Who Needs Eldorado?

Descending from the gangway of the colossal shipping vessel, Alex and Drayvos stepped onto the bustling streets of Panama City, the vibrant energy of the port city immediately enveloping them. With only a brief stopover for restocking and waste disposal, the passengers and crew were granted a precious half-day of shore leave before the ship resumed its journey under the cloak of nightfall.

"Wow, this city is bustling with activity. We should definitely explore," Drayvos remarked, his voice seamlessly adopting a perfect American accent, a stark contrast to his rugged and dirtied toga—the sole garment he possessed.

"Woah!" Alex exclaimed, taken aback by Drayvos's sudden linguistic transformation. "Where did the sexy Greek accent go, big guy?"

"I thought you were teaching me modern American English?" Drayvos replied, his tone tinged with amusement. "Panama is a US ally, and it was once under US control until the 1970s, right?"

"You... you're right," Alex conceded, impressed by Drayvos's quick grasp of historical and language nuances. "But that doesn't mean you have to abandon your utterly divine, sexy accent."

"Very well, Alexander," Drayvos acquiesced, his thick Greek accent resurfacing with a hint of mischief. "I will keep accent for you, if it make you horny for me and make me sexy to you, I keep."

"Much better," Alex chuckled, sharing a knowing wink with his companion as they strolled through the lively streets of the Latin American port city.

"Ah, 'Big and Tall'—just the store we need!" Alex exclaimed excitedly as they entered a gentlemen's clothing boutique catering to the needs of larger American and European travelers frequenting the canal.

—

After trying on several shirts and pants, Drayvos finally found clothing that accommodated his towering frame. Admiring himself in the mirror, he basked in the satisfaction of finally having attire that fit properly. Meanwhile, Alex approached the checkout stand to complete his purchases.

With a confident swipe of his card, Alex expected a seamless transaction, but the cashier's solemn expression hinted at unforeseen trouble. "I'm sorry, sir, but your card has been declined," the cashier informed him apologetically.

Simultaneously, Alex's phone emitted a disheartening ping, signaling an incoming text message from his bank. "Authorization Request Declined: Insufficient Funds. Current Balance: $-115.22," the message read, delivering a crushing blow to Alex's already strained nerves.

"Dammit!" Alex cursed under his breath, frustration bubbling to the surface. "Fine," he conceded to the cashier, his voice tinged with resignation, "I'll put everything back."

Drayvos, noticing Alex's visible distress and escalating panic, approached him with genuine concern. "What is the matter, Alexander?" he inquired, his tone laced with worry.

"Put everything back, let's go," Alex commanded tersely, his emotions teetering on the edge of overwhelming him.

Drayvos complied silently, meeting Alex outside where he found his companion on the verge of a panic attack. "What is it, Alexander?" Drayvos pressed gently, his concern palpable.

"I...I...I'm broke, Drayvos," Alex stammered, his voice quavering with escalating hysteria. "This trip has completely drained my finances. I won't receive reimbursement until we return, and that could take weeks or even months. We can't even afford to buy you clothes, let alone anything to eat today..." His words trailed off, consumed by a sense of hopelessness.

"So you need currency?" Drayvos asked matter-of-factly.

"Yes, Drayvos," Alex replied, unintentionally snapping at his companion. "Unless you can conjure American dollars or Panamanian Balboa, we're shit out of luck here."

Ever the protector and guardian, Drayvos sensed the weight of stress on the man he loved and knew he had to intervene. As they wandered down tropical avenue, Drayvos's keen eyes spotted a wild tropical tree adorned with massive, spiky green fruit. Among them, an oversized ripe Guanabana, at least a foot tall and about ten inches thick, hung temptingly low, promising sustenance. With a flick of his wrist, Drayvos sent a small stone hurtling towards the fruit, dislodging it from its perch. With his long arms, he deftly caught it before it could hit the ground.

"Nice trick, but..." Alex began, only to freeze mid-sentence as Drayvos performed an even more astonishing feat—transforming the fruit into solid gold before his very eyes.

"Gold is still a valuable currency today, yes?" Drayvos inquired, presenting his stunned companion with the now several-hundred-pound chunk of pure 24 karat gold.

Speechless, Alex could only stare in awe at the miraculous transformation unfolding before him.

Drayvos sensed his companion's astonishment and offered an explanation with a casual shrug. "Ah, yes. Nephew Dionysus once played a similar trick on King Midas, causing everything the greedy king touched to turn to gold. Dionysus and Hephaestus bestowed upon me the same powers, but I have learned to control them, just as I can manipulate marble and metal." With a flick of his hand, he demonstrated his mastery by morphing the gold into solid marble, then tungsten, before returning it to its gleaming golden state.

Realization dawned on Alex, his despair giving way to jubilation. "Drayvos, do you know what this means?!" he exclaimed, his voice brimming with excitement.

"That you can buy me a shirt now?" Drayvos quipped, holding up the hefty chunk of gold with a mischievous grin.

"No, even better!" Alex exclaimed, his spirits soaring. "We can sell this gold and buy anything we need—shirts, houses, anything! Our money troubles are over, Drayvos!" Overwhelmed with joy and relief, Alex leapt into the air, free from the burden of financial worry, with Drayvos by his side.

Concerned for his companion's well-being, Drayvos hesitated, holding the piece of fruit back. Drayvos shook his head solemnly, his expression grave as he spoke. "No, Alexander. I have witnessed firsthand what riches and gold can do to even the noblest of souls, and I cannot bear to see it corrupt you. All I desire, all I truly need…" His gaze softened as it met Alex's, "is you, Alexander."

Touched by the sincerity of Drayvos's words, Alex felt a lump form in his throat, his eyes misting over with emotion. Placing his hands gently on the giant's arms, he spoke softly. "But you also need sustenance, clothing, shelter—a place to call home. These are the basic necessities of life," he explained, his tone earnest and matter-of-fact. "With my debts and your lack of employment, and with us thousands of miles from home, that piece of golden fruit may be our only ticket back."

Drayvos couldn't argue with the logic of Alex's words. "You make a valid point, Alexander," he conceded, handing the several hundred pounds of gold back to his companion. The weight of the gold immediately overwhelmed Alex, causing him to stagger and drop it with a heavy thud onto the ground.

Quickly recovering, Drayvos effortlessly lifted the gold once more. "Perhaps I should hold onto it," he suggested, concern evident in his eyes.

"Agreed," Alex nodded, wincing as he rubbed his strained hands. "And you should conceal it, wrap it in your toga."

"And how do we convert this into... dollars?" Drayvos inquired, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"We'll need to find a gold trading store," Alex replied, pulling out his phone to search for nearby options. "Panama City is known for its diverse economic landscape—home to both extreme poverty and unimaginable wealth. The trade and commerce that flow through this city have generated considerable wealth, making it an ideal location for our current quest."

—

Moments later, a disheveled Drayvos and a scruffy-looking Alex stepped into the opulent surroundings of a high-end luxury gold trading store, where lavish jewels and golden accessories adorned the displays, shimmering in the soft glow of the overhead lights.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but may I assist you?" inquired the store owner, she was impeccably dressed in a sleek black business suit.

"Don't say anything," Alex whispered to Drayvos, who simply nodded in silent agreement. Gathering his courage, Alex adopted the air of sophistication he had cultivated during his museum expeditions. "Yes," he replied to the store owner, his tone infused with authority. "We have just returned from an expedition in the jungle, apologies for our appearance," he added with a slight bow, acknowledging their less-than-immaculate attire. "Here are my Smithsonian credentials," he continued smoothly, producing his badge and presenting it with practiced precision. "While our expedition yielded nothing of interest to the museum, we did uncover one remarkable find, which we would like to sell…" Motioning to Drayvos, Alex encouraged him to reveal their treasure concealed beneath his toga. "This," he declared with a flourish.

With a resounding thud, Drayvos placed the foot-tall, ten-inch golden Guanabana on the counter, the weight of the massive fruit causing the surface to creak under its burden.

"A Guanabana made of pure gold," Alex proclaimed, his voice filled with awe as he and the store owner gazed upon the extraordinary artifact.

"Oh my!" the gold store owner gasped in astonishment. "That is quite the find!" Her eyes widened as she beheld the radiant gold before her. "And you wish to sell this?" she inquired, unable to conceal her excitement.

"Yes, indeed," confirmed Alex with a decisive nod.

"Very well…" The store owner paused, visibly impressed by the sheer magnitude of the golden fruit. "Shall we weigh it to determine its value?" she suggested, gesturing towards a precision metal scale capable of measuring to the nearest thousandth of an ounce.

With careful precision, Drayvos lifted the golden Guanabana and placed it on the scale, the display rapidly climbing as the weight of the gold was registered.

"Oh my!" the store owner exclaimed, her eyes widening in disbelief. "1,884.8 ounces of pure gold," she announced, her fingers flying across the keyboard as she calculated the value of their treasure.

The moment of truth arrived as she revealed the staggering sum on the checkout stand: "$4,045,582.59."

Turning to his companion, Drayvos sought Alex's approval. "Is this sufficient currency for our needs, Alexander?" he inquired, his tone tinged with concern.

"It's… it's…" Overwhelmed by the enormity of their unexpected windfall, and with a sudden thud, Alex collapsed to the ground.