Pondering.

I wonder where and who I would have been If there had been no you?

Or maybe just If I hadn't returned for that manic round two...

And

Sometimes I wonder would I maybe even have a kid...

If maybe...just maybe I would have stayed away like I once did.

I'll never blame you for the outcome of that summer.

I could have kept on skating but I stopped and took your number.

And

I'm glad I did because you've taught me many lessons.

So many highs and lows and in-betweens, it's all a blessing. 

I wonder If you'd have gone and left this city.

If I had never dreamed of trying to get you up there with me.

And

Sometimes I wonder If you would have found your lover.

If I had never convinced you to stay and try another...

I wonder If maybe you would have a kid or two yourself

If I had never forced my love upon you and your little shelf...

And

I wonder who the love of my life would have been.

I wonder If I met you sooner, would we have been friends?

I wonder what made me so captivated by your every move?

I don't know what about you blinded me to every flag and truth.

And

I wonder what about me kept you here...you could have just said no.

I would have lived with the rejection, would have healed from it, you know? 

I wonder...

I used to wonder why our love could never grow.

I figured out that it was me, that I would have to let you go...

And

I used to wonder what about me was so flawed...

I cried it out, then wrote these words, I tried to say it all.

And now I wonder where we'll be in several days and weeks and years.

I wonder what will become of the trauma and the fears.

And

I sit and wonder -sometimes- where it all went wrong.

I realize that we should have just stayed friends here all along.

It was for me to save you from him, I was never meant to replace him...

While falling for you slowly, I had to watch as you chased him...

And

I wonder what would life be like

Had I sent you away?

How things would be

If you and me

Had separated till today?