1
Other nations referred to this one as Elroad, the Casino Kingdom.
Arriving in the capital, we were flabbergasted by the crowds and the noise.
"Hey, Kazuma, Axel hardly gets this many people for a festival! Where have they all come from?"
We were traveling down a big, wide street, so our carriage was limited to the speed of the people around us. Aqua was eagerly observing those people from the driver's bench, looking this way and that and snickering at everyone going by.
"Aqua," I said, "this is supposed to be a secret trip, remember? So don't go drawing attention to yourself. Don't forget why we're here."
Aqua pretty much ignored my attempt to rein her in; she was more interested in the open-air establishments we were passing.
It wasn't like I couldn't sympathize. It was as crowded as Shibuya Scramble Crossing in Japan. And this world's population was a lot smaller than Earth's. So to have this many people in one place meant… "This must be a disinformation plot, an attempt to make people think this capital is thriving. Look, you see that guy who just went around the corner? I guarantee he'll go around the block and come straight back. They're all plants.
Everyone here has been hired to mill around."
(Image)
"I knew you were a sharp one, Kazuma. I thought something was strange, too.
After all, if this was all real, it would make our home base in Axel look like a cow town."
Darkness blushed slightly as she heard Aqua and me chatting with each other.
"Both of you, stop your ridiculous jabbering and act grown-up. I couldn't stand anyone thinking we were country bumpkins."
Which was exactly how she was treating us, but what were you gonna do?
The shops and stalls along the street were crammed with foods I had never seen before, the shopkeepers hawking their wares at the top of their lungs.
The lizard-drawn carriage pulled to a stop in front of a larger building along the same street. Someone must have made reservations for us in advance.
"All right, this is our inn," Darkness said. "Everyone, go drop off your traveling stuff. Lady Iris's meeting with the prince is scheduled for tomorrow. Today we can rest up and take in the sights."
Someone from the inn came out and took the carriage off our hands.
We were mostly on cloud nine, but Iris shook her head. "I have to get ready for the conference tomorrow… And I have to admit, I'm a little bit nervous, meeting this prince for the first time. I'm going to rest here and try to prepare myself. You all have fun." Then she grabbed her luggage.
"Lady Iris, were you not looking forward to this excursion? We're your bodyguards; we can't leave you alone at—" "Y-you have to! Get some rest. We came all this way to the Casino Kingdom. I couldn't relax if I knew you were stuck at the inn with me!"
Knowing how sensitive Iris was to the feelings of those around her, I knew she probably really would be driven to distraction by us staying with her.
"Come on, Darkness—you heard the lady. Let's go stretch our wings."
"Ugh… O-okay, fine…" She still didn't sound completely convinced, but she nodded anyway, seeming a little overwhelmed by Iris, whose smile looked like it concealed a very powerful resolve.
We set down our bags in our rooms.
"Casino! Let's hit the casino! Then, after we win big, we can use the money to take a food tour! I'll bet you can get some really good wine around here!"
"No, let us go to the local equipment shop! I'm sure I will be able to find an exceptionally powerful staff suitable for myself!"
We went right back out into town.
"Hrm, I'm still not entirely comfortable leaving Lady Iris behind like this…" Darkness was the only member of our party who wasn't completely on board.
Iris seemed really stressed about this meeting she was supposed to have.
Maybe she was doing a sort of simulation by herself rather than going out and playing. I was concerned that trying to be too considerate would backfire. I would bring her a nice souvenir instead.
But even so… "You guys need to think things through. We came all this way, so let's start with the famous tourist destinations. Even Crimson Magic Village had a few, so a place like this must—" —have some cool stuff.
Is what I was about to say, but just then… "Ooh? Lookit that lovely adventurer. Hey, you blond-haired beauty, how about you ditch the wimp and come hang out with some real men?"
"Yowza, what a bunch of hotties! I'm all about that blue-haired lady!"
"The chick with black hair and red eyes is doin' it for me…" We passed by a few guys being extra sleazy. They each looked a year or two older than me. They were wearing the sort of gaudy outfits guys wear when they're clearly peacocking, and they were leering openly at us. They were all thin and gangly; they looked like rich cream puffs who had come to the city for a little fun.
As for my companions, whom the three guys had been catcalling… """…?""" Each of them looked around in confusion for someone who fit the descriptions the guys had offered.
…Eventually, it seemed to dawn on them that they were the only ones there who fit the profiles.
"""…?!""" My friends stood rooted to the spot. Darkness immediately reached behind her head and started playing with her hair, while Megumin began assiduously dusting off her robe.
Aqua spoke up. "You guys, did you just call us beautiful? Did you say we were gorgeous? Say it again!"
...… Nobody in Axel was crazy enough to try to chat up these women. I guess I should've probably complimented them on their appearance every once in a while. I was amazed that they were so amazed.
"Huh? …Er, we said you were real pretty, and…maybe you'd like to check out the town with us… You know…" One of the guys spoke on behalf of his crew, all of whom seemed taken aback by Aqua's reaction.
Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness immediately huddled together and started whispering. After a moment, Megumin stepped up as their representative.
"What the three of you are saying, then, is that for the privilege of going out with a staggering beauty like myself and these two other relatively beautiful women, you are prepared to sacrifice coin and life alike, yes? And so won't we date you? That's what you're saying, is it not?"
"""We wouldn't go that far,""" the three men said.
...!
That was when I had a thought.
Unfortunately… This country ran on two things: commerce and casinos.
We were eager to see the sights, spread our wings a little.
So what if we joined forces with these three nutjobs?
Think, Kazuma Satou, think!
There was no way these girls wouldn't cause some kind of trouble. And the blame, I was sure, would fall on me. But what if, when the trouble happened, I wasn't there and these three guys were?
...… "Yo… Think we picked some weird ladies?"
"Yeah… Don't you smell trouble? I know we came here for sightseeing, but I think we might be in over our heads."
"Y-yeah, but even if they are a little weird, they're so hot!"
As the guys held a whispered conference, Aqua and the others came over to me just as I was really getting into my idea. The stupid grins on the girls' faces kind of annoyed me.
"Say, Kazuma, what do you think we should do? I don't knooow, ooh… They called us beautiful. They said they want to go ouuuut with us. You're probably used to being called a loser by now, Kazuma, considering the party you're in.
But I hope you understand how grateful you should be to have been able to team up with three breathtaking beauties. Otherwise, we might just drop you like a hot potato and go out with those other guys."
"Please, be my guest."
""""""Huh?"""""" The girls weren't the only ones shocked by my reply. The three guys joined the chorus.
"…Ummm, hey, Kazuma? Did you just say…?" Aqua sounded a little anxious.
I knew these girls were all high-level adventurers. I didn't think they would have any trouble with a few random dudes off the street. Besides, it wasn't up to me to tell them who they could and couldn't go out with.
Now completely convinced that my idea to foist off the girls on these guys was a good one, I answered, "I said, be my guest. What am I, your mom? I want the chance to have some fun, not spend all my time babysitting you. No harm in this kind of arrangement from time to time."
"""Huh?!""" That really set Aqua and the others back on their heels.
"…Hey, did you hear that guy say something about babysitting them?" one of the men whispered to his friends.
Megumin, starting to look a little desperate, said, "Hold on, Kazuma—this is too sudden! Are you sure about this? Letting me… Letting all of us go play with these boys? Aren't you, you know, jealous, or envious, or—?"
"Not even a little bit."
"You heard him! He said it!"
Megumin seemed really shocked about something, but look. I know we'd been a little bit sweet on each other lately, but it wasn't like we were dating or anything. Though, I guess I wasn't one to talk, given how much I had been going on about Iris recently.
Darkness patted the frozen Megumin on the shoulder. "Hold it, Megumin. We know this guy isn't a straight shooter, right? Heh—he's the classic tsundere type!" Then she grinned in my direction like she expected to get a rise out of me. "How about it, Kazuma? Think you can bring yourself to be honest at a moment like this? You're waltzing around town with a bunch of girls so pretty, they get catcalled by random guys on the street. Want to walk arm in arm with me? Maybe I'll trip and my ch-chest will bump into you…" "Hard pass. I mean, you're ripped. I'll bet your chest is as hard as everything else on you."
"Whaaat?!"
With Darkness standing there totally surprised, the boys started whispering again.
"Geez, what do you make of this guy? He kinda sucks, doesn't he? And I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Yeah, let's back off. We came all the way here to enjoy some sightseeing. We wouldn't want to get caught up in anything weird…" "N-no kidding, no need to put your head in the lion's… Er, so I guess we're giving up…? Man, such hotties, though; total shame… Uh, hey! We just remembered, we've got some stuff to do…" The guys tried to run away, but I grabbed them. "Didn't you want to date my friends?"
One of them flinched and tried to push my hand away… …but he couldn't.
"Huh? Ah… Ow, ow-ow-ow…! Sorry! We were just kidding—we're sorry for chatting up your girls! W-we didn't mean any of that 'loser' stuff! We've gotta go now!"
I was an adventurer of a pretty fair level myself. My stats were good enough that I wasn't going to lose a contest of strength to some random street-corner slobs.
"Aw, no, it's fine, for real. My friends here really are good-looking, aren't they? Believe me: I know."
"Uh…huh…" They looked at me as if they found me suspicious somehow, unable to hide their anxiety. I dropped my voice and whispered to them, "See that blond armored chick there? You oughta see her without the armor. Hoo-wee! Those hips!"
The guys swallowed audibly at that. I continued to press my point. "And the lady with blue hair, she loves her some wine. You wanna get in good with her, just say you'll buy her a drink."
The guys looked at one another.
"And the black-haired one… You know the type. Has a cat, loves cute things.
Take her somewhere with some nice, cuddly animals; that's my advice."
The guys nodded.
"""Well, okay, if you insist…""" I stepped away from the newly amenable guys and waved to Aqua and the others.
"Okay, kids, see you later. Have fun spreading your wings today. You can pay me back by not causing trouble for me, starting tomorrow. As for today, knock yourselves out."
"""Huh?""" That gave the three guys pause.
Aqua sized them up and said, "Are you ready? I don't have much change on me, so this isn't gonna be cheap. The lovely Aqua only drinks the finest alcohol."
One of the three guys pounded himself on the chest. "D-don't you worry!
Money is one thing we've got. Our parents are upper-class, see? We'll cover anything and everything you want to do here in town!"
Bam. There it was.
Now that I had heard, with my own ears, the one thing I really needed to hear, I said, "Awesome, have fun, everyone. I'm gonna go spread my wings someplace else. You guys, I'm trusting you. Don't go running out on my friends and ducking your responsibilities, okay?"
Then I turned around… "Y-you really never stop surprising me… Somehow I can't abide the way you don't seem to be faking but actually seem to mean what you're saying… It's a bluff, right? Is this all just a bluff? …You men there, I'm warning you. Don't get any weird ideas about us. Otherwise you never know what the man known as the Devil of Axel Town might do to you."
"""Huh?""" I heard Darkness spouting rude nonsense behind me.
"She's right. You see how casually he walks away from his vulnerable, beautiful friends. Surely you can surmise what kind of person he is. If you don't shower us with hospitality, you'll see later just how bad he can be. He may not look like much, but he's broken into a heavily guarded noble household before and can snipe a person from a great distance. If you make an enemy of him, he'll hunt you every moment of every day."
"""!""" Hey, stop that.
"Come on, you two; don't be so mean! Kazuma isn't that much of a devil.
True, he did blow up that governor's house and get charged with sedition, and he did cause enough trouble to get himself banned from the capital, but…" C'mon, Aqua—try a little harder. I don't think your argument is making sense to them!
"""...…""" Now the three guys had gone completely quiet as they turned tremblingly toward me… "…You know, I think we've changed our minds. We'd rather not get inv— Aaahhh! He ran away?!"
One of the guys had been trying to say something.
"""He left! That guy actually went and left!""" Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin were shouting something, but I didn't quite hear them. I was too busy disappearing into the streets of Elroad!
2
This was the first foreign country I had visited since coming to this world, and the city was so big, it made me realize that every other place I had visited had been a small town.
And right there, in the middle of Elroad's capital… "I win again!"
"No waaaaaaaay!"
""""""""Oooooooooohhh!"""""""" I had jumped into a card game tournament and was cleaning up.
"Who the hell is this guy?"
"I've never seen him before, but someone has to know a guy this good!"
I could hear the audience murmuring, keeping a respectful distance from my hot streak and me.
"He comes on hard and fast… Doesn't it kind of remind you of what they say about Dark Katrina?"
"You mean the legendary—?! Wait, I heard Dark Katrina is a woman…" Dark Katrina? Who was that?
"Hold on—look at the way he uses his trap card. Remember Wily Claude?"
"You might be right. Claude's the only one I know who's so nasty with his trap cards…" And now some Claude guy?
In this world, famous adventurers often acquired a second name. Maybe the same thing happened with famous card sharks. Back in my world, I had been called all sorts of names by the friends I played MMOs with. All-Luck Kazuma, Kill-Steal Kazuma… Okay, so none of them was a good name, but still.
…When I came out of my reverie, I found a woman standing before me.
"You're my next victim? Ooh, haven't seen you around before. Looks like you get a lot of good hands, but it takes more than luck to win at this game. Strategy conquers all. You might beat some intermediates with good draws, but it won't help you against a twin-name like me."
I refrained from asking whether her second name was an embarrassing one.
Because for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely excited about a game.
"Your winning streak ends here," the girl went on. "With me, Iron Wall Marineth."
Iron Wall Marineth.
The girl, who was obviously older than I was, proclaimed the name without shame, then grinned and drew her cards—!
Everything in town had been new and interesting to me, but my wanderings eventually brought me to this building that occasionally shook with cheers, and I went in to have a look. I observed from the audience for a little while, but when I noticed the card game they were playing bore a lot of similarities to a very famous game I was pretty good at, I jumped right in.
I assumed this game was the work of one of the various Japanese people who had been sent to this world. Knowing it as well as I did (any gamer would have), I bought a standard pack of basic cards and then a premium pack full of sweet rares—the sort of thing that's a fringe benefit of having a ton of money.
Then I built a deck so devilishly powerful, it had been banned in Japan.
"My turn! My turn again! And again and again and again, forever!!"
"He's a monster! I've never seen such brutal combos!"
"There's overkill, and then there's overkill! Just stop already—the game is over!"
"Look, he made Iron Wall Marineth cry. Somebody stop him!"
The shouting from the audience gave me my first gamely satisfaction in a long time.
"Please end it already. I'm sorry for mouthing off to you." My opponent, the young woman, was in tears; the game was over and she hadn't been able to do a single thing.
"Good game. Let's play again sometime."
"Absolutely not. I can't take any more of this."
I reached out for the traditional post-game shake but felt my palm fill with the gentle weight of my winnings.
That's right: This was Elroad, the Casino Kingdom. There wasn't a game around without betting on it.
Fresh off my crushing victory over Marineth, I shouted to the audience:
"I'll take on all challengers!"
A few hours passed. I had kept on winning for a while before leaving the building in high spirits, in search of my next destination. I didn't have anywhere in mind; I was just enjoying exploring an unfamiliar town.
My bulging purse put me in a good mood, but that was when I realized my stomach was growling, so I ducked into a random place… "Eeeek! Someone, come quick! There's someone who looks like a mummy in the sand bath! Is there anyone here who can use healing magic?!"
I had lunch at a pasta place I found.
"Welcome, welcome, are you by yourself, sir? Have a seat at the counter, please!"
The waitress showed me to the counter and I ordered something at random.
While I waited for my food, I took a look around the restaurant, and that was when I overheard some men one table over… "Aw, man, I made soooo much money today! A toast to Elroad!"
"You got that right. The economy here's so hot, you make money hand over fist no matter what you do. When I heard His Majesty the king was taking an extended trip to another country, I was worried. But that whelp of his sure knows how to run a country!"
"Yeah, and to think we spent all that time calling him Prince Stupid!"
Hmm…?
I'd been told this country was in dire financial straits, so what was this about a red-hot economy? And the "Prince Stupid" thing bothered me, too.
"Maybe, but I hear the good times are all thanks to the prime minister running the government. The idiot prince might have absolute political authority, but I'm told he'd rather play around than rule this place."
"In that case, forget Elroad. A toast to our prime minister!"
"""Yeah, to our great prime minister! Cheers!""" …This was getting stranger and stranger. So it was the prime minister running the show around here? Did that mean he was the one who had cut off the support to Belzerg? And apparently, the king wasn't even home right now. I was told the prince was about Iris's age. Was it normal in this world for kids that young to take on major political responsibilities? Back when I was Iris's age, I was busy being scolded by my parents for staying up all night playing games… I put the shop behind me and then, thinking of Iris by herself at our inn, decided to buy her a souvenir. The only thing was, I had no idea what sort of gift would make her happy. I had an inkling that she would act pleased no matter what I got, but it just didn't feel right to get the princess of your nation something too cheap… "Hey, I heard this awesome entertainer is doing an appearance at Machelin!"
"Machelin? You mean the unbelievably fancy department store? Do they even let entertainers in there?"
"Who cares? Let's check it out! I hear she uses all their expensive merchandise for her tricks!"
Such was the conversation a couple of guys were having as they emerged from a certain small store. I glanced at the sign and saw that the place sold accessories, so I went in to see if there might be anything suitable for a souvenir there.
"'ello," the clerk said without much enthusiasm. He sat behind the counter reading the paper—never even looked up at me.
There was a lot of stuff in there, from handmade girls' necklaces to big bracelets that were probably aimed at men. I glanced over at the counter and saw a glass case holding stuff that looked like it was a cut above the rest of the baubles in the store. Maybe there would be something good in there. I was just searching for something that would look nice on Iris when… "Wh-whoa! Wh-what's that, an earthquake?!" the clerk exclaimed, accompanied by an intense rattling of the entire establishment. I could hear the sound of an explosion far in the distance, and I felt that I didn't have to think too hard about its origin.
Back when I had snuck into the castle, I had stolen Iris's ring. I still had it, and treasured it for sure, but it would be a little awkward to return it now.
A new ring! That would be perfect!
It was a little ironic, considering I was the one who had stolen the first one, but I was uncomfortable just leaving the poor girl ringless. This would let me return the ring, in a way, even if it was a different one.
And so it was decided. I would get Iris a ring as a souvenir!
I went over to the glass case, hoping to buy the most expensive ring they had, but when I looked inside, I didn't see a single ring.
"Hey, man, don't you sell rings? Expensive ones, ideally?"
"Rings? We don't handle anything that fancy. The only rings we have are the kids' toys over there." The clerk, who had jumped to his feet in surprise at the shaking, pointed to a corner of the store. All that was over there were cheap trinkets for a few hundred eris apiece. Maybe not the sort of thing you should be giving a princess.
Then again, I'd just gotten to this town and had no idea where to get fancy accessories, so what was a man to do?
Wait… That was it.
I would buy one of these, and if I didn't find anything better, then I would give it to Iris.
"Gimme this ring, mister!"
I dropped my new purchase in my pouch and set out again…
3
"Ah, so you're back. And how was your sightseeing?"
It was evening.
The setting was the same place we'd split up that morning.
When I got there, my friends were already waiting for me. Aqua was looking pointedly away from me, while Darkness was blushing contentedly. And as for Megumin, she was getting a piggyback ride from Darkness and looking rather gratified.
As for the three guys who were supposed to be the ladies' escorts… Well, one was missing. And of the two who were left, one was just sitting there, looking shell-shocked, while the other hugged his knees and shook and mumbled to himself like a textbook trauma patient.
I think I'd be better off not asking… Megumin took one look at me and seemed to immediately know what I was feeling. "Kazuma, I doubt you want to know, but would you hear us out?"
"…Sure."
I've got no choice… I casually let my gaze slide over to Darkness, who seemed to be in a great mood.
"…Ahem. Let's begin with the one who isn't here. When he heard we had only just arrived, he suggested we start our day by going to a fancy spa to relieve the stress of travel."
Oh-ho.
Darkness picked up the story: "Wouldn't you know it, when we arrived, it turned out this spa had sand baths, and you know how much I love sand baths.
They're a wonderful form of relaxation where you put on an outfit called a yukata and lie back and they cover you with warm sand… But that man… I don't know what he was thinking, but he was right behind me. Then he said, 'All riiight, I'm gonna impress sweet li'l Darkness by showing her how long I can stay in this bath!' And I couldn't resist rising to the challenge…" "Before we knew it," Megumin said, "the young man had passed out. When the staff noticed, they rushed him to the hospital."
…So that was one down.
Next, I looked at the shaking, muttering guy. Megumin glanced uncomfortably to one side. "…Er, about him. He said he would show us his special place. That place turned out to be a river some ways out of town… And, er, then he says, 'Have a look. It's a famous local tourist spot: the Duxion farm. Aren't they cute?' he says, and shows us a whole flock of Duxions. Well, you know how high in XP Duxions are. They were all bunched up! What could I possibly do but take them all out with an explosion? …It seems the shock was too much for him…" He'd been eager to show them a whole flock of Duxions, just to see the lot of them blown to bits before his eyes. I shifted my gaze from the shaking guy to Aqua, who was trying to look as if she had nothing to do with any of this.
…She wasn't doing a very convincing job.
"And, ahem, as for Aqua…" Megumin didn't quite seem to want to say it.
At her words, the paralyzed guy suddenly jumped to his feet. "This lady drinks all the wine at the most expensive place in town, gets totally wasted, and then she goes, 'I'll show you all my amazing tricks!' and starts doing party tricks using the nicest stuff in the store. And I mean, they were awesome tricks. Just killer.
But there's got to be a catch! I mean, if you put a handkerchief over a grand piano and make it disappear, it's got to go somewhere, right?! A handkerchief can't even cover a grand piano!"
So she'd been up to her old tricks again, literally and figuratively. They sounded really interesting, though. I would have to have her show me sometime.
"Then I got the bill for the piano and all the other stuff she used in her little show… And then the one for all the Duxions on the farm… I've been begging these people to pay for something, even half, but… Ahhh! No, wait, my parents are gonna kill me! Please… Just a third…!"
I put my fingers in my ears and started running in the other direction.
4
"How did you like Elroad? Were you able to spread your wings a bit?" Iris asked when we got back to the inn.
"I've started building my own legend in this town," I said. "And incidentally, these girls are sort of legendary in their own special ways now."
Iris gave me a quizzical look. I guess she didn't get it, but a look at the faces of Darkness and the others told her she was better off not asking.
That same Darkness said, "Well then, Lady Iris, as I'm sure you're much fatigued from all your preparations today, let me suggest you go to bed early so you're ready for tomorrow. I've instructed the servants to bring your food to your room so you can just relax. Please have a pleasant rest and get your strength up."
When had she gotten so polite?
"I think it's still rather early… Er, not that I don't agree that I have to be ready for tomorrow's proceedings." She still looked a little puzzled.
Darkness put on a somewhat theatrical expression of remorse and said, "Lady Iris, you have an immensely important meeting tomorrow. Today of all days, you must not stay up late. You'll need as much rest as you can get so that you will be all the more radiant tomorrow."
"…I see. Okay, I'll go to bed early tonight." She glanced at me but headed to her room.
Darkness immediately clapped her hands. "Excellent! Now, what say we all turn in as well? Big day tomorrow. I know it's a little early, but bodyguards have to rest when they get the chance!"
It was a little strange, but we were tired enough from our trip that at Darkness's urging, we retired to our rooms without giving it much thought… I know what's going on here.
This was that thing Darkness had been talking about with Lain: the plan to put me to sleep for a few days. I'd known Darkness long enough that I could see through this little plot of hers.
I went to my room all right, but I sure didn't go to sleep. I was watching. Who knew what she would try to pull? Who knew how she would try to get me to drink her elixir?
The most direct route would be to kick down the door, overpower me, and try to force it down my throat. But there was always a chance I would fight back. I had thought she might try to spike my drink at dinner, but then we all went out to eat. If she was going to make her move, it had to be tonight, but what would it be…?
It happened as I was sitting there trying to read Darkness's mind.
"Kazuma, are you awake?"
There she was, knocking at my door.
It was just past eight o'clock, and even for a world where people tended to go to bed and get up early, it was hardly time to be asleep.
"Sure I am. It's not locked—come on in."
Man, what did she take me for? Did she think I would just roll over and let her give me a sleeping potion? I didn't know what she had in mind, but I would start by taking the initiative and teasing the crap out of— …At that instant, everything that had been in my mind vanished.
"Oh, uh, okay. I'm coming in, then. I just want to talk a little."
All because of the unbelievably revealing negligee Darkness was wearing.
Darkness came in and set an oversize bottle of alcohol down on the table in the middle of the room.
Looked like I was the one who'd underestimated my opponent. Now I realized: I was dealing with a noble, and they specialized in tricks and ploys. I couldn't believe I had found myself in a honey trap.
(Image)
"G-g-geez, why are you dressed like that? I can see your, y'know, figure."
"?!"
My interjection sent a flush of embarrassment onto Darkness's cheeks. Good.
At least that meant she didn't have it in her to really play the seduction game.
"Oh yeah? This is what I always wear, you know? Besides, people loosen up on the road. But more importantly, um, wanna have a drink?"
She popped the cork on the bottle, managing to keep a straight face despite my barb. There was a neat little pop! indicating that the bottle had been sealed until this moment. That meant this couldn't be the spiked drink.
"Fair enough. I guess it is pretty early for bed. I hear a nightcap is good for the health. Don't mind if I do." I took a glass, into which Darkness was about to pour some wine. "Whoa, danger, danger!"
I dropped the glass straight on the floor. It shattered audibly, the pieces scattering everywhere. Darkness paled, but I stuck my hand out toward the pieces. "Wind Breath!" My wind magic swept the glass into one corner of the room. "Phew, sorry, Darkness—my hand slipped… Aw, now there's only one glass. I'll get another one from downstairs. We can ask a maid to clean up the broken glass tomorrow."
I made to leave the room… "W-wait, Kazuma. Look, we, uh, we need just one glass, right? I only ever meant to pour for you. You work so hard all day, I wanted to take care of you for once!"
She had a grip on the hem of my shirt.
For a noble who should have specialized in tricks and plots, she sure was a terrible liar.
"Oh? And how exactly did you want to take care of me? Do I look that tired to you? Me, the guy who sleeps all day?"
"No, I—?! I mean… Uh, we just beat another general of the Demon King the other day! I know we've done that a lot, but it's hard work, isn't it?" Darkness was flustered, trying to come up with some kind of excuse, but she composed herself and looked seriously into my eyes. "I was just thinking, it's all because you brought us together as our party leader. I know we do nothing but cause trouble for you, Kazuma, but I wanted to thank you…" With that, she gave me a really genuine smile, with no hint of anything behind it. Ah, so that was how nobles operated. They mixed a little truth into their lies.
But I wasn't that naive. I almost caved for a second there, but I'm a serious guy who's careful to doubt everyone he meets.
I gently took Darkness's hand—the one that wasn't holding the bottle of wine.
"I should be thanking you. I'm a mere Adventurer, the weakest class. Without you guys, I couldn't do anything at all. You especially, Darkness. If we didn't have you, this party would've been destroyed a dozen times over. I'm the one who should be taking care of you. Here, hand me that bottle. Let me pour for you."
"Wha—?" As I took the hand holding the bottle, Darkness made a sound like she knew I'd seen through her. But when she registered that I was trying to take the drink from her, she said, "N-no, no-no-no. It's okay, Kazuma—your kind words are all I need. And I came here to take care of you tonight. It would be pathetic if I let you do all the work. Here, just let go of that bottle and pick up your glass. I'll get you a drink in no time."
Her voice was calm, but she was struggling to keep me from getting the wine.
Judging by her reaction, it was clear now that the drug was already in the glasses.
"Uh-uh, no way. I can't have a distinguished noble like you pouring wine for me. You've got to rest sometimes, young lady, or otherwise— We're going to the castle as bodyguards tomorrow, right? You'll make some awful mistake; I'm sure of it. I can hardly go around acting all informal with you in public!"
Resisting me even more firmly, Darkness finally showed her hand. "Oh, come on—let go! You've never spared one ounce of concern for my well-being. Don't act all deferential now! Hell, you called me 'useless' just on the way here!
Practically every day, you say I'm a worthless woman who can't come through when it counts, but I'll have you know that Crusaders focus on defense, so of course we don't do anything flashy!"
"You let go! I know you didn't have any intention of 'taking care' of me at all tonight, but if you insist on pretending, then I'd be a lot happier with your body than with some wine! There's something funny in this glass; I just know it! If there isn't, then drink from it yourself!"
Neither of us would give in, and it descended into a childish argument.
"Hrk, there's nothing f-funny in there! I swear there isn't, but I'm not going to drink from it. This wine is my special gift to you! I see, so you want my body more than some wine, eh? Fine, if you're so sure, then it's all yours! Get on the bed!"
"Ooh, lashing out at me just so you don't have to admit you were trying to drug me. Real nice! Fine, if you're so sure, then I'll let you take care of me!"
Darkness and I, now that we'd both thrown down the gauntlet, and in a state of high tension, moved over to the bed. I knew that for all her filthy talk, this broad always chickened out when it came down to it. I tore off my shirt and lay spread-eagle on the bed.
"Well, c'mon!"
"D-damn you!"
Darkness looked away, unsure what to do with her eyes now that I was lying there shirtless.
"Ooh, what's the matter? I knew you were all talk, 'young lady'! I figured as much. You always call me incompetent and lazy and whatever else, but you're the one who gets all embarrassed with one little kiss on the cheek!"
"Now you're in for it! Do you think I'm going to just sit here and let some commoner treat me like this? I always make good on my promises, so here comes your TLC!"
Almost before she was done talking, Darkness charged at me. But then she didn't seem to know what to do with me lying there.
"Hey, you better not tell me that you had some dumb massage in mind or something! You know what I'm talking about—you and that filthy mind!"
"D-don't you say I have a filthy mind! I'm Lalatina Ford Dustiness. Whatever disadvantage I may be at, I will never run aw—!"
Bam! The door flew open. Megumin was standing there, her eyes flaring red.
"You two have been screaming and shouting for ages now; people are trying to sleep! What in the world are you doing in here?!"
I looked to Megumin for help from my prone position, hoping she would think Darkness had shoved me over. "Help me, Megumin! She's trying to jump me!"
"D-damn you—!"
5
"I can't fathom what you are thinking, Darkness. I will not say you should abandon all desire, but Iris is staying with us here, remember? At least save these antics for after we get home."
"No, Megumin, it's not like that! I can explain!"
After Megumin came bursting into our room, I had tattled on Darkness to save myself.
"What do you mean, 'it's not like that'? You tried to drug me. There's a sleeping potion or something in that glass, right? No? Then take a sip of that wine out of the glass you brought. I know you must have been planning to have your way with me after you drugged me to sleep. You've got a record."
"N-n-n-n-no, I wasn't going to—! I swear there's a good reason…" With the incontrovertible evidence sitting right there, Darkness was going to have trouble getting out of this one. And there was one more bit of proof.
"How can you keep saying that when you're dressed in such a lewd outfit?
You're one light breeze away from a wardrobe malfunction! So nothing you say will convince me! Come on—own up!"
That's right. The unusually salacious negligee she was wearing had come back to haunt her. Megumin wasn't the only one who wanted to know what she had been thinking to dress like that; I wanted to find out, too.
"This dress! …Ugh… I—I was planning to drug Kazuma to sleep so he couldn't do anything unpleasant during tomorrow's meeting, but I ended up feeling a little bad making him miss out on a country full of entertainment…" "I see, and so you dressed like that so he could at least enjoy himself a bit before he blacked out. And no doubt you were hoping a little something might come of it, as well…! Argh, what a reprehensible noblewoman you are!"
Megumin had drawn her line in the sand, and Darkness finally looked resigned. "No, I…! Oh… Urgh… I won't deny it anymore. I am a terrible noble…" "You truly are. If your dear father back in Axel heard you were up to such doings, what would he say? Hff, hff… Come now—speak clearly!"
Megumin was really laying into Darkness. Sometimes I wondered if she actually had a bit of a bully streak… Still lacking my shirt, I sat cross-legged in front of Darkness and savored the moment as she was forced to sit formally on the bed. "Gosh, I can't believe you.
I'm not so stupid that I would do anything that isn't for Iris's benefit, okay? I'm not going to suddenly attack her fiancé or whatever, so relax. I just hate to see someone married off when they don't want to be. When you were about to be forced into tying the knot with that lord, I rescued you, right?"
"...…" Maybe Darkness was thinking about the time I had come to help her, because her ears flushed a little.
"If this is really what Iris wants, then I have no intention of getting in the way.
What I don't want is for someone to force themselves into a match they aren't interested in, just to sacrifice themselves. Especially not when it's someone I know. It kind of bugs me to see a female friend of mine go to another guy, even if she isn't someone I want to date or whatever."
"That's quite a pronouncement, coming from the man who abandoned us to three strangers this very afternoon."
"She's right. I'd love to see what's going on in that dense head of yours."
"That was because I trusted you. You girls aren't so easy that you'd go running off with some random guys who picked you up on the street, are you?"
The faces of Megumin and Darkness flashed with conflicted emotions, and they looked at each other uncomfortably.
"This man can be quite beyond the pale at times. What a thing to say, when he does whatever he feels like."
"Absolutely. For someone who looks like he'd run off with any pretty thing on two legs, he's got a lot of nerve…" Geez, sounds like they don't trust me at all.
Though to be fair, while I was off on my own that afternoon, I did check to see if there were any good, shady shops like a branch of the succubus-service palace.
Darkness got to her feet with a touch of exasperation. "Fine. I won't say another word. I guess I don't really have the right, seeing as I've turned down matches myself so often. If anything happens, I'll take responsibility, so you do whatever you want. My house and I will back you up."
"I like the sound of that. Hey, that lady Claire said the same thing. With two big noble houses behind me, I can cut loose a little."
When I showed her the signet pendant, Darkness exclaimed in surprise, "Lady Claire entrusted something like that to someone like you?! Do you even know what that is?!"
"No clue, but judging by your reaction, at least I can guess that white-suited lady trusts me more than you do."
Maybe Darkness was chagrined to hear that, considering she had known me so much longer than Claire had, because she took a similar pendant from around her neck… "Kazuma, because I do trust you, I'm g…ugh, uuugh…g-giving you this…" "Aw, what? If you're gonna give it to me, then skip the drama and hand it over! C'mon—leggo!" She didn't actually hold the pendant out to me, so I pried it from her hand and put it around my own neck. "Anyway, leave tomorrow to me. The main thing is to keep these goons happy enough that the defense money continues to flow, right? I won't mess that up. You know I wouldn't do anything to make Iris unhappy, don't you?"
"I see… Yes, of course. I understand. I'll let you handle everything. Take care of Lady Iris for us! And if everything goes smoothly…" Darkness looked at me with genuine relief. "This time, I won't just give you some kiddie kiss on the cheek. I'll make sure it's more adult…" She trailed off so much at the end that I could barely hear her, but thanks to my lip-reading ability, I knew exactly what she had said.
And believe me, I would hold her to it.
6
"Hoo-wee. That is one expensive-looking building. Darkness, I think their capital has our capital beat, at least on economy and castle size."
The next morning.
When we arrived at Elroad's castle, we were floored by how large and elaborate it was.
"I shall not stand for this. I wonder how it would hold up if hit with explosion magic. The mere thought makes me want to recite my incantation."
"…Right, Megumin, we'll take things from here, so you just head back to the inn." Darkness was quick to rein in the jabbering Megumin.
"Hey, hey, imagine how surprised everyone would be if I showed off my trick.
I could change the symbol on that flag up at the tippy top there to an Axis Church one."
"Aqua, Aqua. Listen, when we get back to Axel, I'll have the Dustiness family make a big donation to the Axis Church if you just behave yourself today."
Darkness looked like she might burst into tears trying to restrain Aqua, who was gazing up at the top of the castle.
Sheesh. Every member of this party was a problem child, and she had focused all her attention on me. "All riiiight, time to put this punk to the test. I wonder how long he'll last."
"What happened to everything you said last night?! If you're going to be making up harebrained schemes, then give me back my pendant— Huh?!"
Darkness made a swipe for the pendant around my neck, but I dodged her and nimbly hid it away.
"Wh-where are you putting my family's pendant?" she demanded. "That thing is like a treasure to us…!"
I guess she didn't like where I had hidden the pendant, because Darkness was on the attack. "Hey, keep it down. Where do you think we are? We may be bodyguards, but we're representing our country, too. Show a little respect," I told her.
"You're telling me about respect? Ugh, please, please behave yourself…!"
Iris, watching us yell at each other, giggled. "This will be the first time I'll be meeting my prince, but I'm not nervous, since I've got all of you here. Thank you so much."
"See? Iris is cool as a cucumber. So why's her adviser the noisiest one in the room?"
"Whyyy, y-y-youuu…! And just whose fault is it that I'm so upset…?!"
It had been twenty or thirty minutes since we'd been told to stop and wait in front of the castle, where the owner himself, the prince, would come out to meet us. We were teasing Darkness partly because we were tired of waiting, but at that moment… "Geez, that's a bunch of Belzerg bumpkins for you… Yapping and shouting right in front of a castle. Learn how to act, for crying out loud."
…there came the distinctly crackly voice of an adolescent boy. The kid looked to be about Iris's age. He was surprisingly tall for how young he was—almost as tall as I was. He had red hair and was surrounded by a huge entourage of advisers and supporters, as if trying to show off how powerful he was. The tiny crown resting on his head clued me in that this was Iris's fiancé.
"Do you see that, Darkness? Your inability to be calm and mature has gotten us scolded."
"My goodness, Darkness. We're dealing with royalty, remember? This is no place for your yelling."
"Grrrrr…!"
Megumin and Aqua gave Darkness a taste of her own medicine, and she lowered her head and flushed with embarrassment.
"Um…" Until that moment, Iris had stayed behind Darkness, but now she emerged in front of her senseless, indecorous companion. "Would you be Lord Levy, the first prince of Elroad? I am the first princess of Belzerg, Iris. I've come to this country to parley with you. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
She smiled with complete, sincere innocence, speaking in a pleasant voice that was neither too loud nor too soft. She executed a perfect bow, practically oozing elegance and loveliness. Standing there proudly as if to cover for Darkness, there was no hint of the timid, retiring girl I'd seen at our first meeting—just the rightful princess of an entire nation.
"L-Lady Iris…!" Darkness said, clearly moved to see her ruler, the girl she had thought of almost like a little sister, show such brilliance. I knew I wasn't one to talk, but it seemed like Claire and Darkness were both pretty overprotective of Iris.
(Image)
"So you're my betrothed, eh? I thought Belzerg's royal girls were supposed to be able to kick as much butt as their boys, but you don't look so tough. I was picturing someone stronger, someone more awesome. Boo."
"Wha—? Oh, I… Pardon me…" Hmm?
"And what's this? Four bodyguards? Can't Belzerg afford more than that? I'm sure you're all real strong or whatever, but you need to learn how to save some money!"
Then Prince Levy gave a nasty chuckle, causing his small entourage to laugh approvingly.
Ugh, what a little snot. I couldn't believe this was how he chose to make a first impression. Prince? He was just a dumb kid. I didn't think much of his retainers, either. Heck, what had happened to our countries being friends or allies or whatever? They sure didn't act like it.
…Then Prince Levy's interest seemed to turn from Iris to those of us standing with her. The people behind him did the same, turning their condescending gazes from Iris to us. When they saw Aqua and Megumin, several pairs of eyes went wide with surprise.
Levy, though, didn't notice; he went right on mocking us. "And those bodyguards, don't get me started. All so young, and not a decent piece of equipment on them. I can't believe you survived the trip."
This time, there was no chorus of laughter to back him up. Surprised, the prince turned around.
"I believe I shall take you up on that challenge," Megumin said, stepping forward with her crimson eyes flashing.
7
Maybe this kid thought he was being diplomatic. I didn't get his logic, but the prince obviously intended to bait us, to try to get a rise out of us. But there was one thing he hadn't counted on… "Please don't! Prince Levy knows but little of your nation and was unaware of the existence of the Crimson Magic Clan! Despite his provocations, he wasn't seriously challenging you…!"
"My prince, please take a close look at our visitors! That is a member of the Crimson Magic Clan, a group so dangerous that even the Demon King fears them. They are not known for their sense of humor, so please be careful not to say anything careless to her!"
"Y-yeah, okay, I'm sorry! It was my bad! Just please stop chanting your spell!"
At the desperate urging of his retainers, the prince, looking spooked, apologized to Megumin.
"I will overlook your behavior this one time, but next time I shall not be so forgiving, eh? My name is Megumin. Master of Explosion and slayer of many generals of the Demon King. You had best not raise my ire."
"We understand that very well now, Lady Megumin. Rest assured. We will see to it that no such offense be committed in the future!" One of the retainers was apologizing profusely, but the prince himself still looked a bit peeved.
Beside me, Darkness was rubbing her temples with both hands, looking close to tears.
"I don't really get it, but at least I'm glad you know how to apologize. When I heard you say we bodyguards didn't look like much, I had half a mind to smite you with a holy boom, but I'll forgive you, too, this time."
Just when it looked like we could let the whole matter slide, Aqua had to butt in with her usual brand of stupidity. The prince looked at her, annoyed. "You, a priest, dare speak that way to me, a—?"
"Prince! My prince! This is a follower of the Axis Church. And the blue color of her hair suggests she is quite devout! Followers of this church are more dangerous than a Leisure Girl, harder to shake off than the undead!" One of the prince's retainers whispered a very well-warranted warning just as the boy was about to switch his target to Aqua.
"Excuse me, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about the Axis Church like we are friends with Leisure Girls and undead! Apologize for talking about my sweet lambs as if they are monsters!"
Aqua was a monster, all right—a monster complainer. The prince, thoroughly cowed, turned a nervous look on Darkness and me. The whispering with his attendant continued.
"So let me guess—Blondie there is something special, too?"
"The young woman you see there is the noble Lady Dustiness. Hailing from a noble family known as the King's Shield, she comes from a long line of powerful knights. I can't recommend making an enemy of her…" They weren't trying to hide their mouths, so Read Lips made their conversation as clear as day to me.
Then, naturally, the prince's gaze fell on me… "And what about the pathetic-looking guy…?"
"Hmm, I've never seen or heard of him. I assumed he was just along to carry their bags."
Oh, they were gonna pay.
Just when we were all struggling for a way to wrap things up… "What is all this commotion about?"
A man emerged from the castle. He seemed perfectly ordinary, but one glance at his elaborate clothing made it obvious he was a bigwig around here.
He looked more dignified than the prince as he walked forward, almost seeming to float.
"My Lord Prime Minister!" one of the retainers said. "Ahem, you see…" Well, that explained who he was anyway. He must be the guy people had been gossiping about in the restaurant the day before: the prime minister leading the country by the nose.
As everyone else hurried to suck up to him, Iris composed herself and said, "Greetings. I am Iris, First Princess of Belzerg. It is an honor to meet you."
"Well now, this here is far cuter than anything I expected to see from the royal family of Belzerg. I am Lugkraft, humbly serving as prime minister. I look forward to a productive meeting with you."
All the chatter had died down the moment the prime minister appeared. He greeted the rest of us solicitously, then turned and started walking away. We heaved a collective sigh of relief and followed him.
"If you will, Lady Iris, you and your company may follow me. Preparations for your reception have commenced…" At that exact moment, Aqua wandered up to the man and gave him a nonchalant pat on the back. "Y-yes, priest? Can I help you in some way?"
Aqua cocked her head. "I don't quite know why, but you sort of bug me, mister. You don't have the stink of a demon, and you don't feel like an undead… Hey, mister, you wouldn't happen to be consorting with demons, right? Or keeping a feral undead as a pet, maybe?"
Darkness immediately started bowing and trying to cover. "I'm so sorry, Lord Lugkraft! This person is a follower of the Axis Church—a group of known crazies!"
That caused Aqua to try to slip away from the hand Darkness was using to restrain her.
"Ah, well, an Axis follower can hardly be blamed for acting irrationally. Please don't worry. It truly doesn't bother me…" But ever since Aqua had touched him, the prime minister's expression had been strained.
8
"I—I beg your assistance in this matter!"
Iris, who had been conferring with the prime minister, spoke in a voice that could be heard all throughout the audience chamber.
Just as the prime minister had told us, we found ourselves welcomed when we entered the castle. For a party in a big, economically powerful country, the reception seemed weirdly low-key.
"Your begging may be for naught, I'm afraid. Our nation is up against a financial wall. Just look at this party. We are welcoming the princess of Belzerg, our cherished ally, and yet, this is the most lavish reception we can afford. Thus, you see, even at your personal request, Lady Iris, we cannot hope to take on any more of the financial burden of defense."
The prime minister looked suitably apologetic, but his refusal was adamant.
Us, the prime minister, the prince, and his entourage were the only ones at the table in the little reception hall, although we were stuffing our faces.
"But from what I've seen so far, I cannot say this looks like a nation on the brink of financial collapse…," Iris said. I was hanging around as inconspicuously as I could, and it sounded like they were getting to the heart of the matter.
"I grant, it may appear so to an outsider. But those who live in this country are in extreme duress, by no means able to offer support…" "I—I see…" Iris drooped at that.
Normally, I would have expected Darkness, our resident noble, to say something. Unfortunately, she was too busy glaring at our two problem children, who were eating and drinking everything in sight.
Well, I would simply have to pick up the slack.
"'Scuse me. Mind if I butt in?"
"E-Elder Brother?"
I inserted myself between the chatting parties, provoking a not-so-subtle look of disgust from the minister.
"You're one of Lady Iris's bodyguards, as I recall. The lady and I are currently engaged in a discussion of great gravity. Perhaps whatever you have to say could wait until later?"
"Nah, don't worry about it—I'm this kid's big brother. Think of me like her guardian."
The prime minister stared at me incredulously, especially when I said "big brother." The toadies in the hall picked up the refrain: "Big brother? That's Prince Jatice?!"
"I see… Yes, Lady Iris did call you Elder Brother, but I never imagined… The last I heard, you were on the front lines, fighting the Demon King. Perhaps I was misinformed. And that black hair and those black eyes… Could they have been passed down to you from the Hero?"
The prime minister busied himself mistaking my identity. I didn't know what he was going on about, with all this muttering about black hair, black eyes, and inheriting things from ancestors, but this was obviously my chance.
"Regardless," he concluded, "the august nature of the person issuing the request makes no difference, I'm afraid. We cannot spare anything for further support. I am terribly sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to resign yourselves to that fact." He sounded especially emphatic, like he was a little worried about me.
I should've known we weren't going to get anything out of the prime minister.
But that still left… "I see, I see… Iris, in that case, let's go ask Prince Levy. I assume you have no objections if the prince himself says he'll give us the money?"
"What?! Of course I would object! I've been telling you we simply don't have the means! And on top of that, I run the government in this country, so no matter what the prince says…" Cracking my knuckles, I leaned in nice and close to the livid prime minister. "A little birdie in town told me that the prince has final authority over every political decision. People seemed to have a lot of good things to say about you, too, Prime Minister. Like how the country was rolling in cash thanks to you. But what's this—good times? Well, that doesn't sound like what you've been telling us, does it?"
In a voice that made him sound like he was passing a kidney stone, the prime minister said, "Very well. Only, you must conduct your negotiations with the prince by yourselves. As for me, I have no authority to intercede."
It sounded like he was washing his hands of the matter. That was fine by me.
This prince didn't look like the sharpest knife in the drawer anyway.
Iris and I trotted over to the prince, the prime minister following as if to keep an eye on things. I guess he wanted to make sure the kid didn't get sucked in by whatever we said.
Iris smiled at the prince, who was engaged in conversation with one of his attendants. "How are you this day, Prince Levy? Might I be so bold as to speak with you for a moment?"
The prince, who had been chatting happily, instantly took on a sore look. "I was fine until about five seconds ago. What would you want to talk about? I don't have anything to say to some barbarian princess from Belzerg."
The venom just kept coming… That does it. I'm gonna strangle this runt.
"Hey, punk, you've got some nerve speaking to my little sister like that. What, never heard of being polite? You making fun of us? Pretty trash fiancé if you ask me."
"E-Elder Brother!"
"Huh?! How dare you, you dumb, ugly… Elder Brother?"
Iris grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to a corner of the room. "Elder Brother, please. Please don't let your temper get the better of you. Our nation desperately needs defense money as well as funds to go on the offensive.
Otherwise, we won't even be able to pay rewards to adventurers. Please, for my sake, bear with him, will you?"
Looking into Iris's beseeching eyes, I pushed down my boiling anger. "…I guess I can't say no when you put it that way."
As for the prince, he was holding a whispered conference with his prime minister and entourage. I assumed they were explaining to him who I was. Or at least, who they thought I was.
"Phew, look, sorry about that. Having your little sister mocked right in front of you just strikes a nerve, y'know? I mean, it was kind of your own fault, but we're willing to let bygones be bygones. I was this close to siccing my crazy Crimson Magic Clan member and nutjob Axis follower on you."
"Hrk?! U-um, yeah. I went a little too far myself. Let's just say it's water under the bridge."
What a delightful reaction. I guess he knew enough to be afraid of the Crimson Magic Clan and the Axis Church.
This was a good chance to ask him about the money. Iris seemed to pick up on what I was thinking, because she gave me a little nod and looked at the prince. "In fact, Your Majesty, we wished to speak to you regarding the matter of money for the defense…" Iris had hardly finished speaking before the prince said, "Impossible." There was no sign of the cowering boy from an instant ago; suddenly, he carried himself like a prince. "Lugkraft's given me the details. There can only be, and has only ever been, one answer, and that's absolutely not."
So this was what it meant to find yourself adrift and helpless.
"Er, if I may ask, why not? Without your support, Belzerg will be overrun by the Demon King, and once he has conquered us, Elroad will be his next target."
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. I've already got it covered. Our nation doesn't plan to resist the Demon King. So I can hardly go around handing out money to fight him."
… "What…? Wh-what do you mean, Your Majesty? What's to become of the alliance between our nations?"
"Eh, we have our own stuff to deal with. If you want to continue the alliance, fine, but the main thing is not to aggravate the Demon King and his army. Oh, and you can go ahead and consider the engagement annulled if you want. It was really my parents' idea anyway. I never wanted to get married to some barbarian princess from stupid Belzerg. What self-respecting guy would marry a girl who was stronger than he was?"
One second.
That's approximately how long I thought I saw a happy look pass over Iris's face, but then she dissolved into tears and grabbed the prince by the chest with both hands. "I don't care one bit if you call off our engagement. But without that money…!"
"Get as angry as you want—I don't care. If you're half the royal you say you are… Glrgh. W-wait, stop, I can't br—! Stop, hold on…!"
Iris's hands were around his collar now, the prince's face turning white before our very eyes. His attendants were in an uproar.
"Cough, hack! Geez, you really are a barbarian!" the prince declared, his own eyes brimming now. "I was right not to marry you! If you're all done talking, then get the hell out of here!"
"…Very well," Iris said, her head drooping.
The prince grinned. "Yeah? Then—" "I shall return tomorrow," she announced before he could finish.
"…Huh?" That caught him off guard.
Iris puffed out her little chest proudly. "I shall speak to you again tomorrow.
And not only tomorrow. The day after that, as well, and the day after that. I shall speak to you until you agree to support us."
The prince's jaw fell open as Iris stared him down. "W-well, just you try!" he said, collecting himself.
Iris grinned from ear to ear when she heard that. "Yes, Your Majesty, I certainly will!"
And with that, she took my hand and spun on her heel.
The prince shouted from behind us. "Hey, starting tomorrow, you only get one bodyguard! Don't bring your Crimson Magic whatevers or your Axis so-and-sos! And leave that Dustiness girl home, too! Just that wimpy-looking brother of yours!"
It was all the resistance he could offer.