Chapter Seventeen

Something was wrong with his memory. Theo realized it soon. The dreams were not just dreams. They were never just dreams.

He went to find Casta who said they were going to start their training the next day. They were a little late, but it would be fine. They did not need much training anyway.

It surprised Theo. As far as he could understand, Alex and he needed the most training as they basically knew nothing.

"You will be fine. There will be master angels to teach you," Casta said.

"Actually, that doesn't matter. I have a question for you," Theo said.

"Yes?"

"How old are you?"

"Why?"

"I need to know?"

"Hmm? I think a little more than 1200 or 1300. I lost count," Casta said.

Theo almost gagged. "Are you joking?"

"Of course not. Angels do not die unless they are killed or executed for crimes," Casta said.

"Then, don't angels become too many in number?" Theo asked. He was not here to ask these questions, but he could not help his curiosity.

"Well, it's not we don't lose angels in battles. A lot of angels are killed in battles. Trust me, angels never become too many."

Silence descended. Casta stared at him as if trying to understand what he was thinking.

"Theodore, do you want to ask me something?" she asked.

He nodded. "I have been having strange dreams. I don't remember them, but I feel like- they are not just dreams."

She looked thoughtful. "Well, do you remember anything about those dreams?"

"Just a little- It's just- I see myself as a young boy with people I don't recognize. I see a man who said he was my father, but he isn't though. I don't remember his face, but he was tall and white, which my father wasn't."

"Really?" she murmured.

"Yes. I don't know why, but these dreams kind of make me feel weird. As if I am missing something. As if I need to remember something."

"Well, dreams are not meaningless. Maybe these dreams are trying to tell you something."

"Tell me what?"

That my whole life is a lie?

Theo did not tell Alex about his dreams. After talking to her the other day, he realized it was a mistake. He should not have told her anything perhaps. But then again, he usually shared most of his thoughts with Alex.

Among the three of them, Alex and he was closer than any of them were with Nes. It probably was Nes's fault, as she always spent time with Jin. Even before meeting Jin, she acted distant.

"Do you love Jin?" Theo once asked Nes.

"I do."

"More than me? More than Alex? More than your family?"

"More than myself," Nes had replied without a shred of doubt. "That should tell you a lot."

It was weird how close Jin and Nes were even as best friends. Even if they were lovers, it was a little too much.

Theo never thought about it before, but now that he brought the matter to his attention, it actually seemed strange. The way Jin always backed Nes up, the way Theo once overheard Nes asking Jin to wash her back because her hand was sore when Jin and Nes slept together in her bed even though Nes always said she could not sleep if someone was beside her.

He knew, Theo thought. Jin knew. Whatever Nes did, Jin had to know. He knew and he did nothing about it.

Jin was always quite righteous. But he would support Nes, no matter what. Deep down, Theo knew he was right.

"I saw you going to the Mistress's office. What were you-" Daisy trailed off, probably seeing the look on Theo's face. "Hey, you alright?"

"Fine," Theo said. He was not a romantic. He dated only Meredith and it was not a good relationship. He was only there for the little comfort physical closeness brought him. Still, Theo knew that Daisy liked him.

Daisy was good, most probably. After all, she was an angel. A real angel. Or, she would not be here. Still, Theo did not feel anything for her and refused to lead her on, when he was in no position to date someone.

"Tomorrow, you three will start at the academy. Ah, no, you two. I forgot about…" Theo could not decide if it was an honest mistake or not. Either way, it made him even more bitter.

"I'm tired. Let's talk later," Theo said and walked away. He felt a little bad about it, although not as bad as an angel was supposed to feel. If something was wrong with Nes, something was probably wrong with him too.

Back in his room, Theo stood in front of the mirror. He tried to find the man who said he was Theo's father on his face. If he was Theo's father, he should look at least a little like him.

It did not matter. Theo could not remember that man's face or any of his features.

It was funny, Theo thought, how he did not look like his real parents either. None of them did. Theo, Alex, and Nes looked alike, with only Nes having a darker shade of skin than them and different eyes. None of them looked anything like their parents.

Are we adopted? Is that it? Is that why we only look like each other, but not like our parents? Is that why I felt no mental connection with Papa and Momma?

Perhaps their parents adopted them right after they were born. That was why there were baby pictures of them with their parents at home.

It was not home anymore. Theo suspected he would never be able to see the mansion again. It never felt more like home before now. Now, he missed it and wished he could sleep in his own bed again, walk those dark corridors, and sit on the roof, watching the stars at night.

Papa told him to be a kind and good man. Momma told him he needed to survive. Theo wanted to survive. He wanted to be a kind and good man. He wanted to help others.

But he also wanted to be happy. He also sometimes did not care what others thought or felt. He wanted happiness. After graduating, he wanted to do everything in his power to be happy.

Where was that life now? Now, he was an angel. Starting the next day, he would train to protect others, help others. But what about him and his happiness?