23

Chapter 23: We Are Not Yet What We Shall BeNotes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Izuku doesn't find any more information on kidnappers or traffickers. Not from what he's able to do at home. He promised himself he wouldn't go out though, and he intends to stick to it.

He tries to keep busy. Any task he starts is either finished too quickly or doesn't hold his attention long enough. It's absolutely terrible. The nightmares don't help either. He thought he finally could get some decent sleep, since he's no longer illegally crime fighting at night, but his brain refuses to let him rest. Something inside him keeps telling him he needs to do more, more, more!

Izuku is so out of it, he doesn't even notice that his UA letter comes in the mail until his mother shoves the envelope in his face.

"It came! It's here!" She announces with shock, as if she can't believe the moment has finally come.

"It's here, honey!" She appears more nervous than he is, which helps Izuku calm down and grab the letter from his mother's trembling hands.

He thinks about opening it in front of her, but in the end decides to do it alone within his room as he did before. Izuku may have been counting his points somewhat, and he knows he got more than last time so he should get in, but he still can't shake the terrible thought that he might not make it. It's stupid, but Izuku's hands are shaking and he'd rather his mom didn't see him breakdown if he doesn't manage to get accepted.

In his room, Izuku pulls the hologram disk out of the thick envelope. He hesitates briefly, not sure he can handle rejection, but shakes the negativity out of his head. He's different. He's learned and grown. He trusts that UA was able to make him stronger.

The hologram activates with the click of a button. All Might's smiling face greets him, and Izuku feels a part of him settle, a little more at ease in the presence of his mentor, even if it is just a projection.

"Testing. One. Two...AM I ON SCREEN?!" He shouts, causing Izuku to smile. "Congratulations!" The pro hero proclaims, the volume easily loud enough to be heard in the other room. " For making it into UA's hero course, applicant Midoriya Izuku! After your participation in the written and practical examinations, and with a total score of 82 points, we welcome you to attend UA this coming spring..."

Izuku stops listening. He may have stopped breathing as well. Tears stream down his face and Izuku fruitlessly wipes at them while a large smile spreads across his face. He did it. He made it in! He chuckles to himself through his tears at how happy he is even though this isn't his first time. It doesn't matter to him though, Izuku would probably never think that acceptance into UA is anything less than incredible, even if he had to pass the test again a hundred times over. It is just that awe-inspiring.

Leaving the hologram upon his desk, Izuku rushes out of his room. His mother stops what must've been her pacing back and forth. He spares a second to smile at her widely then sweeps her up into a hug and twirls her around.

His mother shouts in surprise but it's drowned out by Izuku's own chanting.

"I made it in! I made it in! I made it in!"

"Wha…?" His mother starts before her eyes widen. His words finally break through to her.

"Izuku!" His mother exclaims and she laughs while she hugs him back, still in his arms. "You did it! I'm so happy for you! My little hero!" She squeezes him fiercely in her excitement and her eyes shine with tears. But she's happy and the thought makes Izuku even giddier.

He feels like he's on top of the world.

As his mother and him celebrate, nothing can bring his mood down. He falls asleep peacefully, the best night of sleep he's had for a while now, with visions of a sunlit future. It's a wonderful feeling.

Izuku only hopes it will last when he reaches UA.

Unfortunately, Izuku has to spend a little more time at Aldera before he can go to UA. On the upside, the time passes fast, for which Izuku is grateful.

The day comes where the school hears the results of their high school entrance exams. Izuku is working on whatever trivial busywork the teacher gave them today when he hears him and Kacchan being called over the intercom to report to the guidance counselor.

At first, Izuku is confused, and then he sighs in remembrance. He stands from his seat and locks eyes with Kacchan.

Kacchan is going to find out that he made it into UA. His memory, and the exact details, are fuzzy, but he recalls Kacchan dragging him out back and yelling at him. Will the same thing happen this time?

Izuku side eyes Kacchan, who is ignoring him still, hands shoved in his pockets. Probably. Kacchan will most certainly be mad. Izuku knows this as well as he knows that the blonde leads with a right hook. But since Izuku is currently being ignored, maybe things won't play out the same?

As he considers it, him and Kacchan arrive at the guidance counselor's office.

The man reclines in his chair, a computer in front of him with an email pulled up. He smiles at the two of them as they enter.

"Ah. Bakugou-kun, Midoriya-kun. Welcome."

Izuku shuffles in, glancing at Kacchan every five seconds for any signs of an incoming reaction.

"I'm here to discuss the results from your entrance exams with you. UA, which you both applied to, just sent us an email."

He pauses. He seems to like the dramatics. Izuku would rather he just spit it out already.

"Bakugou-kun of course got in. Second place is very impressive."

Kacchan grunts and Izuku blinks. Second? Not first? Why? With how many people apply, second is still incredible, but Kacchan should've gotten first. Who changed the timeline? Who is the poor soul that got number one? Kacchan would kill them.

"...And Midoriya's acceptance in particular is a miracle among miracles!" The counselor continues. "I had to reread the email three times when I saw you got first!"

Wait, what?!

He knew he got more points, and his acceptance hologram told him his points, but it didn't say anything about how he compared to everyone else. Did All Might just forget to mention it?! Isn't this going to cause a lot of problems?!

Izuku can already feel a hole burning into the side of his head from Kacchan's furious glare. He internally apologizes. I'm sorry, Kacchan. Please don't kill me.

"To think that two students from our school are going to UA! And the first and second rankers too! It's frankly unprecedented."

Izuku hears Kacchan growl and he laughs nervously. Oh boy. He has some explaining to do...again. At least now Kacchan won't be ignoring him.

Sure enough, as soon as they're dismissed, Kacchan grabs Izuku by the arm and drags him outside, behind the school. His grip is tight, but Izuku lets himself be dragged because honestly this confrontation was a long time coming.

Kacchan releases him into a brick wall and roughly grabs his collar. Izuku latches onto Kacchan's arm on reflex and they stare each other down.

"What dirty goddamn trick did you use to pass the exam, shitheel?! How did someone like you snatch first place?!" Kacchan yells, spittle flying from his mouth.

Izuku can't help the sigh that escapes him. "I didn't do anything." He cuts in before Kacchan can rage anymore. "Honestly Kacchan, how could I trick UA? The best hero school in Japan?"

Kacchan growls, obviously not liking the answer, but unable to refute it.

"It was supposed to be me. " Kacchan hisses. "I was supposed to be the only one to go to UA from here! Me alone."

"Well, you aren't." Izuku says simply, shoving Kacchan off him, much to the other's surprise. "I told you before that I would become a hero, although taking first place was never the plan…" He trails off with a grimace. Does that mean he'll have to give a speech at the Sport's Festival? Damn.

"Just listen, alright? I know you hate me right now, but that's going to change. You're going to be an amazing hero Kacchan. And I will too! You're my rival! The one I am always striving to surpass! I don't care if you don't believe in me right now, but I'm not going to let you put me down anymore!"

It feels good. Izuku has finally said the things he would've never been able to in the past. And, seeing Kacchan's flabbergasted expression, it's so worth it.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?! RIVALS?! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!"

Izuku can tell Kacchan's yelling is from his surprise rather than anger and he fights to contain a smile. He doesn't want to make him actually angry.

"Not really?" Izuku replies with a shrug. He gives a thought to goading Kacchan into a fight right now, so that they can talk about their issues, but he decides against it. He's not sure what Aldera would do, and the surroundings definitely wouldn't survive their fight.

But, they do need to talk. "Kacchan, I…" He begins, thinking of all the things he wants to ask. His friend's recent behavior at the top of his list.

"...What happened to you?"

Kacchan scowls, his face twisting into one of confusion. "What happened to me?! What happened to YOU?! Ever since you came back, you've been out of your fucking mind!"

Izuku frowns. "What? No I haven't. You're the one being weird."

"ME?!" Kacchan screeches. His red eyes are narrowed in anger. He grabs one of Izuku's scarred hands. "What the fuck is this then?!"

Izuku already said this? "The villains-"

"And THIS?!" He pushes Izuku back, but Izuku compensates for it and only moves an inch. He looks for whatever Kacchan has noticed now, but doesn't see what he's referring to.

"What?" Izuku asks, looking around his body for what Kacchan is pointing at.

"YOU!" Kacchan screams. "WHERE THE FUCK DOES A QUIRKLESS SCREW-UP LIKE YOU GET OFF, ACTING LIKE THAT ?!"

Oh. Kacchan thinks he's acting weird.

Well, compared to quirkless middle school Izuku, he supposes he is.

"Uh...," Izuku speaks uncertainly, "A lot has happened."

Kacchan glares at him like he wants to murder him. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I'm going to figure it out!"

He pops off a few explosions, smiling evilly when Izuku flinches. "And don't even think about beating me when we get to UA! I'll fucking end you."

Izuku sighs again as Kacchan walks away. They'll need more time to work things out between them, not that he thought it could be magically fixed with one conversation anyway. At least he was able to say his piece without the blonde ignoring him.

Kacchan also...he seems to be watching Izuku closely. Perhaps a little too closely. He'll need to be careful of that. Then again, Kacchan will never draw the correct conclusion. How can he? He'd just think Izuku spontaneously changed his behavior. It makes more sense than time travel.

They can fix this. Izuku will fix this.

All he needs is for UA to start.

Izuku wakes up in a cold sweat. He takes deep breaths and shakes away the lingering images of blood and death. He wipes the sweat from his face and grimaces when he realizes that they're tears. Glancing at his clock, he sees that it's a few more hours until his alarm goes off. Then he'll be getting ready for school. His first day at UA.

Izuku suppresses a scream into his pillow. He should be excited. He should be looking forward to his first day at UA. He should be sleepless because of eagerness, not because of nightmares. But with everything that has happened, despite the time to come to terms with it, Izuku feels conflicted.

He is excited. There is a giddiness, the good kind of butterflies that make him feel sick. He's going to see all his friends again. His teachers. All Might. That warrants more than just a bit of excitement. But...

He can't shake the guilt of attending a hero school after what he's done. Breaking the law? Usurping the identity of another? Cheating on an exam? None of those things are something a hero does. He's a fraud. Once he gets there, Aizawa-sensei will take one look at him and give him the boot. Izuku doesn't even want to think about how terrible his day is about to go. And that gives him butterflies too, that also make him feel sick, just for different reasons.

Izuku scrolls on his phone for a bit before ultimately deciding it would be a poor choice to not get more sleep before his first day of school. He puts his phone away and stares into the darkness of his room. Hours pass, or maybe only minutes. Izuku doesn't remember falling asleep.

The blaring voice of All Might rouses him from his slumber and Izuku groggily flips the covers back and shuts off his alarm. Oh god. UA. Today.

After that not-so-shocking realization, Izuku jolts awake. He feels like he's activated One For All at 100%. He is buzzing.

He almost cries when he puts on his UA uniform. He probably is going to cry when he sees everyone.

...That's not going to be the best first impression, but honestly Izuku doesn't think he can help himself.

When he finally leaves his house, his mother is there to see him off.

"Did you pack your tissues?" She asks nervously.

"Mom, I don't-"

"What about your hanky? You can't leave without your hanky."

He smiles. "I've got it right here mom."

They stare at each other. Izuku has gone to school hundreds of times, but it's still the first time for his mother.

"Izuku." His mother says, tears brimming in her eyes. "My baby boy...you look so cool right now."

Izuku swallows back his own tears with a smile as he opens the door. He doesn't need to cry twice today! And he already knows he'll do it at UA!

"Thanks!" He answers with enthusiasm. "I'll see you again soon!"

He leaves before she can say anything else.

On the way to school, there is a voice repeatedly chanting in his head: I'm going to UA! I'm going to see my friends! I'm going to UA! I'm going to see my friends!

He really is excited.

And then he'll remember confronting Aizawa-sensei or Kacchan and the chanting will cut off.

His mind is running in circles. His anxiety is through the roof. None of it is helping.

Izuku disembarks the subway and soon arrives at UA's gates. His stomach does somersaults and his heart is trying to give him an early death. He has to muster all the courage he has to take the first step.

He takes a deep breath.

His foot hits the ground.

And the next step proves to be easier. Izuku follows the familiar route to Class 1-A. He passes people in the halls, some he recognizes vaguely, and some he knows as being from Class 1-B. It's so weird, to be invisible to everyone again, to start from zero.

When he reaches the door to Class 1-A, he can hardly hear anything over the drumming of his heart. He takes a few more deep breaths and reaches for the door. His hand shakes uncontrollably.

Then, hating the anticipation, like ripping off a bandaid, Izuku yanks the door open.

He's greeted with the sight of Kacchan, feet up on his desk, and an irritated Iida.

"A reason to 'end' me?!" Iida shouts in surprise. "What nerve! And you want to be a hero?!"

Izuku fights the smile that spreads over his face, but it's a losing battle. He observes his other classmates as they sit quietly at their desks or chat silently amongst themselves. He can already feel the waterworks coming.

Iida notices him then and power walks towards him. Izuku wipes at his eyes. He doesn't need to cry in front of Iida, again.

"Hello," Iida greets, offering a handshake. "I'm Iida Tenya from Soumei."

Izuku smiles with a quick sniffle and takes his friend's hand. "I'm Midoriya Izuku. It's nice to meet you Iida."

"M-midoriya, I must hand it to you; you divined the actual nature of the practical skills exam, didn't you?" Iida asks seriously, his face strangely shadowed.

"I...was blind to it!" He admits, continuing without any input from Izuku. "And I completely misread you! I hate to admit it, but you were the better man!"

Izuku smiles warmly at his friend. Iida's too hard on himself. "No one was the 'better man'." He replies. "We're all here to be heroes and to learn. Don't be so down, just use the entrance exam as a learning moment! The next time, I'm sure you'll get it!" He gives Iida a thumbs up.

Iida's eyes widen in surprise.

"Or, uh, that's what I think." Izuku adds, nervousness bubbling up at the thought that he may have said the wrong thing.

Iida looks pensive. "You are correct! Thank you Midoriya!" He says with a smile.

Izuku chuckles, relieved. "No problem."

He catches Kacchan, as well as many of his other classmates, staring at him. He didn't do anything wrong, right?

"Ah! It's you!" A familiar voice calls from behind him. Izuku turns around and sees Uraraka, the only one yet to arrive. His smile is blinding.

"Glad I found you!" She says with a grin. "I thought you'd make it in! That kick was out of this world!"

He absently runs his hand through his hair. "I'm just glad you didn't get too hurt." Izuku responds sincerely.

Uraraka seems even more excited. She crowds him, causing him to take a step backwards into the classroom. "Thanks again, by the way! Ah! I wonder if today's the ceremony? Or is it guidance counselor stuff today? Oh, and the teacher, what'll they be like? I'm so anxious, like wow!"

Izuku listens indulgently, he's glad Uraraka seems to like him right off the bat, before he feels a shiver run down his spine. Oh no. He can already tell who it is before they announce themselves.

"If you're going to be hunting for buddies, do it elsewhere." Aizawa-sensei drones from his place upon the floor. Izuku ducks behind Uraraka on instinct alone. In hindsight, that probably makes him look more suspicious.

"This is the department...of heroics!" He hears Aizawa-sensei say and he sighs in relief. Maybe his teacher doesn't know? Maybe he hasn't connected him to 'Deku'? He certainly seems to be following the same script as the first time.

Izuku and Uraraka move off to the side as Aizawa-sensei climbs out of his sleeping bag. Izuku is sure to stay out of the pro's sight, ducking behind his classmates and hopefully getting lost in the crowd.

When he finally stops moving, he hears Aizawa-sensei mention the quirk apprehension test. He looks at his teacher.

Their eyes lock immediately. Izuku feels his heart drop to his feet. As his teacher continues speaking, his eyes don't move off Izuku, and that does terrible things to his blood pressure.

He knows. He knows. He knows.

Izuku's so fucked.

Notes:

So I was gonna post this on Halloween as a treat, but I wasn't done, so I guess it's a trick now :/

Also, yeah, part 1 of 2 baby! You can yell at me in the comments. The rest is coming soon.

On another note, this took so long because I was working on two other bnha fanfics lol. One, I posted and the other is coming soon. (It's a Coraline au) Check them out!

As always, love y'all, your comments and kudos breathe life into my decaying body. Stay safe!