I Miss You, I’m Sorry

[KIYOMI]

Time had gone by so fast since the last time the good doctor had last seen her devil of an erasthai, and each day that passed, she hoped to see her or even run into her by mistake or anything; but then two months later, there was nothing.

Kiyomi didn't see or hear from the lycan queen, Otaru, let alone spot any of the queen's high guards around. It was almost like they had been a part of her imagination and that she had hallucinated about everything the entire time. 

Sure, she had her job back, and her best friend wasn't made for her, but she longed for more for the city that she had once dreaded. A lot had changed in the city, really and it was probably because of Kiyomi.

Who was she kidding, it was definitely because of her and she knew it.

The hospital was kinder to her, the people were nicer to her. There were no mentions of the Russians coming after her. She was at peace and even better, Sakura had bought her a huge apartment block, and put it in her name.

Kiyomi didn't have to live in the hospital anymore just because she feared the Bogdan Lycans. She was at peace and life was as it should have been in the first place. However, even then there was an emptiness that she couldn't quite fill.

"Oh, you're here again," Elif, who had just come back from her shift at the hospital, said to her best friend who was standing by the balcony, looking into the beautiful city that suddenly was meaningless for the good doctor. 

Kiyomi had wanted to have a life here and now that she had it, she wasn't sure she wanted it anymore. It felt so frail, so pointless like it was just another boring palace, which was not the truth and she knew it.

Odanera was a lively city, bustling with life throughout the day. There was never a difference between night and day in the city and that was one of the many reasons people came to live here.

"How was your shift?" Kiyomi asked, her questions getting more robotic by the day. She had been going to work, and coming back home directly without even stopping to greet anyone or hang out with the other doctors like she used to.

"Kiki… You don't look too well. You're lonely and we both know why," Elif pointed out as she sat on the swing chair on the balcony. She had seen her best friend go from the smiling doctor in the hospital, to the loneliest woman she had ever set her eyes on.

The emptiness in Kiyomi's eyes was more than obvious and Elif felt terrible for her best friend. Since the last time they had seen Sakura, Kiyomi had looked like she had some regrets and wanted to apologize to Sakura.

So, she had gone back to the penthouse she had once hated, and found it emptied. There was no sign of the Lycan queen there, or even a hint that she had ever once been there. And to make it worse, the penthouse had a new family in it.

She had gone to the Russians and got nothing. 

Yena hopsital was filled with Lycans but none of them was willing to say a word about where the queen was, because by the rules of their kingdom, only the authorized people were allowed the schedule of the queen.

And if Kiyomi was the queen consort and didn't know anything, they wouldn't dare say shit.

"You're thinking too much, Elif. Come on, let's go out. It's been a while since we had a lot of fun," Kiyomi said casually like she was talking about the weather, earning an indifferent stare from Elif.

Elif stared at her best friend like she had lost her mind. It was a Monday morning and the good doctor was feeling like shit, something that Elif could tell. But then who the fuck even went to drink on a Monday morning?

"It's Monday—"

"It's night somewhere, Elif. Let's take advantage of that and get high," Kiyomi said and Elif just sighed. This wasn't an invitation for her in any way. This was Kiyomi telling her where she was headed so she wouldn't worry.

Elif knew she didn't have to go if she didn't want to, but the last few times Kiyomi had been in the club drinking she had punched a few people a little too hard and exhaled them, almost like she was trying to sniff out Sakura.

But despite all of that, the Lycan queen, the same woman who despised careless Lycans and always ordered them dead, never once showed up to reprimand her. At the end of the night, Kiyomi had been depressed and hadn't eaten for a week.

She claimed that her Lycan abilities could let her starve for three months without water or food and she would just function like a normal person. That was destructive and Elif had felt defeated for the first time since she had known Kiyomi.

"Alright. I'll come along," Elif said and Kiyomi chuckled slowly as if to hide her loneliness.

"That's why I love you," Kiyomi said, her tone implying something they both knew didn't exist, but then Elif knew it was probably to trigger the universe into getting Sakura to her, and it never worked.

Oh, Kiyomi.

"Let's get going then," Kiyomi said as she cast a spell on herself and Elif to actually make them look like they were going on in the night. Even before Elif could say another word, Kiyomi had portaled the both of them to the club where most Lycans frequented.

The club was bustling with life as usual and the Lycans and humans in there were having the time of their lives. They looked like they could party till the day ended. Kiyomi, who had come to have fun, was seated at the counter, while Elif sat right beside her.

"The usual?" the bartender asked and Elif nodded, not being one to say anything. She was tired from her shift and needed to sleep. She wanted to get some rest, but if she left Kiyomi alone in here, there was no telling what she would break again.

No one ever had the guts to file a police report, because Kiyomi always wiped their memories, making them unable to even comprehend what had happened. It was like Kiyomi was throwing tantrums, but then the only person she wanted never came.

"I'll have water," Elif said and the bartender nodded in understanding. He had seen Elif and Kiyomi here enough times to know that Elif was always willing to pay more than the value of water as if that was an apology for whatever Kiyomi would do.

It wasn't healthy, but it was what they had been reduced to either way.

"I'm going to dance," Kiyomi suddenly said and Elif looked at her skeptically. This was the first time in the two months she had done that and frankly, it was worrying Elif even more than she had anticipated.

"Don't worry too much, my beautiful Elif. You will grow old and that wouldn't be fair. I'll be good, I promise. I might kiss the first person I see, but it won't be as bad,'' Kiyomi said casually, as she headed to the dance floor.

Defeatedly, Elif set her eyes on her best friend, hoping to the goddess that she didn't ruin someone's morning too, but then with Kiyomi, lately it was impossible to tell a lot of things.

But Elif could hope, right?

"Let's light it up!!" Kiyomi suddenly said, before she began casting fire spells and blasting the fireballs all over the club. It was a scary moment, and for the first time since Sakura had left, Elif wished that a woman was here.

Her sister had spiraled into madness with Sakura's absence which Elif herself never thought there would ever come a day when she wished for the psycho queen's presence. But would that even work for them at the moment?

"She will be murdered if the queen hears of this."

"Lycans should be casting spells in public like this."

"She might hurt someone and ruin our fun."

"Let's go before Chief Otaru comes for our necks."

"Shit, I smell the queen Sakura. We're in deep shit."

"Let's get out of here before we're toast like this bitch."

Elif felt the breath leave her with every word that came from the Lycans, and she hated that she still wanted the queen to come to Kiyomi's rescue. Then again, if what Kiyomi was doing was wrong, would she really be punished?

But what if that was what the woman wanted?

"Kiki—"

"Thought you wanted me gone, Petal?"