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Chapter 49: Confession cut shortNotes:

I´m back! I will not lie and say that I have a good excuse, but I was preparing some interesting things behind the scenes in my absence...

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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 49

Rem turned her head to watch the small army riding behind her carriage. Most of Lady Karsten´s men had been ordered to return to the capital with her while only a dozen stayed with their liege. Master Roswaal would hopefully forgive her that she had let these invaders trespass on his land unpunished. The lives of the villagers and her sister were more important than honour in her opinion.

Lady Tanya was fast asleep in the carriage with Subaru watching over her. Ram would have certainly objected to leaving a young maiden alone with a fool like "Barusu" as she affectionately called him, but Rem knew that he had a far too pure heart to try anything untoward. Her sister generally placed not much trust in her hero, now that she thought about it. Although, despite all her demeaning jokes and insults she held no real hatred for Subaru and Rem could sometimes even feel a certain fondness for the boy through their telepathic link.

Speaking of Subaru she had no real time to worry about him until now, but there was definitely something wrong with hero. He had suddenly gone silent and was almost completely unresponsive. From one moment to the other he had changed his whole demeanour and it frightened her? What pained him so? What could cause her love so much suffering?

Lady Tanya had earlier been able to help him when he gotten into a panic episode (which only made Rem slightly jealous). His voice had been too quiet to understand most of the conversation, but she was sure that he had some sort of magical ability he had not told anyone about. Perhaps something similar to her sister´s clairvoyance? How else could he have predicted that they would meet the White Whale?

She hoped with all her heart that she could find a way to ease his suffering. No... she would! He had risked his live for hers and she would give her own in return if she had to! Ram would be sad, but when she found love the way Rem had she would understand.

For now though she had to steer the coach and keep an eye out for Lady Karsten´s men if they tried to stab them in back.

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Tanya awoke a few hours later groggily and with aching limbs from the uncomfortable rest on a bench that was normally just used for sitting. Her mana reserves had refilled themselves more than half-way which officially made her combat ready. Unofficially she felt like shit. She was hungry and covered in dried blood. So it was a more or less usual work day for her.

She stretched her stiff joints and rubbed her arms to get the blood flowing before treating herself to a strip of dried meat that she had stowed away in her pocket. Its time in out in the open had made it flavourless and hard, but she didn´t mind. After all, most of the food at the eastern front had been worse.

Only when she had thoroughly cleaned her teeth from leftover meat did she look over at her companion inside the cabin who was blankly staring at his lap. She frowned.

"Subaru, what is it? Why are you looking so down? I defeated the witch´s cultists. Emilia and Ram are safe for now. Everything is going fine. You weren´t this gloomy the last time."

Oops. Tanya wanted to slap herself for letting that piece of information slip. Her time loop had given her much information about this world and raised many more questions. She wasn´t even sure if she was not just hallucinating all of this right now!

He looked up at her, but his eyes were clouded in a way that reminded her of that one young officer at the Rhine front who broke down after two months of service and hung himself in the crew quarters. While most people would describe that as tragic she had only contempt for that waste of a man.

Instead of dealing with his emotional problems in a mature way he had sought the easy way out. At least he could have led a suicide charge at the Francois trenches and serve his fatherland with his last moments. Then she wouldn´t have had to write a letter to his family detailing his end in a suitably tactful and discreet manner. (It had cost her a good night´s sleep and that was more than his miserable existence had been worth.)

What could have broken Subaru to the core? Which recent event could have traumatized him so much?

Tanya replayed the incidents of the last few hours in her head.

The fight with the whales...

The ambush on the road...

Her meeting with Petelgeuse...

How he killed her and probably her allies as well...

Wait a minute...

Subaru had talked about dying a few days ago. In his "vision" before her battle against the White Whales he had also only managed to foresee events until the point of his demise. He possessed knowledge he should not have access to and was a newcomer to this world just like her. He had never directly confirmed the exact the specifics of his strange ability to see the future, but the theory that began to form in her head seemed the most likely.

Ockham´s razor said that the simplest answer was the most likely one.

The coincidences were just too great.

Subaru almost certainly possessed the capability of rewinding time in case of his death.

Just like she had done.

If this was a reliable skill and not a one-time phenomenon then that made him potentially the most dangerous person in this world for Tanya. A potential enemy who could break time itself and discover all her future plans was an insurmountable obstacle. So it was now more important than ever to keep him close and forge a positive relationship with the boy. Despite all the trouble the irresponsible margrave had put her in she was thankful to have made an alliance with the Emilia camp so soon.

Nonetheless did Tanya need to confirm if her theory was correct before she could begin with making strategies to counter Subaru´s "reset". Should she just ask him?

If Subaru hadn´t already figured out that she shared his gift (curse?) by her different behaviour compared to the last loop then he discover it with time. The longer she waited to admit her own powers, the less probable it was that he would trust her after that. Most humans were irrational enough to misinterpret the withholding of information as a sign of disdain or ill-intent.

Giving away info that he maybe already knew would serve to make her appear more honest and open without costing her anything. And more importantly, by dictating the terms of their conversation she would remain in control and dissuade him from spreading her secrets uncontrollably.

She raised a sound suppressant barrier inside the cabin with a stray thought before yelling:

"Subaru! Focus on me!"

When his eyes stayed unfocused she reacted instinctively and slapped him. Hard.

"Aghhh... why?" he muttered dumbfounded. The light was returning to his eyes at the very least.

"Subaru! I need you to listen to me closely."

She leaned forward and looked him deep into the eyes.

"Have you ever died and returned to a point in time before that?"

"W-Wha... H... How..."

While that was not really an answer it confirmed her suspicions.

"You did. I know that because it happened to me too just a few hours ago."

"B-But... I... I... I CAN RETURN BY DEATH!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Tanya was glad she had magically soundproofed the carriage before this conversation. Else the blue maid and her useless bodyguards would now be privy to strategic information of immeasurable value.

Subaru seemed to wait for something as he looked around him. Strange. She would ask later.

"Yes."

Tanya tried her best empathetic voice paired with the saddest smile she could muster.

"It must have been hard to carry such a burden. All alone, right? You could not tell anybody about this, am I correct?"

Tears were welling up in his eyes and he wordlessly shook his head.

Good. This knowledge needed to be kept secret lest the whole world would be gunning for their heads. Turning back time was a boon greater than all riches of the earth and a weapon deadlier than a nuclear missile in the right hands. Naturally she intended for those hands to be only her own. She herself was the only one that she could trust with this power. It was for the best of both her and the boy if no living soul ever caught wind of this.

"I only experienced coming back to life once" she lied smoothly, "so I can´t say I know how terrible it must have been for you, but I am always willing to listen. Together we can maybe-"

Suddenly the coach stopped moving. The sound suppressing barrier worked both ways so she had no idea what was going on outside. She smiled apologetically at Subaru and motioned that they would continue their exchange later.

When she dispersed her formula and stretched her neck to look out the window she saw a tall man clad in white robes standing in the middle of the road.

Rem was shouting: "Move! Step aside or we will make you!"

"Hey, hey, hey! There is no need for hostilities! I am just a traveller upon the road. Are you usually this insensitive to peaceful innocents you come across?" replied the stranger.

"No, but you are blocking our way. We are travelling urgently."

"Yes I am too. Do I not have the same right as you to traverse this road? Are you denying my right for a nice summer stroll? My right to move freely through this supposed free country? Do you truly call me less than a human being by denying me the simplest rights?"

The weirdly white man continued to ramble on and Tanya lost her patience. On some level she could understand – appreciate even – a citizen standing up for their rights, but this was too much. The needs of the many outweighed that of the few. He was holding up their journey for no good reason, because he wouldn´t move despite being able to without effort.

A quick look behind her confirmed that Crusch´s warriors were watching so she would have to solve the issue peacefully.

"I am deeply sorry to interrupt you good sir, but I fear you might be misconstrue our intentions. We meant no slight against your person, but simply wanted to convey to you that we cannot move ourselves so it would be prudent if you could vacate the street, allowing us both to go our marry way."

Her stilted way of speaking had been chosen to communicate with the obvious lawyer more seamlessly. The man knew his rights and would hopefully adhere to common logic.

"While it was indeed rude to interrupt me I forgive you this once for being relatively courteous."

He did not move.

"Then would you kindly step to the side? Your time is surely as precious as ours."

This time she couldn´t fully hide the annoyance in her tone.

"Yes, my time is most sacred and valuable, but I have not only come here for a walk. I am on a mission of the utmost importance! I would not have left my home and my wonderful wives for anything less. You wouldn´t happen to be Tanya von Degurechaff, would you?"

Instantly she was on high alert. Was this a trap? An assassination attempt? A messenger?

"Why yes? And what would you do if I were this person?" she asked appearing totally unconcerned on the outside while reading a dozen combat formulae in her head.

"Oh, well. I do not think your likes deserve to hear this, but I am a most generous person and will let you partake in the honour of knowing my name. I am Regulus Corneas, sin archbishop of the witch's cult representing greed."

Oh fuck this.

Not again!

Notes:

Her luck is really terrible. Or is it? Stay tuned... hehehe