16

Chapter 16: fifteen: friends with the monsterSummary:

It's both the end and the beginning, in a lot of ways.

Notes:

This chapter is dedicated entirely to Billionaire Weather, who's sponsored it. Honestly, thank you so much! (/▽＼*)｡o○ Thanks to her (and the quarantine), this chapter got out way sooner than expected.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I do not own Naruto.

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Becoming Hokage 101

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Third Section

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Chapter Fifteen

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Once, and only once, the monster in my head talked to me.

It still didn't have a human form - or any kind of form, really - but it sat down and started a conversation with me.

"Do you want to be hokage even if your precious people are gone?"

I had thought about my brothers. Kakashi. Genma and Gai. Choza-sensei. Minato, Rin, and Obito. My parents. My family. My friends.

If they were gone, would I still consider Konoha home?

"...I do think Konoha could be an even better place, with or without my precious ones. Even if they're gone, there will still be others that are precious to someone else. It just… wouldn't be the same."

"What wouldn't?"

"Everything. These people are a piece of my home. Konoha is the other half. If they were gone, this village would only be a bit of home to me."

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The hospital is located in the middle of the village, somewhere that's easily accessible to everyone. It stands close to the admin building, a looming white building that's somehow always busy despite never working at full capacity.

It's a short run, but my lungs burn. The monster in my head is eerily silent for once, and I'm thankful for it.

I can't really think of anything else other than my brother.

'Tooru, you'd better be okay. You'd better-'

My parents are in the waiting lobby when the three of us arrive, no doubt looking like deers caught in headlights. Mother just has a resigned look on her face, while father actually looks a bit shocked to see us there. Surprisingly enough, there's no one else in the place, and a part of me wonders if the hospital is that seriously understaffed. Not even the nurse that usually sits on the receptionist's desk is here.

"Asuma, we told you we'd tell Chiyuki later." The Sandaime gently chides my brother, but the middle child doesn't look the least bit sorry.

'Well, looks like someone's rebellious streak has rubbed off on others.'

"I want to see my brother." I say in a hard tone, and the place goes deadly silent. My parents look at me with a hard gaze, expecting me to be sorry and behave, but I'm not a toddler wanting to impress them anymore.

'I want to see my brother.'

The Mask shatters to the ground, but I'm the only one who can see and hear it. Millions of shards of it fall to the light blue hospital floor, but the monster remains silent.

'I want to see my brother.'

"That's enough, Chiyuki. Tooru will be fine, you can see him tomorrow after you've finished reflecting on your actions. You as well, Asuma." Father scolds us, much less gentle than before.

'I want to see my brother!'

I don't make an effort to hide how upset and frustrated I am. I feel the choker around my neck vibrate, the iron beads responding to my feelings, but I can't gather the will to make my chakra behave. Holding each of my sweaty palms are equally sweaty ones, and I squeeze them. Asuma and Kakashi squeeze them back.

"Make sure you're quick." Mother's voice cuts through the tense mood, a look in her eyes I can't quite begin to understand. It's both freezing and warm at the same time, but I don't care much for it now.

Without waiting for any other comment, I rush forward and drag the other two boys with me, letting Tooru's iron sing to me.

"Biwako, what-"

"Not now, Hiruzen."

Voices fade to background noise as the iron in Tooru's blood sings louder and louder to me. I see a few nurses going about their jobs, but no one stops us.

Stopping in front of a door in the high security floor, I quickly access the place. There's one hum of iron I don't recognize, but the lack of chakra signature makes me think it's an ANBU bodyguard that's been assigned to my brother. It's the only other person in the whole floor aside from us, and I nod at Asuma before he yanks the door open.

There, in all his smiling glory, is our oldest brother.

There are a couple of machines attached to him, as well as an IV. At first glance he's broken an arm and a leg, but judging by how he favors his left side, his ribs are most likely broken as well. Bruises and scrapes cover him from head to toe, he looks pale, thin, and small, but he's smiling, and he's my brother, and he's alive.

"Niisan!" I'm the one to rush forward first, Asuma following closely behind. We're careful of his left side, instead pilling up on his right one and managing a hug pile.

"Niisan…"

Before I know it, I'm crying. The ugly kind, with fat tears rolling down my cheeks and snot staining my brother's hospital gown. I hear Asuma sniffing before he too gives in, and Tooru struggles to put his good arm around us.

"Kakashi, get up here. I need help."

Only then I realize we left my third brother standing awkwardly by the door, and knowing him he'd been about to leave, but there's no way I'm not going to be selfish right now.

"Kakaaashiiiii-!" I wail, and although the boy makes a pained face, he does come over, joining the pile of children as best as he can.

I don't know how much time passes. It might have been minutes, or it might have been hours. Thankfully no one comes for us, otherwise they'd have to deal with very stubborn mini killers.

"Niisan, are you in pain? Does it hurt a lot?" Somehow I feel like we're 3 again, struggling to keep up with Tooru. He's always been a reliable and steady presence, even when it felt like my world was tilting on its axis. My eldest brother is my own personal Sun, a warm source of light that comforts and protects. Even now, when our parents' chakra is thick in the room, Tooru's is like a fluffy blanket, taking the brunt of it and enveloping us in warmth and cosiness.

It makes me never want to leave.

"Eh, well. The pain meds are doing their job, so I'm fine. Might have to stay a few days here, though."

"Niisan, what happened?" Asuma asks the million dollar question, and I squeeze the life out of Kakashi. Tooru sighs, a dramatic little thing, but I can tell he's just trying to make the mood lighter.

"Well… there isn't much to it. It was a simple escort mission. We were actually on our way back home when shit hit the fan. I… tried to push myself and it backfired."

He looks at me with impossibly warm eyes when he says the last sentence, and I remember something he said a few years ago.

'He mentioned he didn't care about being clan heir. He said he was going to train harder because of me, because he was afraid of the attention I'd attract-'

"Stop that. It's not your fault."

I only realize I'm crying again when Tooru shakingly wipes my tears.

"But- you said-"

"I know what I said." He interrupts me gently, a look full of love in his eyes. Above my head, I feel Kakashi sigh and adjust his hold on me when I continue to cry. "And I meant it. But I'm doing it because I want to. Because I love you."

"I-if I didn't have-" I hiccup, and not for the first time nor the last I curse my circumstances.

'Why did I have to have these memories? Why this freaky-ass Iron Release? Why-'

"Stop. You are what you are, and all those parts of you are precious. I made a mistake, but I've learned my lesson."

"You want to be hokage, right?" Asuma suddenly says, and he and Tooru share a meaningful look. "We're going to support you. All three of us."

I feel Kakashi nod his head, and although the mushy talk has to be making him uncomfortable, his iron fizzles in a calm, relaxed manner.

"T-that doesn't mean I like seeing you like this!"

"I know, peanut. I'm sorry."

I hiccup one last time, wiping my face on my sleeve.

"You're forbidden from doing this again. Asuma-niisan and Kakashi too!"

A chorus of 'yes, ma'am' is my answer, and I can finally breathe.

"Now, tell me all you've been doing! I'm not up to gossip these days anymore, y'know. Kakashi, you go first!"

The silver haired boy sighs, a put up sound, but easily complies. My face feels swollen and I can tell I look like a tomato, but breathing has never been easier. I hear the boys' iron hum in a symphony, chakra lightly brushing against each other in a comfortable manner, and I snuggle closer to Tooru as we all take turns in telling what we've been up to.

The Mask does not pick itself up. It says broken on the ground, millions of shards glistening in the moonlight, and I think it might be better this way.

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The Ino-Shika-Cho is a famous group of individuals that have made a name for themselves and their clan way before Konoha was founded. When the three clans decided to make Konoha their home, Tobirama wrote in his diary that it was a great feat for such a small village. Since they always backed each other up and refused to take sides in the Warring Clans Era, they're well known as more like a huge clan than three different ones.

All that translates into: if you know one, you know them all.

"Honestly, if I'd known it'd be like this, I'd have found an excuse to ditch."

"You know that wouldn't have worked out. Sensei would have found you and dragged your ass back in a flash."

"That's true."

It's the middle of winter and for some reason I feel hot. It never snows in Konoha and it doesn't get extremely cold either, and the Akimichi clan decided it was time for a barbecue to warm up and enjoy some time together during grim times.

'Well, Choza-sensei is always talking about barbecues, so I suppose the clan does it often.'

Although in my memories of Before I see Genma as a rather popular guy, next to me is a pre-teen boy who's awkwardly trying to disappear behind an eight year old wearing pink overalls, and I do wonder when the hell he's gonna change so dramatically.

'Ah, the joys of puberty…'

"Kids, don't stand there in the corner! Come, I want to introduce you to everyone!"

Choza-sensei's booming voice finds us in the corner we were hiding at, the situation so out of our depth that even Gai felt out of place. Heads turn to look at us and I feel myself blush, but move forward regardless.

'If you can't fight them, join them.'

Next to him are two figures I know well, but have never met personally. Inoichi wasn't there when we went through our rotation on the Intelligence Division, and I've only ever seen Shikaku from afar in the Hokage Tower.

Our sensei is smiling brightly, and I can't help but smile back when he greets each of us with a pat on the head. He never ceases to amaze me with his ability to make everyone feel at ease with a single facial expression.

"These are my cute little hatchlings. Children, these are long-term friends of mine, Yamanaka Inoichi and Nara Shikaku."

It's not a formal setting, and if I were to do a bow befitting of meeting a clan head (in Shikaku's case) it'd turn the whole situation into an awkward mess, so the three of us settle for a respectful nod. Like everyone else does, sensei's friends glance at the seal on my forehead for a split second, and I suddenly feel self-conscious again.

'Ah, maybe I should've let my bangs down today…'

"I didn't quite believe Choza when he said you were cute, but turns out he was telling the truth!" Inoichi laughs, a nice sound that lightens up the mood. Shikaku makes me a bit nervous, but that's because of his sheer presence and potential.

Choza-sensei and Inoichi are powerful, of course they are, but the difference is that it shows. You look at them and you think 'oh fuck, I better not mess with them.' Shikaku looks bored 90% of the time and slouches his shoulders a lot, but his eyes are the most intense thing I've ever seen. They remind me of Kakashi's, only ten times worse. He's the kind of person that lures you into his trap slowly, gently, until you're in so deep there isn't a single chance of escape.

'I might respect him as much as Tsunade, and that's saying something.'

"Aren't they? Come now, children. Introduce yourselves."

"I am Maito Gai!"

"My name's Genma, it's nice to meet you."

"My name's Chiyuki, it's a pleasure to meet you, Inoichi-san, Shi-shikaku-sama."

A second passes and both Choza and Inoichi burst out laughing. I feel my face getting hot, while the Nara clan head raises an eyebrow and looks at me curiously. People glance our way again, and I just know my brothers are gonna hear about this.

'Oh, just kill me now.'

Genma snorts next to me but wraps an arm around my shoulder, presumably to keep me from running away, and I frown up at him.

"Oh, she's a treasure! She used '-sama' with Shikaku! '-sama'!" The blonde man actually has tears in his eyes, leaning on Choza for support. "She's adorable. I want to kidnap her."

"You can't." Choza and Shikaku say at the same time, and I try to hide behind Gai.

"I did say you had a fan, didn't I?" Sensei turns to look at the Nara, his smile covering half of his face. Even Shikaku looks somewhat amused, although it's hard to say for certain.

"That you did." He says while still looking curiously at me, and I catch the cue to elaborate. Still half-hiding behind Gai, I glance at Choza-sensei, and finally answer after his nod.

"I admire the way you run things as a Jounin Commander. Ever since you took the position, everything's been flowing a lot more smoothly than before and there are far less incidents with missing mission scrolls and lost messengers. They are details that can consume a lot of time if not careful, and I respect you a lot for managing it so efficiently in such a short time."

Things get quiet once again and I feel my face burning up even hotter than before. Shikaku looks at me with zero emotions on his face, and a part of me starts to panic and wonder if I've offended him. Inoichi looks impressed and Choza-sensei just looks proud, so it might not have been that big of a miss.

...right?

"You were right, Choza." Shikaku finally says, still with an unreadable expression. Sensei hums, and the Nara continues. "They are kind of cute."

Genma lightly puts a hand over his face, muttering a quiet 'why me', while Gai exclaims he's not cute, he's a 'Green Beast of the Springtime of Youth!'.

"I look forward to working with you, kids. Just call me Shikaku, Chiyuki."

"Shikaku… -san."

"It's a start."

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The Konoha Police Force is actually something Tobirama came up with (kudos to him) in response to the increasing tension within the Uchiha clan and their displeasure with their treatment inside the village (nevermind, give me those kudos back).

As a result, the captain of the KPF has always been the Uchiha head, or someone of the main family with equal power. Very few people outside the clan can join the KPF, and they're always outstanding individuals from other ninja clans. As it's to be expected, there's a Nara, an Akimichi, and a Yamanaka, none of them are from the main families, but they're well-known ninja nonetheless. There are even two distant cousins of mine working there, although they're around their thirties and I don't see them a lot.

The police force is a good idea, there's no denying it. As a ninja village grows, you need someone to keep the order amongst civilians and shinobi alike, even though the most extreme cases do end up being judged by the hokage. The Nidaime was indeed a genius and there's no doubt he did a lot of good for the village, but giving the Uchiha the power to be oppressive in a place that doesn't quite love them is… dumb, to put it simply.

The building itself is made of dark wood, with the symbol for both the KPF and the Uchiha clan. There's a receptionist's desk, multiple desks behind it, and a closed door for what I assume is the captain's office.

"Excuse me. We're Team Choza, reporting in for our assignment at the Police Force." Genma's voice sounds smooth and relaxed as he introduces us to the two receptionists.

'Gotta be thankful for a reliable team leader… nevermind the fact I'm supposed to be over 30 years old.'

One of the men sitting at the receptionist's desk glances at us and nods, while the other doesn't even raise his head.

"The captain's expecting you."

As if on cue, the door in the back is opened by the man himself who silently walks over to us. People nod respectfully at him right and left, and something about him seems overly familiar.

"I'm Uchiha Fugaku. You may call me Fugaku-taicho. For the next three weeks, you'll learn how in-village security and investigation works. Civilian cases are far more common, but you might see a shinobi one as well. You'll be assigned to an officer and will assist them in their work. At the end of your assignment here, you'll write a report as well as go on patrol by yourselves."

The man is in his early twenties, like the current Ino-Shika-Cho trio and Inuzuka Mayu. He looked familiar before, but now I'm certain he's the father of two boys who are fundamental to the entire Naruto plot.

The monster is still quiet and doesn't give me the names of his children, even though I know it knows.

Uchiha Fugaku looks stern, certainly, but I think he's more of a no-nonsense person than an outright rude one. His uniform is impeccable and the man demands respect the moment he steps into a room.

'He actually reminds me of mother… perhaps that's why he isn't as intimidating as the rumours say.'

"...and Chiyuki-hime, you'll be accompanying me."

I feel every single pair of eyes in the room turn to look at me, and I refuse to blush or avert my eyes. This is a political move on his part, and I can't really blame him. He's looking out for his clan and the police force, and I'm unable to feel resentment.

'If I were in his place, I would've probably done the same.'

I nod at him, then at my teammates, and we all get right into work.

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Flowers slowly start to bloom here and there as winter gives way to spring. None of the newly appointed genin teams have been assigned many missions out of the village, but there's plenty to be done here. Merchants are the ones who've been requesting the most missions and actually making sure in-village economy doesn't collapse, and there's a newfound respect in me for them.

Most of the missions we run are, as one would expect, D-ranked. Every once in a while we get C-ranks, but with Choza-sensei having to spend more and more time out of the village, we don't get to do many of those.

"Chiyuki-hime, what a pleasant surprise. Are you here to see your father?" Sasakibe-oji's voice is as warm as ever when he greets me, even though he looks exhausted.

"No, Sasakibe-oji. Minato-sensei told me to meet him here after his debrief."

"Ah, is that so. I'm afraid he's just gone inside. Would you like to eat something while you wait? It might take a while."

"No, thank you. Is it okay if I just keep you company?"

"Most certainly. It sure reminds me of when you were but a toddler."

"Not you too, Sasakibe-oji." The man laughs quietly, and I take a moment to check out the bags under his eyes.

Being the hokage's secretary isn't a job for anyone, and I wonder if the kind man is getting paid enough.

'Kami knows he deserves it.'

"You just finished your assignment at the KPF, did you not?" I try my hardest not to flinch, but Sasakibe-oji's too smart to miss anything.

"I did. Fugaku-taicho is a responsible leader, and we learned a lot there. We even got to chase a thief." I comment, and even though there's curiosity in his eyes, he doesn't bite the bait.

"I see. What did you think of the officers?"

I sigh, thinking I might as well go for it. It's not like I'd be telling a lie, and there's only the two of us here.

"...sometimes they don't treat civilian cases as seriously as they do others, and it bothers me. If someone decided to look for the police, they've exhausted all other options and are desperate for a solution for their problem." I rant, pouting at the end.

Fugaku is an excellent captain, don't get me wrong. He's responsible and efficient, treating all the case with the same seriousness. He doesn't tolerate iddle chat or half-assed work, and he doesn't give out compliments like it's candy, but he does pay attention to his subordinates' needs and rewards those he deems worthy. The Uchiha clan head is a valuable ally of mine, political ass-kissing aside. The officers, on the other hand…

"One of them even tried to tell Gai to quit being a ninja." I cross my arms, my mood sour. Thankfully Gai had defended himself wonderfully, because if it'd been me, I'm sure it would've caused a scene.

'You know nothing about Gai, or Genma for that matter. You don't know how hard they train, or what they've been through.'

"Ah, so that's what happened." My father's secretary says, a satisfied look on his face.

"Pardon?"

"The Sandaime mentioned your sour mood these past few days, and I wondered if anything happened."

I shrug, letting my body sag into the chair.

"It made me upset. We're all supposed to be equals here, and civilian cases deserve to be treated with the same respect as shinobi ones."

The man hums, a twinkle in his pink eyes.

"I wholeheartedly agree with you, Hime."

We fall into a comfortable silence, and my thoughts start to wander.

I don't dare practice chakra manipulation in public, much less the Hokage Tower. Even though the monster inside my head has been oddly silent, it's still a place crawling with hums and screeches of iron. The fact that I can't sense a matching chakra signature just makes it worse, so I refrain from showing any abilities as much as possible. Instead, I meditate to pass the time, breathing in and out slowly as I focus on the air circulating in my lungs.

Some time later, the door to my father's office finally opens. Minato is the first to step out, and he gives me a small smile as a greeting. He looks tired, but fine otherwise.

'I wonder if he's getting enough sleep.'

Next are my father's old teammates and current advisors, Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura. I only met them formally once, but something in my gut tells me to be careful of them. I bow my head to them, and they nod back at me, disappearing down the corridor without a second glance.

As Minato approaches the secretary's desk, I go to meet him halfway. The door to the hokage's office remains open, and I'm about to comment on it when a man covered in bandages steps out.

He looks at me and the monster screeches, thrashing around inside my head while it wails.

'Stop. Stop!'

I vaguely see people rushing at me and I wonder who's yelling so loudly.

'Ah, my throat hurts.'

Minato's worried face comes into my field of vision and the man kneels in front of me.

'Huh? How odd. I wonder when did I kneel myself.'

There's a vague sting on my knees, but my head feels about to explode.

'Make it stop. Please, please make it stop.'

Hands desperately grab my face and the yelling stops.

'Ah, so I was the one who was screaming.'

I see people yet I don't see them. I hear voices but I can't comprehend them. The monster gets bigger and bigger, screeching all the while. It boils and simmers as it comes crashing down on me, roaring in my face.

It swallows me whole and explodes, and I crawl to the painless darkness.

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"...the seal… its job… needs… rest…"

"...fine… sleep…"

Sometimes I wake up and hear things. Then, I immediately fall back asleep and I can't tell how much time has passed and if I was dreaming or not.

"...Tsunade… seal…"

"...too much… yin…"

Every time it's a different voice, usually talking to another one. I get the feeling I know these voices, intimately so, but I always fall asleep before I can make sense of what's going on.

"...go home… shower…"

"...wake up... "

It feels as if I'm floating in the sky with my head stuffed with cotton. Sometimes I try to wake up properly, but then the headaches come back, and I decide it's not really worth it.

"...Jiraya… Minato…"

"...the seal… Kushina…"

Little by little, the voices become clearer each time I wake up, and I can hear more words. Sometimes the voices sound worried, sometimes they sound exhausted, and sometimes they sound pleading.

"Kakashi, I'm calling Mayu here… can't stay… a week…"

"Let him… Mayu said… ninken…"

Sometimes when I wake up, no one is speaking. I can't tell if it's because there's nobody here or if the demons inside their head are just too loud.

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'This feels different.'

I'm floating in an endless dark, but it's not the same kind as when you're asleep. I'm much more awake than I've been in a while.

'It's supposed to be different.'

The monster is in front of me, but it's shaped like a human. A brown haired, brown eyed human, average in every way.

'Are you…?'

'The monster? Yes. But I'm also you.'

I frown. The human is female in both physical appearance and voice, but we look nothing alike. The woman seems to be in her early twenties, a sad but pretty smile on her face.

'You were me, and I was you. Now, I make up a good portion of the yin chakra that's been giving you trouble. I'm sorry, but I can't help that.'

'The seal's supposed to be keeping you in shape.'

'Oh, it is. It's doing a splendid job. If it weren't, we wouldn't be talking this calmly right now.'

'So… why are we here?'

The woman smiles wider, but the sad tinge remains. She sits down and pats the space next to her.

'Come. I'll tell you the story you've been wanting to hear for years now.'

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Consciousness comes as fast as lightning. One moment, I'm sitting in the peaceful dark, listening to a tale of resentment and power but also of love and perseverance. The next, I'm wide awake, staring at my bedroom's ceiling.

"Easy there. You've been asleep for a month."

Pakkun's wrinkly face greets me with a whisper, and for the first time in years I feel truly free. The monster in my head is no more, and neither is the woman. Both of them are gone, leaving only a slight headache as a souvenir.

I feel a deeply woven chakra web around and inside my room, filling the room with protective chakra. The first ones I feel are, naturally, my brothers' and Kakashi, but there's traces of my parents' chakra, Minato and Kushina, Sasakibe-oji, Choza-sensei and my teammates, some of my relatives, and even Inoichi and Shikaku.

I snuggle deeper in the blankets, even though I'm parched. Kakashi and his ninken are all piled up in my bed next to me, as are Asuma and Tooru. Then, I grin.

'You better enjoy your last peaceful days, Danzo. I'm coming for your ass.'

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Constructive criticism is more than welcome, but if you're gonna be an asshole about it, then just don't bother.

Here's a question for you: if you were to rewrite Naruto, what's the first thing you'd change?