Ponder.

Those first few weeks were the hardest,

Having to do away with the love that was our garden

And...

I don't even think I know what we were building towards,

I think about the fights we had, so many heavy, loaded words

And...

Sometimes I wonder if there was anything that I could do

To get you to understand the depth of love I had for you.

And...

Life is layered in lies and lust and laughs and likes and little moments

There's only so much time that we can plant our seeds and grow with.

I miss you all the time

 I know you miss me too

 I know it...

But what does this mean,

 Why was it so damn hard to show it?

That was a different time

 Maybe it was just me below it.

I'm always sitting 

Think about what we could be

I wonder why it seems so difficult for you to just love me.

Could it be

 That I am not the man you always thought that I could be?

That maybe deep inside you have some other shifted view of me?

And...

I guess love is something I am just not meant to understand.

Like microaggression pre-proportioned between old lover's hands

And...

I'll just take you one day at a time, that's the best I can

Do with the view that I have of you right now versus back then.