Chapter 8: A little talk

Iamnotafriad - Feedback from both Queen Administrator being interrupted, and because mental whiplash from going from going from detached and machine like to being a normal human being.

Redburn - I don't know. Maybe in the future, but I don't think so. Involving Paradox means involving the Ben 10 universe, which I don't want to do considering Azmuth would most likely be against me having an Ultimatrix, and that'd be a whole plotline I'd rather not think about atm.

Draco - For the feedback see first response. Anyway, my mom had me in high school, she had my first sister 7 years after that in her 20's, and she had my most recent sister a few years ago... So... She aged? I don't see how that confused you. Secondly, Jetray's the fastest flier in the series, I'm pretty sure of that, and SS lost an arm because an irritated person doesn't exactly think of toning back anything. Jetray's beams CAN be used to knock people out, but they also hurt other aliens, so they're something that's got levels of intensity that were ignored when used against Sophia.

Waking up, the first thing I felt was hungry. My stomach was practically punching me to get me to go eat.

The second thing I felt was something breathing onto my neck. I was tempted to just ignore it, maybe force myself back asleep, but my stomach wasn't having it, and gurgled at me like some demon from the pits of hell. (Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you?!) I didn't get an answer, and just mentally sighed before opening my ey...- I took a second to recognize what I was seeing, then nodded. (Okay, well this is happening.)

I remembered that I collapsed into my bed a few... Hours ago? I wasn't sure what time it was, but hours sounded like a good bet. Anyway, at some point in time, I must've rolled onto my side, something Taylor must've done at some point too considering we were facing each other, her head in the crook of my neck, arms wrapped around each other... And a leg too if the limb locked against one of my own legs was anything to go by... (Well shit... I'm stuck... Is she always this, or is it just because of what happened earlier?) My stomach did not appreciate my predicament as much as I did, so now I was stuck between a rock and a hard place... I was going to ignore the unintended pun.

That aside, I had three options here.

The first one was to wake up Taylor so she could free me from her grasp... Which I didn't actually want to leave because I was still tired, the echo of my headache was still annoying me, it was a dull ache now, and I liked how comfortable I was at the moment.

The second option was to change into one of my small aliens and weasel my way out of her grip... That'd probably end up waking her up, so it'd be counter productive. (Plus, she isn't a morning person, so if I wake her up with a bright ass flash of green light I'm gonna get Swarmed.)

Third option was to do nothing and try to go back to sleep... But because of my aforementioned organ, that idea didn't seem like a good idea. So there I was, no idea what I should do to go and get some food.

I thought about it, my hunger and my tiredness acting like an angel and devil on my shoulders, and groaned when I realized my choice was going to be taken from me. I felt Taylor's mind start to stir, and watched as she started to move. Her thoughts slowly whirled to life, and I smiled at her first thought. Warm. Considering one of us kicked the blanket away, I had no idea who, and that she was practically burrowing into me, the only and best source of warmth was coming from me. Taylor groaned, shifting around as her thoughts picked up. Too loud.

A mental snort was my immediate response, while my next one was to poke her in the side. "Boop." She was already waking up, so I had nothing to lose speeding it up. Taylor groaned, Irritation bleeding through as she shifted some more. Though since she didn't wake up, I kept going and poked her in the back. "Hey. Hey you. Hey, listen. H...-" Taylor's mind kicked into gear, Annoyance and Irritation making me pause.

Her head peered out from the crook of my neck, eyes shooting open as dull green(I know she's supposed to have brown eyes I just don't care) orbs glared into my emerald ones. "Phoenix, I will HURT you if you poke me again." She practically growled at me, and I realized I might've gone a little too far. Her eyes narrowed, and I got worried. "Mhm." VERY worried.

The two of us stared at each other for a bit, not sure what to d...- She shifted a bit more and ended up brushing against my obvious hard on. Taylor blinked, then started looking at the position we were in... And given the spike of Embarrassment and small spark of Interest, she realized what it looked like, her face starting to burn red. And of course, me being me, I decided to take the chance I was given. "Does that one count?"

The expected sounds of thousands of bugs crawling and buzzing didn't come, instead Taylor looked back to me, and stared at me again... I just stared back, not sure what was go...- The wave of Regret hit me like a brick to the head. "I'm sorry."

My eyes softened, and I brought Taylor close. She didn't fight it, and that was a good thing. "While you DID mess up, going alone, not letting me know what you were doing, or even waking me up," Each point made her flinch, but I did my best to let Comfort and Understanding flow across the bond. "I get it Taylor. We live together, we eat together, we spend time together, we're Bonded with each other... But it hasn't really sunk in that we're IN THIS together. Years of loneliness and isolation trumps a month of cohabitation." I idly thanked XLR8 and Brainstorm for those realizations.

I could tell they were working too because Taylor started shaking, Loneliness and even some Depression oozing from her. "Y-You're trying though... I'M trying... We're getting better!" She buried her head further into my neck. "We are... I am... Right?" Sighing, I rubbed her back, and took not of a specific part of her back that made her shiver in a good way.

That was for later though. "We are. I'm not as apathetic or lazy as I used to be, their still there though, and I'm still an asshole too, but getting better." My other half let out a weak chuckle at that. "Meanwhile you're open with me, you talk like a normal human being, and you snark and backtalk me something fierce." The small wave of Self Deprecation caught me off guard.

Looking down, all I was met with was her hair. "Only with you though...I don't think I can just deal with new people."

"Ah..." I got that. "I'll probably default back to my normal self too when it comes to some random people or when we make allies." I took in the way Taylor seemed to shrink, but kept going. "But that doesn't matter." I felt her perk up, and knew she was listening. "The only opinions that really matter are your own, because at the end of the day, the only person that you know will look out for you is yourself." I paused, remembering the big thing here. "Mine too, cause, ya know, Death do us part and all that."

Throughout the whole time I was talking, Taylor was focused on me and taking in what I was saying... But that last bit threw her for a loop if the Embarrassment, Longing, Exasperation, and hint of Humor were anything to go by. |You're an idiot, you know that? You just told me I wasn't alone, then told me no one else mattered, THEN said only you did.|

I grinned, internally snickering at the way she was ignoring the marriage vow. [Yes, but you're stuck with me so get used to it.] I felt her relax, and I was tempted to say something else, but then my stomach decided to take matters into its own hands and gut punch me. "Oh fuck." Philosophy didn't satiate my hunger apparently. Though, given I hadn't eaten anything after waking up, only to freak the fuck out after the whole thi...- A burst of Alarm shot through the Bond, and I froze.

Taylor's head whipped up towards me, eyes wide and a feeling of Urgency coming off of her. "Phoenix," I didn't like that tone. "You're not supposed too." Ah... "What happened before you brought me back?" I wanted to lie here, the truth would just make her guilty... But seeing the way she narrowed her eyes at me, I knew I'd probably get bitten or something if I lied. "That's..." Maybe later? Well that was a thing appar...- "Just shut up and tell me."

Huffing, I bit the bullet. "Well, after I woke up and remembered what today was supposed to be, I checked my Alerts. Said Alerts let me know someone hadn't woken me up when she went out for rabbit season, then I started to freak out since you were going all 'Resting Bitch', because that never ends well, and I made a mad dash for my suit." She blinked, and I realized that she hadn't seen said suit... I'd do that later. "Anywaaay, I get said suit on, ported over to the Bay, and brought you back... Then I went back, blasted Sophia's arm off, and watched her get cuffed... So unless the PRT is incompetent enough to lose a one armed and unconscious brat, then she's in their custody." Meeting the unamused gaze of my other half, I sighed. "And I may have skipped breakfast to get to you, and lunch/dinner since I passed out after getting back."

The wave of Guilt was expected, and I wanted to say something about that, but my stomach rumbled, another wave of Guilt crashing into Taylor as she looked away, trying to unhook her arms and leg from me. Keyword was 'Trying' since I stopped her. Tired and hungry as I was, I still had stronk man muscles. She tried to squirm, to break out of my hold, but I just kept her h...- She looked at me, an annoyed twitch in her eye as she shunted most, if not all, of her more negative emotions into her Swarm. "I'm not running away you goof. I'm going to make you something to eat. We can keep talking about this when you're not hungry."

I blinked, then slowly nodded. "You sure? I'm comfy right now."

She looked away, a small blush on her cheeks as I felt Affection pulse from her. "I'm sure... You'd probably make me sit down and talk anyway." She was right, and if it wasn't base me, then XLR8 me would do it... Or Brainstorm... Grey Matter too probably... Huh... Taylor's lips twitched, and I knew something was coming from how Amused she was."It says something that you need to be smarter to recognize that talking about feelings is a healthy thing." The hypocrisy was strong with this one. She huffed at that.

That got her an eye roll. "Smart words coming from someone in tickle range." I watched as her eyes went wide, and she slowly paled. My grin grew, though I shuddered when she brushed up against junior again... Then it was my turn to pale when Taylor looked at me, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Oookay, you're free to go." And so I let go, no way was I going to let junior fight a threat he wasn't ready for.

A soft scoff reached my ears, and I didn't need to see her to know my partner was grinning.

After we got out of bed, I managed to walk instead of stagger around, we made our way to the kitchen. I'd wanted to help with the cooking, though Taylor kicked me out and told me that since 'I got you into that mess, I'm making it right', and also to 'Go brush your teeth, you're breath stinks.' So I went off to my bathroom, did the things, then back to the living room and waited for her to finish cooking whatever it was that she was making.

While she did that, I sank into the bean bag chair I'd dropped into, and we talked while she did her thing. We were avoiding the issue until after I'd eaten, or had started to eat, and just talked about whatever came to mind. I was indulging her since she was in a 'Healthy' mindset, her negative emotions would be shunted to her Swarm, so I had an unburdened Taylor to talk too, and it was interesting to get a glimpse of what a healthy Taylor looked like.

Our current conversation was one that highlighted that. |Still, I don't really get the whole breasts vs ass debate... Cause, ya know, I don't have either. So, thoughts?| It was amusing that she said that without an ounce of self deprecation, just citing a fact.

Looking towards the kitchen, and ignoring my grumbling stomach, I raised a brow, even though she wouldn't see it. [Well first off, you don't exactly have much at the moment, but that'll probably end up changing based on our training and diet plans.] I snorted when she sent me the image of her flipping me off. [Secondly, while I don't exactly get the debate either, I remember getting dragged into it a few times back home.] And I did. One of the annoyances of being befriended by an extrovert was that if THEY were in a conversation, YOU were in the conversation whether you wanted to be in it or not.

My partner/friend snorted in the kitchen. |And? What side were you on?|

Shrugging I answered. [At the time, tits. No real explanation for it, just that it was what I liked at the time.]

|Mhm. At the time?|

Humming, I sent the image of a 'So-so' gesture. [I still appreciate em, but not as much as before... It's like candy.] I could feel the Confusion, so I elaborated. [Nice to have in the moment, something I'll probably think about later, but easy to live without.]

Taylor paused, then I heard her steps coming towards the living room. Since I was still facing the kitchen, I got to see her stick her head out of the doorway, a single brow raised. "What the fuck... Just... What the fuck?"

I snorted. "It works, doesn't it?"

"Well... Yeah, but who compares breasts to candy?" I immediately thought of making a comparison to a nipple and a lollipop, which made Taylor blush.

Pointing my thumb at myself, I grinned. "This guy!" She stared at me for a few seconds, her cheeks still a little red, then rolled her eyes as she turned back to the kitchen. This is my idiot... Great. "You know you love me!"

|Whatever helps you sleep at night.| Oh I had ammunition locked and loaded for that one. |Don't you da...-|

[Having a cute woman in my bed did wonders for my exhaustion.] Another record being scratched went off in my mind, and I cackled... Then the Hornets buzzed, and I hit the dial, having it popped just for this moment. "Ampfibian!" I went intangible and committed to a tactical retreat.

She'd let me know when the food was done.

After finishing the All American breakfast I'd just had, breakfast at 2 in the morning was a strange but funny thing, I only had one thought as I helped bring the dishes back to the kitchen. "... Marry me." Taylor tripped, and I caught her by the scruff of her neck like a cat, the dishes safe in my off hand.

The pulse of Embarrassment, Exasperation, and Affection that hit me made me smile, a smile that grew as I saw Taylor blush a bright red and look away. "You don't just say shit like that to somebody..."

I laughed, helping her up. "In the words of Brainstorm, you're my 'Bonded Potential Mate', therefore not 'Somebody.'" The 'glare' she gave me was fucking adorable, and I poked her cheeks.

It was worth getting my finger bit in response.

After that we both took our time with the dishes, thoughts and conversation slowing down as we both realized we were going to be addressing the whole situation soon. On my end I wasn't really that mad or annoyed, it was something that happened, and as long as it didn't happen again, I didn't mind... Which was the story of my life really. Something happens and 'I don't mind', and keep going on with my life.

Taylor, even though she was shunting emotions into the Swarm, was nervous. A month living with someone when you're both in each other's head makes it easy to read them, and I could tell she didn't want to talk about it... Which was too bad because it was still going to happen.

It had to happen really, the whole point of 'Getting better', was about not doing things that were considered unhealthy. And leaving an issue where one of us just heads out for some kinda revenge play after going through something that reminded her of her Trigger Event sounded unhealthy as fuck. (Though to be fair, we haven't exactly talked about our issues specifically. We just brushed them aside and pretended they weren't a thing.) That probably didn't help.

We both knew we'd have to talk about not only said issues in general, but this whole thing too. The fact that Taylor was still attempting to go through with it and talk took balls though, so that earned her some respect. I couldn't see myself doing this pre XLR8, so it just re affirmed the fact she was more mature then I was. Sure, she was cheating by shoving her negative emotions into her Swarm, but since it wasn't everything, I could still read her well enough, and knew that she did want this, she just didn't like it.

Anyway, I dropped back into the bean bag chair I was in earlier, while Taylor sat on the couch. There was an awkward silence, neither of us really knowing how to start this... That, and my other half hadn't finished going back to normal yet.

It was a few minutes later, the constant buzzing of insects dying down after she stopped using them as her outlet, when she spoke up. "I'm sorry..." Her thoughts were racing, and I knew that wasn't the end of it, so I stayed quiet so she could talk. "It's... I just..." Though I did send Comfort and Calm towards her, helping her calm down and earning me a shaky smile. A breath later, and she nodded. "I wasn't thinking. I was watching the news, two of The Bitches were arrested, Blackwell too, but Sophia was on the run. I thought she'd get away and just reacted." She huffed. Did more then just that too... Shaking the thought off, she went on. "I just... I wanted to do it right... I wanted something to go right..."

Tilting my head at that, I thought about what meant... And blinked. (Next time she goes through a traumatizing experience, I'm shooting coffee in my veins and talking things out.)

What? My eyes landed on Taylor, who just looked at me like I was stupid. "Alright, first of all, why are you assuming something like this is going to happen again?" To that I raised a brow, and reminded her about just what kind of world this was. Taking a moment to digest that yes, we were in the world of murder hobos, powers induced by mental breakdowns, and living beasts of the end, she nodded. "Fair... Really fair..."I rolled my eyes, then watched as she shook her head. "Secondly, if you try to skive off sleep because I made a bad call then I'm going to... Going too..." She blinked as she trailed off. Uh... What do I threaten someone with when they're trying to help me? Her thoughts focused on that, and she tuned out.

I was amused at this, and just watched and listened as her trains of thought went of. I knew what she was doing, but I wasn't going to stop her. We'd get to the meat and potatoes eventually. (Where'd that even come from anyway?) I didn't know, and I forgot where I'd even heard the phrase in the first place, but it wasn't that important.

Sinking into my seat, I waited for my other half to finish thinking of how she could threaten me to NOT look after her. Whatever she came up with was bound to be interesting given her thoughts. I mean, I could threaten him with some of my more paralytic insects, maybe mix up their venom and synthesize some kind of tranq dart to shoot at him if he tries... But he'd probably just turn into something to deal with it then comfort me anyway... She frowned, and I felt Self Deprecation again. Why am I even threatening him anyway? He cares, and I want to, what, stop him from caring by knocking him out? What the hell is wrong with me?!

And that was where I decided to stick my foot in. "To answer your question, we're touch/affection starved." Taylor froze, and her eyes focused on me. Surprise, Confusion, Realization flowing over. What? I snorted. "I figured it out during one of my runs as XLR8," Still a stupid name. "Silence non believer!" Her lips twitched, and I took that as a win."Anyway, think about it. Ever since your mom died," She flinched, and I reminded myself to tone down the asshole speak. That'd be nice, yeah. "You and your dad haven't exactly been happy go lucky, for good reason. Add onto the whole thing with The Three Bitches, and you pretty much had nothing to be happy about anymore." I could tell she didn't like what I'd brought up, or how I said this, but we could talk about that another day. "As for me, apathy borne isolation wasn't exactly healthy either. It's why I'm so touchy feely and forward with you." Which was true considering I initiated all of our hugs, it was why the one yesterday caught me so off guard.

She jerked at that, and I rolled my eyes. "You know how much I like having you around. How... Warm, our home is with you here. Which is another reason I'm calling this death trap hidden in a mountain, 'Home.' I'm not alone anymore. YOU'RE not alone anymore. We're in this together my other half." I felt her Appreciation, Affection, Happiness, ya know, the good shit. But I also felt a burst of Guilt as she turned away. I don't deserve it... That made me narrow my eyes. "Don't make me throw my slipper at you. I still have the muscle memory to quick scope you" She paused, then slowly turned back to me, not meeting my eyes. "Your turn to get sappy, or just say what's on your mind."

It took a bit, and for me to threateningly take off and prepare to launch my slipper, all Hispanics knew the instinctive stance to launch our weapons of choice, but she eventually spoke. "... We're... We're supposed to be team. That's the whole point of it! The whole point of why we have our Bond, the whole point of being able to talk to each other telepathically... And I just ignored it and made a decision that affects US without involving you!" Well... She had a point. "I KNOW I do! Fuck, that was the plan in the first place! We assumed we'd be together to do it, and I just went off script right from the start!" I always find some way to screw up.

The Anger and Frustration coming off her made me frown, so I got up and made my way over to the couch. She knew what I was going for, she had eyes and could hear my thoughts, but she didn't move or tell me not too, so when I sat down by her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, I wasn't surprised when she practically merged into my side, an arm of her own wrapping around my waist as her head rested against mine.

We were quiet for a bit, but that was fine for us. I just watched and felt the negative emotions bleed out of her, while she took in the comfort that came with being together.

Eventually, I went for it. "So," I met her gaze, and went on. "The next time something like this happens, what do you do?"

She sighed, Reluctance coming out. "But it was my fa...-" I poked her in the rib, getting a yelp. That wasn't what I meant, and we both knew it. "But it WA...- Stop poking me!" I deadpanned at the stubborn idiot, a thought that made her eye twitch despite me being right. She knew what I wanted her to say, and wasn't saying it because she was stu...- "I get it." Another sigh, but I kept my free hand ready to poke. "Next time I do a stupid, I go wake you up so we both do the stupid."

I snorted. "Like I said, we're in this together. We'll fight sometimes, even with our Bond, that's just natural, but at the end of the day we got each other." Taylor pulsed with Affection, Longing, and a spark of something else, while I just groaned. "...God, I feel like a Shounen character after saying that. The fuck's next, 'The Power of Friendship compels you?" She snorted.

Another bit of silence followed though, but it was nice. "By the way," She hummed, but I knew she was paying attention. "We're going to end up taking a day to talk about our feelings and shit aren't we?"

Taylor groaned, but the Reluctant Acceptance I felt from her let me know what she was going to say. "It's going to help us get better... And if we're going to survive, going to make it out... Then we NEED to be better. So we don't really have a choice." I hummed, knowing that she was right, then shrugged.

We'd figure it all out later.

We stayed silent for a bit, just relaxing. There were more things we would have to talk about, but for now neither of us wanted to get into them. We'd do them eventually, but just not now.

It was a few minutes into our quiet time that I blinked, remembering what happened earlier. I felt my lips tilt up, and almost laughed as Taylor's eyes widened in panic. "By the way, biting, huh?" Her lips twitched, but she decided to just roll her eyes and lay her head against mine again and doing her best to ignore the Embarrassment I felt from her. Contentment was probably coming from the both of us, but that was fine.

More teasing could come later.

Chapters are gonna slow down, I'm gonna stockpile a bunch until we get to canon, then upload them back to back again when I have enough, then do it again.