Chapter 9.5| Do you believe in me?

Saturday, Yin woke up naturally from a dreamless sleep that wasn't particularly restful. 

In her dream, the timeline was set during the summer vacation after the high school entrance exam. Summoning courage, she arranged to meet Xu Zhiyi in the classroom. 

When Zhiyi arrived, she was seated in his place awaiting his presence. 

"Xu Zhiyi, you take my seat." 

Hearing the sound of his sitting down, she called out Zhiyi's name. 

"I've always been curious about what it's like to see my seat from your perspective," Yin said, looking at Zhiyi's back. "So this is how it is." 

Throughout junior high, she had never sat in the back row and was intrigued by Xu Zhiyi's vantage point. 

Zhiyi leaned back against the chair and asked, "What is it like?" 

"You can see clearly whether you're paying attention in class or if you're doing your homework properly, it's all visible," she replied. 

"What else?" 

"And...," she suddenly hesitated. 

As if expecting this, Zhiyi continued her sentence, "I can also see when you sneak snacks secretly, when you cry quietly because of a failed exam, or when your deskmate tells you something funny, and you laugh uncontrollably." 

She felt a bit embarrassed by his words but also found a courageous impulse. In the moment of silence after Zhiyi's words, she asked, "Xu Zhiyi, do you like me?"

She did not receive an answer in her dream as she woke up immediately after posing the question. 

Reflecting on her dream, Yin contemplated the surreal experience and questioned her sanity. Checking her phone, she noticed the conversation with Zhiyi from the previous day still on the screen. Mimicking a popular trend, she sent a playful message to Xu Zhiyi with "Bro Yi's vision", then he responded with a witty remark. 

Following a brief morning routine, she paid a visit to her grandparents' house, where she was staying for the weekend. After exchanging pleasantries with her elders, she proceeded to the Modern Art Centre.

Several artists' exhibitions in A City are set here, including Alice Exhibition. The Alice Exhibition is actually the nickname Lin Xipei gave to the "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" themed exhibition. This is the third year of collaboration between the A City's Modern Art Centre and the UK's Victoria and Albert Museum, and the first time the V&A Museum accepted the invitation to bring the Alice-themed exhibition, "Alice: Curiouser And Curiouser," to Asia.

The exhibition layout is arranged like a Swiss roll, layer by layer from top to bottom, with a different magical experience waiting to be discovered with each step forward. The intricacy of the entire exhibition lies not only in its chronological approach, providing visitors with an in-depth understanding of the origins, adaptations, and recreations of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" over 158 years, and the evolution of this global phenomenon through 300 items, but also in immersing everyone into another world shaped by theatrical sets, immersive environments, and virtual reality.

Meng Yin and Lin Xipei felt like fans meeting their idols up close, falling into their "wonderland," with three boys leisurely following behind. 

"Bro Yi, is this exhibition really that good? Why am I not getting it at all?" Hai scratched his head inquiringly. 

"You, the science guy, what can you discern?" Xiuze sniffed, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" is one of the most influential absurd works of the 19th century. Although it's children's literature, the philosophical metaphors, humour, depth, absurdity, and reality within it require literary cultivation. Your language skills," Xiuze glanced at Hai, "have you understood the comprehension?" 

Although Hai wanted to refute Xiuze, as someone whose Chinese grades fluctuated around 100 out of 150, he truly couldn't see anything special. Watching Xiuze acting like a proud peacock, he could only retort, "So what if you're good at humanities?" 

"Exactly." 

Nie Hai thought, "What's wrong with this guy!"

After leaving the exhibition hall, they went to a nearby café for afternoon tea. 

"How are you getting back later?" Zhiyi asked.

The other four look towards him in silence. 

Xipei nudged Yin's arm, and Yin spoke up, "Who are you asking?" 

"All of you." 

Lin Xipei, Xing Xiuze, and Nie Hai: "..." 

Can you drop the 'you all' this time? Did you think we overlooked last night's post?

"My mom asked me to pick them up at the resort in the suburbs later. It's still a bit early, so I'll drop you off at home first," Zhiyi casually stated. 

Xiuze, sipping his tea, almost spat it back into the cup. 

The driver took a business van, dropping off two girls first, then Nie Hai, leaving only Xing Xiuze to go home with the neighbour next door. 

After holding it in the entire trip, Xiuze couldn't resist kicking the seated individual next to him, giving a thumbs up, "Your moves, really... impressive." 

Who would have thought that the considerate individual had taken such a detour just to drop Meng Yin off at home? 

"It's not safe for her to go back alone." 

"There's... " something unsafe. Cutting himself off, Xiuze remembered what happened with Yin yesterday morning and swallowed his words, "Well, it is a bit unsafe."

The next evening, Yin received a WeChat message from Xu Zhiyi.

「Xu Zhiyi」: I'm downstairs, come down.

Zhiyi knew that Yin was staying at her grandparents' house this weekend.

「Meng Yin」: ???

「Meng Yin」: Why didn't you tell me before coming?

「Meng Yin」: Aren't the resident students supposed to have self-study tonight?

「Xu Zhiyi」: I have a monthly exam, so I'm here today.

Zhiyi stood under the street lamp, looking at his phone with his head down. 

He heard footsteps and shifted his gaze from the screen to meet Yin's smiling eyes.

"Why did you suddenly come over?"

"Well," Zhiyi laid his palm out in front of Yin, "this is for you."

A keychain lay in the palm of his hand, with a redwood pendant hanging from it. The abstract figure on the pendant was unclear to Yin.

"A keychain?"

"No, it's an Anti-wolf alarm."

Yin raised an eyebrow, grabbed the keychain from Zhiyi's palm, and examined it closely. The scent of osmanthus trees in the neighbourhood filled the air, particularly strong. She suddenly felt like saying something to Zhiyi but didn't know what to say. Finally, she dryly said, "I thought you would give me pepper spray instead."

"Give me the key." Zhiyi put his phone in his pocket and replied to Yin, "Pepper spray is not as practical."

Under the street lamp, Zhiyi took two keys off Yin's keychain, inserted them into a new keyring, and explained to her, "I have set myself as your emergency contact. If you encounter a situation while you are out alone, press the middle button twice to trigger the alarm. It will sound an alert and send me your location in real time. If the indicator light flashes green, the alarm was successful."

Yin nodded as she listened.

Zhiyi added, "Your parents are not at home. You should protect yourself well so as not to worry them."

"I do take care of myself." Yin thought to herself, Isn't learning judo a way to protect myself? Then she murmured softly, "My luck shouldn't be that bad."

Zhiyi stopped and stared at her until his stern gaze made her a bit uneasy, then he spoke with a low and serious tone, "Do not hold any illusions about negative developments."

"I see." Yin replied like a scolded child, sounding submissive.

Zhiyi glanced at Yin, then lowered his head to put the other key into the keyring. A faint smile appeared on his lips as he said, "You did well on the monthly exam."

A classic case of giving a scolding followed by a compliment is quite effective.

Yin took the keys Zhiyi had prepared, smoothed down her hair ruffled by the evening breeze, feeling as if a gentle wind had brushed past her ears, quietly stirring.

Afternoon returnees already knew their ranking in this month's exam, and the list was shared in the class group. At the FHS, the rankings are posted in the class without individual subject scores, only the top three total scores are displayed on the honour roll. This tradition has been maintained for nearly 60 years, admired by students from other high schools in A City. It not only protects the self-esteem of each student to the maximum extent but also provides a fair opportunity for students to showcase their diversity. 

Meng Yin looked at Xu Zhiyi with a smile on his lips, exuding confidence. With a joyful heart, Yin teased him, "Thanks for the notes from the top student Xu!" 

He ranked first in the class and grade this time, while she was twelfth in the class and ninety-ninth in the grade. Yin never doubted Zhiyi's ability to rank first, but she was surprised by her own decent exam results this time, especially considering the difference in difficulty between the exams for elite and regular high schools, with Zhiyi not even completing the math paper. Among these rankings, Xu Zhiyi had a great contribution. 

Xu Zhiyi has achieved first place countless times since childhood, but rare compliments like the one from Yin earlier made him feel appreciated. Before the feeling of appreciation had fully sunk in, Yin brought up another topic, "So, as the first-place winner, are you going to fulfil what you said before the exam?" 

Zhiyi sighed lightly and looked up at the sky, where there was no moon tonight. 

"What reasons do you think I have to not give up on the math contest?" Zhiyi asked. 

Yin was momentarily speechless. 

Every candidate who successfully secures a spot for competition recommendation must meet the requirements to enter the national training team and win a national competition gold medal. Nationally, only 60 students are selected for math, and 50 each for physics, chemistry, and biology, meaning only these 260 individuals are eligible for recommendation each year. From any perspective, pursuing the competition recommendation route carries a sense of "a general may achieve great military success, but it comes at the heavy price of countless lives lost." 

Xu Zhiyi has countless reasons to give up on competitions, as long as he wishes.

Yin slightly opened her mouth, her gaze falling on Zhiyi's chin, and expressed her thoughts, "Xu Zhiyi, you are so talented and have been participating in competitions since childhood, it's a pity to give up like this. And you never informed me in advance."

Is Xu Zhiyi talented in his studies? Yes, not only is he talented, but he is also hardworking. He finished elementary school mathematics, self-studied middle school mathematics in junior high, self-studied most of the high school science courses in the first year of high school. However, you cannot see any trace of arrogance due to his academic achievements. On the contrary, each time, he showed a sense of maturity and self-consistency.

"No regrets," Xu Zhiyi's voice was calm and composed, without any hint of regret. "When I was a kid, I found mathematics interesting, gradually, interest turned into a passion, and I never abandoned it. As I participated in bigger competitions, it became more utilitarian, and my passion changed its flavour. So, when the school suggested the direct admission route, I declined. I used to be quite proud since childhood, but along the competition path, I met lots of people, many of whom amazed and inspired me, allowing me to face my own mediocre aptitude. Xu Zhiyi is not the so-called academic genius in everyone's eyes; he also needs to put in effort to achieve good results." he half-closed his eyelids and continued, "The regular college entrance examination, autonomous enrollment, competitions, and art exams are different paths leading to the same end. I just didn't take the path that everyone thought I would take, but I always knew how I wanted to proceed." Pausing for a moment, Zhiyi looked at Yin and firmly said, "I always believed that completing the high school career by taking the regular college entrance examination is the most fulfilling."

Yin had considered many reasons, but never this one. When Xu Zhiyi described himself as a "mediocre person," she was momentarily shocked. Yin almost thought Zhiyi was joking with her at first, but looking at his expression, there was no hint of jest. He genuinely wanted to experience the challenges and exhaustion of the final year of high school, just like every ordinary student, to face the most impartial test.

After the surprise came understanding, Yin suddenly realized the coexistence of youthful vigour and an age-defying composure on Xu Zhiyi. It was not the usual "serious or deliberate Xu Zhiyi" she often referred to, but rather while most peers were still loudly proclaiming their ability to conquer the world, he, understanding the insignificance of human existence, remained resolutely focused on his goals.

It was his authenticity and down-to-earth nature.

Yin raised his hand and patted Zhiyi's shoulder, asking, "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Are we still good friends?" 

Yin wondered if it was her narrow-mindedness or Xu Zhiyi's. The training for the competition started in the second year of high school, so Zhiyi had made up his mind before then. Well, this guy actually kept it from her for over a year. 

In the second year of high school, Yin remembered that Zhiyi had gone to New York during the summer vacation. It turned out that there were clues to the matter long ago.

Zhiyi reminded her, "Do you remember crying during the summer vacation of your first year in high school?" 

During the second half of the first year, Yin did not meet the goals she had set for herself, and the gap was quite significant. She was under a lot of pressure and spent the whole summer burying herself in the city library. That summer, when Zhiyi saw her, he asked if she was sick, looking so haggard. Her words were filled with grievances as she said, "Xu Zhiyi, I can't study well, what should I do?" 

Zhiyi knew she was stuck in her studies. So, in the remaining hot days, he helped her reorganize the key points and preview the new semester's lessons. 

"But..." Zhiyi looked down at Yin, a hint of embarrassment on her face as she recalled that summer, "Our visions are quite similar, right? You wanted to transfer to the FHS, but you kept quiet about it, didn't you?" 

"Can it be the same?" Yin retorted without hesitation. 

"Why is it different?" 

"It just is." 

"Okay." Zhiyi smoothly changed the subject, "Have you thought about telling me a story from your time at the Third High School?" 

Yin's heart tightened, only hearing Zhiyi pause before saying, "Tell me one before the sports meeting?" 

Despite the tone of the discussion, there was a tempting undertone. 

"What do you want to hear?" Yin couldn't resist the temptation and asked cautiously. 

"The happiest and the saddest things for you at the Third High School." 

Yin also had thoughts she wanted to confide in Zhiyi. After thinking for a moment, she said, "Let me think about it." 

"No rush, go upstairs, I'll head back." 

Just a few steps away, Zhiyi was stopped by Yin. 

"What's up?" He turned around, Yin's brow-furrowed look met his eyes. 

That was her expression when she was happy. 

"Xu Zhiyi, I just wanted to tell you that I trust you more than I trust myself, and I believe you can definitely go where you want to go." After pursing her lips, Yin continued, "So, in the future, can you also tell me about some of your choices as soon as possible?" That was the one thing she wanted to say most tonight. 

"Sure." Yin extended her pinky, "Pinkie promise." 

Zhiyi's lips curved into a smile, mirroring Yin's expression. He copied her gesture, "Pinkie promise." 

Before going to bed, Yin posted a new thread in her friend circle on WeChat, with the caption "Being Alice." The picture was taken at the Alice exhibition yesterday. A sentence on the darkened wall with a mirror read: 

"What if the world hiding on the other side of the mirror was real?" 

Embrace being Alice. 

Be honest and kind, retain innocence, be curious, empathetic, and seek knowledge.