Chapter Four

There were many times Theo wondered what the purpose of his life was. He cared for his two sisters and that was who he was- a caring brother. A protective brother. But what else? 

When he sat at night, holding the blade between his fingers, he would think about his purpose in life. If he died, would someone miss him? Alex would cry at his funeral, for sure. Nes would stand there with a blank face. She would be sad too. Jin also would miss him. But life would go on. He was just a life among many lives in this world. 

Still, he could not do it. He would press the sharp blade against his wrist, but he could never swipe it down. 

Theo looked around his room. It was a big room. He liked the space. It made him feel like he could breathe properly. 

His phone pinged. He unlocked it and checked messages. Meredith texted him. 

Baby, I'm sorry. Let's talk? Tomorrow night?

Theo rolled his eyes. How delusional could someone be? He never truly liked Meredith anyway. He made him feel better momentarily; it was the only reason he dated her. When she cheated on him for the first time, he thought he would feel something. Anger, resentment, or anything. However, he felt nothing. She yelled at him saying it was his fault she cheated. 

He checked another text, which was sent last night, around 2 last night. It was from Maia. 

I have to go. Friend in need. Let's talk tomorrow:)- she wrote. 

Theo and Maia had been texting for the past fifteen days. None of them went on a date. They only texted. They did not even flirt. In a way, Maia could understand him. He told her about his suicidal tendencies and Maia seemed to understand him. She talked to him all night sometimes when he felt down. 

Maia's death hit him hard, but he did not show it in front of others. He acted normal. He did not want them to see him so broken. 

Maia's text made him wonder. Who was this friend? Was she killed at that time? One thing was clear- someone told Maia to go there. 

Maia did not have any friends. Then who-

Alex barged into his room without knocking. "I swear to God, Alex, I told you-"

"The police- The police are here, Theo," Alex said, breathlessly. "They want to talk to you."

Two police officers were waiting for him in the living room with Nes eyeing them like a mother hawk. Jin was not here, which was quite a surprise since if anything interesting happened, Jin was always at their house. It was part of Jin's house too, sometimes it seemed. 

"You are Theodore Rao- Raothiel?" the male officer asked as if it was not obvious. 

"That would be me," Theo said. 

"I am Officer Patrick and this is Officer Ruby. We are here to ask you a few questions about Maia Bedi."

He must have nodded since the officers started right away. Alex offered them beverage and both of them chose coffee. She went to make them hastily as if she were looking for an opportunity to escape. Nes, however, decided to sit beside him. She did not press his hand or touch his shoulder like Alex would, but her presence made him feel better. It was comforting. 

"Can you tell us about your relationship with Maia?" Officer Patrick asked. 

He gulped involuntarily. "Maia and I chatted for a while."

"Since when?"

"Since the last two weeks or something. She one day texted me and said Nes was not picking her phone up and if I could ask her to check her phone. After that, we texted each other about random stuff."

"There was nothing romantic going on between you two? Certainly, Meredith Owen had something to add about it," Officer Patrick said. 

Nes muttered something under her breath. It sounded like 'unprofessional'. 

"No, I did not have any romantic relationship with Maia. In fact, we did not even meet face to face exclusively. I saw her at school and that's it. It's not like we have to go to school anymore. We are graduating in six days," Theo said as calmly as he could. He felt nervous. He had nothing to hide. But something about the way Officer Patrick was asking questions made him feel guilty. 

I have nothing to hide, he told himself. I will be okay. 

"Your girlfriend Meredith said you cheated on her with Maia," Officer Patrick said. 

"First of all, Meredith is my ex. We broke up. Secondly, I never cheated on her. As I said, Maia and I were only friends."

"We found her phone where her body was. It appeared she said in a text to you that she was going to meet a friend. Can you imagine who it was?"

"No." Theo shook his head. "We were not too close, so I did not ask who it was either."

"Maia had barely any friends. She was a little shy, her parents said. Yet, she said she was meeting a friend. Think about it. Have you never seen her with anyone?" 

It was not like Theo never saw her with anyone. Usually, she sat alone at the cafeteria. Once or twice, he saw her talking to the nice lady who cleaned their toilets. 

"No. I don't think so," Theo said. 

Officer Patrick nodded and turned to Nes. Officer Ruby was staring at Nes's eyes. She was trying to be subtle about it, but was not doing a good job. He did not blame her entirely. Nes's eyes could be a little unsettling sometimes. 

"Agnes Raothiel." Officer Patrick managed to pronounce their surname correctly this time. "We have some questions for you too, as you were her biology partner."

Nes nodded. She did not look nervous or stiff. She was calm, way calmer than Theo felt. Then again, Nes always looked she had the situation under control, no matter what kind of situation it was. 

Except for spiders. She fears spiders more than she fears the devil.

The questions Nes were asked was not that important. They asked him if she and Maia were close which Nes answered in the negative. 

"We only talked about biology, that's it," Nes said. "You can check the text messages, which I suppose you already have. Other than that, I never spoke to her."

Alex brought coffee just when they were leaving. They were polite enough to drink them. 

Before leaving, Officer Ruby gave us her number and told us to call her if we remember anything else. We said we would. 

Right after Alex closed the front door, they both turned to me. "You never told us you and Maia were close," Alex said. 

"We were not close. We simply chatted a few times," Theo said. 

"Ah, yes, not close enough, yet you talked to her about your suicidal tendencies. Sure, we will believe that shit," Nes said, rolling her eyes. 

Alex looked pained. She never said it as clearly as Nes did; Alex always said 'your situation'. 

"How do you know that?" Theo asked. He sounded accusing. 

"Officer Ruby asked us if we knew about it," Nes said. "You don't even talk to us about it. You said you would like to forget it. Like we are supposed to forget that two years ago, you cut your fucking wrists. How come you tell her how you still feel like committing suicide, when we know nothing about it?"

"Well, if that is not because you are so fucking controlling as if my life is something you get to shape!" he yelled. "No, Nes. I'm fucking tired of your bullshit! You always act like you are our mother!"

Nes stared at him, her gray eyes boring through him. She was angry. Theo wondered if she would slap him. Nes hated to be yelled at. 

However, she simply shook her head. "Then, why did you act like you didn't care when she died?" she asked calmly. Her calmness shocked him. "You acted like she was a stranger."

"Were you playing with her?" Alex asked. She hated the prospect of girls being treated wrongly in any way. 

"No, I was not. I just… Just leave me alone, okay?" he said tiredly. "I just want to be alone."

Alex looked at Nes who shrugged and left. She was going to tell Jin everything now, he knew. Was there anything that she did not share with Jin?

Alex touched his shoulder. "Nes doesn't mean anything bad, you know. She is worried about you."

"She sure has a way of showing it," he chuckled and shrugged her touch off. "I'm going to my room. Next time, no matter how serious the situation is, try not to come in without knocking."