62

Chapter 62: Annoying interruptionsNotes:

Pandora <3

Better late than never hehe

Chapter Text

Chapter 62

Indulgently Tanya put on her best customer service smile in hopes that remaining civil would expedite this farce. With any luck this strange guy would leave her to her meal if she appeased his meaningless desires a bit.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Milady, you should still be in bed! The evening winds are rather chilly and you might catch a cold! Also... What happened to your clothes, if I may be so forward to ask?"

Ah, he meant the heat insulating shell around her.

"Simple magic. Anyways, I am feeling totally fine, thank you very much for checking up on me... er... What was your name again?"

He looked gravely stricken by her question for some reason and the other spectators seemed to mirror his shock.

"I am your knight, Reinhard van Astrea, Milady..."

"Uh, yes, Reinhard. I am also quite famished, so I would appreciate it if you could convince these fine gentlemen here-" she gestured at the guards "- that I am indeed invited to this party and let me pass. You do have a buffet here right?"

Tanya turned towards the green-haired woman with a raised eyebrow.

"...Yes?"

"Is that a question?"

"N-no?"

"That also sounds like a question. Oh, well... Civilians are really good for nothing."

A fiery blush of indignant rage rose to the woman's cheeks which made her appear adorable more than anything.

"I am not a civilian! I am a duchess and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I would be positively thrilled to listen to your elaborate backstory, but only after I have found myself some good curry or even better... a roasted duck!"

With those words that promised enough culinary delight to make her mouth water, Tanya strode off in the direction of the most noise.

"Milady, please wait!"

Reinhard was by her side in a heartbeat which startled her enough to reach for a gun that was not there.

"Oh? You know where the food is handed out?"

In a place that looked as wealthy as this one, meals were probably not being distributed like in the refectory of a barrack, but old habits were hard to shake.

"Unfortunately no, but if it is hunger that plagues you then we should return home. I will have a feast prepared for you with anything you could want!"

"While that may be a certainly convincing argument..." she rubbed her chin in exaggerated thought, drawing amusement from the crimson-haired man's hopeful expression. "I will have to decline. I am hungry right now and I am sick of waiting."

Flying off as fast as she could she rounded another corner and entered a large room, crowded with stereotypically fancy-garbed nobles. Tanya hung in the air for a few seconds, surveying the battlefield from above. Instantly all eyes turned towards her. She had no idea why, although the blindingly sparkling magical shield might have something to do with it.

Locating and locking onto her target was easy enough, as the servants who were making their rounds through the crowd laden with trays had to come from somewhere. Like a bird of prey she swooped down and elegantly landed before a distinguished looking butler in an impeccable suit. Judging from his posture and general demeanour she identified him as the one in charge.

"Greetings, would you mind showing me the buffet? It is urgent."

Not really, but it never hurt to pressure the customer service a minuscule bit to speed up the process.

"Milady, we were told you were sick. Should you not be resting presently?"

"Ugh, this Reinhard fellow said the same, but I don't want to sleep! Now, please do as I ask or I will have to resort to violence. This is my dream and I right about had it with people telling me what to do and don't do in my own imagination!"

Honestly, despite her lack of weaponry Tanya was somewhat itching for a little fight. It wasn't as if she could die here or anything, so the experience would be more akin to a... what was it called again? Ah, a 'VR video game'!

Also, why was this catgirl grinning at her like she just told a hilarious joke? This wasn't funny!

"Lady Degurechaff, you are mistaken. This is no dream. In fact, everything you see is quite real. Perhaps you are coming down with a fever..."

"Okay, spare me this tripe. You are an illusion and lying about that won't change it. Last time I checked-" Tanya pointedly stared at the giggling catgirl "- animal people did not exist. Which horny bastard even came up such a retarded idea in the first place? Simply slapping animal parts onto normal humans doesn't make sense at all! I like to think that my subconscious would be more creative or put some more thought into what is biologically viable and was it not, but as usual I get disappointed. Now, have you finally decided to help me, Mr. 'I'm-a-real-person'? Because if not I will have to find someone else and afterwards I am going to have a stern word with your employer."

Wagging her finger threateningly at the old man had not the intended effect as he committed the worst sin any service provider could perform: He ignored her in favour of someone else.

"That would be me."

A tired sigh left Tanya's lips as she turned around to find the same green-haired woman from earlier standing there next to Reinhard with her hands indignantly resting on her hips. Of course these nuisances would continue to bother her!

"Enough! I swear I'm gonna lose it soon..." she hissed out between her teeth in frustration. "Reinhard if you are going to run after me like a dog after a stick then make yourself at least useful and get me something to eat! You are supposed to be my bodyguard or retainer or whatever."

He looked apprehensive for a moment before he relented and hurried away with a murmured "Yes, Milady."

Nice. What a good dog. Now onto the next problem at hand:

"Why are you insulting my confidants?" glared that obnoxious Crusch woman.

"I have no clue what you're talking about. It's not my fault that Being X was so uncreative when he designed this fantasy world. Honestly, what are you even supposed to represent? With that silly uniform dress... Mmh... Some twisted ghost of my time as a soldier perhaps? Assuming that all of this even has a meaning of course..."

Ha! The face that she was making was too precious!

"Please compose yourself, Tanya! You aren't acting like yourself at all! Stop this mockery before the damage to your reputation becomes irreversible!"

She wanted to retort, but the young mage was promptly interrupted by the oddest voice she had ever heard.

"Hahaha! Bravo! Bravo! Whooooo would have thooought that we would be treated to suuuuch a spectacle! The hero whom we owe this wooooonderful festival has graaaaced us with a most excellent surprise! Why, I am compleeeeetely floored by your performance, Laaaaady Tanya!"

That uncomfortably exaggerated manner of speaking belonged to a tall man who was literally dressed and made up like a clown. A purple suit, comically tiny top hat and overblown smile completed his absurd look. Although, why was this look so... familiar?

"Taste is apparently one of those commodities money cannot buy..." she quipped to drive away the slight hint of unease which scratched at the back of her brain.

If the colourfully dressed man was offended by her words then he did not show it on his face, for the amused glint in his mismatched eyes never wavered.

"Ha! You woooound me Lady Tanya! Aaaall Mathers heirs have dressed this way for centuries!"

"I am sorry to hear that." Tanya told him with a perfectly straight face.

"My, perhaaaaps you slew the White Whale with your words and nooooot your sword..."

"I am many things, but sailor or whaler has certainly not been among them."

"Alright, I can't... I... Hahaha! This is too funny! Hahaha!" interjected the slightly androgynous catgirl who had been standing nearby and was now wiping tears from her face. "I am sorry Crusch... Hahahaha! But this... Haha! This is just hysterical! Old Man, bring Subaru over here, please. He is gonna... Hahaha! Get a kick out of this!"

"I am unsure if this would be wise-"

"Go on Wilhelm. What's done is done. There can't be any harm in letting him participate in this tragedy. Maybe he will make her remember." ordered Crusch with quiet resignation.

Meanwhile Tanya only wondered when Reinhard would finally return. If he could keep up with her flight over the city then he must be fast enough to fill a reasonably sized platter with food by now. Well, she shouldn't expect consistency from dream logic.

As proven by the fact that the boy being escorted by the butler looked remarkably Asian compared to the more western appearances of the inquisitively staring aristocrats.

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Subaru had felt dread from the instant when the blinding silver light entered the corner of his vision. Surprises like that were rarely a good thing in his immortal opinion. Unexpected events often led to his imminent demise after all. In a burst of courage he had placed himself in front of Emilia, trying to shield her from the levitating human-shaped disco ball. This could have been an assassination attempt or something equally sinister and she was the most likely candidate.

Emilia though apparently knew more about what was happening and thanked him earnestly with that precious smile of hers for acting so quickly in her protection. Puck probably warned her with his spirit cat senses, despite not visibly appearing once.

At the moment the shiny figure had vanished in the crowd and due to a distinct lack of mayhem and screaming, Subaru assumed that everything was going peacefully. Still, he couldn't help but feel unnerved by the mysterious, flying Silver Samurai cosplayer.

The whispered conversation he was half-heartedly listening to stilled as he noticed Wilhelm's impressive stature looming over him. Subaru was both impressed and intimidated by how a man well past his prime could be so damn strong and sneaky at the same time.

"Please come with me, young man. Lady Tanya is awaiting you."

"Me? Tanya?" he asked in confusion.

Wordlessly the white-haired butler nodded and led him back to where he came from. Emilia followed dutifully behind, so Subaru had no choice but to tag along as well. 

Most people inside the hall had congregated into a loose ring around where the person (who was presumably Tanya) had descended, their eyes fixed in the direction of its centre. Half pushing, half squeezing himself through the mass of murmuring nobles, he was ultimately able to see what all this fuss was about.

There indeed waited Tanya, only her usually attentive and composed demeanour was replaced with open boredom and disdain. She looked far more like the insufferable Priscilla Barielle whom Emilia had described in detail.

Trying to ease the tension with a friendly greeting he waved: "What's up, Tanya? Nice dress, by the way."

When the frigid weight of her ice-cold gaze hit him, Subaru nearly took a step backwards in fright.

"Am I also supposed to recognize you? Let me guess... You want to tell me that you are my brother? No? My long lost childhood friend or similar sentimental nonsense?... Don't look so surprised! I have already seen through this whole sham, so you won't surprise me with such petty lies."

"Ehhhm... Wha-..." he answered eloquently.

"She thinks we are in a dream!" snickered Felix from his right.

"But... Ah..."

Subaru looked back towards his blond friend in order to make sure that the catg-, eh, cat boy was speaking the truth. Tanya's mask of stoic disinterest undeniably confirmed the theory. His mind desperately scrambled to come up with a solution to this conundrum.

"Is she... sick? Can't you... I don't know... heal her or something?"

"Afraid not. I can mend the body, but not the psyche." replied the healer, suddenly dead serious.

"Roswaal… Do you have any idea how to…"

The eccentric magician merely shook his head, observing the scene in silence.

"Ehm, ok... Say, Tanya... You really don't recognize me? You know, I'm the guy who travelled with you in the same carriage... White Whale? Witch Cult? Doesn't ring a bell?"

Her glare uncomfortably reminded him of Ram after her sister... "No, Subaru! Focus!"

Grasping for straws he decided to mention their darkest secret: "Why? Tanya... Don't you remember what we discussed together? About Return by D- Ungh! Damn it!"

As usual, squeezing agony flooded his chest when he talked about his curse in the presence of other people. However what he had not anticipated was for her to also grip the flesh over heart in obvious pain. Progress!

"How did you-"

"We both come from a different world! This is not a fantasy! I promise! It is terribly real!"

Anxiously he waited for any sort of reaction that would confirm that the one person in existence who could understand his suffering was not gone. How bitterly ironic that just when Subaru believed to have found a reliable ally, fate itself would turn against him and rob him of this little source of relief.

Before Tanya could fully open her mouth to answer the unspoken question that was burning his heart, a crimson-haired knight gently laid his gloved hand on her shoulder.

"Milady, dinner has been prepared in the Blue Suite."

Immediately the growing spark in her eyes dimmed and her stomach audibly rumbled. All attention to him vanished as she licked her lips and vanished without paying him a second glance.

"Fuck!"