InspiratioN for InspiratioN

I sit here typing on my phone not knowing what to right , waiting for the inspiration to hit me like a bus or train I don't know , but what I do know is that it must hit me hard.

Still none , maybe it's because my mind is only fulled with inspiration to write about getting inspiration. But am I inspired then ?

I sit here looking at my phone still with no inspiration, like an infinite cycle of waiting.

Maybe I should only write about waiting for inspiration and make it deep , but in the end it would just end up shallow now that I told you what I want to do going forward.

So I've taken it upon myself to write about me right now . I just woke up like an hour ago , I made some coffee and showered . My back hurts as I've been sleeping on a couch for a month , but I still have a bed . For like 40 mins I've just been watching reels and shorts , and these days that all I ever seem to do .

Instead of doing school work , reels .

Instead of studying for my exam , reels . Instead of doing my projects , reels.

Instead of spending time with family and friends, reels.

Instead of exercising, reels.

It's almost as if my whole entire life has been consumed by reels , and I know that it is and I know the root problem but I can't make myself get rid of it . I'm addicted and addictions are hard to stop . And no matter how much harm it does to me I just can't stop it .

You know what , as I type this out I have come to the realisation that I should just delete Instagram and YouTube.

Okay quick update, I've deleted Instagram but it seems I can't delete YouTube soooooooooo there goes my plan out a window.

Anyways I'm just glad I found my inspiration to write and I am now going to go

Inspiration is what I look for , I look for inspiration to be my true self ,I look for inspiration to live , I look for inspiration to just continue and not give up . And as each day passes It seems harder and harder to find that inspiration. And I'm trying as hard as I can but I just can't I don't want to anymore. The action of waking up is hard , not because I'm tired but because I don't want to be awake .