Be able to.

I don't know if I will ever be able to love fully again...

I write poetry just to help break my own fall.

I struggle with a sense of existential anxiety 

And sometimes I can't see the point in continuing to live life at all... 

-

I've never been the type

To keep both of my feet on the ground.

Far too quixotic

Never failed to throw all my love around. 

-

And from the outside I look fine

But walls close in with a blink...

I get so nauseous

Whipping vomit off of the bathroom sink...

-

Shit, I meant the bathroom floor.

Fuck, I meant the bathroom door.

I couldn't hold it in...

I don't know which service absorbed more...

-

And I don't drink

Least I don't think

I did like I did before...

And I don't see

That side of me

It's buried in your rapport...

-

I look for answers

But I fill my mind with deeper dark holes.

I need to fill them in

The scars live on, but slices can close.

I mean, the damage will heal.

I mean, I...fuck it, who knows?

The past is just the past

We have to give that shit a fitting repose.

-

I don't know if I will ever be able to be able again...

I've lost a lot me while falling for a fair-weather friend. 

I struggle with a sense of waiting till I can see the end.

And sometimes I can't see the point in stretching if you won't bend. 

-

I've always been the type

To only keep one foot on the ground.

I'm far to vigilant

I have to keep from getting knocked down. 

-

And from the outside I look fine

But doors slide shut with a hiss...

I get so pissed

That I could slip my blade right over my wrist...

-

I meant right over my throat...

I meant right under my chin...

I want to call you

But I don't want to relapse once again.

-

You know I smoke

Because the jokes

Can only keep so much in.

But you can't see

That side of me

Like back when we were just friends...

-

I don't know if I will ever be able to...