panicked sound when he saw the horde closing in. "Shizun, put up a barrier to hold them off for a bit while I get you into the Soul-Calling Lantern!" "Can't." "...Wha?!" Mo Ran was dumbstruck.

Chu Wanning's cool, collected expression was a little flustered, and he snapped to cover the embarrassment with anger, "Did you really think I'd be trapped in this stupid little cage if I still had my powers?!" "..." Alright then.

So the thing that was missing from this soul was "cultivation".

He had to recite a spell without interruption in order to draw a soul into the Soul-Calling Lantern. It wouldn't take too long, but it was definitely not happening with the way things were right now, so Mo Ran could only grab Chu Wanning and run for it.

Chu Wanning may have lost his cultivation, but at least he still had his martial arts skills and could easily keep up with Mo Ran. The two of them beat a hasty retreat, pursued by a torrential stream of ghost soldiers. Chu Wanning asked,

when they made it to the door of the main hall, "Where are we going?" Mo Ran: "Dunno." Chu Wanning: "..."   But Mo Ran only pointed at the towering palace walls, not at all discouraged.

"Let's get up there and scope out the place." Luckily, Chu Wanning had a solid foundation in light footwork, and could vault up walls no problem even without the aid of his cultivation. Landing gracefully on the eaves, he looked down to see the swarm of angry ghosts roaring closer, and quickly instructed Mo Ran, "Summon Jiangui!" Mo Ran did as told, a strand of piercing scarlet radiance appearing between a swipe of his palms and springing forth like a hissing snake, willow leaves vibrant and rustling as the holy weapon settled into a coil by his feet.

"Channel your spiritual energy past Wuli, through Quchi, and converge on Shangyang[9], then whip downwards." THRASH!

Chu Wanning seemed to suddenly remember something, adding, "Not too much spiritual energy." Mo Ran faltered at his words, but it was already too late to pull back the strike.

There was a loud BOOM! as firey explosions shot forth from the hissing snake the very instant it was flung out, like a fire-spitting dragon roaring in fury as it pierced through the torrential dead. The raging inferno blazed through practically the entire corridor, the flames moving the stars themselves, smoke rising beyond the clouds, and the dozens of soldiers in the forefront were scorched into smithereens in a mere instant, along with the walls and trees!

Chu Wanning: "..."

Mo Ran: "..."

"Didn't I say to not use too much spiritual energy!" Chu Wanning scolded with a frown.

"By the time you said that I was already…" Suddenly remembering that he must be respectful and not talk back to Shizun, Mo Ran shut his mouth disgruntledly and said instead, "Shizun is right to scold me." "Forget it," Chu Wanning flicked his sleeve. "I did say it a little late." Mo Ran was taken aback——so all he had to do to get Shizun to cave was to take the blame himself first?

He blinked, then couldn't help bursting into laughter.

Chu Wanning glared at him. "What's so funny? Get moving already."      

Author's Notes:

Haha, thank you for your suggestions, friends~ If the urge to change the novel's title comes someday, I would most likely change it to "This Venerable One Has Been Reformed". If I change it, don't exit out of the update and not recognise me2333~

[9] Meridian points; Wuli is about ⅔ down the upper arm, Quchi is in the elbow area to the side, and Shangyang is on the index finger right below the nail.