chapter:44
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Paul Abercomb just remained quiet, holding his breath and hoping the hat decide quickly. Finally after half a minute it shouted "Hufflepuff!"
McGonagall removed the hat and the young boy fell on his knees gasping for breath. "That was horrible." The young boy said.
"So is your hair." The hat snapped back. "Wash your hair properly, you have dandruff."
"Perhaps I can help you with that... here Mister Abercomb." Gilderoy Lockhart tossed a small bottle and the first year caught it.
"It's a free sample of my hair care product. That should take care of your Dandruff problem, and give your hair the smooth sheen like mine" The Defense Professor combed his hair with hand for effect, and it glinted at the torch light, drawing a certain thief's attention to it.
The young boy nodded as he pocketed the bottle, while the new Defense Professor gave a charming smile causing most of the female population to smile.
"Merlin help us." Severus Snape muttered. Inwardly, he contemplated asking the Defense Professor for a sample to analyze it, but he would never admit that to anyone, even to the Dark Lord.
The next students to be sorted had the same reactions, until the first girl to be sorted was called out.
"Brown, Adelle!"
The blonde haired girl wearing pigtails cautiously sat down and McGonagall immediately placed the hat over her head. Like the others the hat slid down, the lips of the hat touching her shoulders. Immediately the girl lifted the hat out of her head.
"What is the matter dear?" McGonagall asked.
"It's smelly!" The girl declared.
"You just have to endure it Miss Brown." McGonagall said as he lips thinned.
The young girl decided that she will do something about the smell and pulled out a small bottle of perfume.
Squirt
Squirt
"Ahck! What in Merlin's name? Stop it girl!" The hat shouted as the girl continued spraying a generous amount of perfume on the inside of the hat.
She took a sniff of the inside of the hat and finally decided it was doing its job masking the previous smell. She placed the hat back down on her head and sighed as she smelled her own perfume.
"You little bitch..." The sorting hat said.
"Franz!" The Headmaster warned amidst the muffled laughter inside the hall. It was the longest sorting by far, but the students were not complaining about it since they were enjoying the spectacle, even the Slytherins.
The next few Girls to be sorted thought that Adelle Brown's actions were brilliant and they too started to spray or dab the insides of the hat with their own perfumes. It was fine for the girls, but the boys to be sorted found the concentrated smell of perfume to be far worse and they held their breath for the duration of the sorting.
"Creevey, Colin!"
A small first year boy, walked eagerly to the stool, eager to wear the magical hat.
"Hmm yes... very difficult..." The hat said as it looked into the young boy's memories.
"Could you please hurry it up mister hat?" Colin asked loudly. "I'm getting dizzy from the smell of perfume."
"We must not rush this Mister Creevey..." The Hat said. "Ahh yes... very brave... and very loyal. Difficcult... quite difficult."
"I'm getting dizzy." Colin said weakly as he swayed on his seat.
"Just a few more minutes." The hat replied.
"I think I'm going to be sick." The young first year said.
"Sick... oh HELL! Minerva! Remove me from the boy's head!" The hat screamed. "Quickly!"
"Are you sure?" Minerva hesitated. "You haven't shouted his house yet Franz."
The Deputy Headmistress' hesitation made it too late as Colin Creevey started puking as he tried to remove the hat that had a snug fit over his head.
"Aw Shit!" The Hat swore. "That's it! I quit! I can't take more of this abuse!"
The hat continued to squirm as it was held by a disgusted Minerva McGonagall by the tip. "I shouldn't have returned! Steal me again! To anyone who is listening!"
The students watched in fascination as vomit poured down the neck of the young boy who was struggling and finally Minerva removed the hat from the boy's head.
Bleerghhh!
Colin vomited one last time, in front of the assembled students of the four houses.
"Ewwwww." The assembled students from the four houses said in unison, while the yet to be sorted first years watched in horror and fear knowing they had to wear the hat.
"Oh Jules..." Apolline Delacour giggled as her husband tossed her to the bed. She struck an artful and seductive pose, while Julian hurried to remove his coat and jacket.
Their date had gone very well, and the wine had helped loosen their inhibitions. Tonight was a night for passion, a night of love making and nothing else. The warm wind blew from the open balcony of their Marseilles beach house, caressing their bodies and enhancing the ambiance of the room.
Apolline smiled at her husband while the full moon bathed her skin, making her glow like a goddess from the heavens. If there was such a night for passion and sex, this was it.
Julian Delacour gave a predatory smile to his wife as he crawled towards the bed while Apolline giggled as her wrists were suddenly tied by silky scarves to the posts of the bed. The Delacour couple loved role playing, since it only heightened the pleasure they both felt.
"Oh Merlin... I didn't know they were kinky. Good job son!"
"I have to give it to your son... that's one fine catch."
"I never thought my baby boy would grow up to be like this... I remember when I first vanished his first poo poo."
The Delacour couple froze and stared wide eyed at each other. Julian climbed off his wife and scrambled to wrap his waist with the blanket while he looked around for the source of the noise.
"Ohhh Mama!"
"Nice Rack..."
"Julian!" Apolline screamed as the other portraits leered at her. "Untie me!"
Julian nodded and vanished the scarves and his wife used the large pillows to hide her assets. Apolline peered looked around the walls looking for the source of the voices.
"Honey, when did we have the portraits of your ancestors hung in your bedroom?" Apolline asked, recognizing the pictures of the old men winking at her. She glared back at the portraits and grabbed another pillow to hide her creamy white thighs from view.
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