Get The Hell Outta Here, Brian!

1.

Billy Welsie was funny looking. A little funky on the edges, you might say. You might even say he was fat. One could say that's normal for a kid his age. One could say it's cruel. One could say it's really cruel. After school everything seemed great and galavant. But school? Well, school was tough on Welsie. Welsie's sister Welly was always picking on him for being what she called, a snot. Loser. It stuck with him for a great part of his life. Welsie had a best friend that he loved, who loved him too. They loved trains in those days. That stuck with them forever. Brian Dawkins was his name. Married to his high school sweetheart, Faye Dawkins. Welsie married his own girl Shelly. They lived a real good life together. Welsie unfortunately wasn't completely happy with his family. So he decided to build one of his own. Which made Brian honored to have him as a brother. The two set out to spend the summer of '16 together. Faye bought a speedwagon to take them on vacation. Everything about it seemed perfect. It just made sense for them. Whatever it was happening seemed to fit well with the scenery. The beers they all shared helped along too. The normalness of their lives lasted until one fateful weekend. 4th of July celebrations.

Years on the making! What the hell do you think this is? I'm lying, she made the cake this afternoon. Well, you're gonna have to tell her that yourself, buddy.

What's happening?, asked Welsie.

Well, my dad is done!, said Brian.

What the hell, Brian, what do you mean?, asked Welsie.

He lost the mortgage of the house on Blackjack. I'm gonna have to go back to St. Louis. I'm sorry, Welsie.

You promised me you'd never go back there! They were mean to us, Brian!

I know. I know…, but I simply have to bail him out of this one. And you, Welsie, are coming with.

Oh, no, Brian! You know I can't do that! C'mon! They called me Whale Welsie, man! I can't go back there!

Don't gimme none of that! Worrying's for pussies, Welsie, you know that!

I hate you, Brian, I just can't do this right now. With Shelly, and the plans we have. It might mess up my whole deal here.

Don't you worry, Welsie, I'm taking care of that. Wait…

Welsie Winkle couldn't stop remembering the night. Such fateful night occured in 2002 by a couple of no good-doers named Tim and Andy. After years of severe psychological trauma, Welsie and Brian, who handled all that a little better, thought to go home at a nightbus they had at school in those days. Staying late to do studying marathons at school were tough. But they pulled through anyway. On arriving at their houses they said hi to their families and went to bed. In the next morning only to find out a bully-type kid went missing the night before. Welsie knew he'd be talking to the police about such an event like that. So did Brian.

The Police talked to them, ackowledged their innocence on the fact, and sent them home. No school that day. Welsie felt a sickening feeling in his stomach, but didn't tell anyone. He told that to Brian. Who found it normal. Days went on, so did the Police. The Case Of The Missing Bully, the news channels called it. To mark such a tragic event in those terms left the St. Louis in spite out of the media. But none did the boys. Welsie and Brian.

2.

After school was over, Welsie and Brian went on to college together. Softmore year. Spring break. Everything they could've hoped for. Times were growing good on them in those days. They studied in the morning and worked afternoons, in a little hardware store. At night they would go to the college bars they've heard all about throughout their school years. Sorority parties. Eclumence. You name it. They were living hard and fast. Years couldn't've gone faster. They spent most of their time face on their books. So they could be with friends they wished but couldn't have. It was a funtime in a funhouse. Some of their best memories were made in those days. The girls weren't far behind themselves. They came along pretty quick. And as soon as you hoped for, they were there. Facing those days with them. Side by side. As allies. Never underestimating the power of a kinship bond. Until one day, when Welsie was strolling forward the pages of an old magazine book and found a wagon. A speedwagon. Shelly soon became obsessed. So she bought a similar wagon for the four of them. With the money she saved working in a sportsdealer car shop. They invited both their friends from college, Shimmy and Licky for little trips on the countryfield. Kind of mood that put them ahead of their lives. Kind of mood that you oughtta have these days. Welsie thought he just had to give them a push for the pair to become part of the group.

How come you're always last place, Welsie?, asked Shimmy. Mocking his friend for losing at a boardgame again in a single evening.

Guess I'd just couldn't've won this one, dude!, he answers.

Don't beat yourself up, Welsie. You'll get 'em next time!, said Licky.

Alright, then…, what do you fellas say about spicing this game a little bit?, asked Brian.

Whatever do you mean, sports?, said Shelly.

Well, just a simple prank. No harm done. What do you say?, answered Brian.

What kinda prank?, asked Shimmy.

Well, dig Mr. Charleston's grave! That's the prank I want!, said Brian.

No way, Brian! He's the most powerful director of our school history! No way I'm submitting to that., finished Welsie.

C'mon, fellas! Let's make this fun! Huh? C'mon, it's just a harmless prank., finished Brian.

I'll do it!, Shimmy got courageous for these things.

Well done, Shimmy!, said Brian. Here's the thing: you're digging Mr. Charleston's grave and peeing on the casket. Do we have a deal?

You got a deal!, finished Shimmy.

C'mon, Shimmy, don't do that! You're gonna get expelled, for Christ sake!, argumented Welsie.

Nah, I'm doing it! Let's go, Brian!, finished Shimmy.

3.

The red-eye flight Brian and Welsie took to St. Louis was a travesti. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. As if they weren't supposed to fly to that God forsaken town. But they went as they said they wouldn't. Which brought tears to Welsie's eyes. And made Brian snore heavily while he slept. The meals on planes are single-serving. You get your food and they hope you make it to the other side. No heavy drama. The food has no salt. You have to spice it up yourself as you go. Most of what you hear on a flight is fake. They make excuses for themselves about their behavior. About why they're flying and all that. Privacy is one of the items airflight companies sell. The other one is liberties. You're free to be as wrong as you want. The problem is the privileges end as you walk out of the plane.

Arriving the cab drive at the small St. Louis neighborhood where Welsie and Brian share a side of the street, the pair is in shambles watching their whole lives pass through their memories. The flashes of bad situations put a sensation of despair mixed with euphoria inside their body core. Their spirits almost leave their bodies only to acknowledge them right where they are. The moment of clarity is abismal and indifferent. The amount of effort to get to that place is incredible and unbelievable. Unreliable. The memories they have mix things as they go. A sudden rush of sickness torments Welsie, who throws up coming off the cab. Brian pays the cabbie and drops from the car. The house Brian grew up seems irrelevantly unsatisfactory for him. Welsie agrees.

One step forward, two steps back. Thinks Welsie. As walking becomes natural again for the two of them, the sidewalks leave them some discomfort of a residency area where such bad memories occured.

Were they all bad, Brian? You tell me that, then we'll leave right now. I'm serious. Insists Welsie.

I don't really know, Welsie. It all feels like a blur in my mind. What do you think? Asks Brian.

They were horrible, Brian! C'mon!, says Welsie.

I don't feel well, Welsie. Let's bail my dad out and just leave already. Finishes Brian.

They get inside Brian's childhood home and his mom is bothering his dad again because of the set back he caused on the family's economies.

What a man's gotta do to get a beer around here? Jesus!, complains Mr. Dawkins.

Hey, dad. I'm here. What happened?, says Brian.

Oh, hey there. Brian and Welsie are here Doris. He mumbles.

Oh, thank God you're here Brian! You too, Welsie. I can't believe your dad did this, honey!, cries Mrs. Dawkins.

What happened, dad? Why did you gamble away the money?

I thought I had a good hand, son. You know Blackjack. How it goes.

No, I don't. I see a problem when we find one.

That's all that is to you? A problem in need to be solved?

It's exactly what it is to me. I have the money for the house's mortgage. But mom is gonna handle this from now on.

Okay, dear. Are you hungry?, asks Mrs. Dawkins.

Not everything can be solved with a meal, mom. We're not hobbos.

I'm sorry. I'm not saying anything anymore. She finishes.

The money is in the check I deposited at the airport. Now, me and Welsie are leaving. Bye. He ends the conversation. Let's go, Welsie!

Coming. Says Welsie. I'm really sorry.

The pair leaves them talking nonsense as they walk out the door. They walk barely talking to each other until they find a ride to the airport.

You think we're ever coming back here, Brian?, Welsie asks.

Not a chance, Welsie. Let's go.

They close the cab doors and leave.

4.

Faye Dawkins was checking an internet meme of a grumpy old cat when they arrived at the house. Brian was almost a no show considering how he stormed through the entrance to the bedroom.

Brian? Hey, Brian?, yelled Faye.

Hi, Faye. Said Welsie.

Hi. What happened to Brian?

Well, he kinda flipped out when we left St. Louis. He said he can't go back there again. I don't know. His family is weird right now. They live as if he didn't exist.

Well, he exists!, stormed Faye. They'll see about that Welsie. They'll see.

I know…, mumbled Welsie.

When Faye went to their bedroom she found Brian taking a shower. Trying to clean himself up from what just happened. Trying to rub off the dirt from the past. The stench of how bad and sacrilegious it got