Chapter 1778. Then, Let's Check It Out. (3)

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"....."

After hearing all of this, what could anyone possibly say?

Jin Songwon's voice was calm, as if he were merely retelling the story of someone else.

Even so, the emotions came through clearly. The misery, sorrow, and human anguish he must have felt that day when he had to abandon everything.

Because of that, Baek Cheon couldn't say a word. He simply stared blankly at the man in front of him—who, even with his mask on, could not hide how worn and haggard he had become.

"And after that…."

When Jin Songwon spoke again, Baek Cheon flinched without realizing it.

It was the first time words without hostility had felt so piercing, as if they were sinking into his skin.

"It's not much different from what you're expecting."

"....."

"A dog barks when told and crawls when commanded."

There wasn't even self-deprecation in his tone. No disappointment, no emptiness.

Perhaps what Baek Cheon was facing was merely the shell of the man who had once been called Jin Songwon, now long since hollowed out.

Cautiously, Baek Cheon asked.

"So that's why you stood in the way?"

"....."

"Because you already decided to stop thinking for yourself, because you'd resigned yourself to being a dog?"

Jin Songwon's gaze darkened. Baek Cheon bit his lower lip firmly before continuing to press.

"Is that why you blocked the Zhuge and Moyong families? Just because Jang Ilso ordered it? Did you really not know how many lives that would cost?"

Though his voice was becoming more heated, Jin Songwon didn't even blink. He just continued to stare at Baek Cheon.

"That war could have ended back then. If it had, maybe…."

So much bloodshed could have been avoided.

Perhaps even Baek Cheon himself could still be standing proudly as a disciple of Mount Hua, dreaming of the future, unlike his current broken state.

These people ruined all those possibilities.

"Why on earth?!"

Baek Cheon's voice rose in anger, his breathing quickening with rage. Once he calmed down slightly, Jin Songwon finally responded.

"Let me ask you something. If you could only save one, would you save one person or a hundred?"

At the sudden question, Baek Cheon frowned.

"What does that mean?"

"Just answer. If you could only save one side, which would you choose?"

Baek Cheon opened his mouth to answer but then closed it again without saying anything.

Watching this, Jin Songwon chuckled.

"You're so upright. Almost enviably so."

"....."

"Is it my turn to answer? Yes, I knew. I knew exactly what we were doing and how many lives it would cost. It would have been easier if I hadn't known, but I was fully aware."

They blocked the reinforcements that came to help Shaolin. They interrupted the heroes who were going to defeat the evil sects. They had thwarted a move that could have significantly altered the fate of the world, the move Beopjeong had orchestrated with everything he had.

At that moment, they had another choice. That day was an opportunity for Beopjeong, but perhaps it had been an opportunity for them too.

Yet they chose obedience once more.

"Why? Well….. I suppose because people think, but dogs follow. Or maybe because, in the end, even the weakest creatures love their offspring above all else. What other reason could there be?"

"..... Thousands of lives were lost."

"Yes, they were. You're right"

Jin Songwon let out a low laugh. This time, an emptiness that hadn't been there earlier seeped into his expression.

"Jang Ilso is thoroughly meticulous. The children are still trapped in Yunnan, far out of our reach."

"....."

"The moment we even slightly disobey their commands, all those children will be killed. No, they wouldn't simply be killed. They'd be made to suffer every possible torment before they die, all because they had the misfortune of joining Diancang and catching Jang Ilso's attention."

Jin Songwon's gaze grew sharper.

"Compared to that, at least those who died fighting alongside Shaolin died by their own choice. Isn't that a better fate?"

"How could you possibly say that…!"

"What then?"

Jin Songwon retorted sharply, his eyes bloodshot with rage. But it wasn't just anger—it was frustration, an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

"Should I have just looked the other way? Should I have sighed and said it was bad luck? Should I have shaken my head while watching those children, barely old enough to hold a sword, get torn to shreds?"

"....."

"What should I have done?"

"Sect leader.…"

"Tell me. What should I have done? What could I have done so that you wouldn't be blaming me now?"

Baek Cheon bit his lower lip hard.

Even though he knew the answer, he couldn't bring himself to say it. If Baek Cheon had been in Jin Songwon's position, would he have had the courage to make the decision that was forming in his mind?

If Baek Cheon had been in Jin Songwon's place, if the ones taken hostage had been Yoo Iseol, Yoon Jong, Jo Geol, or Tang Soso….. The disciples of Mount Hua, who were dearer to him than his own life. If they had fallen into the enemy's hands, could he have attacked the evil sects without hesitation, sealing their brutal deaths?

'I don't know…'

Perhaps he could have, at least for the sake of the Five Swords. Even if it meant taking responsibility for that decision and ending his own life, Baek Cheon wouldn't have let his fellow disciples be consumed by the evil sect's grasp.

But if the hostages were children?

If they were innocent children, not even old enough to wield a sword, would Baek Cheon still be able to make the same choice? Could he place the responsibility of a warrior's duty on those fragile hands that had never known battle?

"Thousands of lives and dozens of lives—they aren't the same. They can't be the same. I know that better than anyone. But… what does it matter? I'm no longer human anyway. I can never be human again."

Could anyone truly condemn them for what they had done? Baek Cheon's face filled with despair.

'Everything is twisted.'

Not long ago, his world had been straightforward and clear. Right and wrong were absolute. Living in such a world might have been difficult, but it wasn't painful.

But at some point, the boundary between right and wrong had crumbled. It was as if the world had melted away, pulling him into a pit where nothing seemed certain anymore.

Seeing the torment on Baek Cheon's face, Jin Songwon let out a faint laugh.

"It's absurd, really."

"....."

"Utterly absurd."

The bitterness of his emotions was evident in the words he tossed out casually. Baek Cheon glared at Jin Songwon.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You must have already predicted what would happen to Diancang since you all chose the Tang Family over it."

Baek Cheon's gaze wavered for a moment.

Jin Songwon began to laugh. His hollow laughter filled the empty tent.

"Why are you pretending not to know anything? You've known the whole time."

"I....."

"You already knew that Diancang and countless people from Yunnan, including innocent children who were merely wearing the Diancang uniform, would be torn apart and killed by their hands. And you've lived on without a second thought. So why now, why act like it's suddenly so tragic?"

Baek Cheon's fingers trembled.

"Why?"

Jin Songwon's face twisted. Even though it was covered by a mask, Baek Cheon could clearly see it. It was a distortion that could be either laughter or tears.

"Does it make you uncomfortable that those who should have disappeared far away have resurfaced and are now bringing up these buried questions?"

"What are you talking about…."

"Isn't it true?"

Jin Songwon's laughter continued to echo.

"Then why the expression? It's ridiculous. If I had a mirror, I'd show you your face right now."

"….."

"Don't worry. I'm not here to blame you. Even though I'm no longer considered human, I'm not shameless enough to blame Mount Hua or Heavenly Comrade Alliance responsible for something they had no part in. It's just..."

Jin Songwon's gaze pierced through Baek Cheon.

"When I see that face of yours, feigning torment over what you've known all along, I realize I still have some semblance of human disgust left in me. Or maybe... that's just what people are like."

Jin Songwon stood up.

Baek Cheon didn't move. He didn't try to stop him or ask anything.

There would be no answers anyway.

The man once called Jin Songwon had already died long ago. What remained here was merely his grudge, denied even the peace of death.

And yet, Baek Cheon had one question. His voice halted Jin Songwon as he turned to leave.

"Why… did you help me?"

"....."

"If you were so filled with resentment, then why?"

Jin Songwon stood still for a long while without responding.

After a torturous silence, a faint, worn-out voice slipped from his lips.

"Who knows…. Perhaps because our situations aren't so different. Or maybe it was just a whim."

"....."

"But then again. Maybe…"

Jin Songwon's words trailed off without completion.

After he left, Baek Cheon was alone in the tent. He slowly lifted a hand that wouldn't listen and brushed his face.

Step. Step.

As if chasing after Jin Songwon, Baek Cheon trudged out and threw open the tent flaps. The stifling darkness of the tent was replaced by the glaring sunlight that pierced his eyes. The sky was still clear, and the sun shone brilliantly.

People sat here and there, scattered like discarded objects.

Before he entered the tent, how had Baek Cheon seen those people? And now, how did he view them?

So much had changed. But objectively, nothing was different.

'Maybe it's just…'

Jin Songwon had said nothing more.

But Baek Cheon felt as though he heard the words that should have followed.

Maybe I just wanted someone, anyone, to understand.

Jin Songwon hadn't asked Baek Cheon to stay, nor had he told him to leave. He had simply shared his story and departed.

Now, the rest was entirely up to Baek Cheon's will.

After staring outside for a long while, Baek Cheon slowly sank down, gradually becoming as faded and sunken as the others around him.

 

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".... Are you Dalai Lama?"

Cheong Myeong's eyes briefly wavered with doubt but quickly regained their calm.

The boy with the red face he had encountered on his return from Northern Sea.

Cheong Myeong remembered how there had been something distinctly different about him, something that even he couldn't dismiss lightly. That same boy now stood before him, having grown into a young man, still carrying fragments of the past.

'Did he call it the Three Innumerable Kalpa?' [삼아승지겁(三阿僧祗劫)]

[tl note: this was the phrase that Dalai Lama said to Chung Myung in chapter 550. The full sentence that Dalai Lama said at that time was "Poor child of Central Plains. Why are you trying to walk on such a rough and thorny path? Why are you trying to walk the Three Innumerable Kalpa, which is no different from the hell itself? Just why..."]

The words the boy had uttered back then, as if in a trance, still lingered in Cheong Myeong's memory like a scar.

He had thought they might meet again someday, but he never imagined it would be in a place like this.

"Did you come looking for me?"

Dalai Lama slowly nodded.

"Yes, siju."

"…. Why?"

"There is much we must discuss. That is the fate that lies between us. But... you may not yet understand most of it."

Cheong Myeong's eyes narrowed slightly.

"What are you.…"

Dalai Lama sighed briefly and then looked directly at Cheong Myeong. His gaze was so deep it felt like it might pull Cheong Myeong in.

"So for now, I would like to discuss about your regrets."