Epilogue 2 — After the Festival

One day, well after the end of the festival, when the town had settled down again… I was lounging on the sofa in the living room, poking at the yellow fuzz ball in the arms of the weirdly realistic empty shell on our couch, when Aqua said happily:

"Hey, Kazuma, I got a thank-you note from Cecily. 'The Axis Church (Axel Branch) has become something wonderful. In addition, the Eris Church has ensured that we will be able to cohost the festival again next year. All of this is thanks to the generous donation from your Mr. Satou. As such, we hereby and entirely on our own recognize him as an honorary Axis disciple.'" "Graaahhh!"

"Waaaahhh!"

I grabbed the thank-you letter and tore it to pieces.

"You're the worst!" Aqua said. "My precious follower went to all the trouble of writing that letter; how could you hate it enough to do something like that, you brainless NEET?!"

"How could I not hate it?! Why should I have to be one of your followers?!

That's cruel and unusual punishment!"

In the end, I gave everything I earned as adviser to Aqua. Somehow, when I'd heard that Aqua used not just her entire reward from the hydra but every penny she had been saving up to pay for the festival, I couldn't help feeling a little guilty. I'd also helped in refurbishing the ugly old church, and I thought that pretty much made up for me being behind this whole thing… "Heh-heh, you're a tsundere, Kazuma. And this is how a tsundere shows their affection, isn't it? Cecily told me. She said you have a lot of tsundere in you, so if you say you hate something, it's really your way of saying you like it."

"I hate you and that lady."

"…Why is it that I don't hear any hint of tsundere-ish cuteness when you say that?" Aqua sat down across from me, then tilted her head. "That's right— Kazuma, I wanted to ask you. I heard Eris showed up at that beauty contest. Do you know where she went after that? I can't believe she would come all the way down here and not even say hello to me. As her senior goddess, I'll have to give her a stern talking-to."

In a way, I was perversely impressed that Aqua could continue to act so high and mighty while causing so much trouble for her junior goddess. I stood up from the sofa and plucked Emperor Zel from the arms of Vanir's shell. I had been thinking of everything as pretty much wrapped up, but there was still the question of what to do with this little guy. The chick apparently had plenty of magical energy if nothing else; I wondered if there was some way we could put him to good use.

"Hey, if you treat Emperor Zel like that now, don't be surprised if it costs you later, okay? When he gets big and attacks you, don't expect me to stop him."

"All the more reason to finish him off now, while he's small."

"…It's okay—Emperor Zel is a magnanimous and kind creature, so you don't have to be so scared of him… Come on, Zel; come over here. That man there is as scary as the old butcher in town, so be careful of him."

What old butcher? Who was she talking about?

The emperor was safely back with Vanir's shell and I was lounging again when Darkness came in, rubbing her temples. Apparently, she had been out dealing with gubernatorial business.

"Phew… Work is over at last… I'm really grateful Lady Eris chose to grace us with her presence, but this sudden influx of people…" "Glad you made it. I guess it's not easy being governor. Lady Eris's appearance has made this town a real tourist trap, huh? But more bodies means a better economy, so that's good for us."

"I'm happy to see more people come through here, but… Anyway, my father completely recovered during the festival. Today was my last day of that awful job as governor, and I want to go on a quest to relax a little."

Darkness looked like she had been freed from a curse.

"Huh? What are you talking about? I'm not working anymore, for real this time, okay? I don't have any reason to. I'm thinking about using my Cooking skill to open a little restaurant, one staffed entirely by cute young women—just as a hobby—but as for quests or whatever, I'm out. You with me, Aqua?"

"You're right. I think I'd better take a break for a while—I want to focus on raising Emperor Zel. I've used up the money Kazuma gave me on rebuilding the church, and funding next year's festival, and also drinking and stuff, but I think I'll keep living the easy life on Kazuma's dime. I won't be going on any dangerous quests. Yes, I think I'd enjoy lying around the house, being venerated at the festival once a year…" Ah, good to know Aqua agreed with— "…Hey, wait a second. Why should I have to fund your laziness? I could see covering your meals, maybe, but earn your own pocket change… And are you saying you already spent everything I gave you?"

"Uh-huh. But don't you worry about my pocket change. I've got a second and a third great idea for making money."

… Darkness was irate. "After all the trouble you got into during the festival, you both still…? And you, Aqua, just what kind of ideas do you have? Be absolutely sure you consult with me before you do anything."

"Don't wanna."

...…Aqua plugged her ears to block out the lecture Darkness was starting in on.

I cradled Emperor Zel in the palm of my hand as I watched them. Megumin, who must have been up on the second floor, came down wearing her usual dress. She smiled happily to see her friends in one of their familiar arguments, then sat down beside me.

"We worked so hard to make that festival happen, only to have it end with us still sort of flailing about and without any especially fun events. I suppose that's very much like us," she said.

"No kidding," I answered. "The festival was supposed to be crazy and fun and even romantic. And here we got some pitiful fireworks display and had to fight off a bunch of monsters. I wish it had gone on a little longer. I would have liked to at least have a proper fireworks show."

I couldn't resist complaining a little, remembering how nicely things had seemed to be going for me around the time of that fireworks display.

Megumin giggled. "…By the way. Kazuma, you said it was your birthday, right?

I must give you a present."

"Aww, don't worry about it. But I admit I'm curious what it would be. Not some weird rock like Aqua gave me, right?"

I spoke jokingly, but Megumin leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"Will you come to my room tonight? I have something important to tell you."

(Image)