Prologue

A little girl who looked an awful lot like Darkness stood right in the center of the Adventurers Guild, smiling innocently.

"Boy, she's a dead ringer for you, li'l Lalatina!" one female adventurer exclaimed, holding up a mug and gesturing at Darkness. She was absolutely taken by the girl's adorable appearance. "C'mon—tell us the truth. Who's the father?"

"Arrrgh, these damnable drunks! Kazuma, don't leave me to fend for myself!

Do something about them!" I guess Darkness was pretty embarrassed, because she'd been flushed red for quite a while before she finally turned to me for help. So how did I help her, you ask?

"I am! I'm the father!" I confidently pointed a thumb at myself, and Darkness nearly pounced on me in the same breath.

"I'll kill you for that, you jerk! Don't make this any worse than it already is!"

The young girl giggled when she saw me and Darkness going at it. She was surrounded by a circle of grizzled adventurers and was smiling so widely that if you happened to see the scene in passing, you would feel compelled to alert the local authorities.

"Hey, Kazuma, I think it's about time we decided who was VIP this time," Aqua said, clearly in good spirits.

"You mean MVP. Which, I can confidently assure you, was myself."

Megumin, smiling wisely, broke in. "Oh, can you? I believe I, with my robust display of Crimson Magic Clan secret techniques, have earned MVP this time."

"All you did was mix the ingredients together. The bartender here at the Guild could have done a better job." Megumin puffed out her cheeks angrily at that, so I added, "Hey, if it bothers you that much, how about we ask the girl of the hour? See who she thinks did the best work. Although I think we all know the answer to that one. I'm talking about me, of course!" Pointing at myself once again, I turned to the guest of honor, aka the reason we were having the party at all: the girl grinning in Darkness's arms. "Who do you think was number one, munchkin?" I asked.

At that, the girl looked up at Darkness, and…