45

Chapter 45: From zeroNotes:

This chapter took a while, because I A) spent way too much time chatting on discord and B) was on vacation to celebrate my birthday!

Do you want to know what my birthday present was? Hard, menial labour in the garden. Yay! (And a book)

EDIT: 18.000 Hits! (and 444 Kudos)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 45

Subaru was frozen. It was as if his blood had turned into lead and his bones into stone. The whole world was spinning uncontrollably around him and he was stuck in the middle of it, helplessly watching.

He had already vowed to himself to reset this loop in order to save the villagers, but he had nonetheless hoped that he could make it out alive. Everything had gone – well, not good, but also not too bad. At least he had hope when he saw Tanya closing the distance between her and the carriage at incredible speeds.

Then out of nowhere she had been picked up and crushed! Emilia and Rem had both been ripped from her back and dangled in the air like puppets. His mouth was already open in a silent scream, but his despair suffocated any sound that he could have made as Tanya was thrown in his direction only to hit him full force squarely in the chest. Blood spluttered from her moth in alarming quantities and painted the right side of his face red (although he barely noticed that). He had to watch in detail how the cerulean energy in her big, expressive eyes dulled and her breathing stopped.

His head lifted like he was on autopilot to observe both the two most important people in life being torn to shreds mid air. Their bodies were twisted and bent in impossiple angles. Skin rippend and skeletons broke in the most vile ways. And he did nothing.

He could do nothing.

Only stare in absolute horror at the man who had stepped onto the dirt pathway and grinned in glee at the mess of flesh and bone he had created.

"Oi, why are you sitting there so unmoved? Why are you looking so slothful?"

He could only stare, because he was useless. He couldn´t have helped any of them. He had done nothing.

"No answer, mmmhh? The man besides you was clever enough to at least attempt an escape, futile as it will be once my loyal fingers capture him. We can´t leave witnesses after all, you see? Do you understand?"

Tanya was so much more powerful than him. Beatrice, Puck, Rem... They all were so much stronger – so much better – than him and even their efforts had obviously not been enough. What could he do to help? He was utterly useless.

Suddenly the man who had killed the love of his life in front of his eyes stood mere meters from him and was leaning forwards. How he had managed to cross the distance so quickly did not interest Subaru in the slightest. His eyes still stared unblinking and unseeing forwards.

"Mmmmhhh? Are you so trapped in your own pathetic grief that you cannot bring yourself to act? Hmhh? To squander the sacrifice of your compatriots uselessly... How disgusting..." the cultists hissed with contempt.

He was disgusting, wasn´t he? He had no chance to save those he cared about. Not all of them. Because he was a waste of skin. A true good-for-nothing. An absolute piece of shit.

"Are you blaming yourself for their demise? How strange... Instead of raging and protesting and fighting you sit here and wallow in your perceived pain. So sad, so weak, so SLOTHFUL!" he yelled directly in Subaru´s face. Spittle hit his cheek, but he made no move to clean it.

"I cannot understand that. However I know that your very existence is an insult to my diligence that I display every day to service my love!"

He was a disgrace.

"I will not suffer your wretched being any longer"

"Crunch"

And Subaru Natsuki died.

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"It´s sister!" cried a familiar voice.

Strange. Tanya had imagined the afterlife differently. Well, to be fair she had not expected anything to follow her death. Only endless nothingness and oblivion.

"I can feel her through our connection and she is... afraid."

What? What was happening?

She could feel the sunlight on her face and a cool breeze blowing over her skin. Everything felt so... real? And why was Rem here? Of all the people she had to put up with directly after losing her life it had to be the indirect reason for said loss. Typical.

"Ram is never afraid. Something terrible must have happened at the mansion."

WHAT? Tanya´s eyes shot wide open. She remembered those words. They were repeating!

On no.

Had Being X trapped her in purgatory; or whatever demented version of hell he had created for her? Was she damned to repeat the last moments of her existence for all eternity? Was this his sick punishment for not being a devoted little puppet to serve his every narcissistic desire? If so then she would not play to his petty revenge fantasy!

"Damn it!" she cursed.

Tanya looked around and saw that all eyes were on her. Crush and her army were watching with barely hidden interest and Subaru seemed to be in open shock.

"Again? That was the best you could come up with to torture me?" she asked exasperated.

They still stared at her like she was crazy.

"Umm... W-What?" said Rem. Subaru was gazing with strangely empty eyes at her.

That hadn´t happened before. They were supposed to be just apparitions of her subconscious to re-enact her last moments, were they not? Could she be misinterpreting the situation?

A terrifying thought wormed its way to the forefront of her mind: "What if this was reality?"

Oh...

However she couldn´t possibly prove that...

If this was real then she needed to act accordingly or else be labelled as a madwoman. After all this could be a ploy of Being X to drive her insane. If this was truly an illusion then she would need to find a way out if such an exit even existed. Before that however she would need to look like she was playing his stupid, little games to lull the bastard into a false sense of security.

Either way she needed to act normal. Did it even matter if this was reality or not if she could not distinguish it from the real world? As far as she knew this whole trip to Lugnica could all be a dream. Better play it safe.

"I apologize for my outburst. The fight against the White Whale has been demanding of me."

She had already proven that she was able to make small changes. Why not test how far the limits of this simulation went (if it was one).

"Rem I have reason to believe that the mansion is under attack by the witch´s cult. This is a problem to big for us to handle."

She turned to Crusch.

"Lady Crusch, as a fellow royal candidate for the throne of Lugnica I hereby formally request your aid in vanquishing the organization known as the witch´s cult and to protect the innocents of this country. Margrave Mathers has left his territory and is unable to protect the people under his care. It is now up to us to stand for order and justice wherever we find it lacking. Know that I will not think ill of you should you refuse, but that I would be overjoyed to receive your assistance. Furthermore, should you be interested in creating an alliance between our camps then I would be most excited for a conversation on the matter when we return to the capital. Let us engage in jolly cooperation."

The green-haired woman seemed to sink deep into thought and then looked back at her men.

"We had originally come here to rid the world of one evil. Now that we found it already defeated I don´t think we can return tonight without our blades serving our beloved nation in some other fashion. How could we permit the witch´s cult to go about their foul deed unpunished? What do you say my warriors? Do we spill their rotten blood and save our countrymen?"

"AHOOO!" roared her army in unison.

Tanya nodded in respect. It had been quite the inspiring speech. She herself had held many similar ones in the past. (Although instead of cultists they had slaughtered communists.)

"On foot or on ground dragon back we will not be fast enough. Follow the road towards Irlam village and be prepared for possible ambushes. I am going to fly ahead to delay them as long as possible."

"Let´s see if I can change things from last time... What will you do then Being X? I won´t play by your rules asshole. You´ll never break me." she thought to herself vengefully.

Notes:

If anybody wants to talk about Youjo Senki or Re:zero or just life in general hit me up on https://discord.gg/BwFe2fuf