Chapter 4: Wanting You – Lust

There are things and people in life that we want most in this world and usually are the things we cannot have sometimes when we think we have love it's nothing more than lust and with lusting for the one we want most, we seem to lose love.

There was a time in Desire's life when she could finish Malik's sentences before his words had a chance to spring from his lips. She used to be able to read his mind; could tell what he was thinking by the expressions on his face. But now she looked into the face of a stranger. His brown eyes had lost their spirit and everything felt wrong. It felt cold like there was something between them that they had lost. Like seasons changing summer into fall, everyone knows that summer love doesn't last forever.

Desire thought of the reasons why it hadn't worked, but she only discovered that it had always been that way all along. She should have known after the first kiss that they would never be together. Desire scorned herself for asking him that night if that kiss meant that they were something more than just friends. He looked at her with those glistening eyes and said those taunting words "Just friends." Hook up, buddies. That's what they were. She wondered if there was a time when he ever really cared.

She was so enthralled by him that she couldn't see that she would never be anything to him. Desire wondered if he knew how obsessed she was with him if he knew she'd thought about him almost every second. Wondered if he knew that she loved him for all he was and fell in love with him for the person he was. She just wanted to know why he would tell her he loved her behind closed doors yet they were "just friends." Desire thought of how she talked to Malik on the phone last night. How she had at first used his strategy of lying, which is of course not giving all the details.

"Why can't you hang out tonight?" Malik asked.

"Already promised one of my friends I'd go over to their house," Desire responded.

"Well she can come along too," he said.

"No my friend is a boy," she said in a voice that hinted that they were more than just friends.

"Oh, someone's got a boyfriend," he teased. She wanted to say yes, she does have a boyfriend, but she couldn't bring me to say it, it wasn't true.

"What?" she responded trying to avoid his teasing, but even thou he teased there was a hint of anger in his voice like he had been betrayed.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," he said ending our conversation.

Desire was annoyed that he didn't care or at least acted like he cared that there was someone else in my life. It didn't matter to him if he lost her. She felt like he had some satisfaction from knowing that she loved him. He knew her well enough to know that she was crazy about him, but that also made things more complicated than they were. The next night things became different. So there she was contemplating over her emotions while waiting for him to call. He told her he was going to call her tonight and that they'd do something. But it's getting late and she still hasn't heard from him. She knew it was over, she lost him. Then again it had given her time to think as she walked back and forth waiting for the call that wasn't coming.

"Maybe," she said to herself "I was reading too much into this, I didn't need him there were more than enough men out there to give me the love that I deserved."

A couple weeks have gone by no call, no show, and no nothing. As she moped around her office, Steve from records walked in to hand a file to her and saw the drawn look on her usual vibrant face.

"How are you, Desire is everything ok?" he asked with concern in his voice.

"I'm fine." She replied with a small school girl grown.

He said ok as he was walking out the door to her office, then stopped in his tracks and turned.

"Desire would you like to come to Shock's Bar and Grill with me tomorrow night you know get out of the house and bring a smile to that beautiful face?"

Desire just stared at Steve wondering what his motive was but wait he wasn't Malik, Steve was a good decent guy the kind to love you forever. She looked up and replied, "yes I'd love to go."

It was Thursday night Desire paced back and forth waiting for Steve to arrive not because he was ten minutes late but because Shock's was her and Malik's place and she hoped with everything in her that he wasn't there. Steve had shown up with roses in hand apologizing for being late and there they were on their way. As they walked into the bar there was a sigh of relief on Desire's face Malik wasn't there. They grabbed a table and 2 hours later in conversation, a couple of shots and beers, and several kisses; Desire was feeling light-headed and excused herself to the restroom.

As she stood in the mirror she thought to herself this might work I don't need Malik when I have Steve! As Desire walked out of the ladies' room with great confidence to move on she felt someone pull her into the back store room throw her against the wall and kiss her with such passion she fell into the kiss when he let go and the room stopped spinning she looked up to what she thought was Steve and it was Malik.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Kissing my girl" He replied with that sly look on his face.

"I'm not your girl get off me you lost that right when you forgot I existed." Desire was angry now how he could, she was thinking but all those memories of those times when they were together flooded her head. She looked up at his "Goodbye"

"You don't want me you would rather be out there with that joke than be with me." Now he was being a smart ass and she knew it.

"Malik go away."

"Fine, you made your choice one last kiss and you could go."

"I'm not kissing you"

"You know you want to, I know you love me"

As she fought what she felt in her heart knowing she wanted to stay rip his clothes off and make endless love to him she knew what would happen if she did and started to walk away. He grabbed her hand and pulled her close putting his mouth to her ear "I love you please stay" he whispered. He started to kiss her with such passion she couldn't resist him he lifted her skirt unzipped his pants pulling her panties to the side he was in her, she wanted him so badly now she had him giving him all of her.

Slight groans of passion escaped her mouth her head buried in his shoulder as he pushed harder into her, her head tilted up to release all she had inside but when she looked up she realized Steve was staring at her with such a blank look she pushed Malik off and stood trying to gain composer. Steve couldn't believe his eyes he had been such a fool he turned and left. Desire's heart just dropped she didn't know what to do, what to say. She turned as Malik was zipping up his pants.

"I guess now you got what you wanted, you have me all to yourself." She said with a pained tone.

"Yeah, I got what I wanted a piece of ass." He said as he walked away laughing.