A Night’s Dream with This Red-Haired Beauty!

1

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the gate of the capital for the first time in quite a while.

Maybe people teleporting in to the nation's capital wasn't all that unusual, because the soldiers guarding the main gate didn't so much as blink when we appeared out of thin air. They were focused past the gate, no doubt on the lookout for any monsters that had managed to get by the front line.

Showing up here made me think of my beloved little sister Iris, and I was eager to rush into the city and see her, but my understanding was that they were still searching for the mysterious, enigmatic, and very cool thief who had broken into the castle some time ago and had never been found. I would hate for my aura of incredible awesomeness to attract undue suspicion and land me in a room with another of those lie-detecting magic bells.

I put down my backpack.

"Okay. We're all set to travel already, and we can get going for the fortress anytime, but I'd like to start by pumping those guys for information. I have an idea."

I left everyone else standing at the front gate and looking at me quizzically, and I approached the guards.

"Hello there. Fine work you're doing. Man, it's a hot one today, huh?"

"Oh, a traveling adventurer, are you? Maybe you've heard, but the capital is currently on alert for an attack by the Demon King's army. Don't just hang around out there—come on in to the city." Despite my friendliness, the guard showed no sign of letting his vigilance lapse.

"Oh, I don't need anything in the city. My friends and I heard the country was in a pinch and came running. We want to go reinforce the fortress on the front line."

"Reinforcements? You? …We appreciate the help, but I've got to say you don't look very ready for this. Are you going to be all right? The area around the fortress is crawling with elite enemy troops, you know."

My expensive equipment was all brand-new, but it was true that it was entirely light armor. I could understand if I didn't look very powerful at first glance.

"Now, now, can't have you underestimating me. I may not look like much, but I've defeated generals of the Demon King before… That's right—my name is Kazuma Satou. I assume you've heard of me?"

One of the guards goggled at my claim. "Huh?! Give me a break; you can't possibly be—" But the other guy interrupted him, looking over to where Aqua and the others were waiting. "H-hang on a second! I don't know about this guy, but I recognize the ones behind him!"

"You're right ! Isn't that little one the girl who blew away the Demon King's entire army with her explosion magic?!"

"Wait, and that's Lady Dustiness! Lady Dustiness, the one who can repel a whole crowd of monsters all by herself, is here!"

"I remember that blue-haired priest, too! Last time the Demon King's army attacked, she kept us going with support magic and healed the wounded!"

The soldiers ignored me, pointing to my companions.

It was true that the last time we had been here, we'd been involved in a major action to repel the Demon King's army, and apparently, they remembered us.

"Well, this ought to make things quicker. Yes, we're—" "Just a second, now I remember you! You're the guy who got killed by those kobolds!"

...…Um.

"Oh yeah, that does sound familiar. Some guy got all full of himself, rushed out ahead, and ended up getting worked over by the kobolds."

"You're too weak to be hanging around here. Way, way far away from the capital, there's a town for new adventurers called Axel. I'd recommend going there and raising your level a bit."

"Yeah, there are lots of powerful monsters around here. Hey, are you working for those ladies back there? Sorry, but you don't even look strong enough to carry their bags…" Oh, these guys are gonna get it.

…No, I'd better not lose it just yet. There was a reason I was talking to these soldiers.

"So, at the very least, you understand that we're a party of highly capable adventurers. And very balanced, too. In addition to me, the leader, we have an Arch-priest, a Crusader, and no fewer than two Arch-wizards. How's that for a lineup?"

"That's incredible! …And you, the leader—what's your class?"

"…Now, to the point. My party and I are about to set off to reinforce the besieged fortress. But strong as we are, we don't know the way. If there are any other adventurers or soldiers heading out to the fortress, we wondered if we might be able to go along with them. Of course, since you'd be guiding us, we wouldn't charge any bodyguard fees, so don't worry."

I ignored the soldier's inconvenient question and pressed on to my goal. The fortress was supposed to be just a couple of days' walk, but there were also supposed to be a lot of tough monsters on the way. Under the guise of asking for a guide, I was really hoping to buy us strength in numbers.

To be honest, the only one of us I could really count on in a fight was Yunyun.

So we would act tough, but it was really the "guide" who would be protecting us.

It was a perfect strategy. Almost.

"'Fraid that's not possible," one of the soldiers said. "That enemy general is just too much. Adventurers are coming back from that fortress in tatters, one after another. His Majesty and the prince went there to rally the troops, and even they've been evacuated. Believe me, no one's crazy enough to head to that fortress on purpose."

"Huh?"

Okay, wait, hold on. This sounds way worse than I heard.

While I stood frozen, the soldier went on. "We can't guide you, but I'll get you a map to the fortress and a breakdown of monsters in the area. I would tell an average adventuring party not to go, but I think your group can manage. Give 'em hell! Your name was Kazuma Satou, right? I'll be sure to let the castle and the Adventurers Guild know that Kazuma Satou and his stalwart party are headed to the front!"

"…Huh?"

Uh, I'm starting to rethink the whole reinforce-the-fortress thing.

"We're counting on you! And so are all our embattled brothers at the front!"

"Yeah, I saw you guys kick the general of the Demon King's ass last time! I'm sure you can do it! Go get 'em!"

"Great, I'm going to go tell everyone I can find about this! The populace is going to be thrilled!"

Unable to speak, I could only watch the conversation spiral out of hand until I was left with nothing but the map and the monster guide they gave me.

""""Good luck, adventurers!"""" "Uh, sure."

Map in hand, I trudged back to where the others were waiting.

"…Check this out. I managed to finagle a map to the fortress and some info about the local monsters."

"That's pretty good going, Kazuma. We were too far away to hear what you guys were saying, but it looks like you did some serious negotiating."

"Sometimes you're surprisingly capable, Kazuma. Let's go, then!"

…Er.

Was it just me, or could I practically hear my escape being cut off?

2

The fortress was supposed to be two days' walk from the capital if all went well, and there were lodgings available at the halfway mark.

There were, of course, no carriages headed anywhere as dangerous as the front line, so we set out on foot with the goal of reaching the midway point.

"Um, everyone, if you get hungry, just let me know. I brought lots of snacks!

And I also learned Basic Magic, so I can make good, clean water at any time. If your throat gets dry, I've got you covered! Oh, Megumin, wait! It's dangerous that way—the path isn't stable!"

"Oh, will you stop already? You continue to act like a child on her first trip!

We will be walking until late tonight, and I recommend you conserve your energy."

Yunyun walked quickly at the front of our party, her crimson eyes shining with the joy of being on a big group trip. We'd already traveled together a little when we all went to Crimson Magic Village, but maybe an overnight like this was just different somehow.

She wasn't the only one who was happy, either.

"Hey, hey, I wonder what these are. I've never seen these fluffy, floaty things around Axel."

"Hrm… Hey, Aqua, those are fluff sprites called Gossamers. They're totally harmless, so just leave them alone… Hey, what did I just say?!"

Aqua's eyes were shimmering as she ran around after the mysterious floating puffballs.

"Some believe that the Gossamers are cousins of the Snow Sprites," Megumin said, "so you might want to leave them alone lest the Great Sprite leading them attacks you."

I took the opportunity to voice a question that had been bugging me. "Hey, Megumin, do you really think we should have brought her?" I pointed to Chomusuke, who was sticking close to Yunyun's heels as the wizard walked happily ahead of the group.

I hadn't seen any reason to deliberately drag the black fluffball into a war zone, but Megumin had insisted there might come a moment when she would be of help to us.

"We will only know once we arrive. But it's possible she and she alone will be all that allows us to control the Demon King's general."

No matter how much I pressed, that was all Megumin would say. Honestly, it was hard to imagine the little black ball of fluff, who was practically Yunyun's best friend after getting food from her, could in any way be described as a "dark god."

"A-Aqua, really, that's enough now; let it go…" "I just want to pet her a little more. Her fluff reminds me of Emperor Zel."

"You only just left Zel behind this morning."

Listening to the placid conversation taking place behind Megumin and me, I found it hard to believe we were really going to the front line.

So naturally, that was when it happened.

I had completely let down my guard, until my Sense Foe skill started tingling.

I'd gotten so used to the quiet life that I was slow in responding to the alert from my skill. I was just turning to warn everyone when— "Hold it right there, adventurers! This is the end of the line for you! Put down your money and your stuff, and maybe no one gets hurt!"

Our path was blocked by a group of armed men, one of whom was threatening us. Even if he did sound like he was reading from a script. When I saw the group of grimy, grizzled men, I was immediately more excited than ever.

And why not, right? For the first time since coming to this world, I was encountering an event that practically screamed You're on your way to the top of this fantasy world!

Aqua appeared to be having the same thought.

"Kazuma, bandits! I've never seen bandits before! I can't believe there are people who would run such an inefficient operation in a world crawling with monsters!"

Then, eyes gleaming, she looked back at the men.

Before I got here, I had assumed every "alternate world" had poor public safety, with roads and highways crawling with robbers. That was what the fantasy realms I'd known had led me to expect.

Reality, though, wasn't so accommodating: In a world teeming with monsters, you would have to be crazy to live in the hills as a bandit instead of in a well-fortified town. Heck, if you were strong enough to survive in the monster-infested wilderness, then you would never resort to banditry, waiting and hoping for your next mark to come along. It would be a lot safer and more profitable just to become an adventurer.

Okay, so adventuring wasn't the most stable of professions, but it sure beat having to stay out of town because you were public enemy number one, constantly afraid of being found by a patrol of knights—or the local wildlife.

And it looked like it wasn't just Aqua and me who were impressed by encountering this most rare of creatures, the highway robber, in his native habitat.

"Kazuma, Kazuma! We've encountered a humanoid monster said to be even rarer than the Duxion!"

"It's true! A real bandit! All the times I've traveled alone, and I've never seen one! When I get back to Crimson Magic Village, I'm going to brag to everyone I know!"

The obvious enthusiasm of the two wizards only made the men angrier—but I couldn't help noticing Darkness was uncommonly quiet.

No, it was more than that. Her body was racked with little quivers: I could tell she was shaking with joy to finally meet something she'd been dreaming of for a long time.

Confronted with our total lack of fear, the bandits finally exploded. "You think we're being cute?! Hurry up and make with the cash!" The bearded man who looked like their leader glared at us and shouted.

Yeah, that's the stuff! He's got the part down pat!

As we all grew ever more excited, Darkness stepped out in front of us to block off the bandits. "You men reek! You haven't even bothered to bathe! Here you live a reprobate life in the mountains, your eyes glinting with greed! You bandits, who would take advantage of even the most helpless young woman! I, Lalatina Ford Dustiness, on my honor as a knight, shall not back down from the likes of you!"

Darkness's cheeks were flushed redder than I had ever seen them.

"Dustiness…?"

"H-hey, did she just say Dustiness?"

"As in, House Dustiness? She does have the blond hair and the blue eyes!

That's how you know she's a noble!"

Now it was the bandits' turn to be impressed. But Darkness ignored them.

"You said to hand over our money, but it's never that easy, is it? I can see it in your eyes. Once you've relieved us of our weapons, I know just what you'll say!

'Hey, on closer inspection, this one's a real find! Heh-heh, she'll fetch a pretty price…!'" Immediately after she had announced in one breath that she was going to act like a lady, this pervert started running her mouth in the next. The men scattered in every direction.

"And it won't end there! 'Chief, let us try out the goods before you put her up for market,' you'll say! Then the one who looks like the leader will grin and answer! Yeah, you! 'Sure, sure. Can't expect a gem this fine to go untouched forever…' …H-hey, you, where do you think you're going? Why are you running away all of a sudden?!"

She seemed genuinely confused as she watched the bandits recede into the distance.

"A noble means the knights can't be far behind! Everybody run!"

"And did you see those red eyes? She's Crimson Magic Clan!"

"Y-you, wait! When faced with such nubile young women, can you really just run away?! It's all right—there aren't any knights! Wait, remember your honor as bandits…!"

I held back the idiotic Darkness from going after the robbers.

3

"Argh, it's your fixation on chasing those guys that got us into this mess."

"Erg… B-but I'm a knight! I couldn't just let them go to continue threatening the people…" It was pitch-dark outside, and we were sitting around the fire in the middle of the camp we had made. A certain moron had insisted on trying to hunt down those bandits, so we'd spent all our time looking for them instead of reaching the midway point of our journey.

"I was eager to hunt those bandits myself," Megumin offered. "They are very rare monsters, and I hear that when you beat them, they drop money."

"You, stop calling them monsters." Yes, they were criminals, but the word was robbers.

"Since we're sleeping outside, I guess we'd better post a guard, huh?" Aqua tossed a twig into the fire, then stirred the stewpot sitting over the blaze. "We could get in real trouble if we don't watch out for monsters."

The stew smelled delicious.

"Er, I-I'm sorry. I'll be happy to stand watch. I'm confident in my stamina. You can all just get a good night's rest."

"Miss Darkness, I'm happy we're camping out! Don't worry—I'll stand guard!

You can count on me!" Yunyun was exceedingly cheerful, in stark contrast to the apologetic Darkness. It didn't look like she was trying to be considerate. She was genuinely happy.

Megumin just looked at her and said, "…No more all-nighters for you. I assume you were so excited for this trip that you didn't sleep last night, either."

"H-how did you know?!"

Seriously, like a kid on a vacation.

"Okay, I'll take guard. I'm a night owl anyway. And I have the Sense Foe and Second Sight skills. Once we've eaten, we'll put out the fire so it doesn't attract monsters."

Darkness looked dejectedly at the ground. "I'm sorry, Kazuma; this is all because of my carelessness…" "No kidding. You're a big girl now. You should know better than to go running off after every older guy you meet."

"Don't worry. It's just that those were highway bandits earlier, the archnemesis of female knights everywhere, and I sort of lost my head. I've already decided that I'll only allow myself to be exploited and tortured by certain enemies."

"I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't want to know, but good."

I kept my face as serious as the one Darkness was making as she spewed her nonsense.

It was quite some time after we had finished our relatively late dinner, and everyone, tired from walking all day, had dropped off to sleep.

We had doused the fire, and I was standing watch alone, using Second Sight to help me see in the dark. I thought it might help me get a peek at what all the girls looked like asleep.

But then, from the shadows not far away, Sense Foe alerted me to just a hint of a monster's presence.

The fire was out, and it was a cloudy night, so there were no stars to see by. I didn't think even nocturnal monsters would find us very easily, but still… Just to be extra sure, I touched my companions and activated the Ambush skill. Yes, it looked like I was trying to cop a feel on them while they were all asleep, but this was an important emergency measure, nothing salacious.

At any rate, I figured this would keep us from being discovered.

I held on to that assumption for all of two minutes, until Sense Foe clearly indicated the monster was coming our way.

I thought it was early enough that the date hadn't even been changed yet.

And then I realized what this monster was.

It had to be an undead coming for Aqua.

I remembered being down in a dungeon with Aqua and discovering that Ambush didn't keep the undead from swarming us.

We were cornered. Should I wake everyone up? But if we were going to wake up and fight, we would need light. That would run the risk of attracting other monsters, and some undead reacted unpredictably to light.

I could handle one or two zombies or skeletons on my own, right? I had Second Sight, and when they got close enough, I could just drop them with my Deadeye skill.

It sounded easy enough. I waited for the creature to get closer.

There was a heavy, unpleasant sound.

Shhp.

It sounded like something wet being dragged along.

Shhp.

It sounded too big for a zombie. I stared intently, but for some reason, I couldn't make out the shape of the enemy.

Getting an increasingly bad feeling, I tried to wake everyone up.

"Hey, something's coming. I think it's an undead… Hey, wake up. Aqua.

Aqua!"

Three of my companions opened their eyes right away, but the one we needed most at that moment wouldn't come to. The very culprit who had brought this undead upon us seemed bent on sleeping through the entire thing.

Shhp.

I drew my sword and pointed it in the direction of that heavy noise.

"Somebody wake that idiot up! I don't know why, but I can't get a sense of the enemy's shape with my night vision. Get some light!"

Darkness drew her great sword and stood fast while Megumin shook Aqua.

"Aqua, Aqua! Please wake up! We think there are undead here!"

Aqua didn't even flinch. "So sleepy… Tell them I'll let them go…just for… today…" "You damn moron, this is no time to sleep! That thing is coming for you, so get out of bed! Kindle!!"

I shouted out my fire spell, throwing more MP into it than usual.

A magical flame appeared on the ground, but with nothing to feed the fire, it would disappear quickly, no matter how much magic I had put into it.

I took one look at the creature in front of us and understood why my night vision hadn't worked on it.

I had been looking at it for a lot longer than I'd realized.

The reason I couldn't see the outline of it was because it was simply too big.

"Ah… Ohnonono… Wh— Wh-wh-wh-wh…?!" Megumin was inarticulate at the sight.

"No way… Wh-what is that doing here…?!" Yunyun had probably known some powerful opponents in her time, and even she grimaced and backed away.

Darkness, who had never met a foe she didn't like to throw herself at, gulped heavily.

"…W-wake Aqua up… W-wake her up, quick…," I said dumbly as I looked up at what was standing in front of us.

" !!!!"

An indescribable sound tore through the night. It might have been trying to howl, but its vocal cords had rotted away, and it didn't manage it.

Each time it opened its huge jaws, trying to make a noise, it vomited something out. Something that hit the ground with a wet splatter: rotten bits of bodies.

"An undead, and a dragon to boot. As a paladin, there could be no greater honor! The three of you, keep back!"

Darkness moved to cover us, hefting her great sword.

" !!!"

The monster must have been able to sense her hostility, because it made that voiceless sound again, then started dragging its huge body toward us…!

"Aquaaaa! Dear, sweet Aquaaaa! It's a dragon! There's a zombie dragon here!

Quick! I'm begging you—wake up and do somethiiiing!"

This thing looked big enough to knock over a house with one casual shove.

The zombie dragon spread its wings, making it look like the massive creature had gotten even bigger.

I kept shouting at Aqua, feeling more hopeless with each passing second.

Aqua, the only one of us apparently not worried at all, just muttered and turned over in her sleep… "Mnn… A zombie dragon… Emperor Zel could deal with that…" "Get out of dreamland and help us deal with this thing before you become zombie dragon food!"

That was when the monster jumped right at Darkness.

"Turn Undead!"

When Aqua's magic hit the zombie dragon, it gave one of its voiceless screams and vanished in a glow of light. You could sure count on her to deal with the undead, if nothing else.

I was just about to thank her, when… …?

Wait a second, now that I think about it, she's the one who brought that zombie dragon here.

I looked at Darkness, who was laid out on the ground; Yunyun and Megumin were rushing over to her.

"Darkness! Hang in there, Darkness! It's just a flesh wound—open your eyes!"

"Megumin, don't shake her! W-w-w-we have to stay calm!"

If Aqua would have just woken up and purified the darn thing, Darkness wouldn't have been knocked out trying to protect us.

"Heh-heh, it looks like even a zombie dragon is no match for me. Kazuma, I think a little praise and maybe even some worship are in orderrrrghhh?!"

I wordlessly grabbed Aqua's cheeks with both hands and applied Drain Touch.

"Hey, just what do you think you're doing?! I can't fight back when you ambush me like that!" Aqua swept my hands away, her eyes full of tears.

"Well, why do you think I ambushed you?! Look at the state Darkness is in!

You drew that zombie dragon here. The least you could do is wake up when we shout at you! I'm going to drain enough vitality from you to compensate for the sleep I lost standing guard, you hear me?"

"What?! N-no way! You caught me by surprise once, but you won't get me with a little Drain Touch next time. I've even resisted a drain from an actual Lich! Just try me. I'll show you what I can do!"

Just how self-centered can a person be?!

I decided to ignore Aqua and the weird pose she was striking; instead, I went over to Darkness and used Kindle to get myself some light to check on her.

While I had been trying to wake Aqua up, Darkness had taken a direct hit from the monster… "Heal!" Aqua intoned, and then she continued. "That's my Darkness. Zombie dragons can't use their breath weapons, but immortality takes the cap off their physical strength, so they hit much harder than a living dragon, see? You're lucky not to be in a million pieces after a direct hit."

Come to think of it, it was unusual for Darkness to just go under like that. I guess it only underlined how tough the monsters out here on the front line really were.

…And if they had zombie dragons, did that mean they had living dragons, too…?

No, no. The monster guide listed zombie dragons, but it didn't mention living ones, so we would be fine in that regard… I hoped.

Beside Darkness, her armor dented and scuffed, Megumin and Yunyun were keeping a worried watch.

…And that was when I noticed it.

"Well, great. With the magical light from that battle and Kindle and everything, a bunch of monsters are heading this way. My Sense Foe is going nuts. No choice—we've got to move. Aqua, I'll carry your and Darkness's baggage, so you carry Darkness."

"What?! Carry Darkness? But she weighs so much with all that armor! How can we even move when it's this dark anyway?!"

As I gathered up the bags, I replied, "Cast a strength buff on yourself. It wouldn't be enough for me, but for you, with your high stats in everything but Luck and Intelligence, it should do the trick. But cast one on me anyway. I'll be carrying three people's luggage; it'll be tough without help. Megumin, Yunyun, each of you take one of my hands. I can see in the dark, so I'll lead you—just try not to fall."

I hefted the luggage onto my back.

Urrrgh… That really is heavy…!

"Geez, Darkness, I know you're in full armor, but how can you weigh so much? And she smells weird. Kinda bitter. I bet it's 'cause that dragon chomped on her…" "…Keep that to yourself, okay? You know how sensitive Darkness is about her muscles."

Every time Aqua took a step with the armored Darkness, there was an audible clank.

We worked our way through the murk of the cloudy, starless night.

Up at the front, Aqua, the only other member of the party who could see in the dark, said, "You know, walking in the dark like this reminds me of when you and I went dungeon crawling, Kazuma. I seem to remember you constantly trying to grab my butt."

"Hey, don't go spreading baseless rumors."

Megumin whispered, "Despite that encounter with the zombie dragon, and the fact that we're now fleeing through the dark from a crowd of dangerous monsters, somehow I feel very relaxed. We could hardly be called a strong party by any means, yet I can't help thinking that with all of you around, everything's going to be okay."

I felt her squeeze my hand just a little tighter.

…I was ashamed of myself for the way my heart started to race from just that one little gesture.

"That's so wonderful… I wonder if I'll be able to have a party like yours someday." Yunyun, holding my other hand, sounded downright envious… At that moment, for some reason, Megumin squeezed my hand extra hard.

"Oh, I very much doubt it. You would need to have some friends first, Yunyun."

"?!"

"H-hey, you, don't ruin a perfectly nice moment!"

Darkness finally opened her eyes after we'd been walking for a while. And wouldn't you know it: Eventually, we saw some lights marking the midpoint of the trip.

All I'd heard was that there was a place that offered lodgings, but we discovered a building the size of a noble's mansion, surrounded by a sturdy wall. We followed the lights until we found a distinctive sign.

"It says this place is a hot-springs inn… That reminds me of the time we all went to Arcanletia together," Megumin said with a fond chuckle.

Darkness apparently felt the same way, because she said, "Mm, I remember how Kazuma tried to eavesdrop on our conversation from the men's side."

"M-Mr. Kazuma, did you really do that…?"

Uh-oh, Yunyun was looking at me like I was human garbage.

"You know, Kazuma, most of the hot springs in this area are mixed baths," Aqua said. "I'd sure appreciate it if you could bathe after the rest of us are finished. I'd be afraid for my safety otherwise…" "Bah, you're being way, way too self-conscious. And anyway, I have the right to do what I want, too."

Aqua and I were about to get into it when Megumin gleefully said, "Let us go, then. I doubt there will be very many people in a place like this. We may practically have it to ourselves."

"I get first bath!" Aqua exclaimed. "Or do you want to go together?"

"Good by me," I said, but my little addendum went completely ignored.

"Hold on just a minute. I seem to remember you ruining the baths in Arcanletia, Aqua. You should go last."

"Well, maybe it would be fun for all of us to be together once in a while. A little something special for our trip."

"A bath together… Together…" We entered the inn with the girls still jabbering.

…Hey, how about you listen to my suggestion?

It looked like I was going to be left on my own, but then Megumin turned back. "Maybe you'd like to join me?" she said, then giggled mischievously.

Yeah, sure. And if I say yes, you'll just get all upset.

I was squeaking a little inside, but then Darkness turned around, too. "We'll try to be quick, and then you can take your time. You do seem to like long baths."

Obviously. I'm Japanese!

"Or maybe you'd like me to wash your back, like before?" Darkness had the same look as Megumin.

"What the heck is with you two? I always heard people are more liberal on the road, but think before you speak, okay? What if you say something like that just to tease me, but then I go, 'Yeah, sure, let's…'?"

"That would be fine. I would simply get in the bath with you."

"Yeah, if you had nerves like that, I'd wash your back anytime."

They both responded with taunting looks. Maybe they'd planned this ahead of time.

…Wait, what?

When did Darkness and Megumin get so easy? Was it like, I could just give them a little push and get whatever I wanted?

What should I do? Should I just go for it?

"Let us go, then, Kazuma," Megumin said, coming toward me. She looked totally relaxed. And then I understood.

Her eyes revealed her complete confidence that I was all talk and would never do anything.

4

What was this emotion I was feeling?

Honestly, with invitations like that, how could I not want to enjoy some sexy time with them? You have no idea how much I wanted to.

And yet, I hated to betray the trust implicit in those expectations.

What was with them? What did they take me for?

Megumin was who she was, and I liked her just fine, but even though she could jokingly say she loved me with a straight face, she never had actually, definitively asked me to go out with her.

Darkness was who she was, but even though we had practically crossed the final frontier together, after we got home, any time it looked like we were getting close to it again, she would just back off.

What was it with these people?! Women just don't make any sense to me.

Did this mean I could make a move on them?

I kind of thought so, but if they put me off with a Don't get the wrong idea, I'd never be able to look them in the eye again.

Dammit, why did I have to be such a timid, cowardly man? Did I even have feelings for them at all? I was such a flip-flopper, I didn't even know that.

Actually, since I'd taken advantage of the succubus service, maybe I wouldn't even like it that much.

Even I thought I was pretty low, but standing here fretting about it didn't seem likely to get me anywhere. I'd start with a nice, long soak in the tub so I could think.

I made for the changing room so I didn't actually have to figure out what to do.

There I was, striking a pose in front of the mirror and thinking my leveled-up body actually didn't look too bad, when it happened.

We'd arrived at the inn around midnight, so not the time you would normally expect anyone in the bath. Yet, I heard someone humming happily from the direction of the bathing area.

The voice was really pleasant to listen to, and it also revealed that the singer was a woman. So there was still someone there, even though all my friends knew I was coming to bathe.

Could it be—you know—Megumin or Darkness trying to lay it on even thicker?

Did they really think I was just that cowardly and totally unable to do anything at all?

…Okay, that settled it. I was done fretting. Whoever it was in there, Megumin or Darkness, if she turned that teasing come-hither look on me, I would jump her. Even if she wept and apologized, I figured I would cross that final line.

Intraparty relations? Pfah!

With my mind made up and my conscience surprisingly clear, I suddenly realized how silly it had been to worry about all that stuff in the first place.

None of it had anything to do with me. I was going to live my life the way I wanted.

I kept these revelations to myself, though, as I opened the sliding door with a clatter and— —saw a red-haired older woman in the bathtub.

"…Oh? I wondered who it could be, and here I find out it's someone I remember very well. Do you remember me? We met in a bath in Arcanletia…" She smiled gently as she spoke. My reply was immediate:

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"What are you talking about?!"

Keeping my distance from the quaking woman, I slid slowly into the bath.

"Aww, man, this is a nice hot spring. Come on, don't act so scared. I was just disappointed after I'd worked myself up like that. I was so sure you were one of my party members."

"Is—is that right? I have to say, I think it's only fair to be a little scared of someone who would shout a death threat at a person they'd only just met. I could tell you really were ready to commit murder…" There was still a hint of fear in the woman's golden eyes, eyes that reminded me of a cat.

"I'm telling you—you're safe. And I do remember you, more or less. You're the one I reduced to tears by constantly staring at your chest in Arcanletia, right? Sure I remember you. It was a big chest, after all."

"Uh— Um… Not to be too forceful, but we've only met twice. I think saying something like that right from the start is… Would you call that sexual harassment…?"

"Not buying it. I've made up my mind: I'm going to stop hiding myself. Stop lying to myself. I'm going to live an honest life. No more holding myself back."

"That certainly sounds very noble, but under these particular circumstances, a woman can't help feeling a bit threatened by it…" For some reason, she looked even more concerned than before; she sank into the misty spring water to hide herself.

(Image)

Here I was on my best behavior, yet it seemed like she was downright suspicious of me.

I thought back to the first time this woman and I had met. She'd been in Arcanletia, talking to the Deadly Poison Slime Hans (a known general of the Demon King) about a plan to destroy the city. In other words, she was definitely related to the Demon King's army somehow, and I probably shouldn't have let down my guard… "If I may ask, what brings you here? I seem to recall you said something about being an adventurer. You know it's all big, scary monsters around here? I hate to sound rude, but I can't say you look very strong. Are you sure you'll be all right?"

So she wasn't suspicious of me; she was just genuinely concerned. To my surprise, that threw me off.

Given that I was an adventurer (more or less), I should probably have tried to figure out who or what this woman was. But oddly enough, although I hardly knew her, I liked her.

"No worries," I said. "Yeah, I'm weak, but I've got a Crimson Magic Clan mage with me who's seriously reliable. I've gotta be honest with you—I didn't want to come here myself, but my friend insisted. What about you, miss? Why are you here?"

"Me? …Good question. Let's just say that as a little reward for myself, after working so hard all the time, I decided to have a dip in my beloved hot springs.

And I suppose you could say I'm looking for an important partner of mine, though I don't expect to find them so easily."

It made her sound oddly conscientious.

"Your partner, huh? You mean, like, a lover?"

"Hmm… No, not really a lover. A sidekick, sort of, or perhaps a second me in which power has been sealed away… I have to admit, I'm just about ready to give up, though." There was a hint of a sad smile on the woman's face.

"You're giving up? But why? One of my party members knows all about that sort of ridiculous…I mean, unusual stuff. Why don't we try asking her? She's right here at this inn, even."

"Well… The person you're talking about is a member of the Crimson Magic Clan, isn't she? It's okay—I have nothing to do with the likes of them." She pulled a bit of a face, but she was still smiling.

"Oh yeah? Okay, then… I'm happy to at least be a shoulder for you to cry on, though. Don't hesitate to share your troubles with me, okay?"

I tried to sound casual, but the woman looked kind of amused. "Oh, you'll listen, will you? …Long ago, somewhere in Crimson Magic Village, my friend, or partner, or dark god, whatever you want to call her… Well, this black cat, a sidekick of mine, was sealed away in a tomb there."

This was sounding oddly familiar. A certain pair of red-eyed no-goodniks had told me a similar story recently.

"She must have still been upset when we were both released, because she was completely out of control. I decided to have her sleep for a while longer, but…when I went to check on her, see if the time was right, I found the seal already broken and my sidekick abducted by someone or something."

This couldn't mean what I thought it meant.

"…Pardon what might seem like an impertinent question, ma'am, but this sidekick of yours doesn't by any chance fly and breathe fire, does she?"

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're asking." Her face conveyed sincere and total confusion at my question.

Hang on, she was the one talking about dark gods and seals and stuff, and she was looking at me like that?

I composed myself and said, "Oh, it's nothing. Just that my Crimson Magic friend has been describing the black cat she keeps as a dark god."

The woman's face darkened immediately. "…The black cat your Crimson Magic Clan friend is keeping? Their names may be impossibly strange—you're sure she's been saying 'dark god'?"

Caught off guard by this sudden change, I tried to backpedal. "Er, well, you know… This is the same person who swears she used to be a deity of destruction in her past life. You can't take anything she says seriously."

"O-oh, really? Even so, do be a dear and answer one question for me. This cat… Does she, ahem, have a fondness for lazy people?"

"…I'm not really sure. She seems to like me best out of all of us, but I can't say I see myself as lazy. I did the most work to form our party, and I'm confident I'm the most sensible and grown-up out of all our members."

"R-really… And is she, er, prone to violence?" The woman sounded a tad hesitant for some reason.

"She's such a wimp that our newborn chick can chase her around the room."

"All right, thank you, that's enough. She can't be the partner I'm looking for."

The woman nodded, apparently pretty sure about this, then stood up, bathwater dripping from the towel wrapped around her body. "I think I'll be off, then. This area is a hot zone in the battle with the Demon King's army, you know. And even if it weren't, security around here is so bad that I ran into that rarest of things earlier, a gang of bandits. My advice would be to get back to the capital while you still can." With that, the woman squinted her golden eyes like a happy cat and smiled kindly.

"…You know, ma'am, somehow I feel like I just can't ignore your problem. I don't know why, but I've got the strangest feeling about you. Er, not that I'm trying to pick you up or anything, okay?" I added, realizing that what I was saying sounded weird even to me.

The woman, however, didn't even give me a dirty look, but instead, for some reason, she opened her eyes in surprise.

"Well, now… How serendipitous. I feel a connection to you, too. That's what drives me to give you these little updates each time we meet… Maybe you've met my dear friend someplace and done them some good turn." It sounded like she was making a joke; she laughed lightly as she spoke.

I watched the woman go. I knew she was connected with the Demon King's army somehow, and yet for some reason, I just couldn't see her as a threat… If I ever saw her again, I would have to ask how she'd ended up in the Demon King's… "…Shoot! I forgot to ask her her name!"

5

The next morning.

With a good night's sleep at an actual inn under our belts, we headed off for the fortress in high spirits.

"Kazuma, you seem especially cheery today," Megumin said as we went. "You were in the bath until quite late last night. Did something good happen?"

"Oh, y'know. When I got in there, I just happened to be reunited with the outrageously beautiful woman I met in Arcanletia," I replied just as happily, at which Megumin stopped walking.

"O-oh, you did? Well, good for you. So you did a little mixed bathing, then?"

"Sure did. Man, she was big. Maybe even bigger than Darkness."

Darkness, who had apparently been listening in, exclaimed, "How can you just say something like that?! For that matter, what have you been getting up to the moment we take our eyes off you? …I have to say, though, don't you think it's strange for a woman to be all by herself in the middle of nowhere like this?"

Darkness, her armor still battered from last night's attack, lectured me with an expression that might have been anger or might have been embarrassment;

I couldn't tell.

"Don't worry—she actually gave me a lot of helpful tips. It was the same way in Arcanletia. Yesterday, she said she'd encountered some bandits and warned me to be careful," I said casually.

Yunyun, who'd been listening to the conversation with obvious interest, cocked her head. "Um, and she made it out of that encounter okay? Those were probably the same bandits we ran into, right? I can't imagine they would have been gentle with someone as beautiful as you're describing…" "Oh-ho," Megumin said, dodging Chomusuke as she ran along near her feet.

"You appear so adult, but your true nature reveals itself in your filthy fantasies."

Huh. Actually, Yunyun was right. How had that woman survived a run-in with bandits?

…Well, I guess you don't get to join the Demon King's army for no reason.

Maybe she was secretly way more powerful than she looked or something.

Even when she mentioned the bandits to me, though, I hadn't thought much of it. Normally, I would have been more cautious around a woman who implied she had single-handedly defeated a gang of robbers, but for some reason, I hadn't felt she was too dangerous. Maybe because we'd bathed together twice now?

"What? Isn't that what you would normally expect from bandits?! And anyway, Megumin, you're the one person who has no right to call me filthy!

After you've bathed with Kazuma and been in bed with him…!"

"Hey, it's one thing for me to mention that myself, but hearing someone else say it embarrasses me, so I must ask you to stop!"

As I watched Megumin suffer the brutal turnaround, I thought back to the woman from the night before.

"…Man, she was big."

""?!"" After that, nothing much eventful happened, except for when Aqua, who had been chasing the Gossamers around again, was reduced to tears by an attack from the puffballs' Great Sprite.

About the time it was getting dark, we arrived at our destination, the fortress.

"It's huge…" We found ourselves looking up at a building every bit as big as the royal castle. It was surrounded by massive, impenetrable-looking walls, as befitted a fortress defending the front line. I'd heard that upward of a thousand people lived inside, and it was just as imposing as that number suggested.

"And one general of the Demon King by herself is supposed to be threatening this place? I don't care what rank she is. That can't be possible, can it?"

"I'd like to agree with you, but any one of the Demon King's generals is capable of destroying a city all by themselves. Frankly, the fact we've overcome so many of them is bizarre," Darkness said. Her answer made me think back on the generals we'd encountered.

There was the Dullahan Beldia, who could repel any number of attackers simultaneously with his spectacular swordplay; he boasted the unlimited strength and power of the undead and could even pronounce a curse that doomed its target to die a few days later.

There was the Deadly Poison Slime Hans, who had the power to make himself look human but boasted incredible magic resistance and could kill you at a touch, not to mention vacuum up everything in sight with his gigantic true form.

The chimera Sylvia, who took one monster after another into his body, gaining a whole catalog of powers on his path to indestructibility.

The "Duke of Hell," the demon Vanir, whose very existence seemed to defy the laws of physics and whom we had no idea how to actually kill.

And Wiz, a Lich (read: Queen of the Undead, untouchable with normal weapons, and wielder of a whole bunch of special abilities, including Drain Touch) who knew Advanced Magic, Teleport, and even Explosion.

…Considering their abilities and sheer strength, it was a wonder I had run into even one of them and lived to tell the tale. What to do? I'd expected Explosion and a nice, sturdy fortress to give me some peace of mind, but now I just wanted to go home.

Just as I was starting to feel ridiculously wimpy, the fortress guards spotted us, and a group of knights rode out to meet us.

One of them approached us, obviously cautious about five people appearing at a place like this. "You there, adventurers. This fortress stands to hold the Demon King's army at bay. What is your business here?"

"We heard our nation was in trouble and have come as reinforcements. I think we've got enough advanced classes here to be some help, don't you?"

"Advanced classes… I see. We are grateful for that. However, we'll need to see something that proves your identity. There remains the possibility that you're agents of the Demon King attempting to infiltrate the fortress, so if you would be so kind. Ahem, let's start with…" Megumin held out her Adventurer's Card to the knight, who took it—and froze.

"…M-Miss…Megumin… Is that right?"

"You have some problem with my name?"

"No, ma'am! It's nothing; pardon me. Very well, now you… Miss Yunyun, is it?"

"Y-yes, sir… That's my real name…" "Hey, he's been wanting to say something about our names ever since he saw my card. We shall hear it!"

Megumin raised her staff, incensed at the way the knight was reacting to the girls' names.

"No, it's quite all right—forgive me! Next is…Kazuma Satou. Kazuma…Satou?"

The knight hurried to give Megumin and Yunyun their cards back, but when he got to the next one—mine—he looked disturbed.

Ooh. It was one thing for those bizarre Crimson Magic names to get a rise out of him, but if he was reacting to my name, it had to be a sign that my reputation preceded me. Yes, whatever others might say of us, we'd accumulated quite a record of— "Kazuma Satou! The vile and despicable Kazuma Satou? The villain who gave Lady Iris the worst of ideas and caused no end of trouble for Lady Claire and Lady Lain…!"

"Now, wait just a minute…" Was that how the knights of this country talked about me?

I mean, not that they were wrong, but come on… "I'm very sorry. But, er, this fortress is a crucial choke point defending the front line against the Demon King's army. I'm afraid we simply can't let strangers inside…" "Strangers? You recognized my name."

I'd teach him to treat me like some common criminal.

Just then, a man who had been hanging back came forward. He looked like the squad leader.

"So you're the disgusting piece of human filth Kazuma Satou. How dare a mere Adventurer act so important? Do you realize I could declare you potential threats and have you cut down right here and now? Run along home with your tail between your low-level legs, boy!" He didn't take his hand off his sword as he spoke.

I saw Megumin's grip on her staff tighten, and Darkness stepped forward with wrath on her face. The other knights all went for their weapons.

"What are you playing at, adventurers? You looking for a fight?!"

Geez, why did guys like this always have such short fuses? I couldn't help noticing that in this world, pretty much all the aristocrats other than Darkness had the unfortunate habit of viewing life as cheap and human rights as optional at best.

I took a step forward, looking as grim as I could, and gestured at Darkness, who had been about to say something herself.

"Get back! Do you have any idea whose presence you're in? This is the daughter of the famous House Dustiness, Lady Lalatina Ford Dustiness! Bow your heads, all of you!"

""Wha—?!"" The knights blanched and dropped to their knees.

Darkness looked almost as surprised as they did to hear this come up so suddenly, and Megumin and Yunyun, for some reason, also knelt.

"What are you guys doing?"

"S-sorry," Megumin said. "It was just so sudden, I got a bit swept away…" "M-me, I didn't know Miss Darkness was a noble…" Both of them got to their feet, and the captain asked hesitantly, "A-are you truly the noble Dustiness…? Please accept my most humble apologies, Lady Dustiness. My men and I did not know your face and have committed a grave impropriety…! …Ahem, please don't take this the wrong way—we must do our duty—but perhaps you could furnish us with some proof…" Without a word, Darkness produced the necklace with the family crest that hung around her neck, along with her Adventurer's Card. At the sight of them, the captain's face went from pale to completely white.

"M-m-m-my most humble and sincere apologies! We have been unspeakably rude to you and your companions, Lady Dustiness!"

"It's about time! Whoo, man, here I thought we were just about to get our heads chopped off. I think I'm going to be working through this trauma for the rest of my life. Man, just thinking about that conversation makes my chest tighten…!" I put a hand to my chest and laid it on thick for the captain.

Megumin, picking up on my game, said— "Oh, this will never do! Gracious, what an attitude you've taken with the companion of our young Miss Lalatina!" She nudged her staff against the captain's cheek to work off some of her anger about earlier.

"Apologize! Say you're sorry for almost attacking us! Come on, say it!"

Megumin was grinding her staff into his cheek, and Aqua was shaking him by the shoulders, but the captain just closed his eyes and didn't fight them. His temples were twitching, though. Instead, he bowed his head to Darkness, who was quivering and blushing.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry. In any other circumstances, I would end my own life for having dared to threaten the companions of Lady Dustiness. But in this case…I must…" He couldn't quite seem to finish the sentence. I placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Aw, look, I'm not asking anybody to kill themselves. I know you were just doing your job. But we're awfully tired from our journey, all right? I don't need you to go nuts proving your loyalty; just prepare a room for us to stay in, all right?"

"But of course! It will be ready for you immediately! A room befitting Lady Dustiness and her companions!"

The captain managed to nod despite the staff in his cheek, and Darkness gave him a mortified nod in return.