Chapter 14

 Before long, Naruto found himself going up the back of the Hokage Memorial, a mountain landscape he had never actually seen. Not overly familiar with the area, he looked around, searching for animals.

 "That reminds me…where's Itachi? I sent him out to tell all the tribes I was taking on the job. He should have reported back by now."

 [Ah, the ferret? I sent him home.]

 "What the hell for?"

 The Ebon Shadow fixed his master with a discerning eye.

 [It would have been useless, Naruto. The chiefs are proud of their rank, and they would accept nothing less than your personal appearance to acknowledge you. Sending a lackey would make you come off as arrogant. You cannot afford to give them that kind of first impression.]

 "Even animals have feelings, is that it?"

 [Indeed.]

 "Which chief are you taking me to see?"

 [We are to meet the safest tribe possible, considering your level of experience and youth. The back of the memorial mountain is the home of the bears.]

 "If they're the same bears that even made the wolves nervous, I think I'm going to like them."

 [I would not be so sure. The forest has changed greatly in twelve years. Not everything is as it was when your mother was Speaker.]

 "What do you mean?"

 [Talk to the bears, and you will see for yourself.]

 It didn't take long for Naruto to quickly lose his enthusiasm for talking to the biggest inhabitants of the forest. It wasn't that they were boring. That he could have lived with. Instead, he was losing interest (and getting more than a little irritated) at what he was hearing from their chief.

 [We will accept the Speaker's Blessing when he has assumed his role – not before. Bargain all you wish, Lord Shadow, but I have made my decision, and I will not back down!]

 It seemed even the chief of the ravens had moments when his calm manner turned angry.

 [Lady Sunflower, the Speaker has told you personally that he is ready to begin his duties. I have told you he is ready. It is unreasonable to demand assurances when you already have more than enough!]

 The female head of the bear tribe rose up on her hind legs, roaring out the frustration everyone in the forest clearing had been feeling since Naruto and the Ebon Shadow had arrived. Since the grizzly bear was twice the size of any of her subjects, rising to almost fourteen feet when standing, it had rather an awe-inspiring effect on Naruto – until she opened her mouth again.

 [We have been waiting for someone to take up the burden that Haruka-sama vacated twelve years ago, to make up for the loss of her conviction and heart. Instead you bring a child, Lord Shadow! A child! He is even younger than Kotaro-sama was! Do not think your position allows you to insult my intelligence! Our land is in anarchy, and you send an untrained Speaker to resolve the situation!]

 [His inexperience is precisely why I brought him to you. He has no ties or favored tribes, being so young. There is no way he could possibly be biased, unlike Kotaro-sama or Haruka-sama could be at times. That leads to a fairer outcome for all of us, does it not?]

 [Not if he cannot get the chiefs to listen to him! Would you listen to a fledgling?]

 [If his ideas were reasonable and his heart resolute, I would. You, I fear, would have him come back in a decade or two.]

 "Are the two of you done talking about me like I'm not here? Because I'm a little tired of being patronized by both of you."

 The Ebon Shadow took flight from the branch where he had been addressing Lady Sunflower, landing beside Naruto.

 [My apologies, Speaker. This is your stage, not mine.]

 "Forget it. I should have let everyone know from the start that things are going to be a little different around here. But there's plenty of time to correct that mistake, and here is a good place to start."

 Turning to look at the giant bear in front of him, Naruto let a little of the Ninetails out. Not enough to strengthen him, but enough to change the color of his aura and the expression on his face. As he did so, the light began to dim in the sunlit clearing, each ray shining on Naruto becoming tinged with a crimson aura, menace creeping slowly from his shadow. Gamabunta had needed a show of power to take notice of the Fourth's son, and an angry fourteen-foot-long female bear was not going to respond well either if he wussed out.

 "I can't argue with your logic. If I had to depend on someone fresh out of the Academy to do a job, I'd probably be suspicious too. But it's one thing to doubt me, and another thing entirely to call me incompetent from the start.

 "You see this body, count up the years since I was born and you call me a child. Physically? Sure, I'll grant you that much. But you haven't seen the battles I've fought. You've never been there to see me put my life on the line against an enemy who was supposed to be out of my league. So this once, I'll forget the insult. But let me say something I hope you never forget. Everyone who ever underestimated me has lived to eat their words. You can insult me all you want if I fail to do what you're so worked up about – but that's a big if. So let's forget the pleasantries and trying to be pals. You obviously don't want to do either. Just tell me what you want done. I'll get off your mountain, and out of your fur."

 For a moment it seemed as though Lady Sunflower didn't know whether to accept Naruto's offer or simply rip him limb from limb. When she responded, it was with a curt tone.

 [You come close to insult yourself, human. But I, too, shall overlook your actions – if you succeed.]

 "Words, words, words. Just give me the job and we'll see who's right."

 [If you wish to restore order, then bring back the wolves. End the anarchy, and save us all.]

 "What the hell kind of job description was that? Do I round them up? Hunt them down?"

 [I have said all I will say to you until you have rightfully assumed your title.]

 Naruto nearly reached for a kunai as the bear chief and her subjects turned and left the clearing, but he saw the Ebon Shadow shake its head briefly, and refrained.

 "Who the hell does she think she is? I'm the one with the huge-ass job and all the duties! Does she think I want to fail?"

 [Forgive them, Naruto. Of all the tribes in the Konoha Forest, the bears have suffered the most since your family was wiped out twelve years ago. The Ninetailed Demon Fox destroyed more than human lives. It brought a great tragedy down upon this forest.]

 "And that would be…?"

 [Do you know that your mother was a great friend of the dire wolves?]

 "Yeah, what about it?"

 [Haruka-sama did not die alone when she fought the Ninetails. Blood Fang, Lord of the Forest and chief of the wolves, was with her. By his side stood three of his four sons, Shadowslayer, Raging Claw and Howling Thunder. All of them fought the Ninetails – and all of them died, faithful to the last. Ever since, the forest and mountains have echoed with the howls of the wolves, honoring their fallen heroes.]

 "You said three of his four sons. Where was the other one?"

 [He was not there. That is the reason for Lady Sunflower's anger, and the suffering of the forest.]

 "What does one wolf's survival have to do with an entire forest falling into anarchy?"

 [Everything. Blood Fang's fourth son, Moon Gazer, did not fight because he was a coward. His father ordered him to fight, but he fled instead, running deep into the mountains.]

 "If I had to fight the Ninetails straight up, I'd be scared too. It's understandable."

 [Not to the dire wolves. To them, cowardice is a mortal sin. When it was discovered that Moon Gazer had left his father and brothers to die, the wolves were thrown into chaos. They needed a new Pack Master, but the only remaining member of their royal family was the one wolf that none of them would follow.]

 "So what happened?"

 [The wolves have many separate Clans among their numbers, the equivalent of human families. Without a ruler, each Clan left to handle its own affairs, taking their own territory and turning it into a tinier kingdom. There was nobody left to enforce the laws that Blood Fang and his ancestors had decreed, most importantly the laws governing hunting – how much could be done, and where.

 [Some of the most loyal Clans have stayed true to the laws, even without a chief to guide them. Many of the other, younger Clans went on a rampage, ranging well over the borders of the wolves' territory, hunting anything they pleased, whenever they wanted. Now they terrorize the other animals, taking land that is not theirs, and threatening to wipe out whole tribes by killing the young and old alike. Since the wolves and bears have been rivals from the dawn of time, Lady Sunflower and her people have borne the brunt of this assault. For now, they are holding on, but they do not reproduce nearly as fast as the wolves. If order is not restored soon, they will be driven to extinction.]

 "So she really just wants me to find a new Pack Master all the wolves will accept, and have him rein them in?"

 [That is the first step, yes. But it will not be easy. If it were as simple as just finding a popular wolf, Blood Fang could have been replaced in days, not years. No, the wolves are too traditional. They do not readily accept change.]

 "Sure, but there's gotta be some way to bring them together."

 [Perhaps. But it will be a daunting task, and unless you have any ideas, I suggest we go see an old friend of mine.]

 "No offense, but if he's anything like Lady Sunflower, I think I'm gonna pass."

 [Even if I tell you he is one of the last wolves left who knew your mother personally?]

 "You'd better not be lying about that."

 The raven made a noise that sounded oddly like a laugh as it took wing, heading back down the mountain.

 [When it comes to the wolves, lying is not a wise thing to do. Come, Naruto. We have little time to waste.]

* * *

 Naruto had many questions as he and the Ebon Shadow trekked deeper into the forest, one in particular coming up as they strolled through a stand of tall pine trees.

 "So let me get this straight. I know the dearly departed leader, the last boss of the wolves, was named Blood Fang. You say the Clan Leader you're taking me to is named Blood Claw? What were they, brothers?"

 [They were as close as brothers, even if it was not in blood. Blood Claw is the Leader of the strongest Clan left, the Crimson Moon. The Crimson Moon Clan and Blood Fang's Clan, the Golden Moon, supposedly sprang from the same family long ago.]

 "A little bit like the Hyuga main house and branch house?"

 [Yes, but without the mutual hatred. Among the wolves, it is no shame to bow to one stronger than you, as long as you have learned your true strength through battle. To surrender without fighting may be smart for humans, but to a wolf it means utter disgrace.]

 Naruto was about to respond by defending his own bravery, but before he could, another voice cut him off, sounding old and tired.

 [Well said, old friend. You are a worthy Lorekeeper indeed to know so much of our ways.]

 Naruto turned to see a pack of dire wolves emerge from the shadows behind him, each with a wary look in its eyes except for the one in the lead, an old wolf, body and muzzle crisscrossed with battle scars.

 The raven chief laughed, clacking his beak to show his great mirth.

 [Ha! In other words, I know too much for your liking?]

 [Finally you admit it, you old buzzard. But enough banter. I see you have brought the young Chosen.]

 [None other. He is the last true Chosen left, though there is one other, I suppose, if you consider blood alone.]

 [It will be an honor, then, to be the first to welcome him into this insane little world of ours.]

 Naruto's eyes narrowed as Blood Claw knelt on his front paws, each of his packmates doing the same in turn. Guess the wolves have fonder memories of Speakers than the bears do.

 [By the grace of the Mother, the Chosen One rises, taking the place of the fallen, as it has ever been. I, Blood Claw, Leader of the Crimson Moon Clan, swear fealty to the Mother's Chosen, as the ancient pact demands. May his time among us be long and may he serve with honor.]

 "Uh…thanks a lot?"

 Blood Claw threw his head back and roared with laughter.

 [You are your mother's son, indeed. Nearly twenty of your human years ago, I watched Haruka-sama display the same reaction when she first came before my brother, Blood Fang. If I had not known of your blood before, I know it for certain now. She soon became confident in herself and her abilities, and we are all confident you will do the same.]

 "I probably would, if I hadn't been given such a nasty job to do right from the get-go. Lord Shadow says your Crimson Moon Clan is the strongest one left, and you have distant ties to the Golden Moon. Why not step in and stop the chaos by taking command of the other Clans?"

 [Even if they would have accepted my stewardship, I am not long for this world. I sometimes think what you humans call "karma" is the only thing that keeps me alive, robbing me of my strength as punishment for the devastation that is being rained down upon the other tribes.]

 "Why would you be punished? It wasn't like you were the one who chickened out of the fight with the Ninetails."

 [I do not have guilt about Moon Gazer's disgrace. That burden rests firmly on him, wherever he may have run to.]

 "Then what's with the guilt trip?"

 Blood Claw stood, walking back the way he had come, motioning with his scarred visage for the blonde Genin to follow.

 [As well as we know each other, Lord Shadow, there are some things that should remain private. What I am about to tell the Chosen is for his ears and mine alone. I trust you understand.]

 [Do what you must, old friend, if you believe it will help.]

 [It might – if it is not already too late. We shall see.]

 "Are we going to talk, or are the two of you going to reminisce all day?"

 [You are correct, Chosen. Let us be going.]

 It was some time before either of them spoke again, enough that boy and wolf had passed out of the forest proper and onto a mountain's side, looking out over the wasteland that formed the Leaf's border with the Sand.

 "What's so embarrassing you had to come all the way out here to say it?"

 [Moon Gazer, or rather, what became of him. That is the reason for my guilt.]

 "Hold it. You just told me he got himself into this mess and it wasn't your problem. Why the sudden change of heart?"

 [Moon Gazer is indeed the cause of the chaos in this forest. However, he is also the solution.]

 Naruto's head snapped around as he turned to look at the old wolf.

 "How is he the solution if no wolf will follow him?"

 [Moon Gazer has always had an option open to him, a way to end his disgrace. If he should prove his bravery to all of the Clans, and show he is a true descendant of the Golden Moon Clan, the Clans are honor bound to accept him as the Pack Master, Blood Fang's successor.]

 "Prove his bravery? How?"

 [He must challenge the head of each Clan to single combat and win. A normal pup would simply have to fight someone from each Clan to show his bravery, but the Golden Moon Clan is royalty. Their trials are more difficult by necessity. Our rulers must be the best among us, and that means they must be the strongest.]

 Naruto shook his head, his own battle experience coming to mind.

 "No wonder Moon Gazer hasn't tried it, then. A wimp like him wouldn't last two seconds against a bunch of Clan Leaders who want him dead for shaming the tribe."

 [You are mistaken, Chosen. Moon Gazer was, and presumably still is, capable of killing most of the Clan Leaders in the tribe. I should know. I was his mentor, his teacher. I taught the pup everything I knew about combat, strategy, tactics. Moon Gazer was no less skilled than any of his brothers. The only thing he lacked, it seems, was courage.]

 Naruto heard the wolf's words, but something didn't make sense.

 "If he can defeat the Clan Leaders and prove his bravery, and he knows it, why hasn't he made a move yet?"

 Blood Claw laughed, but this time it was a sound totally bereft of mirth. When the old wolf spoke, it was with a bitter, hard edge to his words.

 [He has not moved because of me.]

 "Come again?"

 [I was his master in the ways of combat. I know the counter to every trick and attack he could possibly use, and even in my weakened condition, Moon Gazer cannot defeat me.]

 "I wouldn't be so sure, Blood Claw. I mean, this is his only chance to get back the glory he lost. Why wouldn't he at least try to take you on?"

 [There is a simple explanation, Chosen One. Moon Gazer did try, not more than a year after Haruka-sama and my brother died fighting the Ninetails. Or at least, he told me that he would fight – and I was to be his first target.]

 "So you beat him?"

 Blood Claw's voice lost its edge, simply sounding tired, as though the weight of the world burdened him.

 [I did not have to.]

 "Then what the hell happened!?"

 [Moon Gazer came to me first because I was the only opponent he had to worry about. He would not say it aloud, but he expected me to give less than my best effort, expected me to help him erase the shame he had brought to the Golden Moon. He should have known better than to even suggest such a thing.

 [When he had finished pleading with me, Moon Gazer stood there, half a smile on his face, anticipating that I would do what he asked of me.]

 "And you turned him down flat."

 [Turned him down? I told the simpering fool I would kill him where he stood! A scion of the Golden Moon, blessed with power and strength that any other wolf would die for, reduced to a quivering ball of fur! Forcing his father and brothers to live their final moments in shame and remorse, rather than the joy and glory of battle! Even if every other Clan Leader bowed to him, my Clan would do no such thing! My brother deserved better than to have his memory tarnished by letting his son reclaim lost honor so easily. The only way he would ever prove his bravery was to kill me, and every other warrior of the Crimson Moon Clan, because we would never serve him while breath remained in our bodies. Moon Gazer knew he could not do so, and the coward fled for good.]

 "So what? You're a Clan Leader, someone who takes honor seriously. It was within your rights to chew him out like that."

 [Even if the consequence is causing anarchy in the entire forest?]

 "So you just want it to end, and damn the consequences?"

 [I am old, Chosen One, and perhaps a bit nostalgic because of it. When Haruka-sama and my brother were still alive, the wolves ruled the forest, as we should still. But it was not the rule of fear the Clans have imposed now. We ruled then because the other tribes respected us. They trusted my brother to rein in the Clans' savagery, and to cull only the weak and old. In return, we were given great tribute from each tribe, so that we would not only feast on the dregs, but also eat well.

 [Those days will never return unless the Golden Moon Clan returns, and stops the disloyal Clans from destroying the other tribes with their over-hunting. If allowing Moon Gazer to win is the only way to restore order, I can live with the personal shame. My regret is that it has taken me this long to realize my folly.]

 "Okay, now we're getting somewhere. You want the Golden Moon Clan to come back and set things right. But I still gotta find Moon Gazer first, if he's even alive."

 [He is alive, but that is all I know for certain. There have been rumors coming from the desert and wastelands about an oasis near the edge of the forest. They say the animals of the desert have found a protector there, that a wolf defends them from other predators.]

 "You think it's Moon Gazer?"

 [None of the other Clans would range out that far. We are creatures of the forest, not the sands.]

 "Fair enough. So I'll ask you one last time, before I get Lord Shadow and head out there. Blood Claw, will you support Moon Gazer, if I bring him back to restore order?"

 [You have my word, Chosen. It is all I have left.]

 "I know. That's why I'll count on it."

* * *

 [I am confused, Naruto. If we are supposed to be looking for Moon Gazer's oasis, what are we doing at your house?]

 Walking down the path to the Uzumaki house, Naruto looked back at the Ebon Shadow, flying along behind him.

 "Two things. First, I have to find Itachi. You know how ferrets are; they should have a good idea about all sorts of rumors. Maybe they know where the oasis would be. Second, I gotta get some supplies handy, like maybe a canteen. We could be out in that wasteland a long time looking for Moon Gazer, and I'd rather not get turned into a crispy critter out there if I can avoid it."

 [I must admit that I had not thought you would plan things so far ahead.]

 Naruto sighed. Even the birds think I'm stupid?

 "Look, I wasn't the best student in the Academy, and I'll never be a genius like people say Shikamaru is. But I'm no moron, as much as I might look it sometimes."

 [Indeed not. You will surely teach that to many in the human and animal worlds alike.]

 "Flattery ain't gonna get you anywhere, you feathered know-it-all. Stay here, and I'll open the big kitchen window. You're too big to fit through the door."

 A hop, several skips, two jumps and a full somersault later, Naruto arrived in the kitchen only missing several strands of hair and half an inch off the back of his jacket, which was pretty good, considering what had happened the last time he'd tried to get a late-night snack without Setsuna to guide him. Strolling over to the plate glass window in front of the sink, Naruto looked around, trying to figure out how to let the raven inside.

 "Latch…latch…how the hell do you open this thing? Ah, here we go."

 His eyes locked on to a dusty metal latch at the top of the window, which the blonde Genin opened with a loud creaking noise. As Naruto pulled the closer half of the window inside, the raven chief swooped into the Uzumaki house, landing on the kitchen counter.

 [An interesting place. Is it true that this house is full of traps?]

 "I thought you knew all about my life already."

 [I do, but up until your aunt returned, you had never been in this house, and neither had any of my people. We may as well learn about the traps together.]

 Naruto would have responded, but as he opened his mouth, a pot smacked into the back of his head with an audible bong.

 "Learn outside, would ya? I've got the hangover from hell and I just woke up."

 The blonde Genin shrugged; seeing his aunt trying to overcome the effects of her latest hangover was nothing new, especially since her idea of negotiating with the builders of her restaurant was drinking them under the table before they signed any contracts.

 "Aunt Setsuna, it's almost sunset. When did you get in last night?"

 "Try this morning. I think it was around nine or so, because the Academy kids had just passed me on the way to school."

 Naruto shook his head, smiling a little. Geez, who's the parent and who's the kid? Digging open a drawer, the younger Uzumaki leaned his head out of the way as knives shot out from a spring-loaded rack, and pulled out an aspirin bottle, tossing it over to where Setsuna sat with her head on the table. One of the ex-waitress' hands shot up and grabbed the bottle, her head never moving. She spoke again, voice a dull croak worthy of the Ebon Shadow.

 "Water."

 Naruto shrugged and went back over to the sink.

 "Bucket or glass?"

 "Glass. The bucket's for customers."

 Pouring a glass of tap water, Naruto placed it down on the table beside his aunt's head as quietly as possible. No sense irritating her and missing out on free ramen for life.

 "So what did you squeeze out of them this time?"

 Setsuna's shoulders moved in something he assumed was supposed to be a shrug.

 "No more discounts for me, as long as they finished painting and stuff by today. In fact, if I could drag my ass out of here and go check on them, they should be done by now."

 Naruto considered the impact of that statement.

 "You mean to say…?"

 "Yeah, if he's there, Slinger owes you five free super-size bowls of ramen as your winnings from the poker game last week. If the kitchen's ready, you could even get them today. I told the nutty bastard you haven't played enough poker to know how to bluff. But hell, I'm not the one who bet everything against a kid holding a royal flush."

 Just as Naruto was about to brag about his poker prowess, something else crossed his mind.

 "Hey, wait a minute, Aunt Setsuna. Did you respond to the Ebon Shadow just now? The raven perched on the counter?"

 Again her shoulders moved.

 "Yeah, something like that."

 "Then why would they have asked me to be Speaker if you have the ability and you already knew about it?"

 [We asked her first, Naruto. Setsuna-sama declined to take the position of Speaker.]

 "What? But you gotta know better than I do what has to be done!"

 "Maybe. Ain't really sure myself, to tell the truth. But even if I did know all that, I can't do it."

 "Why not?"

 Setsuna's hand moved again, pointing to the aspirin bottle.

 "Take a wild flipping guess."

 "The restaurant…?"

 "Yeah. I can talk to the animals all I want and try to help, but you and I gotta eat. Can't be running a restaurant with wild animals coming in at all hours of the day, ya know. People start making a stink about the place being unsanitary."

 Naruto shrugged. Typical.

 "What a shocker. Can I at least bring in some of the animals now and then?"

 This time, his aunt actually sat up, revealing a set of bloodshot eyes she immediately closed before light could hit them.

 "Yeah, just keep 'em out of the kitchen. Look, Naruto, I realize I'm not the best parental figure, and I don't know half the stuff that you're really interested in learning. But don't think that means I don't care what happens to you or what you're going through. It just means I'm not always as available as, say, Iruka might be to you. If it's an emergency, come by the restaurant. Slinger and Miki do most of the work anyway."

 Naruto shrugged. He knew Setsuna was trying not to be as lazy as she had been at first, and he appreciated it. But it'll be a while before we really trust each other like parent and child, and we both know it.

 "I'll keep it in mind, but right now I got a job to do on my own. Where's all the survival gear? Tents, canteens, and that kinda stuff?"

 Setsuna set her head back down on the table, her moment of candor over.

 "Check the armory, in the box that's furthest away from the door. Your great-grandfather believed nobody was worthy of using survival gear if they couldn't survive to get it, so watch for more traps. And whatever you do, don't touch the sword on the pedestal in the middle of the room. It's a fake, meant to lure would-be thieves to their doom."

 Striding back down the hallway on the first floor, Naruto and the Ebon Shadow eventually came to a door marked "Armory." The Genin shrugged, not very impressed.

 "I wonder what the big deal is about protecting this place? If they were all Anbu, there shouldn't be anything in there but those straight blades."

 [Do not be so sure. Your great-grandfather was a great lover of weapons.]

 Naruto snorted, reaching for the door handle, and opening the Armory.

 "Come on, Shadow, you expect me to believe that he's got some huge stockpile of…stuff…?"

 The Ebon Shadow looked into the room as he heard Naruto's voice trail off, and immediately saw why. The stories were true. Uzumaki Kotaro was stubborn and a fool in many things, but nobody knew weapons as well, or had as many.

 The room they looked into stretched out at least two hundred feet, walls lined with dozens of weapon racks. Naruto glanced at each in turn as he stepped into the room.

 "What was he preparing for, a war? Spears, naginata, katanas, even a couple of no-dachis and a zanmato...he's got five whole racks just for kunai and shuriken alone!"

 [All possibilities for all situations. That was his philosophy. Your great-grandfather was a proud man, and being caught unprepared would have been a loss of face to him.]

 "Sounds like an uptight jackass to me. No wonder he and Aunt Setsuna never saw eye to eye."

 [That may be true, Naruto, but do not let your disagreement with his ways turn into disrespect. For all his faults, Kotaro-sama was still a respected Speaker and a just man. That is more than many animals would say about a human.]

 Naruto just grinned as he slowly crossed the floor, moving towards the box he wanted.

 "Never said I didn't respect his legacy. You can be a genius and a jackass at the same time. Just look at Neji."

 [Fair enough.]

 Strangely, nothing much happened as Naruto approached the survival gear. Was it his experience with the house kicking in? Or was it simply that the sword set in the middle of the room, hilt glowing with inlaid jewels and gold, was trap enough to protect the entire place? It bore looking into – after he'd gotten what he needed.

 "Great, he's got a tent and canteens. I'll just be taking these, and we're off to find Itachi. Hope you know where he lives, because I sure don't. He just appeared out of nowhere the day we met."

 The raven chief sounded a lot less confident in his answer than usual.

 [Actually…]

 "Don't tell me the Lorekeeper doesn't even know where a ferret would live?"

 [Unfortunately, I am mostly only familiar with the chiefs. Lord Yama, the chief of the ferrets, would probably know where Itachi lives. We can always go and ask him, since you would have had to meet him at some point anyway.]

 Naruto sighed.

 "You've got an answer for everything, all right. So show me where he is, and let's go. Gotta get into the desert before sunset, find some firewood and drag it along for tonight."

 [We should be off then. This is probably the only time of day Lord Yama is ever active, when he first wakes up. The rest of the time he is either sleeping, eating or generally doing nothing at all.]

 "You make him out to be like Aunt Setsuna."

 The raven chief made a sound like a snort as he flew back towards the entrance of the Armory.

 [For good reason. Where do you think he got his ideas?]

 "They know each other!?"

 [No, I doubt it. Setsuna-sama never did anything Speaker-related when she was younger. Once she found out that domestic animals like dogs and cats couldn't talk to her, it apparently "wasn't worth the effort" for her to go out and find the wilder animals in the forest.]

 "That sounds like her, all right. How did Lord Yama get his ideas from her?"

 [Even if he never met Setsuna-sama in person, the affairs of the Uzumaki family were always well known in the forest. Our welfare depends in large part on who the Speakers are, and how well they perform their duties. Your aunt's defection was the talk of the Konoha forest for years after she left. Lord Yama heard the stories about it as a child, and decided that it was possible to rule with as little effort as possible, as long as he gave it just a tiny bit more effort than Setsuna-sama. And when he said tiny, he meant it.]

 "So the ferrets are running wild like the wolves?"

 [Lord Yama would never allow his people to descend into chaos. I cannot say much for his work ethic, but he has some idea of his responsibilities. If a matter truly requires his attention, he will handle it. If it does not, he expects his people to take matters into their own paws. It would never work for any other tribe, but then the ferrets are scavengers; they are used to getting by on their own.]

 "They'd better be. I can only handle one tribe in chaos at a time."

 Genin and raven traveled the same careful route back out of the room, but Naruto found his attention diverted by the sword on the pedestal again, simply sitting there harmlessly.

 "Okay, hang on. Who would actually be dumb enough to touch that thing? It practically screams trap, even to someone who's not a ninja. I bet the gold and stuff isn't even real."

 [Is it wise to simply ignore what Setsuna-sama said, though? You know she would not go to the trouble of lying to you.]

 "I know that much. But it just doesn't make any freaking sense! If my great-grandfather was so hung up on his weapon collection, why would he only protect it with such an obvious trap? I gotta check it out."

 [Do you really think that's safe?]

 Naruto snorted.

 "Gimme some credit. I'm not gonna touch it myself – well, not technically anyway. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

 A clone of the blonde boy popped out in a cloud of smoke, as Naruto himself backed slowly out of the room, the Ebon Shadow swiftly following him. Both of them watched as the other Naruto stepped boldly up to the pedestal and grabbed the bejeweled sword hilt.

 Uzumaki Setsuna looked up from the table as she heard footsteps coming in her direction, figuring her nephew was done messing around and was ready to leave. As Naruto entered the room, the former waitress noted an odd look on the boy's face.

 "You touched the sword, didn't you?"

 He was silent for a moment before responding.

 "How'd you guess?"

 "There's only two ways for a human face to get that white, and you don't strike me as the type to wear makeup. Gramps always was touchy about his collection falling into the wrong hands."

 "Touchy? Throwing a temper tantrum is touchy. Kicking a goban over when you're losing is touchy. That was not touchy! That was downright psychotic!"

 "Welcome to my world, kid. Your mother and I had to go through that every day as kids. Well, not the violent part, but at least the psychotic part. Just be glad you don't."

 "Yeah, yeah, spare me the history lesson. I got what I needed, so I'm off. Don't know when I'll be back, so don't be drinking too much, okay?"

 Setsuna growled and set her head back on the table.

 "I heard you the first time. What are you, my mother?"

 "Nah." Naruto grinned as he leapt out the window, the Ebon Shadow behind him. "Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."

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